Relentless Rememberance.
I remember being an actual child, rather than the child trapped in an adults body that i am now. I remember when wooden pallets stacked outside a factory in the industrial estate near where we lived were a source of excitement. Finally we can finish the walls on our
treehouse! I remember the burnt out moped that a friend and I found on the same industrial estate, pushed all the way to the local scrapyard just to get a couple of quid for its charred frame and battery. I remember finding the frame of a skyway BMX that had been discarded in a corner of said industrial estate, dragging it home and rebuilding it with parts of other bikes that, much to my fathers outward frustration (but inner delight I like to think) filled his shed. Talking of BMXs, I also remember building another bike from all the leftover parts in the shed. It was a beast. Bodged together with all the wrong bearings, wrong size nuts, knackered chain, hookey brakes.
Made me £40 which at 14 was quite a lot of cash. I remember walking from one side of town to the other, in the pissing rain, wearing my favourite jeans and my black denim jacket (now where DID that go?) smoking a soaked cigarette, feeling like a character in a song or a movie, just to hang out with my friends in a deserted old farm. The barn was pretty cool. Lots of high perches to climb to and keep watch from. But it was the house that caused most amusement.
I remember hiding upstairs with Rob, and a collection of bricks and large stones whilst
Ashley explained to the girls in our little gang that we had been grounded and wouldnt be out
that night before leading them into the basement of the house. Giving them about 5 minutes to light cigarettes and sit down, Rob and I then began throwing bricks at the floor and walls, causing loud thumps and bangs to reverberate through the house. We were rewarded with the screams of our female friends and the sound of five people scrambling and running from the cellar. Rob and I were laughing our asses off. We wandered back through the house and met the girls and Ashley outside. Understandably they were a little bit pissed at us, but whilst we were all laughing we heard more noises from the house. Louder thumps and bangs than we had been making only moments before, coming from the house we had left empty! Needless to say all of us ran hell for leather, scaled the six foot, barbed wire topped chainlink fence and scrambled through the hedge before meeting up, slightly wild eyed and ragged at the garage at the top of the road. I also remember this event making us even more determined to spend the night in the house. But thats another story. I remember buying a 7 iron golf club from a local boot fair, carrying it home and meeting some random guy who gave me a carrier bag full of golf balls from his shed. I remember going to the local playing fields with a couple of friends, Daniel and Lenny, standing in one goal mouth and trying to whack golf balls through the opposite goal mouth. I remember the feeling of elation when managing to hit the crossbar of the opposite goal with a resounding "DING!"I remember playing football on a green area in the maze-like housing estate on which we lived. I remember taking circuitous routes through the warren of alleyways and passages that made up the housing estate in order to avoid the gangs of older teens that liked to prey on the younger kids. I remember the walk home from school being fraught with more imaginary danger than real! I remember the feeling once i was bigger and older, of walking without that fear. I remember earning the respect of others in doubtful ways. I remember fights won, mostly by chance, never by skill. Brains more than brawn. I remember buying my first packet of cigarettes.
I remember buying cigarettes on the way to school, selling that 10 cigarettes individually
and making enough money to buy more cigarettes AND lunch!I remember sitting at the bar of a country pub with my Dad. I remember the basket of chips that appeared steaming before me. I remember picking up the ketchup and shaking it enthusiastically. I rememeber the look on my dads face and wondering why he looked slightly distraught. I remember turning around slowly to see the people sat at a table behind dripping with ketchup.
I remember boot fairs with my dad on a sunny sunday morning, I remember buying armfulls of old Beano annuals and other books. I remember Autojumbles which were full of strange mechanisms and shiny lights and mirrors from classic cars. I remember sunlight so bright that my pupils were like pinpricks when i looked in the car rearview mirror.I remember playing Streetfighter 2 for hours with Lenny who lived over the road. I remember when life was shaped and managed around mealtimes and bed times. I remember some wonderful parenting by my Dad, whereby he asked why I was late home so often. Replying with the truth that I liked to walk my girlfriend home before coming home myself earned me an extra half hour out in the evenings.I remember cycling home drunk as a skunk on a girls bike after spending all day fooling around with said girl and drinking large quantities of lambrusco and cinzano. I remember seeing the yellow lines that I was so conciously following. I remember avoiding people in town that wanted to speak to me. I remember sitting at home and staying as silent as possible whilst eating dinner. I remember cycling back to the girls house, louise I believe her name was, and spending the evening there.
I remember my Gran coming to stay for christmas one year and all else I can remember was that we had an entire crate of different flavours of fizzy pop. I remember being given a watch because my cat had to be put down due to some kind of disease. (never did understand the link there)I remember playing Airwolf on the arcade machine in the same pub as the ketchup incident and beating all the local lads (much to their frustration) so that my high score and psuedonym were top of the table all the time.
I remember new schools, new playgrounds, new teachers, new curriculums, new kids, new bullies, new games, new towns, new houses, new friends. I remember everything seeming new all the time. Life changing continuously like the stop-frame animation of a tree that grows so fast, time speeded up to highlight how much time has passed.I remember the start of my thoughts. I remember the heartbreak and the pain. I remember the tears and the tissues. I remember the smiles and the love, the laughter and the loss. I remember more than i care to spill, more than i possibly should, more than I know. I remember the start and the end. Over and over and over.
Relentless Rememberance.
treehouse! I remember the burnt out moped that a friend and I found on the same industrial estate, pushed all the way to the local scrapyard just to get a couple of quid for its charred frame and battery. I remember finding the frame of a skyway BMX that had been discarded in a corner of said industrial estate, dragging it home and rebuilding it with parts of other bikes that, much to my fathers outward frustration (but inner delight I like to think) filled his shed. Talking of BMXs, I also remember building another bike from all the leftover parts in the shed. It was a beast. Bodged together with all the wrong bearings, wrong size nuts, knackered chain, hookey brakes.
Made me £40 which at 14 was quite a lot of cash. I remember walking from one side of town to the other, in the pissing rain, wearing my favourite jeans and my black denim jacket (now where DID that go?) smoking a soaked cigarette, feeling like a character in a song or a movie, just to hang out with my friends in a deserted old farm. The barn was pretty cool. Lots of high perches to climb to and keep watch from. But it was the house that caused most amusement.
I remember hiding upstairs with Rob, and a collection of bricks and large stones whilst
Ashley explained to the girls in our little gang that we had been grounded and wouldnt be out
that night before leading them into the basement of the house. Giving them about 5 minutes to light cigarettes and sit down, Rob and I then began throwing bricks at the floor and walls, causing loud thumps and bangs to reverberate through the house. We were rewarded with the screams of our female friends and the sound of five people scrambling and running from the cellar. Rob and I were laughing our asses off. We wandered back through the house and met the girls and Ashley outside. Understandably they were a little bit pissed at us, but whilst we were all laughing we heard more noises from the house. Louder thumps and bangs than we had been making only moments before, coming from the house we had left empty! Needless to say all of us ran hell for leather, scaled the six foot, barbed wire topped chainlink fence and scrambled through the hedge before meeting up, slightly wild eyed and ragged at the garage at the top of the road. I also remember this event making us even more determined to spend the night in the house. But thats another story. I remember buying a 7 iron golf club from a local boot fair, carrying it home and meeting some random guy who gave me a carrier bag full of golf balls from his shed. I remember going to the local playing fields with a couple of friends, Daniel and Lenny, standing in one goal mouth and trying to whack golf balls through the opposite goal mouth. I remember the feeling of elation when managing to hit the crossbar of the opposite goal with a resounding "DING!"I remember playing football on a green area in the maze-like housing estate on which we lived. I remember taking circuitous routes through the warren of alleyways and passages that made up the housing estate in order to avoid the gangs of older teens that liked to prey on the younger kids. I remember the walk home from school being fraught with more imaginary danger than real! I remember the feeling once i was bigger and older, of walking without that fear. I remember earning the respect of others in doubtful ways. I remember fights won, mostly by chance, never by skill. Brains more than brawn. I remember buying my first packet of cigarettes.
I remember buying cigarettes on the way to school, selling that 10 cigarettes individually
and making enough money to buy more cigarettes AND lunch!I remember sitting at the bar of a country pub with my Dad. I remember the basket of chips that appeared steaming before me. I remember picking up the ketchup and shaking it enthusiastically. I rememeber the look on my dads face and wondering why he looked slightly distraught. I remember turning around slowly to see the people sat at a table behind dripping with ketchup.
I remember boot fairs with my dad on a sunny sunday morning, I remember buying armfulls of old Beano annuals and other books. I remember Autojumbles which were full of strange mechanisms and shiny lights and mirrors from classic cars. I remember sunlight so bright that my pupils were like pinpricks when i looked in the car rearview mirror.I remember playing Streetfighter 2 for hours with Lenny who lived over the road. I remember when life was shaped and managed around mealtimes and bed times. I remember some wonderful parenting by my Dad, whereby he asked why I was late home so often. Replying with the truth that I liked to walk my girlfriend home before coming home myself earned me an extra half hour out in the evenings.I remember cycling home drunk as a skunk on a girls bike after spending all day fooling around with said girl and drinking large quantities of lambrusco and cinzano. I remember seeing the yellow lines that I was so conciously following. I remember avoiding people in town that wanted to speak to me. I remember sitting at home and staying as silent as possible whilst eating dinner. I remember cycling back to the girls house, louise I believe her name was, and spending the evening there.
I remember my Gran coming to stay for christmas one year and all else I can remember was that we had an entire crate of different flavours of fizzy pop. I remember being given a watch because my cat had to be put down due to some kind of disease. (never did understand the link there)I remember playing Airwolf on the arcade machine in the same pub as the ketchup incident and beating all the local lads (much to their frustration) so that my high score and psuedonym were top of the table all the time.
I remember new schools, new playgrounds, new teachers, new curriculums, new kids, new bullies, new games, new towns, new houses, new friends. I remember everything seeming new all the time. Life changing continuously like the stop-frame animation of a tree that grows so fast, time speeded up to highlight how much time has passed.I remember the start of my thoughts. I remember the heartbreak and the pain. I remember the tears and the tissues. I remember the smiles and the love, the laughter and the loss. I remember more than i care to spill, more than i possibly should, more than I know. I remember the start and the end. Over and over and over.
Relentless Rememberance.