The art of war
Title: The art of war
Pairing: Ohmiya (hamsters again)
Summary: It’s a beautiful thing to make new friends, isn’t it? Well, maybe N-chan has something to say about it.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine! And Machiavelli was kind enough to lend me some of his phrases for this fic ^__~
Genre: comedy, fluffy
Words count: 9698
AN: Betaed by elenilovesyou (Thanks a lot!). I’ve been busy co-writing Haunted and The cherry tree with aidill , but here I am again and I brought my little hamsters with me! ^__^v
1. To know in war how to recognize an opportunity and seize it is better than anything else.
N-chan awoke from his quiet slumber with the vague impression that something was amiss. He rubbed his eyes with his little paws and examined his surroundings.
“Huh? Where’s O-chan?”
He was sure that he had fallen asleep with his head resting comfortably on his friend’s neck, but now he was alone in their nest. Wrinkling his nose, N-chan exited the small house and sniffed the air trying to pick out his friend’s scent. He found it easily - it wasn’t one of his favorite scents for nothing; he especially loved how smelled behind O-chan’s small, round, pink ears; so cute that he sometimes had the urge to bite them and… What was he doing again? Ah yes, looking for O-chan. He sniffed around once more, trying to determine the direction his friend had taken, and then he noticed a weird scent coming from the same direction.
“Strange… Could it be a new hamster?”
N-chan hastily followed the other hamster’s scent and finally found him near the water dispenser. But the small hamster wasn’t alone. He was sniffing around an odd furry animal curiously. The newcomer was only slightly bigger than O-chan, but definitely not hamster-like.
“Look what I’ve found, N-chan!”
“What is that odd fur ball?”
“I don’t know. He was already here when I came to drink.”
N-chan glared at the strange animal with suspicion and sniffed around him.
“Those pointy ears, that tail… A cat?! O-chan, quickly move away from that thing!”
“But why? He looks inoffensive... and he’s so cute!”
O-chan shrieked with delight when the kitten rubbed his head against him, purring loudly.
“I think he likes me!”
N-chan moved his whiskers with displeasure observing the other two playing happily together, like they were best friends ever. For god’s sake! The damned fur ball was almost ogling over O-chan. His O-chan, mind you.
“I’m sure he’s a stray cat.” He observed with disdain. “Who knows how many diseases you could catch just by looking at him?”
“I don’t think so. Look, he wears a collar with a small tag” O-chan got closer to the kitty and examined the tag carefully “I think there’s a little ‘C’ engraved on it”
The kitten took that chance to lick playfully the small hamster’s nose and O-chan squeaked overjoyed… and thus missed the audible grinding of N-chan’s teeth.
“So the da-cute, I mean cute, kitty isn’t a stray? That changes everything, of course.”
He moved closer to them and strategically situated himself between his friend and the little cat, blatantly ignoring the immediate whines of the latter.
“Oh! I think he might be hungry or something. Wouldn’t be a good idea to bring him some seeds as a welcome gift?”
“Good idea N-chan! I’m going to get some from our nest. Keep him company, O.k.? Wait a minute Kitty-chan, I’ll be back with lots of seeds for you!”
“Don’t hurry O-chan, we’ll be waiting for you here~”
N-chan waited till his friend was out of sight to turn around to face the kitten, who eyed him warily.
“Well, at least one of us will be...”
When O-chan returned a few minutes later, he felt a bit sad when he saw that his new friend wasn’t there anymore. But he immediately felt better when N-chan assured him that the kitty had to go because his kitty friends had come to pick him up and he was probably playing with them right now - and he was sure that this had been the case after he had thrown the little pest out of their cage. They ended enjoying together the seeds O-chan had brought for the cat.
~~
2. A battle that you win cancels any other bad action of yours. In the same way, by losing one, all the good things worked by you before become vain.
Experiment HS923 - Can hamsters befriend animals from other species, more specifically baby animals of their natural predators (for example cats)?
Case of study number 2 (CS2):
As proved in case of study number 1 (CS1), subject of experiment 1, which from now on we will call SE1, reacted to the baby cat specimen in a very positive way, treating him as if he was just another hamster. On the other hand, the baby cat specimen seemed to take a great liking to SE1 too. Unfortunately, variables not contemplated in the original design of the experiment, prevented the completion of the previous case of study.
In order to gather more information about this subject, SE1 has been exposed again to the same specimen of baby cat and...
“A-chan, where are you? I know it was you who let the little pest enter again into our cage! And I am sure you were the one who let him in the first time too!”
N-chan angry voice could be heard from the base of the tower of blocks where A-chan was observing the results of his latest experiment.
“You can stop writing in that stupid research notebook of yours because I ’m going to make you eat it as soon as I find you! Don’t hide! I know you hear me!!”
Again, variables not contemplated have altered the conditions of the experiment. Can’t finish the research … gotta run.
~
3. You must never believe that the enemy does not know how to conduct his own affairs. Indeed, if you want to be deceived less and want to bear less danger, the more the enemy is weak or the less the enemy is cautious, so much more must you esteem him.
“Hello J-chan! Have you seen O-chan?” N-chan asked J-chan when he found him brushing carefully his glossy fur near his nest.
“He is playing with his new friend near the wheel” J-chan answered without paying attention to the other hamster. He was too occupied untangling a knot in his left rear leg. It was all the new shop assistant’s fault. If he had used the expensive shampoo that the owner always used when he bathed J-chan, ‘this’ would have never happened. J-chan was going to make sure that the careless boy regretted his actions. Next time he had his fingers within his reach he was going to…
“His new friend?” N-chan climbed on a near block from which he could see the wheel area without problems.
“Ah, there he is! But wait… Isn’t that the damned fur ball? It’s impossible! How did that little pest enter again into our cage? I made very clear to A-chan what would happen if he tried that stupid experiment again and...”
“I let him in” J-chan answered absentmindedly, still focused in his fur.
“WHAT!!”
J-chan turned his attention to his surprised friend for a moment.
“He was constantly looking at O-chan from outside the cage, whimpering pitifully. It was truly annoying and he didn’t let me rest, so I let him in.”
“J-chan!!!” N-chan whined, still incredulous over his friend’s betrayal.
“What? I need at least seven hours of daily sleep, you know? Or do you think that this gorgeous fur maintains itself alone?”
~~
4. The greatest remedy that is used against a plan of the enemy is to do voluntarily what he plans that you do by force.
Life was good for N-chan. First, the new shop assistant boy - the last one had fled after a few encounters with J-chan’s wrath in all its glory - had treated them peanuts this morning. Secondly, he was taking a walk outside their cage with O-chan to see the new goldfishes that had been recently brought. And finally but not less importantly, it had been weeks since he saw the damn fur ball for the last time. Yes, life was good indeed.
“I’m so curious about the new goldfishes! A-chan told me that they have big heads and rather short tail. I think they’re called Ranchu or something like that. Do you think they will be cute, N-chan?”
“I’m sure of it. Come on O-chan, follow me. We have to turn the next corner to reach the aquariums.”
As soon as the two hamsters turned the corner of the shelves, N-chan noticed a strange smell coming from the corridor they had just entered.
“Um? What is this?” He stopped for a second to sniff around. Meanwhile O-chan, overly excited about visiting the goldfishes, kept walking without noticing anything.
Suddenly, a big cat jumped off a near table and landed only a few meters in front of them. He eyed the two hamsters intensely.
“A cat!! Run O-chan, run!!” N-chan hastily recovered from the first impression and fled down the corridor at full speed… until he noticed that his friend wasn’t following him.
“Oh no! Where’s O-chan? Could the cat have trapped him?” Fearing the worst, he ran back at full speed, his heart batting painfully in his chest. He turned the corner once more... and stopped dead in his track at the sight in front of him.
“Hello N-chan! Where did you go?” the little hamster was happily running up and down over the cat’s back, who was laying comfortably in the floor, looking at O-chan with obvious adoration.
“Wha-What are you doing O-chan?” N-chan eyed warily the big cat, carefully keeping his distance.
“I’m playing with Kitty-chan, of course!” O-chan stopped his race near the feline’s head to look cheerfully at the other hamster. “I almost didn’t recognize him. He has grown so much these past weeks!” The cat rubbed his head lovingly against the little hamster, purring with delight.
“Kitty-chan? Who is Kitty-ch... THE DAMN FUR BALL?!?”
“I don’t think that’s his name…” O-chan wrinkled his nose, looking dubiously at his bewildered friend. “Look, he wears a big tag this time” He carefully read the letters engraved in the tag. “C-H-I-N-E-N. It’s a cute name for a cat, isn’t it? And his fur is so soft and warm! Why don’t you come to play too, N-chan?”
N-chan looked at the cat and the feline looked back at him. Can cats smile? N-chan was sure that this particular specimen could… and it was a smile full of teeth.
“I’ve just remembered that there are a few things I need to do. Maybe another time, O-chan”
“O.k. We’ll go to see the goldfishes tomorrow then! See you later, N-chan!”
~~
5. There is nothing as likely to succeed as what the enemy believes you cannot attempt.
“What are you doing here, N-chan? Didn’t you go to take a walk with O-chan?” S-chan was surprised to find the younger hamster alone near the exercise wheel, mumbling darkly to himself while cutting a newspaper page into tiny pieces.
“He has a sleepover with a friend” the sulking hamster answered without averting his eyes from the offending piece of paper.
“A sleepover with a friend? A new hamster?”
“Something similar”
Feeling that his friend didn’t want to talk about it - N-chan’s jealousy over anything related with O-chan was a well-known fact... and a feared one too - he tried to distract him with something else. His searching gaze stopped over an advertisement published on the innocent page that was receiving N-chan’s wrath.
“Oh! Did you see that? Our shop is having a big sale tomorrow morning. They’re going to give 10%, 20% and even 50% discount in some animals.”
“Um?” N-chan stopped his destructive work to look interested at the other hamster. “Does it say in which animals?”
“Dogs, squirrels, cats… It’s not very specific about it. They didn’t mention hamsters... I wonder if that’s a good or a bad si...”
“Do you know where the cats’ cages are, S-chan?” N-chan interrupted him with a strange gleam in his eyes.
“They’re at the back of the room, near the parrots’ cages. Why do you ask?”
“I’m just curious,” was the nonchalant answer of his friend. “Well, I have some zeros to gnaw at, some special discounts to prepare. See you, S-chan!
The older hamster observed stupefied how N-chan hastily disappeared in the door’s cage direction, his mood changed completely. Resigned to never truly understand his friend - to tell the truth it wasn’t a very difficult task, he had renounced to try to understand A-chan’s strange experiments, J-chan’s obsession with shampoos or even O-chan fixation on goldfishes, ages ago - he resumed his lecture of the remaining pages of the newspaper.
“Oh! The economic section is almost intact. I just love how these pages smell!”
~
Meanwhile, near the cat’s section...
“Damned fur ball. Maybe you won this battle, but I will win this war!”
END
Pairing: Ohmiya (hamsters again)
Summary: It’s a beautiful thing to make new friends, isn’t it? Well, maybe N-chan has something to say about it.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine! And Machiavelli was kind enough to lend me some of his phrases for this fic ^__~
Genre: comedy, fluffy
Words count: 9698
AN: Betaed by elenilovesyou (Thanks a lot!). I’ve been busy co-writing Haunted and The cherry tree with aidill , but here I am again and I brought my little hamsters with me! ^__^v
1. To know in war how to recognize an opportunity and seize it is better than anything else.
N-chan awoke from his quiet slumber with the vague impression that something was amiss. He rubbed his eyes with his little paws and examined his surroundings.
“Huh? Where’s O-chan?”
He was sure that he had fallen asleep with his head resting comfortably on his friend’s neck, but now he was alone in their nest. Wrinkling his nose, N-chan exited the small house and sniffed the air trying to pick out his friend’s scent. He found it easily - it wasn’t one of his favorite scents for nothing; he especially loved how smelled behind O-chan’s small, round, pink ears; so cute that he sometimes had the urge to bite them and… What was he doing again? Ah yes, looking for O-chan. He sniffed around once more, trying to determine the direction his friend had taken, and then he noticed a weird scent coming from the same direction.
“Strange… Could it be a new hamster?”
N-chan hastily followed the other hamster’s scent and finally found him near the water dispenser. But the small hamster wasn’t alone. He was sniffing around an odd furry animal curiously. The newcomer was only slightly bigger than O-chan, but definitely not hamster-like.
“Look what I’ve found, N-chan!”
“What is that odd fur ball?”
“I don’t know. He was already here when I came to drink.”
N-chan glared at the strange animal with suspicion and sniffed around him.
“Those pointy ears, that tail… A cat?! O-chan, quickly move away from that thing!”
“But why? He looks inoffensive... and he’s so cute!”
O-chan shrieked with delight when the kitten rubbed his head against him, purring loudly.
“I think he likes me!”
N-chan moved his whiskers with displeasure observing the other two playing happily together, like they were best friends ever. For god’s sake! The damned fur ball was almost ogling over O-chan. His O-chan, mind you.
“I’m sure he’s a stray cat.” He observed with disdain. “Who knows how many diseases you could catch just by looking at him?”
“I don’t think so. Look, he wears a collar with a small tag” O-chan got closer to the kitty and examined the tag carefully “I think there’s a little ‘C’ engraved on it”
The kitten took that chance to lick playfully the small hamster’s nose and O-chan squeaked overjoyed… and thus missed the audible grinding of N-chan’s teeth.
“So the da-cute, I mean cute, kitty isn’t a stray? That changes everything, of course.”
He moved closer to them and strategically situated himself between his friend and the little cat, blatantly ignoring the immediate whines of the latter.
“Oh! I think he might be hungry or something. Wouldn’t be a good idea to bring him some seeds as a welcome gift?”
“Good idea N-chan! I’m going to get some from our nest. Keep him company, O.k.? Wait a minute Kitty-chan, I’ll be back with lots of seeds for you!”
“Don’t hurry O-chan, we’ll be waiting for you here~”
N-chan waited till his friend was out of sight to turn around to face the kitten, who eyed him warily.
“Well, at least one of us will be...”
When O-chan returned a few minutes later, he felt a bit sad when he saw that his new friend wasn’t there anymore. But he immediately felt better when N-chan assured him that the kitty had to go because his kitty friends had come to pick him up and he was probably playing with them right now - and he was sure that this had been the case after he had thrown the little pest out of their cage. They ended enjoying together the seeds O-chan had brought for the cat.
~~
2. A battle that you win cancels any other bad action of yours. In the same way, by losing one, all the good things worked by you before become vain.
Experiment HS923 - Can hamsters befriend animals from other species, more specifically baby animals of their natural predators (for example cats)?
Case of study number 2 (CS2):
As proved in case of study number 1 (CS1), subject of experiment 1, which from now on we will call SE1, reacted to the baby cat specimen in a very positive way, treating him as if he was just another hamster. On the other hand, the baby cat specimen seemed to take a great liking to SE1 too. Unfortunately, variables not contemplated in the original design of the experiment, prevented the completion of the previous case of study.
In order to gather more information about this subject, SE1 has been exposed again to the same specimen of baby cat and...
“A-chan, where are you? I know it was you who let the little pest enter again into our cage! And I am sure you were the one who let him in the first time too!”
N-chan angry voice could be heard from the base of the tower of blocks where A-chan was observing the results of his latest experiment.
“You can stop writing in that stupid research notebook of yours because I ’m going to make you eat it as soon as I find you! Don’t hide! I know you hear me!!”
Again, variables not contemplated have altered the conditions of the experiment. Can’t finish the research … gotta run.
~
3. You must never believe that the enemy does not know how to conduct his own affairs. Indeed, if you want to be deceived less and want to bear less danger, the more the enemy is weak or the less the enemy is cautious, so much more must you esteem him.
“Hello J-chan! Have you seen O-chan?” N-chan asked J-chan when he found him brushing carefully his glossy fur near his nest.
“He is playing with his new friend near the wheel” J-chan answered without paying attention to the other hamster. He was too occupied untangling a knot in his left rear leg. It was all the new shop assistant’s fault. If he had used the expensive shampoo that the owner always used when he bathed J-chan, ‘this’ would have never happened. J-chan was going to make sure that the careless boy regretted his actions. Next time he had his fingers within his reach he was going to…
“His new friend?” N-chan climbed on a near block from which he could see the wheel area without problems.
“Ah, there he is! But wait… Isn’t that the damned fur ball? It’s impossible! How did that little pest enter again into our cage? I made very clear to A-chan what would happen if he tried that stupid experiment again and...”
“I let him in” J-chan answered absentmindedly, still focused in his fur.
“WHAT!!”
J-chan turned his attention to his surprised friend for a moment.
“He was constantly looking at O-chan from outside the cage, whimpering pitifully. It was truly annoying and he didn’t let me rest, so I let him in.”
“J-chan!!!” N-chan whined, still incredulous over his friend’s betrayal.
“What? I need at least seven hours of daily sleep, you know? Or do you think that this gorgeous fur maintains itself alone?”
~~
4. The greatest remedy that is used against a plan of the enemy is to do voluntarily what he plans that you do by force.
Life was good for N-chan. First, the new shop assistant boy - the last one had fled after a few encounters with J-chan’s wrath in all its glory - had treated them peanuts this morning. Secondly, he was taking a walk outside their cage with O-chan to see the new goldfishes that had been recently brought. And finally but not less importantly, it had been weeks since he saw the damn fur ball for the last time. Yes, life was good indeed.
“I’m so curious about the new goldfishes! A-chan told me that they have big heads and rather short tail. I think they’re called Ranchu or something like that. Do you think they will be cute, N-chan?”
“I’m sure of it. Come on O-chan, follow me. We have to turn the next corner to reach the aquariums.”
As soon as the two hamsters turned the corner of the shelves, N-chan noticed a strange smell coming from the corridor they had just entered.
“Um? What is this?” He stopped for a second to sniff around. Meanwhile O-chan, overly excited about visiting the goldfishes, kept walking without noticing anything.
Suddenly, a big cat jumped off a near table and landed only a few meters in front of them. He eyed the two hamsters intensely.
“A cat!! Run O-chan, run!!” N-chan hastily recovered from the first impression and fled down the corridor at full speed… until he noticed that his friend wasn’t following him.
“Oh no! Where’s O-chan? Could the cat have trapped him?” Fearing the worst, he ran back at full speed, his heart batting painfully in his chest. He turned the corner once more... and stopped dead in his track at the sight in front of him.
“Hello N-chan! Where did you go?” the little hamster was happily running up and down over the cat’s back, who was laying comfortably in the floor, looking at O-chan with obvious adoration.
“Wha-What are you doing O-chan?” N-chan eyed warily the big cat, carefully keeping his distance.
“I’m playing with Kitty-chan, of course!” O-chan stopped his race near the feline’s head to look cheerfully at the other hamster. “I almost didn’t recognize him. He has grown so much these past weeks!” The cat rubbed his head lovingly against the little hamster, purring with delight.
“Kitty-chan? Who is Kitty-ch... THE DAMN FUR BALL?!?”
“I don’t think that’s his name…” O-chan wrinkled his nose, looking dubiously at his bewildered friend. “Look, he wears a big tag this time” He carefully read the letters engraved in the tag. “C-H-I-N-E-N. It’s a cute name for a cat, isn’t it? And his fur is so soft and warm! Why don’t you come to play too, N-chan?”
N-chan looked at the cat and the feline looked back at him. Can cats smile? N-chan was sure that this particular specimen could… and it was a smile full of teeth.
“I’ve just remembered that there are a few things I need to do. Maybe another time, O-chan”
“O.k. We’ll go to see the goldfishes tomorrow then! See you later, N-chan!”
~~
5. There is nothing as likely to succeed as what the enemy believes you cannot attempt.
“What are you doing here, N-chan? Didn’t you go to take a walk with O-chan?” S-chan was surprised to find the younger hamster alone near the exercise wheel, mumbling darkly to himself while cutting a newspaper page into tiny pieces.
“He has a sleepover with a friend” the sulking hamster answered without averting his eyes from the offending piece of paper.
“A sleepover with a friend? A new hamster?”
“Something similar”
Feeling that his friend didn’t want to talk about it - N-chan’s jealousy over anything related with O-chan was a well-known fact... and a feared one too - he tried to distract him with something else. His searching gaze stopped over an advertisement published on the innocent page that was receiving N-chan’s wrath.
“Oh! Did you see that? Our shop is having a big sale tomorrow morning. They’re going to give 10%, 20% and even 50% discount in some animals.”
“Um?” N-chan stopped his destructive work to look interested at the other hamster. “Does it say in which animals?”
“Dogs, squirrels, cats… It’s not very specific about it. They didn’t mention hamsters... I wonder if that’s a good or a bad si...”
“Do you know where the cats’ cages are, S-chan?” N-chan interrupted him with a strange gleam in his eyes.
“They’re at the back of the room, near the parrots’ cages. Why do you ask?”
“I’m just curious,” was the nonchalant answer of his friend. “Well, I have some zeros to gnaw at, some special discounts to prepare. See you, S-chan!
The older hamster observed stupefied how N-chan hastily disappeared in the door’s cage direction, his mood changed completely. Resigned to never truly understand his friend - to tell the truth it wasn’t a very difficult task, he had renounced to try to understand A-chan’s strange experiments, J-chan’s obsession with shampoos or even O-chan fixation on goldfishes, ages ago - he resumed his lecture of the remaining pages of the newspaper.
“Oh! The economic section is almost intact. I just love how these pages smell!”
~
Meanwhile, near the cat’s section...
“Damned fur ball. Maybe you won this battle, but I will win this war!”
END