Trek fic: If you want it, take it; Pike/McCoy/Kirk NC-17

[zauzat]

Title: If you want it, take it
Beta: as ever, the lovely imachar
Warnings : Dubious consent. Mild D/s.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing/Characters: Pike/Kirk/McCoy from ST:AOS
Word Count: about 10,000

Summary: Set on the Enterprise as they limp home after defeating Nero. Pike's behaving very strangely and Jim comes up with a solution that Bones doesn't approve of.

Comments

[morganstuart]

Okay, I should be working at the moment, but I wanted to take a quick break, so I'm back to your glorious fics. And, oh my, this is indeed glorious. I absolutely love the contrast between the "under the influence" Pike (who is still enough himself to be humiliated at his own condition and willing to fight through it alone, but otherwise clearly impaired and not to blame) and the toxin-free Pike, whose keen insights into these two men and his fierce desire to do the right thing by them are breathtakingly rendered. I actually got a bit teary at the end, imagining Pike stroking Leonard's hair; the affection there and the relief that these two finally get it, that what might've been a disaster in this bed has been turned into a new chance for each of these younger men to get what he needs... it's just beautiful.

You've also put your fingers on Kirk's issues and McCoy's self-recriminations perfectly. Just gorgeous.

Most of all, I love Pike telling them to report him, then calling Jim on saying it's really "just sex" with either of them, but especially McCoy.

Pike's the picture of dignity despite all the indignities he's suffered, and he's leading by example here at the end, not shrugging off what just happened or descending into useless self-loathing, but genuinely trying to do right, to better these men by freeing them from the trap into which they've put themselves and allowing each to fulfill the other.

In short, I sort of want to punch my fist into the air in triumph at this story. Thank you.

PS. Edited to add:
I really, really love the depth you've given Kirk here, BTW. It's easy to see the hidden depths (and the wealth of regrets) in Bones, but you've also shown how much more there is to Jim. He's the one who realizes how badly Pike is hurting (despite the lovely blow job) and exhorts McCoy to help, to touch him; he may have daddy issues and he may have wanted to go down on Pike for ages, but that was sheer empathy and compassion talking, and McCoy's shame at waiting so long once he realized how he could alleviate Pike's suffering just underscores how sensitive Jim had been. Also, Jim hides behinds jokes and smartass comments until it's truly important. I love that when Pike confronts him at the end about his feelings for McCoy, he has no comeback. He knows when to go silent, or to respond with an answer that isn't an answer. He knows when he hears truth about himself. Beautifully done.

[zauzat]

Oh, thank you so much for the wonderfully long comment (which I particularly enjoyed, as this story got so little love that I was a bit disheartened by it). I really enjoy the challenge of trying to write complex characters - good people behaving badly for reasons, and/or battling to live up to their potential, and I don't find it easy to do. So to hear that so much of what I hoped to convey in this fic came across to you as a reader is enormously encouraging!