Meow
The humans have left the house for the day (except for that big one who lives upstairs and makes the funny noise when he sleeps). I wonder where they go? I meow at them through the door they rudely shut in my face when they disappear but they don't answer. Oh well, I get the bed to myself all day.
My schedule today:
8:00 am - 12:00 noon - Sleep on the big bed
12:00 - 12:30 - Have a snack from the cat bowl followed by a drink from the toilet (the water there tastes much better than what mom puts in my bowl!)
12:30 - 12:45 - Try to catch that annoying thing that always disappears when I turn around to grab it, even when I run in circles as fast as I can
12:45 - 2:00 pm - recuperate from the exhaustion of actually having had to do something
2:00 - 3:00 - meow at the large human who gets up and moves things around. Elicit affection and worship from him. Wait for him to warm a chair for me and jump into it the moment he stands up. (Can you believe sometimes he comes back and evicts me!? The nerve!)
3:00 - 5:30 pm - wait impatiently for my humans to come home and adore me. Attack dustballs under the chair.
5:30 - 9:00 pm - meow continually at every human as they arrive home, whenever they go to the bathroom, whenever they move from one room to another, and whenever they sit down to eat, unless they are paying attention to me the way they ought. Wait for them to warm chairs for me so I can sit in them. Give them the cat stare of guilt if they think of taking the chair back from me once I have comfortably settled myself into it. Graciously accede to the squeezes of the small human, whom I am training well. Get him to give me cat treats. Chase that annoying thing that disappears every time I turn around some more. hat is that thing?
9:00 -10:00 pm - complain loudly when I am not allowed into the room with the big bed. Climb on the chair next to the door and try to turn the doorknob, which never works, but which makes a loud enough rattling sound that it disturbs the humans who were inconsiderate enough to have shut me out. Listen to the strange noises coming from the room.
10:00 pm - 3:00 am - sleep on top of the small human to make sure he doesn't go anywhere.
3:00 - 6:00 am - Time to go on a tear! Rattle doorknobs, chase cat fairies, gallop across floor as loudly as possible. Why are the humans asleep at the best time of day?
6:00 - 8:00 am - Humans getting up. Sneak into room as soon as possible to sleep on the big bed which they have thoughtfully warmed up for me. Follow them around and complain loudly about the distressingly low level of cat food in my bowl.
*purr-stretch-mrrr* Such a busy schedule!
My schedule today:
8:00 am - 12:00 noon - Sleep on the big bed
12:00 - 12:30 - Have a snack from the cat bowl followed by a drink from the toilet (the water there tastes much better than what mom puts in my bowl!)
12:30 - 12:45 - Try to catch that annoying thing that always disappears when I turn around to grab it, even when I run in circles as fast as I can
12:45 - 2:00 pm - recuperate from the exhaustion of actually having had to do something
2:00 - 3:00 - meow at the large human who gets up and moves things around. Elicit affection and worship from him. Wait for him to warm a chair for me and jump into it the moment he stands up. (Can you believe sometimes he comes back and evicts me!? The nerve!)
3:00 - 5:30 pm - wait impatiently for my humans to come home and adore me. Attack dustballs under the chair.
5:30 - 9:00 pm - meow continually at every human as they arrive home, whenever they go to the bathroom, whenever they move from one room to another, and whenever they sit down to eat, unless they are paying attention to me the way they ought. Wait for them to warm chairs for me so I can sit in them. Give them the cat stare of guilt if they think of taking the chair back from me once I have comfortably settled myself into it. Graciously accede to the squeezes of the small human, whom I am training well. Get him to give me cat treats. Chase that annoying thing that disappears every time I turn around some more. hat is that thing?
9:00 -10:00 pm - complain loudly when I am not allowed into the room with the big bed. Climb on the chair next to the door and try to turn the doorknob, which never works, but which makes a loud enough rattling sound that it disturbs the humans who were inconsiderate enough to have shut me out. Listen to the strange noises coming from the room.
10:00 pm - 3:00 am - sleep on top of the small human to make sure he doesn't go anywhere.
3:00 - 6:00 am - Time to go on a tear! Rattle doorknobs, chase cat fairies, gallop across floor as loudly as possible. Why are the humans asleep at the best time of day?
6:00 - 8:00 am - Humans getting up. Sneak into room as soon as possible to sleep on the big bed which they have thoughtfully warmed up for me. Follow them around and complain loudly about the distressingly low level of cat food in my bowl.
*purr-stretch-mrrr* Such a busy schedule!