So I went to see THE LONE RANGER or should I say THE TOO DAMN LONG RANGER hoping for a Pirates repeat. But it was not to be, the movie was uneven and just dragged. Now I like long movies if it is justified like LoTR, GWtW and Gettysburg but in this movie
I was so, so, so bored in the center that the ending action sequence was a relief. THE LONE RANGER makes me a little sad. There were moments and little scenes here and there that were wonderful, even brilliant, but the script, editing and acting were so muddled that the movie could not survive it. If the film makers had stayed in one era (and I do not mean the fact it was narrated from a point in the 30s) stuck to the Supernatural aspects and played it serious it could have been cool. Instead the writer could not stay in one century, the film takes place in the 1800s and sometimes the character dialog is there too, and other times they talk like they are in a bad 2013 situational cop comedy. Then there are the anachronistic and cultural faux paxs scattered through out the movie. Starting with Johnny Depps make up that is based on a relatively famous painting called I AM CROW. Though the painting is not an accurate interpretation of The Apsaalooke tribe, it is supposed to capture that essense. But in the movie Tonto is said to be pure blood Comanche and the movie's attempt at explaining the inconguentity is weak. But cultural and era issues are not the only things unbalanced about the movie. It has slapstick juxtapositioned with brutal carnage with almost no transition time. Oh if that is not enough there is Johnny Depp's so called acting where he tries to spoof how Indians were portrayed in the 30s and 40s and fails. Some time sounding Like he is faking an Oriental accent, sometime sounding Jewish and sometimes sound just normal. I am surprised Native Americans are not screaming louder about this mess. But they are not even as loud as they were about Pocahantas. So the real question is, is the movie worth seeing? Well its better than that Dark Shadows disaster. And the horse is pretty cute, even though it is mostly puppetry and computer animation, so for a dollar or Netflicks it could waste 2 &1/2 hours of your life just to see the potential that was squandered. 1 & 1/2 Stars