Realizations...
I realize that I'm a piece of shit. I realize that I'm a self-ceneterd dick. And I never used to be like this. I became everything I hated. And it started happening long before I joined the Army. In my sophomore year of high school, I was a reclusive, shy, and an all out loser. Then, Amanda happened, making me feel slightly more confident about myself and my abilities. Then, I met Kristen, and became that much more comfortable with myself. Then, as I started making more and more friends, I got more and more cocky. Then, senior year was the climax of it all. I had more friends than I could count, everyone kept telling me how talented I was, and I had enlisted in the Army. It all went to my head, and I started to be called an asshole by some people. It meant nothing at the time to me, but I realize now that that's when it started. Then, I met Sasha, and we became a couple. This only boosted my self-esteem even more. I became more and more of a self-centered asshole towards everyone else. And then, I went to Basic Trainig, at which the main focus is to make you more confident, stronger, faster, better. And this went straight to my head, constantly thinking, "I wonder how many people back home could actually do this stuff." Then, I got to AIT, where I was now in regular communication with everyone back home, and I stepped on a lot of my old friends, most importantly, I stepped all over Sasha, with all the confidence in the world that what I was doing was "for the best", that we'd both end up in a better spot for it. Then my plans soured, Kristen told me off one too many times, and then, tonight, Sasha called me. She found out the whole story, and told me how she felt. Everything she told me was right, I couldn't argue with her. I'm a piece of shit. I'm a self-centered asshole, and I can only blame my situation on one person...myself...