~Fun with Snatcher - She's eighteen, we swear

Nov 29, 2008 00:29

Thanksgiving was fun, although man my stomach has been hurting a lot today. It actually might be cramps since Cap'n Bloodsnatch is probably due to arrive sometime soon and arrrrrrgh

Aaaaanyway I really kind of sucked at capping a bit this time around, since I was playing when I was extremely tired and I thought it'd help keep me awake. As a result I was just taking caps all over the place. WOOPS! But I can mostly remember what I was doing now so that should help, probably.

I ended up taking a break a little further down the way from here since I was just too tired to play anymore, so I might play some more tonight. :O

Anyway, let's continue our investigation by visiting our dead friend's house! And his fourteen year old daughter! And come dangerously close to pedophilia! YAY JAPAN!

Previous editions and screencappery hey hey man i'm thirsty




Haha already filling up all of these. SO PARANOID.



Anyway people mentioned a few things here I didn't get SO I DECIDED TO SCOUR THE APARTMENT ONCE MORE



HAHA WHO NEEDS FRIENDS WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME GILLIAN
YOU DON'T NEED FRIENDS!



My god you two are married and you've been together for like an hour



WE HAVE, HAHAHA



Has Jamie been taken over by the black oil aliens from X-Files or something?



30, really? Wait a minute, Jamie's in like... her forties? Really? Wow, I didn't notice that.
Hmm.







AND SHE REJECTED YOU
LIKE I NEVER WILL



Anyway continuing to look at this picture over and over again
why won't it become real





Oh hey, that's a good point! Wait a minute.



:O!



No it just composited itself when it got bored OF COURSE SOMEONE MADE IT GILLIAN



Maybe because IT'S A COMPOSITE
DOES EVERYONE HAVE FIVE-SECOND AMNESIA



Gillian, you don't need to repeat the last word that people say to complete your connection to Snake okay.



THE LAST HORSE CROSSING THE FINISH LINE



Or maybe someone faked it to fake her past! Or am I getting ahead of myself here.



YOU ARE THE WORST DETECTIVE EVER, GILLIAN.



WHY ON EARTH WOULD I DO THAT, IT'S NOT LIKE A TAMPERED PHOTO OF MY WIFE IS IMPORTANT OR SOMETHING



What was I doing here? I dunno, looking around I guess.



Metal, it's okay to use contractions.



ALONE... WITH A ROBOT
MY SWEET



Maybe you can't remember where it was taken because you have amnesia, Gillian, you dingus.



She's really in her forties? Would that mean Gillian's in his forties as well? This is making me extremely suspicious.



Thus her Pedobear admirer back there?



Ha ha ha okay let's stop talking about how pretty young girls are okay
(little did i know how much worse this would get)





I'LL WATCH IT AT NIGHT
AND ANALYZE IT
REPEATEDLY







You guys are really a perfect pair.





Metal what would you even do with Jamie





uh





WHY WOULD A ROBOT NEED TASTE IN WOMEN
WTF
ARE THERE ROBOSEXUALS



HOW WOULD THEY FIND OUT GILLIAN'S TASTE IN WOMEN
HOW DO YOU PROGRAM THAT
WHY WOULD YOU PROGRAM THAT









IT WON'T BE MISERABLE WITH ME GILLIAN
I'LL BE EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANT IN A WOMAN
BUT I'LL BE A ROBOT
I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU



Do not timidly approach the sink, and run when the water comes out.



Okay this was me blanking out again, but I told Gillian so shave again. And...



JAMIE HOW'D YOU GET HERE
AND WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN THE THIRD PERSON



SHE'LL ALWAYS TURN YOU DOWN
NOT LIKE ME GILLIAN
I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU



Women love neckbeards!



WITH ME
DON'T TOY WITH ME GILLIAN
I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH



Anyway, call up Jamie again and hey, she's wearing a fancy hat! And looking like she's about twenty years old! SOMETHING FISHY IS GOING DOWN HERE.





I DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOU PERSONALLY I JUST LIKE THE SATISFACTION AND POWER I GET FROM KNOWING WOMEN LOVE ME



What lies? Do they have false memories, or did they agree on false memories, or does she just consider their relationship a lie without memories to back it up? I'm leaning for the latter.



Like the time I stole your perfume! Or when you came in and saw me wearing your clothes! Or when I sent you that threatening letter!



I don't think I want the memories you're describing, Gillian. No, I don't want to look in your pants for them.







HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



this is really deep guys



I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE A HUGE SLIT IN THE FRONT OF YOUR FACE
I TRUST YOU NOT TO BE A SNATCHER

Hey you know speaking of which, I actually had a dream about Snatchers last night! They popped up in front of my text window, and for some reason I couldn't find the right keys on the keyboard to pull out my gun and shoot them, and then they kept weaving around everywhere all fast so I couldn't hit them. It was very frustrating.

Later on I rode in a hot air balloon powered by tapping rhythmically on a table I was sitting at with Doug Funnie (except he was adopted, so he was actually blue like Mr. Dink), so you know.



what



Or dumb. Burn.





And then I talked about Snatchers, but I didn't take a cap of that cause like I said, I was very tired.



Hey wait a minute, no one else talks about Snatchers? THE WHOLE CITY'S UNDER QUARANTINE BECAUSE OF THEM. HOW COULD ANYONE NOT TALK ABOUT THEM.
Although this is beginning to confirm my suspicions that Snatchers might not actually even exist.



GOD YOU'RE SO DUMB
JUST LIKE A WOMAN





I prefer pretending that Jamie is humoring him and isn't just a total idiot.



"What's a Junker?"
what's a helmet







But I'd rather be alone than be with you, Gillian.











Whatever it is you do. I've already forgotten. (help! i've been snatched!)







Nothing brings back the old memory like good old fashioned elbow grease!





NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I WASN'T DONE TALKING TO YOU NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



DARN IT SHE WON'T TAKE MY CALLS
JAMIE I'M COMING TO YOUR HOUSE
YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF











Darn it's not an option. well whatever I guess I should go to Gibson's house or something.











Hahahahaha wtf what are we in splatterhouse all of a sudden



Why are the hills filled with raccoons?





LORD KNOWS WHAT IT'S DOING HERE





Metal do you have a fetish you're not telling me about



No!







yeah
just a little







HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET IN?!?



Gillian you know I don't have hands
why do you always do this



Why hello, knock option.



There is no more wood in the future. ONLY CERAMICS!!



So we're not breaking and entering then.





DUN DUN DUUUUN







Alright, why not.



AGH



Leave this house, oh Beast!





I don't have to tell you.













FINE, BE THAT WAY.



TRUST ME IMPLICITLY









MY WHAT
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO
WHAT









You definitely didn't just beat a Junker to death and steal this ID.



Oh yay, random trivia questions! Just like the adventure games of my youth.









Tired as I was, I was sure it was 44.







Darn it. I went and looked it up.







NO ONE WOULD EVER KNOW THAT
COME ON IN



Cause if you were a stalker trying to break into my house to kidnap me, there's no way you'd know anything about me, an incredibly famous model!













I think a smart girl probably wouldn't open the door regardless of whether or not someone can answer trivia that was probably published in some teen magazine at some point, but okay.



I REMEMBER THIS CONSPICOUSLY SPECIFIC PIECE OF INFORMATION!









WHAT
frick I know that's it wtf



I'll let you keep trying until you get it right, then I'll KNOW you're for real!

Although actually to be fair, I vastly prefer this to the "get it wrong once and you're dead" approach. King's Quest.





Maybe I was approaching this the wrong way?





ffffffff





THERE.







I'm not a creep, by the way!
But I will need visual confirmation.



Or the reporter from Teen Beat, but okay!





Suddenly I want to watch the Amityville Horror. Huh.





HI MAYA
WHERE'S YOUR SISTER
EATEN ANY HAMBURGERS LATELY



Anyway, if I recall correctly Katrina's all like weep weep my dad
And Gillian's all man I'm sorry it was my fault for sucking



And Metal, again, is all like it's not your fault Gillian blah blah
And Katrina's all I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN, HE WAS A JUNKER SO HE WAS BOUND TO DIE EVENTUALLY



And then she's all focus on your work and I'll help you whenever I can, that kind of thing.





HEY FUN FACTS GUYS
APPARENTLY IN THE ORIGINAL JAPANESE VERSION
KATRINA IS FOURTEEN YEARS OLD

FOURTEEN YEARS OLD
14 14
14

KEEP THAT IN MIND FROM NOW ON



GILLIAN NO
THAT'S NOT COOL

i can't believe I was all SHE'S GOING TO BE UNDERAGE just from Mika specifically saying she was 18 earlier. I KNEW IT.



Metal's for once insane jealousy over Gillian's incessant flirting seems totally justified.





Creeeepyyyy.







HA HA
CAUSE HE'S OLD
HA HA HA!
I'M CLEVER





Metal appreciates antique furniture.



Looks like a lot of space back there to me, but hey, what do I know.





Well at least we can't investigate Katrina.



THE BRIGHT YELLOW AND RED
IT REALLY BRINGS THE ROOM TOGETHER

hey wait now that I'm looking back there, is that a scale model of his own house on the shelf there? wtf gibson



Hahahahaha he's dead now!





THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME, GILLIAN.



Does that really affect the value of antiques? I really have no idea.









TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR DEAD FATHER
DID YOU KNOW HIS HEAD GOT PULLED OFF





RIGHT OFF HIS BODY







And how you're going to be living with me, Metal Gear, from now on.
I already wrote up the marriage certificate, you just need to sign it.





Harsh?



Feel free to look around the house though.







WE HAD TO CUT HIM OPEN THERE WAS BLOOD EVERYWHERE
ALL OVER HIS HEAD
WHICH WAS IN HIS LAP BY THE WAY





According to some people, it's very gamy.





YEAH THAT WAS MY POINT BEFORE
although if you're living in a city that genetically modified themselves a unicorn for no reason i guess that's not really a problem





WHO WOULD EVER USE ONE OF THOSE
YOU GET AIDSSTBO THAT WAY
ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME THING



Katrina are you about to rip out my throat





Then that's where I'm going!



Uh oh.







YES PLEASE



NO KATRINA DON'T LISTEN





Gillian I think she's really doing pretty well, she told you so earlier.





GILLIAN SHE'S FINE.









Metal trying in vain to stop this from happening.







GILLIAN NO



GILLIAN JESUS CHRIST



That was pretty much my reaction as well. HEY YOUR DAD DIED WANT TO GO ON A DATE? I MAY OR MAY NOT BE THIRTY YEARS OLDER THAN YOU, HA HA HA.





SHE'S FOURTEEN GILLIAN
JESUS CHRIST















And then, amazingly enough, Katrina actually yelled at me and was all GET OUT GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU PERVERT which I really didn't see coming. Huh. I SHOULD HAVE SAVED FRIIIIIICK



Metal stabbing Gillian discreetly in the calf.



I was, at this point, extremely worried that I'd totally screwed everything up and would have to restore or something. THERE HAS TO BE A WAY TO GET BACK IN









FRICK

I ended up having to knock, like fifteen times.



Sly?!









I am now terrified that this will come back to haunt me later. Like Katrina will stab me or something because I kept harrassing her. TIME FOR ANOTHER SAVE SLOT!











Which was only an hour ago or so, so that's not really that strange, considering.





Gillian leave her alone





DUN DUN DUUUN











Why would facing north be a problem?





Hee hee.







Oh good, I needed more shampoo.





HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S JOHNNY!







"He could have taught me, but I'm just a girl, so why would he do that! *giggle giggle*"







It's trying to hide the fact it gained weight recently.









AFTER I LOOK AT EVERYTHING FIRST







...Huh.









How did he figure? ooookay gillian







More items! Wooooo





You can see him at every Laker game.

















So wait, what's the significance of this? what.
(the female snatcher is a BLACK QUEEEEEN)







Hey, a new submenu!









I do this a lot in the Phoenix Wright games as well. It's fun!









Like "all work and no play make jack a dull boy"





Any old key, could be my dad's, why not





What a dork.







Haha that's nice
No you can't have it back.









HE WAS A SNATCHER
YOU'RE A SNATCHER
EVERYONE'S A SNATCHER





Alright let's see what's on the disk





NO, REALLY?!







Wow, Gibson sure had a lot of time to painstakingly recreate the holes in a 5-inch floppy before he got his head torn off by a Snatcher.



SURE, ALRIGHT!







all work and no play make jack a dull boy
all work and no play make jack a dull boy
all work and no play make jack a dull boy



No one ever bought Gibson's novel.







Why would skin cancer be fatal to robots.



Call me crazy, but I assumed they came up with the artificial skin to, you know, blend in with us, and that their artificial skin wasn't in any way connected to their health, since it was just a disguise. and they're robots.



Like a heart-shaped birthmark! OOPS!



TAKE A SHOWER!!
GOD$%^% YOU I HAVE CANCER



Do they make it? Does it make them? DOES IT HURT THEIR ARTIFICIAL LUNGS, GIVING THEM ROBOLUNG CANCER AND KILLING THEM?





IT WAS KATRINA ALL ALONG I KNEW IT







I owed him some money, and he really holds a grudge.



That and shooting them in the face.





Frick, what was going on at this point... oh yeah, a dog was barking! SNATCHERS!



SNATCHERS IN THE GARDEN!





I'm on to you.



ALICE
WHO THE #^$^ IS ALICE














MUST GO THROUGH EVERY OPTION







I'm picturing a dog thrashing Metal around like a chewtoy now.





I didn't catch a real good shot of this, but a bunch of birds flew out. FALSE ALARM!

OR IS IT





And then they go back inside, if I remember right. Or say that things are actually all right. OR ARE THEY?







Really?



DOGS SMELL CANCER

























BARBED WIRE
WHY USE BARBED WIRE
WHEN WE CAN GENETICALLY ENHANCE A BUSH



Does that really warrant amused skepticism, Gillian?















I guess that's it? Weird I feel like there should be more here but maybe not? Eh.





AHA!











DIDN'T FALL FOR IT THAT TIME HA HA
mostly









No it was a Snatcher
I MEAN





Alice, fetch my slippers!
Alice, you pooped on my bed!
Alice, we need to get you spayed.

Three reasons you should not name your pets after deceased significant others.





I'M DEFINITELY NOT USING IT
STOP SMELLING ME





Katrina no Gillian's creepy





And then they exchanged videophone numbers! I think.











GET SOME PIZZA!

screencap adventures, snatcher

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