(no subject)
ok ok ok....Zach=shithead.....
I've come to terms with that...but the real question is....why did I do that?
Well there were a few reasons...
A-Sunday-happiest day in a long time...Monday-Worst day in a long time, Tuesday-Not all that great, Wed&Thurs-Felt even worse,Friday-The word "whatever"...never a good thing to say to me....I was a little pissed
B-Long distance relationships really don't ever work out....I know I said differently on the phone, but I was being a hopeless romantic like I always am...Sometimes love isn't enough....
C-The big one....For most of ym life, I lived day to day.I never planned ahead for anything. I'd wake up with just enough time to do my morining routine and get out the door, with no extra time to find something to wear in case I idn't do laundary, or remember to take the things I needed for the day. I forget to ask off days of work, I live paycheck to paycheck...I never planned...but I came to a very depressing realization tonight...I'm leaving in less than a year...I'm going to devote my life to something honorable, rewarding, and challenging, but also lonely...I'll see you all when I get leave every so often, and I'll write, but it won't be much...I can't get attatched...To anyone...Cuz what if something happens(god forbid)...I don't want to leave anyone behind like that...I considered my own mortality for the first time in my life...And what if I become a completely different person, or have some kind of damage...Now, I've already made my decision..It's my only calling in life...I even considered going career, but I'll decide that when I'm done with my 4 years...
And so, I decided to go out with friends and have a good time instead of getting attatched to something that I know could never work out, regardless of how much I'd like it to...
I love all of my friends very dearly...And just know that I had tears in my eyes when I thought about hving to say goodbye to you all...
I've come to terms with that...but the real question is....why did I do that?
Well there were a few reasons...
A-Sunday-happiest day in a long time...Monday-Worst day in a long time, Tuesday-Not all that great, Wed&Thurs-Felt even worse,Friday-The word "whatever"...never a good thing to say to me....I was a little pissed
B-Long distance relationships really don't ever work out....I know I said differently on the phone, but I was being a hopeless romantic like I always am...Sometimes love isn't enough....
C-The big one....For most of ym life, I lived day to day.I never planned ahead for anything. I'd wake up with just enough time to do my morining routine and get out the door, with no extra time to find something to wear in case I idn't do laundary, or remember to take the things I needed for the day. I forget to ask off days of work, I live paycheck to paycheck...I never planned...but I came to a very depressing realization tonight...I'm leaving in less than a year...I'm going to devote my life to something honorable, rewarding, and challenging, but also lonely...I'll see you all when I get leave every so often, and I'll write, but it won't be much...I can't get attatched...To anyone...Cuz what if something happens(god forbid)...I don't want to leave anyone behind like that...I considered my own mortality for the first time in my life...And what if I become a completely different person, or have some kind of damage...Now, I've already made my decision..It's my only calling in life...I even considered going career, but I'll decide that when I'm done with my 4 years...
And so, I decided to go out with friends and have a good time instead of getting attatched to something that I know could never work out, regardless of how much I'd like it to...
I love all of my friends very dearly...And just know that I had tears in my eyes when I thought about hving to say goodbye to you all...