~I have a cat poster.
Ultramega Ok! recording!
LOKI - Beatmania - SpringSpring
Naoki - Dance Dance Revolution - Brilliant2U (Goggles Mix)
RANDO: - Dance Dance Revolution - bRiLLi4N7 2 R4VE (NuR4VE Bre4kz-Groove Mix)
Dj Mokram - Dynamite Headdy - Another Try (partial)
Papaya - Dance Dance Revolution - Operator
Shyguy - Then Suddenly (Almighty MIX)
Ugh couldn't get my thoughts together for this one, and there are a bunch of stupid technical errors. Another Try started glitching halfway through and Operator cuts off a bit abruptly, but I trimmed/edited most of it so it's not as jarring. Still frustrating though. BLAH. Well you just gotta move on.
BUT ON THE TOPIC OF MUSIC it's been a pretty awesome week or so on the OCR front for me!
First off, a Katamari Damacy remix! I LOVE the soundtrack of Katamari Damacy so much you guys you don't even know. If you never played it YOU REALLY SHOULD BECAUSE IT IS SUCH AN AWESOME GAME AAAAA but anyway this remix is great, it's just a really lovely orchestral rendition and aaa i love these themes.
Then there was a new Phoenix Wright remix! You may know by now how much I hoard remixes from these games and yesssss it covers the Cornered theme and aaaa I love that theme so much. IT HAS SO MUCH GREAT ENERGY
I did see a commenter somewhere, I think on youtube maybe? Who was all WHY NOT REMIX SOMETHING FROM APOLLO JUSTICE WHY KEEP DOING THE SAME SONG OVER AND OVER and while I do agree that some songs from AJ would be AMAZING (I would LOVE Klavier's theme), is there like some secret stockpile of Cornered remixes I don't know about? AM I OUT OF THE LOOP? I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS
The real big one for me though was A QUEST FOR GLORY REMIX!!!! I don't have enough exclamation points for this man you don't even know. When I saw QFG in the mix title, I let out this huge gasp like I'd seen a ghost. I WAS THAT EXCITED TO HEAR THIS. And it's a remix for Erana's Peace too and hnnnnngh. HNNNNNNGH. I swear listening to this sometimes it's just like, all my love for this game and this series and all my memories crash in on me and it's sort of overwhelming. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT QUEST FOR GLORY YOU GUYS it's really hard to even put into words. BUT I LOVE THIS REMIX BASICALLY. God I really hope more people remix other Sierra games. The remixer for this one didn't even actually play QFG! They can't be that obscure, right?
Anyway, some of you might be wondering what's happening in If I Pay Thee Not in Gold! Well before I get into that, I briefly went looking for an e-book version so I could copy/paste the excerpts instead of writing them out from the actual book, and while I didn't find the e-book, I did find a newsletter where Piers Anthony wrote about the book!
When I agreed to do If I Pay Thee Not In Gold there collaboratively, it was to be the first of a series. But when my collaborator dumped an insultingly sloppy manuscript on me-apparently she was angry at my assumption that I know how to write Piers Anthony style better than she know how to write Piers Anthony style-I cleaned it up as well as I could, a real headache, and told the publisher I would not do another. That marked the turning point in our relations. The publisher paid the collaborator more than $55,000, and paid me $400. And subsequently stopped sending me statements at all. The publisher had originally estimated, and stated so in the contract, that it expected to pay me, as the senior writer, on the order of $100,000. Obviously I would not have made the deal if I had known it would be for peanuts; money aside, the experience was already bad enough. Evidently the books started to be cooked the moment the publisher felt it didn't need me any more. Not to put too fine a point on this, but I don't think the collaborator's contribution was worth well over a hundred times what mine was, and the failure even to send statements was an open breach of contract. I am not a good writer to stiff. When my agent's repeated queries got nowhere, I acted directly, with a high powered New York auditor backed by the same lawyer I had used before to make TOR honor its own deal. Well, it has now been over four months, and the BAEN is still stonewalling the audit. Preliminary figures indicate that I am owed from $20,000 to $55,000, but these have to be confirmed, and the publisher is not providing the necessary accounts. I suspect it will take a court order to blast them out, and another to force payment actually to be made, with the threat of punitive damages. So the issue is not yet settled, but I think enough shows here to be a warning to other writers who may consider doing business with this publisher.
HARSH DISS ON MERCEDES LACKEY you know i don't think a guy who wrote about a guy having "CONSENSUAL" sex with a five year old that was beautiful and heartwarming is really in a position to throw stones about other people's writing. just saying.
Anyway where were we in this? Oh right, Xylina and Faro were trying to sell their FILTHY HOVEL so they can get a better house and stop being so disgustingly poor. SO POOR YOU GUYS. From the basic descriptions of the houses in this, Mazonia doesn't seem too far off from Ancient Rome, so just set that in your mind's eye. Also apparently Xylina's mom's name is Elibet Harmonia, so it's Xylina Harmonia! lol.
Anyway her and the realtor talk about selling her house, and Xylina (really Faro told her to because he's so smart) suggests making her old house into a tavern since yada yada yada it's not important. What I did find somewhat interesting though was that the tavern would sell Conjured beer, meaning the beer would vanish in a day. Apparently hangovers aren't so bad that way? And if the freedmen caused trouble the bartender could just banish the conjured alcohol and make them instantly sober. Is that how that works? Could Mazonites just do as much cocaine as they want and then banish it when they feel like going back to work? If someone OD's on conjured drugs, can they just banish the drugs and fix it?
They go to her new house yada yada the old tenants kept dogs, so I guess Mazonites have pets. The house is a fixer-upper but Xylina's super excited to get it anyway hurray! After they close the deal she turns to Faro to validate how she handled it. He brings up that it doesn't seem very safe.
She dismissed that with a shrug. "I can't imagine who would want to break in here," she said. "It isn't as if we have any real valuables to steal. And what profit would there be in attacking me?"
He looked at her strangely, as if he could very well think of a reason someone would want to attack her, but he didn't share it.
WHATEVER COULD THAT MEAN? Faro asks if he can take in her things and she says she feels guilty doing it because it's such a lowly task. HE'S SO WONDERFUL HOW COULD I TREAT HIM LIKE A SLAVE SLAVES ARE PEOPLE TOO. Instead she'll get a kitchen slave to do it when she can afford it.
As she said this, she couldn't help feeling a heady sense of exhilaration at the very thought. As soon as she could afford a kitchen-slave. Not "if," but "when." She never could have dreamed of that before.
SLAVERY IS BAD sometimes.
"I am also going to see while I'm there if I can't find someone in need of a scribe--a freedman, perhaps. There is no sense in wasting time in getting employment for my skills. I am valuable, little mistress; I would be remiss if I did not begin to augment your income at once."
This man was incredible; he seemed to take more care of her than she did of herself. She smiled and shook her head.
I'M JUST A WOMAN HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF DURRRRRR
Faro tells her to lock the gate and goes off to do whatever. Xylina stays and cleans the house. There's a mention that all the housework she used to do developed her arm muscles so she could throw the rods in the arena. Yeah right. They also mention that women shouldn't be seen doing housework because then people will think they are POOOOOOOORRR.
Xylina ponders how to make money, mostly by trying to think of ways to sell Faro's services to other people.
And speaking of performing--what of the theater? Could she, perhaps, put on some kind of extravaganza for paid ticket holders? Could she have him make a recitation while hoisting weights about his head or something of the sort? A silly idea, perhaps, but sillier ideas had succeeded in the past.
This really isn't helping my mental image of Faro as a 1890's strongman in a leotard with a big handlebar mustache.
So Xylina sits around the house and thinks about her house and what to do and cleaning whatever SHE'S SO HAPPY and she goes out in the garden and suddenly a snake popped out!!!! However she summons a plate between her and the snake, so it hits that instead of bites her, then she pushes the plate over on it and puts a weight on it. A PANSNAKE IF YOU WILL. Xylina marvels at this because apparently there are no snakes in the city because there are vermin-catcher slaves armed with ferrets that get rid of them (no cats?).
Someone must have brought it here and set it loose.
Someone wanted her dead.
But who, and almost as importantly, why?
COULD IT BE THE QUEEN WHO SAID SHE WANTED XYLINA DEAD A CHAPTER OR TWO AGO????? we're on a rollercoaster mystery ride now! Later someone puts chickens (guinea-fowl) in her garden who eat everything. These are some high stakes. Xylina angsts that IT'S HER CURSE AGAIN and Faro's all OH SILLY WOMAN IT'S JUST SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU AND WANTS YOU DEAD IT'S NOT A CURSE
Xylina ~takes heart~ in his advice and vows not to let this MYSTERIOUS PERSON get her down anymore. They spend way too long talking about how they're going to deal without a garden for food (they're just going to get saplings somewhere else) which mostly seems like an excuse for Xylina to throw out an obvious suggestion and Faro to tell her how smart she is.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME THEY HAVE A SHOW TO DO since Xylina's plan to showcase Faro writing apparently worked out.
"What are you going to do?" she asked. "I need to know if I'm going to act properly as a foil for your performance. You know, I am sorry to be asking you to perform like some kind of trained dog--and that is exactly what they will think of you. I'm not very comfortable seeing you in that role, and I wish I didn't have to do this."
"I know," Faro replied, and his smile turned feral. "I honor you for that, little mistress. Well, since they are expecting a trained dog, I think we should give them a trained wolf instead. It will give them a feeling of threat--that if you were not there to restrain me, I would tear them to pieces."
The unbidden thought occurred to her, As he would, if he had the chance. The smile alone said it all. Xylina was under no illusions; Faro hated the Mazonites for what they had done to him.
Just in case you were wondering if Faro is still willing to rape people to death. Of course he is! But they'd deserve it because women are evil.
He honored only her, for seeing him as an intelligent being, for threating him as one. And perhaps for being a friend. She sensed, beneath his words, as they spoke of many things in the hours between dusk and bed-time, that he had been as lonely as she in his own way. He was just too different from the other men to have taken pleasure in the gossip and harem-politics, in the trifles of dress and status in the household. His mind ranged as far as the stars; confining it to the narrow rooms of the harem was as wrong as clipping a falcon's wings and making an ornamanent of him. If he had been a woman, she had no doubt that he would have been Queen by now.
DOUBLE MARY SUE ACROSS THE SKY
WOOAH OOOH OH OH OOOH it's so intense
He did not fit; neither did she. Perhaps that was why they were friends as well as mistress and slave. She could not see a slave without seeing the man beneath the livery, the human being. And she was only one step above slavery herself, having endured poverty for so long. Indeed, some slaves were better off than she had been, in the last year before her woman-trial.
being poor is just like being a slave ;_; sometimes it's even worse! you guys don't know what it's like.
Xylina offers to conjure the weights Faro will be lifting, but worries that maybe her SECRET ENEMY will be there and see how amazing she is and will renew her efforts to murder her go secret enemy.
"We learned one thing in our training as gladiators," he told her, his eyes darkening with unpleasant memories. "The one who loses his temper loses the fight. You saw for yourself how that was true, for if I had not lost my temper, I think I might have won even against you." He paused. "It is my habit to review my experiences, and I think that if I grabbed one of your rods from the air and hurled it instantly back at you, I might have scored. You must see that no other opponent ever has the chance to use your conjurations against you; you must be ready to abolish them the moment they leave your hands." He paused again, and she nodded, appreciating the advice.
You know if you look at it a certain way I actually won that fight.
Thanks for telling me how my innate magical powers (that you don't have) work, Faro, I'm too stupid to understand how to use them properly! Tee hee hee hee!
Xylina asks Faro if he's really sad that he lost the fight.
"At the time--yes," he said, after a moment of silence. "But now--" He shook his head. "I cannot say. If it had been anyone but you, I think I would rather have died. No, I would have died. I would have kept attacking until she was forced to kill me. You--were so different, I did not know how to react. Often I still don't. When you leaped onto my back, naked, and I felt your breasts and thights on my body, my will to fight faded, even before you conjured the wire at my neck." He gave her a crooked smile. "So now you know the great secret, little mistress."
So he had been aware of her body. She had not thought of that at the time. Her femininity had been a weapon. There was more, much more, unsaid between them. But she would not force him to say those things aloud.
"I only lost cause I was horny!"
So they do the party and it goes well, whatever, and they walk home in the streets at night.
[...] there were thieves, and vandals; there were also the gangs of slaves commanded by renegade women who would do anything for a price. More than one Mazonite had hired such gangs to work as much damage as possible to an enemy or rival. Xylina had seen one or two of those gangs on her own nocturnal expeditions, and had hidden herself in the shadows with her heart in her mouth, waiting for them to pass. She could have defended herself with conjurations, of course, but the shame of being discovered on the street at that time would have haunted her.
Nice priorities, Xylina.
Faro talks about how hard it was not to snap his tether and murder/rape everyone in the room, particularly since one of the women there happened to be his former owner (he doesn't call her former mistress because ONLY XYLINA DESERVES TO BE HIS MISTRESS AND RULE HIM NOW). Anyway he scared her good and pats himself on the back for it, he sure showed her. They have a good laugh about it and Xylina wonders if she's weird talking to a slave like he's a person, even tho her Mom talked to Marcus the same way. But before she can expound on that again (yawn) a bunch of thugs come out of nowhere and attack them! Five dudes and a lady with no weapons. Why?
For an ordinary man to be armed within the city was death--but a man might carry a stave or a staff, and although the law said that it must be of light, hollow material, easily broken, who was to say what that staff might truly be made of? Especially if it had been conjured and could be banished long before the City Guard arrived at the scene.
The legal system in Mazonia must be a mess. I feel bad for any Mazonite cops - they'll never find evidence that sticks (badum ching). Odds that this book will go into any detail about the legal system or government seem low.
Anyway the thugs attack. Xylina conjures Faro up a staff and then defends herself with her metal rod trick from before and throws some nets here and there. Also whacks a dude in the head with a rod. Eventually the MYSTERIOUS WOMAN runs off. Turns out that Faro and Xylina actually killed all five dudes. Oops! Faro promptly picks their pockets since they need the money, and Xylina nods and thinks yes that is a good point and robs them as well. Hurray!
She wondered if it troubled him that he had helped her to kill five men tonight whose only offense was that they had obeyed the orders of a woman. She was under no illusions; he had hated all women, and now he hated all but one. She had seen that carefully veiled hate in his eyes, heard it in his caustic wit, just one short step from insolence. Was he lying on his back, on that pallet, wondering if he should have spared their lives? Or did he simply feel that as tools of the woman who had owned them, they were as corrupt as she must be?
She knew how she felt about it; no one had forced the Mazonite to attack her, and there were laws governing the behavior of slaves. Any slave attacking a woman--regardless of whether that was something he had been ordered to do, or something he had decided to do on his own--would be put to death, instantly. Only in the arena, at either a woman-trial, or the rarer fighter's-challenge, could a slave do his best to kill a woman with no reprisals. They would have killed her; she had no compunction about killing them. After all, she had been trained by Marcus to know that one day, she would have to fight at least one man, and the odds were even that it would have been to the death. Every Mazonite knew that; those that entered the army spent their lives killing.
Those men had not really been men to her; they had been things. They were not like Marcus or Faro. If they had run, as their mistress had run, she would have let them live. They had not, she had not.
Killing a person ain't no big deal!
To be fair, they already killed three of them before their mistress ran away BUT HEY, DETAILS
This book really wants you to know how much Faro hates women.
The next morning Xylina wakes up and they boringly discuss what they should do for defense and get knives or whatever yada yada. She wonders how Faro knows so much about stuff, then remembers oh yeah, the arena. What can't Faro do!
They go on to meet another lady to arrange another show for money. This lady wants them to reenact their arena fight but Xylina thinks it would HURT FARO'S PRIDE TOO MUCH so she refuses. When they leave it turns out that Faro stole some cheese.
She smothered a fit of giggles. Faro, a sneak-thief? Who would ever have believed it? "How did you do that? Where did you learn such a thing?" she demanded.
"From one of the boys at the scribe school, when I was about nine, and was still small," he replied, "I was hungry all the time, and the boy claimed my growling stomach kept him awake at night. They never gave us enough time to eat our fill, and they never let us carry food away from the table. One of the other boys was the son of an entertainer, a dancer and conjurer; he taught us all how to filch and conceal food, and what foods were best for the purpose." His tone was light, and she caught a real smile lurking around the corners of his eyes and mouth. he obviously found her surprise quite amusing.
"Is there anything you don't know?" she asked, wondering yet again at the twist of fate that had brought them together, and led her to keep him after she had won him. For all of the horrible things that had happened to her, this--not only the ownership, but the friendship--made up for them. Next to Marcus, he was possibly the most wonderful person she had ever known. She would die if she had to do without him, she thought, suddenly. Die--or if they were right, and she had a terrible enemy, she would be killed.
I GUESS FARO REALLY DOES KNOW EVERYTHING!! Faro anticipates criticism for his Mary Sue-ness by saying there are things he can't do, like cook, sew, or clean. Also can't supervise others (??), can't garden, and isn't good with horses. WELL I'M CONVINCED.
For no reason that Xylina could fathom, the mare had decided that Faro looked like an enemy.
THE NEW HERO OF THE BOOK!
"The only horse I have ever seen hates me," he replied. "And she loves you. I can only conclude either that all horses hate me, or that she is a Mazonite to the core, and believes men should be beneath her hooves, making the pavement soft for her to walk upon."
HA HA, HILARIOUS! As if hearing my pleas, another band of thugs appears out of nowhere and tries to kill them, but I stopped before the conclusion of that THRILLING SCENE!! I anticipate another high bodycount.
I also posted this at dreamwidth with reluctant ambivalence. Comment here or there, don't matter to me!
LOKI - Beatmania - SpringSpring
Naoki - Dance Dance Revolution - Brilliant2U (Goggles Mix)
RANDO: - Dance Dance Revolution - bRiLLi4N7 2 R4VE (NuR4VE Bre4kz-Groove Mix)
Dj Mokram - Dynamite Headdy - Another Try (partial)
Papaya - Dance Dance Revolution - Operator
Shyguy - Then Suddenly (Almighty MIX)
Ugh couldn't get my thoughts together for this one, and there are a bunch of stupid technical errors. Another Try started glitching halfway through and Operator cuts off a bit abruptly, but I trimmed/edited most of it so it's not as jarring. Still frustrating though. BLAH. Well you just gotta move on.
BUT ON THE TOPIC OF MUSIC it's been a pretty awesome week or so on the OCR front for me!
First off, a Katamari Damacy remix! I LOVE the soundtrack of Katamari Damacy so much you guys you don't even know. If you never played it YOU REALLY SHOULD BECAUSE IT IS SUCH AN AWESOME GAME AAAAA but anyway this remix is great, it's just a really lovely orchestral rendition and aaa i love these themes.
Then there was a new Phoenix Wright remix! You may know by now how much I hoard remixes from these games and yesssss it covers the Cornered theme and aaaa I love that theme so much. IT HAS SO MUCH GREAT ENERGY
I did see a commenter somewhere, I think on youtube maybe? Who was all WHY NOT REMIX SOMETHING FROM APOLLO JUSTICE WHY KEEP DOING THE SAME SONG OVER AND OVER and while I do agree that some songs from AJ would be AMAZING (I would LOVE Klavier's theme), is there like some secret stockpile of Cornered remixes I don't know about? AM I OUT OF THE LOOP? I NEED TO KNOW THESE THINGS
The real big one for me though was A QUEST FOR GLORY REMIX!!!! I don't have enough exclamation points for this man you don't even know. When I saw QFG in the mix title, I let out this huge gasp like I'd seen a ghost. I WAS THAT EXCITED TO HEAR THIS. And it's a remix for Erana's Peace too and hnnnnngh. HNNNNNNGH. I swear listening to this sometimes it's just like, all my love for this game and this series and all my memories crash in on me and it's sort of overwhelming. I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT QUEST FOR GLORY YOU GUYS it's really hard to even put into words. BUT I LOVE THIS REMIX BASICALLY. God I really hope more people remix other Sierra games. The remixer for this one didn't even actually play QFG! They can't be that obscure, right?
Anyway, some of you might be wondering what's happening in If I Pay Thee Not in Gold! Well before I get into that, I briefly went looking for an e-book version so I could copy/paste the excerpts instead of writing them out from the actual book, and while I didn't find the e-book, I did find a newsletter where Piers Anthony wrote about the book!
When I agreed to do If I Pay Thee Not In Gold there collaboratively, it was to be the first of a series. But when my collaborator dumped an insultingly sloppy manuscript on me-apparently she was angry at my assumption that I know how to write Piers Anthony style better than she know how to write Piers Anthony style-I cleaned it up as well as I could, a real headache, and told the publisher I would not do another. That marked the turning point in our relations. The publisher paid the collaborator more than $55,000, and paid me $400. And subsequently stopped sending me statements at all. The publisher had originally estimated, and stated so in the contract, that it expected to pay me, as the senior writer, on the order of $100,000. Obviously I would not have made the deal if I had known it would be for peanuts; money aside, the experience was already bad enough. Evidently the books started to be cooked the moment the publisher felt it didn't need me any more. Not to put too fine a point on this, but I don't think the collaborator's contribution was worth well over a hundred times what mine was, and the failure even to send statements was an open breach of contract. I am not a good writer to stiff. When my agent's repeated queries got nowhere, I acted directly, with a high powered New York auditor backed by the same lawyer I had used before to make TOR honor its own deal. Well, it has now been over four months, and the BAEN is still stonewalling the audit. Preliminary figures indicate that I am owed from $20,000 to $55,000, but these have to be confirmed, and the publisher is not providing the necessary accounts. I suspect it will take a court order to blast them out, and another to force payment actually to be made, with the threat of punitive damages. So the issue is not yet settled, but I think enough shows here to be a warning to other writers who may consider doing business with this publisher.
HARSH DISS ON MERCEDES LACKEY you know i don't think a guy who wrote about a guy having "CONSENSUAL" sex with a five year old that was beautiful and heartwarming is really in a position to throw stones about other people's writing. just saying.
Anyway where were we in this? Oh right, Xylina and Faro were trying to sell their FILTHY HOVEL so they can get a better house and stop being so disgustingly poor. SO POOR YOU GUYS. From the basic descriptions of the houses in this, Mazonia doesn't seem too far off from Ancient Rome, so just set that in your mind's eye. Also apparently Xylina's mom's name is Elibet Harmonia, so it's Xylina Harmonia! lol.
Anyway her and the realtor talk about selling her house, and Xylina (really Faro told her to because he's so smart) suggests making her old house into a tavern since yada yada yada it's not important. What I did find somewhat interesting though was that the tavern would sell Conjured beer, meaning the beer would vanish in a day. Apparently hangovers aren't so bad that way? And if the freedmen caused trouble the bartender could just banish the conjured alcohol and make them instantly sober. Is that how that works? Could Mazonites just do as much cocaine as they want and then banish it when they feel like going back to work? If someone OD's on conjured drugs, can they just banish the drugs and fix it?
They go to her new house yada yada the old tenants kept dogs, so I guess Mazonites have pets. The house is a fixer-upper but Xylina's super excited to get it anyway hurray! After they close the deal she turns to Faro to validate how she handled it. He brings up that it doesn't seem very safe.
She dismissed that with a shrug. "I can't imagine who would want to break in here," she said. "It isn't as if we have any real valuables to steal. And what profit would there be in attacking me?"
He looked at her strangely, as if he could very well think of a reason someone would want to attack her, but he didn't share it.
WHATEVER COULD THAT MEAN? Faro asks if he can take in her things and she says she feels guilty doing it because it's such a lowly task. HE'S SO WONDERFUL HOW COULD I TREAT HIM LIKE A SLAVE SLAVES ARE PEOPLE TOO. Instead she'll get a kitchen slave to do it when she can afford it.
As she said this, she couldn't help feeling a heady sense of exhilaration at the very thought. As soon as she could afford a kitchen-slave. Not "if," but "when." She never could have dreamed of that before.
SLAVERY IS BAD sometimes.
"I am also going to see while I'm there if I can't find someone in need of a scribe--a freedman, perhaps. There is no sense in wasting time in getting employment for my skills. I am valuable, little mistress; I would be remiss if I did not begin to augment your income at once."
This man was incredible; he seemed to take more care of her than she did of herself. She smiled and shook her head.
I'M JUST A WOMAN HOW CAN I BE EXPECTED TO TAKE CARE OF MYSELF DURRRRRR
Faro tells her to lock the gate and goes off to do whatever. Xylina stays and cleans the house. There's a mention that all the housework she used to do developed her arm muscles so she could throw the rods in the arena. Yeah right. They also mention that women shouldn't be seen doing housework because then people will think they are POOOOOOOORRR.
Xylina ponders how to make money, mostly by trying to think of ways to sell Faro's services to other people.
And speaking of performing--what of the theater? Could she, perhaps, put on some kind of extravaganza for paid ticket holders? Could she have him make a recitation while hoisting weights about his head or something of the sort? A silly idea, perhaps, but sillier ideas had succeeded in the past.
This really isn't helping my mental image of Faro as a 1890's strongman in a leotard with a big handlebar mustache.
So Xylina sits around the house and thinks about her house and what to do and cleaning whatever SHE'S SO HAPPY and she goes out in the garden and suddenly a snake popped out!!!! However she summons a plate between her and the snake, so it hits that instead of bites her, then she pushes the plate over on it and puts a weight on it. A PANSNAKE IF YOU WILL. Xylina marvels at this because apparently there are no snakes in the city because there are vermin-catcher slaves armed with ferrets that get rid of them (no cats?).
Someone must have brought it here and set it loose.
Someone wanted her dead.
But who, and almost as importantly, why?
COULD IT BE THE QUEEN WHO SAID SHE WANTED XYLINA DEAD A CHAPTER OR TWO AGO????? we're on a rollercoaster mystery ride now! Later someone puts chickens (guinea-fowl) in her garden who eat everything. These are some high stakes. Xylina angsts that IT'S HER CURSE AGAIN and Faro's all OH SILLY WOMAN IT'S JUST SOMEONE WHO HATES YOU AND WANTS YOU DEAD IT'S NOT A CURSE
Xylina ~takes heart~ in his advice and vows not to let this MYSTERIOUS PERSON get her down anymore. They spend way too long talking about how they're going to deal without a garden for food (they're just going to get saplings somewhere else) which mostly seems like an excuse for Xylina to throw out an obvious suggestion and Faro to tell her how smart she is.
BUT IN THE MEANTIME THEY HAVE A SHOW TO DO since Xylina's plan to showcase Faro writing apparently worked out.
"What are you going to do?" she asked. "I need to know if I'm going to act properly as a foil for your performance. You know, I am sorry to be asking you to perform like some kind of trained dog--and that is exactly what they will think of you. I'm not very comfortable seeing you in that role, and I wish I didn't have to do this."
"I know," Faro replied, and his smile turned feral. "I honor you for that, little mistress. Well, since they are expecting a trained dog, I think we should give them a trained wolf instead. It will give them a feeling of threat--that if you were not there to restrain me, I would tear them to pieces."
The unbidden thought occurred to her, As he would, if he had the chance. The smile alone said it all. Xylina was under no illusions; Faro hated the Mazonites for what they had done to him.
Just in case you were wondering if Faro is still willing to rape people to death. Of course he is! But they'd deserve it because women are evil.
He honored only her, for seeing him as an intelligent being, for threating him as one. And perhaps for being a friend. She sensed, beneath his words, as they spoke of many things in the hours between dusk and bed-time, that he had been as lonely as she in his own way. He was just too different from the other men to have taken pleasure in the gossip and harem-politics, in the trifles of dress and status in the household. His mind ranged as far as the stars; confining it to the narrow rooms of the harem was as wrong as clipping a falcon's wings and making an ornamanent of him. If he had been a woman, she had no doubt that he would have been Queen by now.
DOUBLE MARY SUE ACROSS THE SKY
WOOAH OOOH OH OH OOOH it's so intense
He did not fit; neither did she. Perhaps that was why they were friends as well as mistress and slave. She could not see a slave without seeing the man beneath the livery, the human being. And she was only one step above slavery herself, having endured poverty for so long. Indeed, some slaves were better off than she had been, in the last year before her woman-trial.
being poor is just like being a slave ;_; sometimes it's even worse! you guys don't know what it's like.
Xylina offers to conjure the weights Faro will be lifting, but worries that maybe her SECRET ENEMY will be there and see how amazing she is and will renew her efforts to murder her go secret enemy.
"We learned one thing in our training as gladiators," he told her, his eyes darkening with unpleasant memories. "The one who loses his temper loses the fight. You saw for yourself how that was true, for if I had not lost my temper, I think I might have won even against you." He paused. "It is my habit to review my experiences, and I think that if I grabbed one of your rods from the air and hurled it instantly back at you, I might have scored. You must see that no other opponent ever has the chance to use your conjurations against you; you must be ready to abolish them the moment they leave your hands." He paused again, and she nodded, appreciating the advice.
You know if you look at it a certain way I actually won that fight.
Thanks for telling me how my innate magical powers (that you don't have) work, Faro, I'm too stupid to understand how to use them properly! Tee hee hee hee!
Xylina asks Faro if he's really sad that he lost the fight.
"At the time--yes," he said, after a moment of silence. "But now--" He shook his head. "I cannot say. If it had been anyone but you, I think I would rather have died. No, I would have died. I would have kept attacking until she was forced to kill me. You--were so different, I did not know how to react. Often I still don't. When you leaped onto my back, naked, and I felt your breasts and thights on my body, my will to fight faded, even before you conjured the wire at my neck." He gave her a crooked smile. "So now you know the great secret, little mistress."
So he had been aware of her body. She had not thought of that at the time. Her femininity had been a weapon. There was more, much more, unsaid between them. But she would not force him to say those things aloud.
"I only lost cause I was horny!"
So they do the party and it goes well, whatever, and they walk home in the streets at night.
[...] there were thieves, and vandals; there were also the gangs of slaves commanded by renegade women who would do anything for a price. More than one Mazonite had hired such gangs to work as much damage as possible to an enemy or rival. Xylina had seen one or two of those gangs on her own nocturnal expeditions, and had hidden herself in the shadows with her heart in her mouth, waiting for them to pass. She could have defended herself with conjurations, of course, but the shame of being discovered on the street at that time would have haunted her.
Nice priorities, Xylina.
Faro talks about how hard it was not to snap his tether and murder/rape everyone in the room, particularly since one of the women there happened to be his former owner (he doesn't call her former mistress because ONLY XYLINA DESERVES TO BE HIS MISTRESS AND RULE HIM NOW). Anyway he scared her good and pats himself on the back for it, he sure showed her. They have a good laugh about it and Xylina wonders if she's weird talking to a slave like he's a person, even tho her Mom talked to Marcus the same way. But before she can expound on that again (yawn) a bunch of thugs come out of nowhere and attack them! Five dudes and a lady with no weapons. Why?
For an ordinary man to be armed within the city was death--but a man might carry a stave or a staff, and although the law said that it must be of light, hollow material, easily broken, who was to say what that staff might truly be made of? Especially if it had been conjured and could be banished long before the City Guard arrived at the scene.
The legal system in Mazonia must be a mess. I feel bad for any Mazonite cops - they'll never find evidence that sticks (badum ching). Odds that this book will go into any detail about the legal system or government seem low.
Anyway the thugs attack. Xylina conjures Faro up a staff and then defends herself with her metal rod trick from before and throws some nets here and there. Also whacks a dude in the head with a rod. Eventually the MYSTERIOUS WOMAN runs off. Turns out that Faro and Xylina actually killed all five dudes. Oops! Faro promptly picks their pockets since they need the money, and Xylina nods and thinks yes that is a good point and robs them as well. Hurray!
She wondered if it troubled him that he had helped her to kill five men tonight whose only offense was that they had obeyed the orders of a woman. She was under no illusions; he had hated all women, and now he hated all but one. She had seen that carefully veiled hate in his eyes, heard it in his caustic wit, just one short step from insolence. Was he lying on his back, on that pallet, wondering if he should have spared their lives? Or did he simply feel that as tools of the woman who had owned them, they were as corrupt as she must be?
She knew how she felt about it; no one had forced the Mazonite to attack her, and there were laws governing the behavior of slaves. Any slave attacking a woman--regardless of whether that was something he had been ordered to do, or something he had decided to do on his own--would be put to death, instantly. Only in the arena, at either a woman-trial, or the rarer fighter's-challenge, could a slave do his best to kill a woman with no reprisals. They would have killed her; she had no compunction about killing them. After all, she had been trained by Marcus to know that one day, she would have to fight at least one man, and the odds were even that it would have been to the death. Every Mazonite knew that; those that entered the army spent their lives killing.
Those men had not really been men to her; they had been things. They were not like Marcus or Faro. If they had run, as their mistress had run, she would have let them live. They had not, she had not.
Killing a person ain't no big deal!
To be fair, they already killed three of them before their mistress ran away BUT HEY, DETAILS
This book really wants you to know how much Faro hates women.
The next morning Xylina wakes up and they boringly discuss what they should do for defense and get knives or whatever yada yada. She wonders how Faro knows so much about stuff, then remembers oh yeah, the arena. What can't Faro do!
They go on to meet another lady to arrange another show for money. This lady wants them to reenact their arena fight but Xylina thinks it would HURT FARO'S PRIDE TOO MUCH so she refuses. When they leave it turns out that Faro stole some cheese.
She smothered a fit of giggles. Faro, a sneak-thief? Who would ever have believed it? "How did you do that? Where did you learn such a thing?" she demanded.
"From one of the boys at the scribe school, when I was about nine, and was still small," he replied, "I was hungry all the time, and the boy claimed my growling stomach kept him awake at night. They never gave us enough time to eat our fill, and they never let us carry food away from the table. One of the other boys was the son of an entertainer, a dancer and conjurer; he taught us all how to filch and conceal food, and what foods were best for the purpose." His tone was light, and she caught a real smile lurking around the corners of his eyes and mouth. he obviously found her surprise quite amusing.
"Is there anything you don't know?" she asked, wondering yet again at the twist of fate that had brought them together, and led her to keep him after she had won him. For all of the horrible things that had happened to her, this--not only the ownership, but the friendship--made up for them. Next to Marcus, he was possibly the most wonderful person she had ever known. She would die if she had to do without him, she thought, suddenly. Die--or if they were right, and she had a terrible enemy, she would be killed.
I GUESS FARO REALLY DOES KNOW EVERYTHING!! Faro anticipates criticism for his Mary Sue-ness by saying there are things he can't do, like cook, sew, or clean. Also can't supervise others (??), can't garden, and isn't good with horses. WELL I'M CONVINCED.
For no reason that Xylina could fathom, the mare had decided that Faro looked like an enemy.
THE NEW HERO OF THE BOOK!
"The only horse I have ever seen hates me," he replied. "And she loves you. I can only conclude either that all horses hate me, or that she is a Mazonite to the core, and believes men should be beneath her hooves, making the pavement soft for her to walk upon."
HA HA, HILARIOUS! As if hearing my pleas, another band of thugs appears out of nowhere and tries to kill them, but I stopped before the conclusion of that THRILLING SCENE!! I anticipate another high bodycount.
I also posted this at dreamwidth with reluctant ambivalence. Comment here or there, don't matter to me!