(no subject)
Taken from linda.
All I really need to know about Zombies...
1. Do not bend over to check the prone body.
2. Don't run into the basement.
3. If a person runs after a pet or loved one, shut the door and leave them to die.
4. Don't try to run and escape if you still have lots of supplies.
5. Never move at night.
6. Shoot anyone who panics.
7. Don't become attached emotionally to people.
8. Melee weapons never run out of ammunition.
9. Forearm and leg kevlar is a must.
10. Razor wire is your friend.
11. Never go into a major city.
12. In the event you did number eleven and are somehow still alive, fortify high up in a building.
13. Never say "I don't believe that crap".
14. Never allow yourself to feel emotion when shooting a zombie; it won't show the same for you.
15. When commandeering a vehicle, makie it one with full gas tank.
16. Ration your food.
17. Aim for the head.
18. Running away is the better part of valor.
19. If these are new running zombies, never miss a headshot.
20. If there's time, hit the library for books on skills you'll need like gardening, mechanical repair, etc.
21. There is no shame in looting gun stores when the owner is zombified.
22. Remember what you want when choosing a sword. A katana may look cool, but if you forget its more of a slashing weapon for angles, its not gonna help when stuck in zombie body.
23. If an evil corporation is behind it, you will never win.
24. Don't shoot people who can talk, that are armed, and identify themselves as rescuers.
25. But hold the gun to their heads until you see some I.D., darn marauders.
26. Fellow humans can't be trusted.
27. Pungi pits, barbed wire, moving cars to form walls, are all good ideas.
28. Landmines never go out of style.
29. Bows and arrows are long range too.
30. Soaking streets in flammable materials for a well placed gunshot later is good. You may end up burning hundreds to thousands of zombies to ash.
31. Make sure to leave yourself a way out from the fire in the event of 30.
32. If you can rally the military, you can secure one city.
33. Zombies cannot bite through the armor of an M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank.
34. Morality goes goodbye, if you have a helicopter gunship above a crowd of thousands of zombies, mow them down with the missile pods and gattling guns.
35. You cannot seal your borders.
36. Cruise ships, aircraft carriers, submarines, are the safest places on Earth as long as no one takes on passengers once the outbreak begins.
37. If there are reports of zombification on the ground and anyone on the plane acts strange, convince the air marshal to kill them.
38. There is no shame in thermonuclear devices sanitizing cities.
39. Food and water is a must. Canned foods are especially important.
40. Always have a Bug Out Bag ready with essentials.
41. If you must let anyone into your hiding place, strip them naked and if they have anything resembling a bite, shoot them in the head.
42. If anyone dies of even natural causes, dispose of the body quickly and efficiently.
43. If you board up the windows, pound spikes through the boards facing outwards, that way it acts as another deterrent.
44. If inside a building with multiple floors, block each floor stairwell with furniture, etc.
45. Stock up on batteries, flashlights, and especially those flashlight/radio combos that only need turned. Medical kits are a must.
46. Lightweight guns still have stopping power with headshots. I'd rather have a glock with all that extra ammo difference in weight, than a big heavy desert eagle.
47. Chainsaws suck; they are heavy, bulky, the noise attracts zombies, and you can't waste the fuel.
48. Rocket launchers/grenades...not gonna help. Okay? Fragmentation does jack against the undead that don't feel pain.
49. Automatic weapons are a waste of ammunition.
50. Don't flee on the highway. Gridlock literally kills.
51. So you're so badass and you have a lot of weapons...one question...if you're not staying put, how do you take all these weapons with you?
52. Throwing knives can work, if thrown with sufficient force into the skull.
53. You're probably not gonna grab a cop gun laying around. It's empty, he got devoured because he ran out of bullets.
54. Wal-Mart, bad idea. All those people, all that gridlock, one big buffet for the zombies.
55. Never go to the rescue center, it's always filled with the bitten.
56. Never trust the rescue center defenses to hold even if its not filled with the bitten.
57. The mall...see point on Wal-Mart.
58. Smaller stores like Rite Aid or GNC would likely be better. Less entrances, food, water, and medical supplies.
59. Avoid the hospitals, they're going to be overrun amongst the first locations.
60. Don't make fun of the golf clubbers, they can bash skulls in.
61. The molotov cocktail is actually a good weapon to slow enemies.
62. Crowbars are a tool.
63. Crowbars are too heavy to use as an effective anti-zombie weapon.
64. Soccer or Football fields are death traps.
65. Yeah yeah the undead stink and you decide hygiene isn't important...well you might want to keep up as best you can before you're a smorgisbord for bugs and bacteria.
66. Remember, zombies aren't the only thing that can kill you in an outbreak.
67. If you try to abort that baby, someone will blow your head off. The human race needs every life it can.
68. Don't do drugs. No one needs you running through the zombie infested streets trying to get a fix.
69. If you find this nice military camp with all men and no women, and you have women in your party, don't stop there.
70. Breaking animals out of labs is bad.
71. The environment isn't going to suffer as bad as it has been, feel free to cut down trees for supplies, plant crops, etc. if you can.
72. Don't be surprised if zombies are hiding in the wheat field though.
73. Cavalry sabers are back in if you have horses and kevlar leg armor.
74. If the President of the USA is in the same room as you, you're safer than anyone else on the planet.
75. Always save that last bullet for yourself.
All I really need to know about Zombies...
1. Do not bend over to check the prone body.
2. Don't run into the basement.
3. If a person runs after a pet or loved one, shut the door and leave them to die.
4. Don't try to run and escape if you still have lots of supplies.
5. Never move at night.
6. Shoot anyone who panics.
7. Don't become attached emotionally to people.
8. Melee weapons never run out of ammunition.
9. Forearm and leg kevlar is a must.
10. Razor wire is your friend.
11. Never go into a major city.
12. In the event you did number eleven and are somehow still alive, fortify high up in a building.
13. Never say "I don't believe that crap".
14. Never allow yourself to feel emotion when shooting a zombie; it won't show the same for you.
15. When commandeering a vehicle, makie it one with full gas tank.
16. Ration your food.
17. Aim for the head.
18. Running away is the better part of valor.
19. If these are new running zombies, never miss a headshot.
20. If there's time, hit the library for books on skills you'll need like gardening, mechanical repair, etc.
21. There is no shame in looting gun stores when the owner is zombified.
22. Remember what you want when choosing a sword. A katana may look cool, but if you forget its more of a slashing weapon for angles, its not gonna help when stuck in zombie body.
23. If an evil corporation is behind it, you will never win.
24. Don't shoot people who can talk, that are armed, and identify themselves as rescuers.
25. But hold the gun to their heads until you see some I.D., darn marauders.
26. Fellow humans can't be trusted.
27. Pungi pits, barbed wire, moving cars to form walls, are all good ideas.
28. Landmines never go out of style.
29. Bows and arrows are long range too.
30. Soaking streets in flammable materials for a well placed gunshot later is good. You may end up burning hundreds to thousands of zombies to ash.
31. Make sure to leave yourself a way out from the fire in the event of 30.
32. If you can rally the military, you can secure one city.
33. Zombies cannot bite through the armor of an M1 Abrams Main Battle Tank.
34. Morality goes goodbye, if you have a helicopter gunship above a crowd of thousands of zombies, mow them down with the missile pods and gattling guns.
35. You cannot seal your borders.
36. Cruise ships, aircraft carriers, submarines, are the safest places on Earth as long as no one takes on passengers once the outbreak begins.
37. If there are reports of zombification on the ground and anyone on the plane acts strange, convince the air marshal to kill them.
38. There is no shame in thermonuclear devices sanitizing cities.
39. Food and water is a must. Canned foods are especially important.
40. Always have a Bug Out Bag ready with essentials.
41. If you must let anyone into your hiding place, strip them naked and if they have anything resembling a bite, shoot them in the head.
42. If anyone dies of even natural causes, dispose of the body quickly and efficiently.
43. If you board up the windows, pound spikes through the boards facing outwards, that way it acts as another deterrent.
44. If inside a building with multiple floors, block each floor stairwell with furniture, etc.
45. Stock up on batteries, flashlights, and especially those flashlight/radio combos that only need turned. Medical kits are a must.
46. Lightweight guns still have stopping power with headshots. I'd rather have a glock with all that extra ammo difference in weight, than a big heavy desert eagle.
47. Chainsaws suck; they are heavy, bulky, the noise attracts zombies, and you can't waste the fuel.
48. Rocket launchers/grenades...not gonna help. Okay? Fragmentation does jack against the undead that don't feel pain.
49. Automatic weapons are a waste of ammunition.
50. Don't flee on the highway. Gridlock literally kills.
51. So you're so badass and you have a lot of weapons...one question...if you're not staying put, how do you take all these weapons with you?
52. Throwing knives can work, if thrown with sufficient force into the skull.
53. You're probably not gonna grab a cop gun laying around. It's empty, he got devoured because he ran out of bullets.
54. Wal-Mart, bad idea. All those people, all that gridlock, one big buffet for the zombies.
55. Never go to the rescue center, it's always filled with the bitten.
56. Never trust the rescue center defenses to hold even if its not filled with the bitten.
57. The mall...see point on Wal-Mart.
58. Smaller stores like Rite Aid or GNC would likely be better. Less entrances, food, water, and medical supplies.
59. Avoid the hospitals, they're going to be overrun amongst the first locations.
60. Don't make fun of the golf clubbers, they can bash skulls in.
61. The molotov cocktail is actually a good weapon to slow enemies.
62. Crowbars are a tool.
63. Crowbars are too heavy to use as an effective anti-zombie weapon.
64. Soccer or Football fields are death traps.
65. Yeah yeah the undead stink and you decide hygiene isn't important...well you might want to keep up as best you can before you're a smorgisbord for bugs and bacteria.
66. Remember, zombies aren't the only thing that can kill you in an outbreak.
67. If you try to abort that baby, someone will blow your head off. The human race needs every life it can.
68. Don't do drugs. No one needs you running through the zombie infested streets trying to get a fix.
69. If you find this nice military camp with all men and no women, and you have women in your party, don't stop there.
70. Breaking animals out of labs is bad.
71. The environment isn't going to suffer as bad as it has been, feel free to cut down trees for supplies, plant crops, etc. if you can.
72. Don't be surprised if zombies are hiding in the wheat field though.
73. Cavalry sabers are back in if you have horses and kevlar leg armor.
74. If the President of the USA is in the same room as you, you're safer than anyone else on the planet.
75. Always save that last bullet for yourself.