here goes reality...
I've been staying at my parents place in Burnaby for the last week, and will be for the next week and a half as well. Before that I was in St Pauls hospital for 10 days of IV antibiotics. I'm on home IV now, which is why I'm at my parents. My house is too dirty, loud, and full of my four housemates plus whichever friends they have over. Just how I love it. But not good for trying to be sterile enough for IV drugs and for me to not feel self conscious with a fukn IV pole by my side and also not good for having so little energy...
My mum cooks and cleans and does laundry... She also sits with me when I'm attached to my pole and understands when I'm a bitch to her that it's just general frustration, not personal. At my parents house there are always 'strays', ESL students who live here and get fed and laundry done while they study english at some school downtown for 1 - whatever amount of months they signed up for. They're perfectly nice and I know it's not fair but I kind of resent them being here. Especially when I'm here because I'm sick. It's kind of my mum's job. But most people's jobs don't interfere with others' personal lives.
I've been going in to work a few hours each day. I am so so lucky to have a job that can and does allow for this sort of thing ! I've told a few people what's going on but not many know it's because I have CF (that is why, in case you didn't know, which you probably didn't seeing as I've rarely told anyone).
I have been in hospital on IV antibiotics before. But this is my 1st time on home IV. In some ways it's harder because in hospital you don't have to do anything at all, they bring you food and and antibiotics at the right times and even pills to make it all go away if you want... Also it's easier to explain. If someone's in hospital they're obviously sick. If someone's on home IV, well what is that and what is it for and if you can go around like normal just with a scarf on your arm, can't you come out to my show/for drinks/to my party/over for tea. I can make exceptions but mostly no, I can't, because I feel like shit and would rather spend my 3 hours energy per day at work because my job is really important to me and all I really have ever wanted and worked for is a career, and so that is my priority even though 3 hours a day is not going to cut it... yeah it's more complicated to explain, not an idea most people ever have to become familiar with.
I have been telling people what's going more this time around than ever before. It feels good. The occasional person is a dick or insensitive but most of my friends are being really supportive and loving. Especially Mike, my boyfriend. He never bats an eyelid, just comforts me and helps me figure out how to deal with it all...
I don't know if anyone really still reads this journal. I'm going to to join the LJ CF community and contact with people I don't know in real life and will never meet because we will infect each other if we do. I can't keep this my own secret anymore and I need to know other people who're dealing with this, because I don't know a single other person with CF.
There was a girl called Eva who died a year or so ago and I'm reading her blog right from the start. 65redroses on here. This post, this 'coming out' is in part thanks to her. It's not easy.
My mum cooks and cleans and does laundry... She also sits with me when I'm attached to my pole and understands when I'm a bitch to her that it's just general frustration, not personal. At my parents house there are always 'strays', ESL students who live here and get fed and laundry done while they study english at some school downtown for 1 - whatever amount of months they signed up for. They're perfectly nice and I know it's not fair but I kind of resent them being here. Especially when I'm here because I'm sick. It's kind of my mum's job. But most people's jobs don't interfere with others' personal lives.
I've been going in to work a few hours each day. I am so so lucky to have a job that can and does allow for this sort of thing ! I've told a few people what's going on but not many know it's because I have CF (that is why, in case you didn't know, which you probably didn't seeing as I've rarely told anyone).
I have been in hospital on IV antibiotics before. But this is my 1st time on home IV. In some ways it's harder because in hospital you don't have to do anything at all, they bring you food and and antibiotics at the right times and even pills to make it all go away if you want... Also it's easier to explain. If someone's in hospital they're obviously sick. If someone's on home IV, well what is that and what is it for and if you can go around like normal just with a scarf on your arm, can't you come out to my show/for drinks/to my party/over for tea. I can make exceptions but mostly no, I can't, because I feel like shit and would rather spend my 3 hours energy per day at work because my job is really important to me and all I really have ever wanted and worked for is a career, and so that is my priority even though 3 hours a day is not going to cut it... yeah it's more complicated to explain, not an idea most people ever have to become familiar with.
I have been telling people what's going more this time around than ever before. It feels good. The occasional person is a dick or insensitive but most of my friends are being really supportive and loving. Especially Mike, my boyfriend. He never bats an eyelid, just comforts me and helps me figure out how to deal with it all...
I don't know if anyone really still reads this journal. I'm going to to join the LJ CF community and contact with people I don't know in real life and will never meet because we will infect each other if we do. I can't keep this my own secret anymore and I need to know other people who're dealing with this, because I don't know a single other person with CF.
There was a girl called Eva who died a year or so ago and I'm reading her blog right from the start. 65redroses on here. This post, this 'coming out' is in part thanks to her. It's not easy.