~My name is Lithium.
It looks like I may have to go and change every link to the storage domain after all. Oh that'll be fun.
You know what I haven't done in a while? A DOTT screencap post. But besides that, an update. But besides that, a songpost. BUT BESIDES THAT
a badfic quote post.
The thing is that I still collect badfic quotes, I just haven't been posting them cause I'm lazy or forget. GAFF has gotten really laggy recently, so I haven't been poking around there lately either, although writers_orgasm is a great source for weird stuff, along with babb_chronicles and badfic_quotes and stuff.
All quotes are from real fics! Things in italics are comments by other people, and things in italics with a ~ in front of them are my comments. Some of these might be old (has it been a year or something since I last did one of these? dang) but I went and poked through what I had marked in my memories and this was where they started, so if I posted some of these before then GET OVER IT.
Will scar your brain for life! I made a tag for the old badfic quote posts out of boredom - voila. NOT WORK SAFE. OR BRAIN SAFE.
NOT. WORK. SAFE. And will possibly destroy fond childhood memories.
And if, perchance, you were to make the wrong choice, don't lament when your child becomes an alien-sympathizing, subvocal, homosexual, technocratic Nazi.
Dwarfs have been driven deep into their house of stone, in fear of whom they might find strolling on their doorstep.
*doorbell rings*
*dwarves look outside suspiciously*
Sauron: Don't mind me, I'm just taking a stroll. Doodedo.
Charlie Brown lay on his bed in his room playing with his little dick and thinking about the pretty little red-haired girl. She was so cute and he was sure he was in love with her. He wanted her so badly and she was all he ever thought about. He remembered the first time he saw her on the way to school. She had been in front of him some twenty feet and her little ass was making her pretty green dress swing from side to side, high enough so that every once in a while he got a glimpse of her white panties stretched over her cute ass.
"Wow, sis," he said, "that feels great. Where'd you learn that?"
"Frmph mflimfufs," she responded, his cock completely inside her hot little mouth.
"LINUS!?" Charlie Brown shouted, "Linus showed you this?"
just in time for him to see the first of four little boy-spurts
Go marching two by two, hurrah.
Lucy roared with laughter as her little brother tumbled around on the floor. She fell backward and rolled on the floor, holding her stomach, her skinny legs up in the air, her little white panties clearly visible to the approaching Snoopy.
The dog eyed the crotch in front of him, dropped the blanket and sniffed.
'Whoa!' he thought, 'pussy smell.' He stuck his wet nose deeper into her crotch, poking into the little slit beneath the panties.
Snoopy's a fiend. All this time, I would never have suspected. I mean, it makes me wonder if all that time he was pretending to fly on the doghouse, if he was just out crusing for ass.
"Snoopy," she managed to pull her mouth off his prick and blurt out, "fuck my pussy, my pussy, not my mouth."
I would consider leaving a "WTF" review for the author, but I figure that logic, decency, and good old common sense make about as much sense to him as the adults on Charlie Brown make to us.
Sane Person: Um, this is sick shit.
Author hears: *Woh-woh-woh* *Woh-woh*
Other Sane Person: Do you actually jerk off to this stuff? They're eight years old, you twisted fuck. Get professional help!
Author hears: *Woh-woh-woh-woh.* *Growl* *Woh-woh-woh*
Whoever owns “THE INCREDIBLES”:
"I HATE YOU WHOEVER MADE THIS MOVIE; THE END WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO HORRIBLE! VIOLET IS SUPPOSED TO REMAIN GOTHIC DON’T YOU GUYS WATCH TEEN TITANS AT ALL? SHE’S SUPPOSED TO STAY HIDDEN BEHIND HER HAIR….AND HOW DARE YOU PUT HER IN PINK (OOH, GROSSSSS!) CLOTHES! AND I HATE HATE HATE, I REPEAT, HATE, HEADBANDS! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER GOTHIC AND TALKING IN A MONOTONOUS VOICE AND HIDING BEHIND HER DARK BLACK HAIR AND WRITING DARK, EEERIE, CREEPY, GOTHIC POETRY AND I REPEAT, I HATE HEADBANDS! NO ONE GOTHIC WEARS HEADBANDS! VIOLET IS SUPPOSED TO REMAIN DARK AND GOTHIC AND CREEPY AND LIKE RAVEN (FROM TEEN TITANS), AND DEPRESSED AND DARK AND HIDDEN, AND SHE SHOULD ONLY LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ROBIN (BUT NOT ROBIN, FOR ROBIN BELONGS TO RAVEN, FOREVERMORE!), BUT NOT THAT BOY THAT IS SHOWN IN THE END!I HATE THE END!AND I HATE HEADBANDS!AND WHAT ABOUT THE PROPHECY! HUH? CAN”T THERE BE A GOTHIC, EERIE, DEPRESSING PROPHECY! AND I HATE HEADBANDS, I REPEAT, I HATE HEADBANDS, I REPEAT….FOREVERMORE, I HATE HEADBANDS AND I HATE PINK!
Sincerely,
XraraOfTheDARK, Raven Of The Shadows Azerath
HI!!! I am a HEADBAND and I am so pleased to be talk to you!! Sorry, Anglish is not my first language, I speak HEADBAND! Headband is good things. We keep your hair out of a face when you are doing an Aerobics Work Out. When you sweat much, Terry Headband keeps forehead cool, dry, pleasing! It is a useful thinng. Headband is fashion! We come in many colors, any color you want!! You can decorate headband to match an out fit, with lace, seequins, glitter, whatever fancies you. Headband comes in diverse fabric such as terry, jersey, cotton, satin, embroidery, lace, kerchief- any pattern and color. Headband is life-saving! It keeps messy hairs out of eyes for important tasks as CPR, swim rescuing, ambulatory driver, emmergencies. Hairs in eyes makes seeing blind, that is dangerous! Also headband look flatters all hair styles, colors, types, man and women. Headband is welcoming to all!
The girls at my school are spoiled, evil BITCHES. Especially Prince Charming and Cinderella’s daughter Charmerella
The Great King Alexander could not believe that he has been ordered, albeit indirectly, by this man to shut up.
Aragorn: AHH!! IT'S YOU!"
Me: shuttup aggie you're bribery
aragorn: again?
Me: HALDIR SING!!
Naytoma,
Sorry I couldnt have been a better mother. I left 5 million dollers on the table for you.
whose water was mixed with sweat and cuntal juices of the two sexy girls
R2 hadn´t become the royal pleasure droid for nothing. Handmaidens, Queens, Senators, and every other girl had enjoyed him already.
R2's phallic probe sucked in the honey and pussy juices of Beru for later use
He tooted loudly and long for one final time and pushed his rod even deeper than before, shooting his oil and droid cum fluids, as well as Beru's earlier collected juices back into her womb, filling her up
Oil, I can understand. A droid would have oil (Though am not entirely sure what the effects are of it being inside a woman. Presumably she has to keep away from fire). Beru's juices (but not her honey-R2 has to sell that larer) also I can understand. The author explained how he got that-but Droid CUM! What the hell is that? Did R2's creator just thing "Hey, let's give this Droid a completely useless fluid!" just before alcohol was banned during researches?
The final drops of honey mixed with droid oil tasted wonderfully sweet and addicting.
There's the honey again. And, why would oil taste good? Did said drunk scientist decide that instead of being powered on just any oil, R2 would be powered on oil fused with ginger and cocoa? I hope he got the sack.
Beru knew what pleasure C3PO could give, based on what Shmi had told her from time to time.
~::jaw drops::
Padmé, Anakin, R2 and C3PO left Tatooine. Beru looked after them in the sky, while they raced across the stars, and hoped she would meet Padme again one day.
Now, unlike most GAFF, I would like to see a sequel, because there's so many questions unanswered.
What happened to Owen and his father? Since it is their property, why aren't they there? Why isn't Beru worried about this at all?
In the absence of the author writing one, here's my suggestion, entitled "R2D2-CyberPimp"
R2D2 started in the time of the Old Republic a career of porn producing, droid escort services, honey sales, and slave trade. This helped him gain much more in the way of money to the point that when the New Republic started, he owned one quarter of the planets. He was known as "Pimp Daddy R2" and became even more popular for his gold chains, fur coats, and Hip-Hop albums.
With his money, he paid a droid mechanist to implant a program that enabled him to say the word "bee-atch" which soon became C-3PO's official name.
"Laura, hoe 'bout you go to sleep.
"That was a Freudian slip, if you couldn't tell, Whora. I mean, Laura. That was another Freudian slip, there."
Modesty landed right in the middle of a forest.
"Uhh deja vu...."
She stood up, still clutching the wand in her hand.
Link woke up, with a throbbomg headach.
“I want to make love to you, Legolas. That is what I want,” Glorfindel said to him and continued: “Do you know that you are the beautiful elf that I have ever seen?” He saw that Legolas still had his mouth open with shock, and reached over to kiss the honeyed lips. Legolas drew back when he saw that Glorfindel wanted to kiss him. Glorfindel followed him, until Legolas found himself up against Glorfindel’s horse. He saw that Glorfindel’s eyes were closed. Just as Glorfindel was closing in for the kiss, Legolas quickly moved to the side so that Glorfindel kissed the horse’s arse instead.
Legolas was now feeling ashamed for what he had done, but knew that there was nothing he could do. What is done, is done. You cannot, move the wheel back, only forward. He turned away, feeling ashamed of himself, so he couldn’t what Glorfindel was doing. After several minutes, he felt a rope being tied around his body tightly. It was beginning to cut off his blood flow.
“What are you doing?” Legolas whispered to him.
“Now I will make sure that you will pay,” Glorfindel said to him.
Legolas couldn’t breathe as he felt the rope press his bones near his lungs. He was beginning to turn blue - death was near. He could feel it, and saw the Halls of Mandos open up to welcome him, and knew that death was touching him. Darkness overtook him before he lost consciousness.
“Now you are mine. I have desired you since I saw you for the first time at the council, and now you are mine,” Glorfindel said to him, desire shining in his eyes. Passion overtook him, and he took Legolas.
The pain was blinding. In tears, Legolas begged Glorfindel to stop, but Glorfindel did not hear him. Glorfindel continued pounding into Legolas’ body, driving harder and deeper; he was totally beyond any reason.
“Stop, please stop.” Legolas whispered, but knowing it was futile.
Legolas eyes were full of misery and sadness. He felt useless, like a mouse in the corner.
Glorfindel took a deep breath before continuing his story. He did not dare to look at Elrond. "They dragged me to a large rock and draped me over it. They tied my hands together so tightly that they began to bleed. Then they spread my legs far apart and…they raped me, one after the other. And I loved it.” A smile appeared on Glorfindel’s face. “Yes, Elrond, believe it or not, I loved it, and I asked for more…”
Elrond looked at him, horrified. He felt pity for his friend, but he swallowed when he heard Glorfindel's words, "I do not need your pity!"
"That is what changed you?" Elrond asked.
"They beat me badly, but it was somehow a turning point in my life. As they raped me, I could feel a great power fill my body, building up inside of me… it felt good. For the first time, I felt alive…"
HARRY: Professor Snape is trying to kill me!
HAGRID: Nonsense; he kicked that habit a long time ago. He hasn’t killed a student in almost four years.
Sango was kicking and screaming the entire time. “ how dare you, you giant pussy, put me down!”
And her brother had a brain full of tea.
"Build me an omlet worthy of Mordor."
“I don’t want to hurt Bridget,
She is a nice kid, But if I don’t marry Eyowen,
I fear I’ll be dead.”
She walked up to me and kiss me. Her hands ran through my hair. When he tongue entered my mouth I felt my toes curls. She had a couple of inches on me and bent my head down. She slammed a fist into my stomach hard twisting it. I screamed in pain and fail to the ground. Paris laughed. I was shock. I never been hit that hard before. Especially by a woman.
Now there's a twist on an old standard. The writer is getting beaten up by his sex symbols!
"You think you actually would win. You think we were actually going to let you fuck this million dollar pussy" Paris said standing over me lifting her skirt. She had no panties on and was dripping wet. She tease me parting her lips "Look at this. This is something you poor self won’t have. All you can do is just jerk of a wish you have this. Wish you had this pussy only a millionaire can have. You act like your better then me but you know you do anything just to get a touch of this pussy. I run and empire. Get everything I want and it not a damm thing you can do about."
Joyce had a lezbian experience in college.
It was like a lesbian experience but more x-treme and to the MAX.
Any relation to real life people is attentional
She was looking so sexy in the empty dark room, in her summer-tight pink shirt, with jeans so tight that you are able to feel the texture of her skin. he leaned her on the bed until she was fully on her back then got into kissing a little more. Harry didnt know what to do until she told him to take off his shirt,
EVS: This just in! Summer makes pink shirts tight! Thousands die in San Francisco! More at eleven.
He pushed his thumb against her clit and she yelled out a quiet but meanningful moan. After about 5 min. of fingering her they both took off all there cloths.Harry took out his rock hard british cock and dabbed it on her lips until she opened her mouth.
She opened her mouth and pushed it from cheeck to cheek with her tounge, crookshanks left the room with a whine. After nice oral pleasuring, Harry flipped her over on her knees and spread her legs open. He ate her from side to side until she started to have an orgasm. He didnt want her to cum yet and she didnt want him to cum, or in zacks case, not come at all. he fucked her condom free and she moaned so loud. Her smooth skin and her face so horny. her clit was so pink and she was shaved that you would mistaken her for a pedoliciouse girl. after hours of long and hard fucking they both came as she was riding his cock. one last moan and they fell to the bed side by side. this was the best day at hogwarts that they both have ever had. That is until hagrid came in and shoved his missive-barrell sized cock into hermione until she bled to death, but for harry it was a dream come true
Liberty AKA Nymphomania Tonks
Liberty, however knew what was going on as she was sent to Degrassi to prevent weird things from happening by Albus Dumbledore.
“There’s something you’re not telling us?” Said Ginny.
"I'm not really a man, I'm a woman." said Harry.
"Oh my God! You're a woman?" replied Ginny.
"I'm not really a woman, I'm a horse."
"You're a horse?"
"I'm not really a horse, I'm a broom." said Harry falling to the ground as a broom.
As they approached the Gate the Ministry workers watched them with smirks on their faces.
Stupid Bustards,
Bustards: (n) A child born to two, unwed parents who conceived a child and gave birth to it in the back of a bus.
She had amber eyes, while his were a deep sapphire blue
and they were all made of stone. That made it really, really problematic to cry. All that ever came out was gravel..
This is an alternate universe tale, based on the events of The Phantom Menace, but with one important digression. Think of it as what happens when Iaga's "Knight Moves," Ide Cyan's "Purple Dreams," and the horror that is The Darth Maul Journal collide in my sick and twisted imagination. This is not how I see Maul in The Phantom Menace, but how I think he should have turned out based on his backstory from The Darth Maul Journal. I must also claim some inspiration from Adalisa's "Puppyverse" series. I've never read it, but I've heard the premise, and it most likely influenced my brainstorming.
He was a knight, raised from padawan status through a centuries-old loophole. "Kill a Sith, become a knight," Mace Windu had explained. "It's like a battlefield promotion. Even though we thought the Sith were extinct, we still kept that on the books, just in case. You don't need to go through the trials, but we can still have a knighting ceremony for you when we get home."
"You killed my master. You are my master now."
"And how do you figure that?"
"You were stronger than my former master. You have earned his position, and deserve my allegiance."
Oh! Oh, okay. Obi Won just killed Sideous. Okay, nods, okay sure. I guess there is no reason for the FIVE OTHER MOVIES BECAUSE SIDEOUS IS DEAD SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR STUPID FIC ABOUT REFORMING MAUL BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID ASS!
The dark-robed figure unclipped his lightsaber and handed it to Obi-Wan, who handed it back to Depa without a glance. He then reached into his boot and pulled out a vibro-shiv, then dug a garrote and a dagger out of his tunic and handed them all to Obi-Wan.
Vibro-Shiv?
Obi-Wan reached through the bars and grabbed Maul by the chin. Maul flinched at the touch, fear leaking back into his eyes. "If I find you've been causing trouble, then I won't come back. That is a threat I can make good on without breaking my Jedi vows."
"I want you to take menial jobs at substandard wages," Sidious said with a sneer.
"But Master, I have skills! I could take a real job. Be a stockbroker! Use the Force to manipulate the stock market and make billions!"
"No, my young apprentice. I need you to work in the service industry so you can further hone your anger and hatred for a wide variety of beings. Here, I've already filled out an application for you at Burger King. You have an interview in an hour."
Her mother handed her a bottle of dressing. It was obviously new due to the fact that the cheap price tag was still stuck precariously to the bottom.
First, and most importantly, who cares?
Second, precariously? Lily fears for the tag's safety as she rushes to get a cushion for the tag to fall on...
“We cannot discuss it here, Lily my girl! Quick, to Hogwarts!” replied her Headmaster in ecstasy.
She had glittering emerald eyes that made her stand out in any crowd.
Except when she wore a *hat*. Then she just *sucked*.
Lily, using the silver tongs her mother had laid out, began grabbing lettuce and transferring it to her plate. “Thanks mum,” she said with a genuine smile.
"Mom, have I told you recently how much I love you? And salad?"
“My dear Lily! You must be a tericyle! There hasn’t been one since the great Merlin himself!
It's a little known fact that Merlin was, in fact, a foot-pedal powered vehicle boasting 10^12 wheels.
Lily sat in awe over what she was hearing. “I have… special powers?” she croaked.
“Why yes, of course. You, like Merlin, can see with your eyes closed.” Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
"Why yes, of course. You, like Merlin, enjoy baked cod." Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
"Why yes, of course. You, like the characters from Ranma 1/2, take bread extremely seriously." Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
"Why yes, of course. The multiverse, as you know, contains a finite amount of matter." Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
“It seems as though the curse that broke the glass, the Cruciartus Curse, still lingers in your eyes. Its pain will be off and on over the next year or so.”
But the curse hit the salad bowl. Why should the curse be haunting Lily? Because it sounds better than the curse haunting the salad bowl?
"Yes, children, this is the old Evans place, and at night you can still hear the agonized screams of that poor young salad bowl so cruelly cut down...oh, and two other people died there as well, but that's not important."
“Courtney Baggins, daughter of Primula Brandybuck, I, Frodo Baggins am your half-brother. One of the three last remaining relatives on our mother’s side.”
Rebbeca was fed up. She was just out of the third X-Men movie to do a fashion show in Cannes. Rebbeca Romjin-Stamos plays the role of Mystique in the X-Men movies, so she made off her body to be naked for several hours. In that fashion show she was supposed to be full naked, with only a little tanga covering her groins and crotch. But she denied doing that. So, she was going to came out full dressed with a nice silk green dress very tight, like a swimming costume.
One of the lizardmen, the green and younger one, raised his hand.
-What? - said the brown lizardman.
-Can we fuck a female?- he said.
The whole pack agreed with him. They were horny as bulls in season since they left the lizardmen city, four days ago. They missed their females and didn't try to discharge their liquids into other male's asshole. The homosexual feelings didn't arise yet.
The lizardman released Rebecca's arms. He saw a tear running down her cheek. He realized about the feelings of that girl and about how soft her skin was. So he decided to rape her gently.
•Author note: I am not sure how to rape somebody gently.
The brown lizardman kept his hands on her hips and leaned his body over her back and licked her, running his tongue over, making nice round movements. He just kept his shaft inside that tight ass, and didn't start to push in and pull out yet. When he started, she surely started to moan really heavy. The lizard women of his city enjoyed a lot with him, surely the humans will enjoy too. So, he started to mount her like a wild horse. Without care, he pulled out and pumped in with frenzy rhythm, using the strength of his powerful legs and hips, using all his well-built muscles. He needed to pump harder and faster, so he put his left foot on her left asscheek and grabbed it with his toes and paws, and increased the number of humps per minute.
She felt something on her buttocks. A foot! That rapist put a foot on her buttocks to give stronger humps inside her.
Rebbeca desired to be dead! When the lizardman grabbed her head, only one thought was in her mind. That he is about to cum all inside her mouth, and that she got to drink all of that nasty and repulsive scaly cum. She didn't want to drink it. She didn't want to! Why is she suffering this torture? What does she do? It was a mistake to be a model? Or what?
The brown lizardman took the ass of Rebbeca, that now was like a big brown hole in the middle of two pink and soft mountains of skin. He introduced his manhood inside without mercy and started to pump in and to push out without a steady rhythm. Sometimes he went slow, sometimes he went really fast, and sometimes like a fucking train.
The first lizardman who cam was the brown, inside Rebbeca's ass. Then the blue lizardman, who took his shaft out of her mouth and shot a wave of cum all over her eyes, nose and lips. Then, all the others, cumming not only on her face, but on her back, arms and legs. One shot hit her in the ear and the cum entered deep inside, so she got deaf from that ear.
With care, he stroked his recently sucked shaft and headed to the position of the brown lizardman.
-Is my turn in her asshole, fella.-
-I didn't finish yet.- said the brown lizardman between gritted teeth.
"It is Alisha Potter I hope you know what to do with her everyone thinks she is dead." he said.
"Well I thought she died along with Lily and James." she said
"I think she went and hid under her crib when Voldermort tried to kill her and Harry." Sirius said.
"Well all I can think of is to send her to live with Lily's youngest sister Rose in America. I think that is our only hope to save her." Arabella said.
"How do you know this?" Sirius asked Arabella.
"That is where Snape sent his daughter Tanya to hid her from Voldermort and I think that is where they are hiding Voldermorts only Daughter Whitney Nickole." Arabella said. "Also everyone here thinks she is dead but if she is in America no one will have the slightest idea she is alive."
Aithne looked at the train as she stood on platform 9¾ with a huge grin on her face, her piercing blue eyes alight with glee, wavy copper hair blowing in the wind.
Toad: So, we're prison buddies.
Wolvie: Looks like it.
Toad: We should bust out.
Wolvie: Tried already.
Toad: Hopefully my guys will get me soon.
Wolvie: Same here.
Toad: So, you know what prison buddies traditionally do, yes?
Wolvie: Not bored enough yet.
Toad: Fair enough.
Wolvie: *yawn*
Toad: Does that mean you're bored?
Wolvie: Ah fuck. Yeah. Sure. I'm bored. Let's get this over with, okay?
Toad: So, top or bottom?
Wolvie: *snikt!* Whaddaya think?
Toad: Suits me fine. I'm self-lubricating.
Wolvie: I did NOT need to know that!
Toad: You were gonna find out soon enough.
“Maddem Pomfrey. Its Hermione...” Harry showed Maddem Pomfrey Hermermione who was so white you could hardly see her lips.He was the one who saw him come back, he had faced Voldmomnrt five times and survived them all!
redscharlach: I rather wish they had managed to make the spelling even worse, in order to produce Voldemoment. "When Death-Eaters have killed and tortured your entire family - that's a Volde-moment!"
"Evanescence Maria Moerow Avans you know I love you more than enything," He said using her whole name.
Lily Evans was saying good-bye to her freinds as she was transfering to Hogwarts. she had 7 freinds. There group consisted 8 freinds.
Emma Johnson, John Brandon, Luke, Alex Astrology (A/N: I know funny name isnt it but what can i do?) Brandon, Jude, Lucy Springs and last but not least Lily Evans.
"Join me, and I will spare you," whispered Voldiemort.
"Never" they all whispered.
"Then goodbye, Avakada."(Can't spell it)
“Fuck,” said Harry as he realised that voldimort had just cast an avadacadabara curse on him
Lily took some loo powder and threw it in the fireplace.
jenocclumency: Loo Powder!" New from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes! Guaranteed to trick your friends! No matter where they want to travel, they'll end up in the loo! Available in many scents.
If you guys were wondering why Hermionie would know spanish its because over the summer She went over to her friends house, me, and I taught her spanish!! Well please review!!!
Btw I do know grammer is bad. She's from New York. Us peoples can't talk here.
This is not your usual Lily FICS. This is one Lily and BRIAN along with the demon BELTHAZOR. U might be wondering what this is about. Lily does not marry James.
Sergius, glanced at Sable who was now staring at him with sweet wide cold dark black eyes.
The truth of the matter was simple I was you are the-boy-who-live and when you are that your friends would die because of being that but of course the friends who live with me now were in danger and that title pretty much died 5000 years ago when Voldemort died.
James is the Prince of Austria. NOT AU.
Draco's hand trailed down to vagina, and he began to rub softly. Hermione was in great thoughts now.
He slowly inserted a finger, and he rubbed it around in circles. Hermione was very horny, and she was ready to come when she did. It felt like the world was crashing down, she is a virgin, and she had just orgasmed, well she WAS a virgin.
Then his manhood entered her unmenthonables.
When Ron was defiantly in their room Harry asked, “Do you like me as in love me like me?”
I answered by saying, “Well ......... that’s a stupid question” not wanting to answer yes and be very embarrassed. He picked me up by my ass and kissed me passionately.
warning; sever swearing and slight nudity this girl who I own tries to get Harry to sleep with her in front of every body thing is she doesn't speak english,she speakes this weird language I like to call the 'ancient tongue of the angels' (example: Ie Louvei uyouy means: I love you) Its just basically gibberish.
“Ahh! Parlate italiano? Me a, i miei genitori non! Sexy, gradisco il vostro seno. (Ahh! You speak Italian? Me to, my parents don't! Sexy, i like your breast.)” He said, I was enraged. And I did not like him.
"skjnxdlknvlxnx.(That’s Transylvanian for "I think they found us!" )" Amanda said shakily.
bonsai__kitten: Transylvanian sounds an awful lot like the language I created while banging my head against the keyboard.
Since he was having double potions he was going to dress extra special today and since it was Friday and free dress code (Dumbledore thought that if letting the students be them selves they would excel academically mangy old coot) he wore, black baggy jeans with silver skulls lining the side, hems, and pockets, a black muscle shit (which I may add clung oh so goody to Harry's chest) that had the hem lined with silver skulls.
My eyes looked as clear and pure the sky. But when you look at them they just look cold and dark. Guess that's what you get from a goth.
"These are my kids." He whispered.
"Yes"-said Dumbledore. "Their called James, Sirius, Lilly, Remus, Harry, Hermoine, Cedric, Ginny and Albus."
"I have nine kids," shouted Harry.
"No Harry, you have three sets of twins."
It is all my moms fault I can describe a murder. She let me watch all those mob movie when I was little. So it is natural I now murders.
The next thing I saw was even more amazing than the boy walking or really running through the wall, she diapered!! She was gone! All gone nothing left of her!!! Then the other lady did to!!! OMG OMG OMG what just happened???
We in no way fight muggles. Dumbledore spread word that death eaters killed muggles when in fact are cause is to reunite muggles and wizards together and live in an open and free world where muggles and wizards can live next door to each other and send there children to the same schools.
Voldemort has a dream!
Harry Turned Around To Get A Look At This Mysterious Unknown Man, What He Saw Shocked Him. Behind Him Stood A Young Teenager About Harry's Age Standing At A Tower Six Feet Eight Inches Tall, Wearing All Black Dragon Hide Leather, A Leather Trench-Coat, A Piercing In His Left Ear Of A Silver Dragon, With A Plantium Chain With A Dragon Pendent, The Boy Was Loaded With Wepons Of All Sorts, He Had Two Short Swoards Under The Coat, Many Daggers And Throwing Items Concealed Over His Body, And A Goate'.
Harry’s silvery black eyes bore into Voldemorts, then Harry blasted Voldemort with a black energy beam from his mouth that totally destroyed Voldemort’s mind, body, and soul.
(A/n: take that red bull )
Hi Harry! Hope youre well and everything, bla bla. Something terrible has happened. Ginny just confessed to me that shes in love with - you never guess it - You-know-who!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.! The exclamation marks were necassary, I feel like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.! .
She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be shown around like a prized fish, she wanted to be alone.
Lily picked up her son and held him in her arms. His eyes resembled hers and harry's messy hair was no doubt from James. It was definently their son. And not by force, lily had freeingly given herself to James.
flattheseventh: Such a beautiful moment, as she reflects on how the conception of her son didn't involve rape.
Dear Harry,
I have been having a nice time here in Bulgaria. Viktor's family is so nice and Bulgarian.
Its been 2 months and I’ve changed quiet a lot. I ve achieved a exquisite tan and I’ve been playing a few mortal sports.
mmulberry: I myself prefer immortal sports: Elysian Fields hockey, rowing on the River Styx, Mount Olympus biking.
volandum: Don't forget swimming down Lethe.
julianlee: How could I do anything but forget?
Siruis - you are really not worth talking to . how can you bully your own son ------------- opps sorry ...
Snape - my son ..... HARRY POTTER IS MY SON ! HE IS NOT HARRY POTTER BUT IS HARRY HARRY SNAPE POTTER .....................
anaid_rabbit: Snape - .... HARRY SNAPE POTTER HARRY POTTER SNAPE.... delete... delete whole disk... memory loss... system terminated...
“Great I’m starved.” Ron said and placed a hand full of chicken legs on his plate and started to eat. “What’s this?” Ty asked looking at pickled dick. “Pickled dick.” Hermione said. “No thanks I’ll just have some chicken.”
~S: How does Hermione know? I guess that rubber phallus WAS for research!
Sahara Sydney Snape
Leela opened the door to see this young teenage girl. She was very pretty, with orange hair, and blue eyes. "Can I help you?" Leela asked. The girl looked around, searching for courage. She finally answered, "I'm looking for Philip J. Fry. He's my father."
A girl appears.
Girl- What the hell? Where am I? Oh my god! I’m in Star Trek! Where’s Kirk?
Q- Welcome to the courtroom. You’re Hornet, right?
Hornet- Yeah. Q! If you’re all-knowing, shouldn’t you know my name? What do mean courthouse? Wait! This means it’s TNG. Damn! I really wanted to meet Captain Kirk.
"I don't think she likes me!"
"Nonsense! She adores you!"
"No, I really don't think so. She keeps giving me strange looks and making me drop my pants."
Back at the ship. Back in his room. Alone. He picked up the knife. ‘I don’t want to get over it!’ he told the voices. He wanted to hold onto the little hope inside, the little hope he had left. He cut into the soft skin of his arm, watching the blood flow out, calming him. He felt rational again.
~You want to know who this is cutting? You want to know who this is? I'll tell you who it is, it's ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX. NO I AM NOT JOKING. ZAPHOD FRIGGING BEEBLEBROX.
ut uut up, okay?" Jason had both feet planted on the floor again. "Just shut the fuck up and let me finish."
“How can you even say that, Orlando! I wash my underwear- once a year!” The Ming Garden Rapist yelled. The burning in his groin intensified and he screamed, “Ah, fuck it! Who cares about underwear!” Breathing heavily, he ripped off his panties and revealed his startling erection.
“L, Logan,”
“Shut up I said,”
“Yes Logan,”
“What did I tell you to call me!?” Logan grabbed him by the caller and slammed him into the wall again.
“Yes, Master,” Pietro said pulling Logan’s head down to his neck. Logan gladly began to bite. “Harder,” Pietro moaned.
Picard, eyebrows slowly climbed up his head.
Daria: I'm wearing a fur bikini under my clothes. My boobs are so warm, I wonder if you'll get burned next time you play with them
Tom. (leaves)
Stacy: Not my dildos. They are all I have.
Mr. Rowe: They're all you'll ever get you mean.
Stacy: Thats really smart. Why didn't I think of that?
Jane: Because you're not smart.
She’s pretty, he thought as he glanced at her.He was glad he wasn’t human, otherwise he would be as red as a chilli pepper.
He’s only got one eye, Yuffie revised the facts. But the eye that he’s got is very pretty, she stated in her mind. And he’s, well, an animal, she thought. No, not an animal, she quickly decided. A different race. She felt her face getting all red. But he's so wonderful... What am I thinking? I like him, but we’re just good friends. Or are we? Does he hate me? Oh gawd, he hates me and thinks I’m a stupid brat.
Harry uses Polyjuice Potion to seduce girls as Draco Malfoy. Draco gets blamed for the girls getting pregnant.
Voldemort sits down next to him, wakes him up, so he is sitting next to Voldemort, who tells him, "I too am gay..Harry..."
Celeborn’s POV.
Oh, Valars! I hate orcs so much! Look what they’ve done to that poor little boy. And Galadriel, my beloved wife, she has watched everything through her mirror.
Dee pulled the knife as close as possible. "Feel of my skin." Dee put a cold hand to Ryo's face. "It is cold as ice, is it not?" Ryo nodded, "Once you left me, my heart became an empty black hole and I could not function without your guidance."
"If suicide is what you really want that do it. I have no reason to stop you anymore." Ryo gave him one final glance. "Do it and I shall finish myself along with you." He took his gun from its holster.
"Ryo, please. You have so much to live for. I have nothing." Dee spoke as Ryo knocked the knife out of Laytner's hand. Randy took Dee's hand into his and covered it.
"Please Dee, you can't do this!" Ryo felt his tears fall again as Dee brought his knife to his throat to his neck this time. "NO DEE! Please don't!" He fell to his knees begging for his partner to not go and kill himself.
"Take your clothes off, Kathryn. Take them off and let me love you."
He hit his combadge, only to hear a flat dead sounding chirp
He cupped her breast in his hand studying its shape and weight. Its soft liquid movement against his fingers added fuel to his growing arousal.
He opened the door and closed it quietly behind him, shuffling almost into the space before the door, and at the foot of my bed.
"Just hang on a sec. I'm pretty naked and I need some clothes before I deal with you." I heard a chuckle and froze. Viggo Mortensen was not in my bedroom. Someone younger and British was in there. My head popped out of the door and I almost 'eeped' in surprise. It was Orlie! And damn did he look good!
He was quick on his feet and managed to slip an arm around my waist before I got much better aquatinted with the carpet.
"It's okay. Everyone has their moments." His voice. Oh, his voice. It was so crisp yet so informal. Like he was eternally on pot or something.
I had decided, of course, somewhere around week 2 and, when my Shakespeare teacher pronounced Montegue wrong, and I had a research paper on the cultural influences of music in Roman society due in about three hours, that I needed a boyfriend. I needed Orlando.
Hermione sprawled out on the royal blue silk covered rock, her shining metallic tail flowed over the rock. Dipping her head back and groaning, she closed her eyes and arched her back. Her bare breasts rose sensually and her long silky straightened hair fluttered gracefully over the rocks edge.
“Yes sir?” shivered Malarkey in his dark olive trench coat to keep himself temperate.
The date is November 18, 1945; they were on a recon mission in the hostile lands of Carentan, France. The whole Easy company and Fox company were there to destroy a concentration camp and liberate a thousand tortured Jews, they were just waiting for the scouts to return how many Germans(“crouts”) were guarding the gate and how many were on the watchtowers.
This is something different. I wanted to write a story like this coz this is stuff I'm interested in and I used Lily and James etc… but I changed them. There is no magic and there is no Hogwarts. It's set in medieval times, probably about four hundred years ago when there were no guns and other modern stuff. Instead there are bow and arrow and swords and stuff.
The Moon was high in the sky and its light shone down onto the large palace that overlooked a miraculous city. The sixteen year old princesses balcony stuck out of the palace further then any other and tonight she danced upon it, loving the feeling of being alone and free for she knew it would not last forever.
Recently the prince of Shar, their neighbouring land, had asked Lily's parents, the King and Queen of Moon, if he could have her hand in marriage and in the process unite the two lands as one. Her parents were rapt. This was exactly what they wanted for their people and for their daughter and so without even asking her of her opinion, they had accepted. The next day, Lily was to leave on the five-day journey to the Palace of Shar to be united with her soon-to-be husband.
"Thinking about fairy tales and adventures again?" asked her mother bitterly. Lily bit her lip and felt disappointed that she didn't have a better relationship with her mother.
"More dresses, mother?" asked Lily dully. She hated dresses and preferred to pants but she was princess and she knew the rules.
Being careful not to step on the crab, Mario delivers a clean, swift gouge to the crab's middle section. The poor, defenceless crab is now lying dead on the sidewalk. Mario stab into the crab. Blood spurts. It lies dead before Mario.
Deep inside a man’s body if you touch the right button, the man would love you forever.
“What happened to you?” asked Remus Lupin, best surviving friend of Sirius Black.
“Dumbledore,” replied Sirius, slurring heavily. He had been drinking for an hour at least before Remus found him. Apparently, finding out that you have a thirteen-year-old daughter is a bit much, although it can cause quite an addiction to alcohol.
It was a few months later that Dumbledore was finally able to catch Sakhmet and make her agree to meet her father. When asked why she didn’t want to meet Sirius, she answered, “You see, Luke Skywalker didn’t have a father either. He grew up to be a great guy, but when he finally did meet his dad, it turned out to be Darth Vader, the majorly icky big bad guy. And then Darth Vader cut off his arm.” Although Albus Dumbledore didn’t quite understand this, not being very well acquainted with Muggle television, he understood her point slightly.
~Ah, angry author rant time.
Also, you say you're a writer. I call myself that as well. Sadly, I often come across people who call themselves a writer, who take an obscene amount of joy in belittling other people's work. No matter how terrible a fic is, I always encourage people to write, and point out the best bits. I really hate communities like this, where people go round slagging off other people for their own self-aggrandisement. No doubt you'll have lots of fun picking apart this post, because people like you have to be the best - the loudest at parties, the one who everyone fancies... and yet the loudest noise of all is that abyss in your heart where your twisted soul has decomposed.
Lynzey Kay Dumbledore
"Please! Mistress Crane! You have to push!"
"I am trying! Oh blast this child! The devil's child!" cried Katrina.
The mid-wife's apprentice, whose name was Rose, gasped. "Oh do not say such things Mistress Crane! For surely if you do the child will be a devil's child. Worshiping Satan and practicing witchcraft." Rose whispered to the mid-wife and Katrina.
Katrina did her best to roll her eyes. Witchcraft wasn't complete evil, but she continued to push and after a few more moments she heard the wailing of her new child.
"What should we name her?" Katrina asked softly.
"How about Rebecca?" Masbath suggested.
"I was thinking of Mary." Katrina put in.
"Aris." Ichabod seemed to announce as if that was the final answer.
"Aris?" Katrina asked.
"Aris Tottle Crane." Ichabod explained, "After the philosopher."
Katrina smiled."It's a lovely name. Aris it is." Katrina agreed.
Masbath looked annoyed. I still like Rebecca. he thought.
“Harry, male pregnancies can happen, but we have to be careful!”
Ginny Weasley is a bi sexual.
She discovered it when she couldn’t kiss her friends on the cheeks without feeling a tingle go down her spine.
At first she thought she was a lesbian. But she still had crushes on boys.
Then she met Arial. She was a Griffendor. She noticed Ginny’s behavior and helped her out.
They became friends instantly. They became girlfriends in 5th year. They were secret lovers. They had boyfriends by day…and sometimes nights.
They placed bets to see who could get a certain boy or girl. Sometimes they would see if they could have a certain amount of sex in a time period.
Call them sluts if you will, they probably wouldn’t care.
They had a genuine love for each other.
Nobody called them sluts because many don’t remember their sexcapades.
Most had their minds blanked of that night. They would think they were studying or sleeping.
Everything was clean, everything was perfect. You could see the effects of the town right in Sportacus’ airship.
Amelia sighed. She hated it. And just up until last month was she allowed to leave and start her own life. This was normal, except no one actually left, except Sportacus of course. They only arrived. But then, Sportacus was the golden child and that could be overlooked. Besides, he was out to do a good thing.
~Oh my god. Lazytown Sue.
LAZYTOWN SUE OH GOD
“My son, Harry James Potter or Tom Anus Riddle is probably too noble to join me.”
Let me ask you a question then, just so I know you are up to speed for this class.” He said and I nodded. “What does the incantation Lente Sincie Diem mean?” I smiled at him again. You would have to speak Latin to know what that meant.
Grabbing his Cloak of Invisibility (an item dear not only for it's power of hiding it's wearer from sight, but also by virtue of it being his father,murdered by Lord Voldemort 13 years before), he wrapped himself in it and slipped down the stairs to the common room.
My friends I have found her. I have at long last found my daughter and I have found her at long last.
I have so many more, but this'll do for now. ENJOY.
You know what I haven't done in a while? A DOTT screencap post. But besides that, an update. But besides that, a songpost. BUT BESIDES THAT
a badfic quote post.
The thing is that I still collect badfic quotes, I just haven't been posting them cause I'm lazy or forget. GAFF has gotten really laggy recently, so I haven't been poking around there lately either, although writers_orgasm is a great source for weird stuff, along with babb_chronicles and badfic_quotes and stuff.
All quotes are from real fics! Things in italics are comments by other people, and things in italics with a ~ in front of them are my comments. Some of these might be old (has it been a year or something since I last did one of these? dang) but I went and poked through what I had marked in my memories and this was where they started, so if I posted some of these before then GET OVER IT.
Will scar your brain for life! I made a tag for the old badfic quote posts out of boredom - voila. NOT WORK SAFE. OR BRAIN SAFE.
NOT. WORK. SAFE. And will possibly destroy fond childhood memories.
And if, perchance, you were to make the wrong choice, don't lament when your child becomes an alien-sympathizing, subvocal, homosexual, technocratic Nazi.
Dwarfs have been driven deep into their house of stone, in fear of whom they might find strolling on their doorstep.
*doorbell rings*
*dwarves look outside suspiciously*
Sauron: Don't mind me, I'm just taking a stroll. Doodedo.
Charlie Brown lay on his bed in his room playing with his little dick and thinking about the pretty little red-haired girl. She was so cute and he was sure he was in love with her. He wanted her so badly and she was all he ever thought about. He remembered the first time he saw her on the way to school. She had been in front of him some twenty feet and her little ass was making her pretty green dress swing from side to side, high enough so that every once in a while he got a glimpse of her white panties stretched over her cute ass.
"Wow, sis," he said, "that feels great. Where'd you learn that?"
"Frmph mflimfufs," she responded, his cock completely inside her hot little mouth.
"LINUS!?" Charlie Brown shouted, "Linus showed you this?"
just in time for him to see the first of four little boy-spurts
Go marching two by two, hurrah.
Lucy roared with laughter as her little brother tumbled around on the floor. She fell backward and rolled on the floor, holding her stomach, her skinny legs up in the air, her little white panties clearly visible to the approaching Snoopy.
The dog eyed the crotch in front of him, dropped the blanket and sniffed.
'Whoa!' he thought, 'pussy smell.' He stuck his wet nose deeper into her crotch, poking into the little slit beneath the panties.
Snoopy's a fiend. All this time, I would never have suspected. I mean, it makes me wonder if all that time he was pretending to fly on the doghouse, if he was just out crusing for ass.
"Snoopy," she managed to pull her mouth off his prick and blurt out, "fuck my pussy, my pussy, not my mouth."
I would consider leaving a "WTF" review for the author, but I figure that logic, decency, and good old common sense make about as much sense to him as the adults on Charlie Brown make to us.
Sane Person: Um, this is sick shit.
Author hears: *Woh-woh-woh* *Woh-woh*
Other Sane Person: Do you actually jerk off to this stuff? They're eight years old, you twisted fuck. Get professional help!
Author hears: *Woh-woh-woh-woh.* *Growl* *Woh-woh-woh*
Whoever owns “THE INCREDIBLES”:
"I HATE YOU WHOEVER MADE THIS MOVIE; THE END WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO HORRIBLE! VIOLET IS SUPPOSED TO REMAIN GOTHIC DON’T YOU GUYS WATCH TEEN TITANS AT ALL? SHE’S SUPPOSED TO STAY HIDDEN BEHIND HER HAIR….AND HOW DARE YOU PUT HER IN PINK (OOH, GROSSSSS!) CLOTHES! AND I HATE HATE HATE, I REPEAT, HATE, HEADBANDS! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP HER GOTHIC AND TALKING IN A MONOTONOUS VOICE AND HIDING BEHIND HER DARK BLACK HAIR AND WRITING DARK, EEERIE, CREEPY, GOTHIC POETRY AND I REPEAT, I HATE HEADBANDS! NO ONE GOTHIC WEARS HEADBANDS! VIOLET IS SUPPOSED TO REMAIN DARK AND GOTHIC AND CREEPY AND LIKE RAVEN (FROM TEEN TITANS), AND DEPRESSED AND DARK AND HIDDEN, AND SHE SHOULD ONLY LOVE SOMEONE LIKE ROBIN (BUT NOT ROBIN, FOR ROBIN BELONGS TO RAVEN, FOREVERMORE!), BUT NOT THAT BOY THAT IS SHOWN IN THE END!I HATE THE END!AND I HATE HEADBANDS!AND WHAT ABOUT THE PROPHECY! HUH? CAN”T THERE BE A GOTHIC, EERIE, DEPRESSING PROPHECY! AND I HATE HEADBANDS, I REPEAT, I HATE HEADBANDS, I REPEAT….FOREVERMORE, I HATE HEADBANDS AND I HATE PINK!
Sincerely,
XraraOfTheDARK, Raven Of The Shadows Azerath
HI!!! I am a HEADBAND and I am so pleased to be talk to you!! Sorry, Anglish is not my first language, I speak HEADBAND! Headband is good things. We keep your hair out of a face when you are doing an Aerobics Work Out. When you sweat much, Terry Headband keeps forehead cool, dry, pleasing! It is a useful thinng. Headband is fashion! We come in many colors, any color you want!! You can decorate headband to match an out fit, with lace, seequins, glitter, whatever fancies you. Headband comes in diverse fabric such as terry, jersey, cotton, satin, embroidery, lace, kerchief- any pattern and color. Headband is life-saving! It keeps messy hairs out of eyes for important tasks as CPR, swim rescuing, ambulatory driver, emmergencies. Hairs in eyes makes seeing blind, that is dangerous! Also headband look flatters all hair styles, colors, types, man and women. Headband is welcoming to all!
The girls at my school are spoiled, evil BITCHES. Especially Prince Charming and Cinderella’s daughter Charmerella
The Great King Alexander could not believe that he has been ordered, albeit indirectly, by this man to shut up.
Aragorn: AHH!! IT'S YOU!"
Me: shuttup aggie you're bribery
aragorn: again?
Me: HALDIR SING!!
Naytoma,
Sorry I couldnt have been a better mother. I left 5 million dollers on the table for you.
whose water was mixed with sweat and cuntal juices of the two sexy girls
R2 hadn´t become the royal pleasure droid for nothing. Handmaidens, Queens, Senators, and every other girl had enjoyed him already.
R2's phallic probe sucked in the honey and pussy juices of Beru for later use
He tooted loudly and long for one final time and pushed his rod even deeper than before, shooting his oil and droid cum fluids, as well as Beru's earlier collected juices back into her womb, filling her up
Oil, I can understand. A droid would have oil (Though am not entirely sure what the effects are of it being inside a woman. Presumably she has to keep away from fire). Beru's juices (but not her honey-R2 has to sell that larer) also I can understand. The author explained how he got that-but Droid CUM! What the hell is that? Did R2's creator just thing "Hey, let's give this Droid a completely useless fluid!" just before alcohol was banned during researches?
The final drops of honey mixed with droid oil tasted wonderfully sweet and addicting.
There's the honey again. And, why would oil taste good? Did said drunk scientist decide that instead of being powered on just any oil, R2 would be powered on oil fused with ginger and cocoa? I hope he got the sack.
Beru knew what pleasure C3PO could give, based on what Shmi had told her from time to time.
~::jaw drops::
Padmé, Anakin, R2 and C3PO left Tatooine. Beru looked after them in the sky, while they raced across the stars, and hoped she would meet Padme again one day.
Now, unlike most GAFF, I would like to see a sequel, because there's so many questions unanswered.
What happened to Owen and his father? Since it is their property, why aren't they there? Why isn't Beru worried about this at all?
In the absence of the author writing one, here's my suggestion, entitled "R2D2-CyberPimp"
R2D2 started in the time of the Old Republic a career of porn producing, droid escort services, honey sales, and slave trade. This helped him gain much more in the way of money to the point that when the New Republic started, he owned one quarter of the planets. He was known as "Pimp Daddy R2" and became even more popular for his gold chains, fur coats, and Hip-Hop albums.
With his money, he paid a droid mechanist to implant a program that enabled him to say the word "bee-atch" which soon became C-3PO's official name.
"Laura, hoe 'bout you go to sleep.
"That was a Freudian slip, if you couldn't tell, Whora. I mean, Laura. That was another Freudian slip, there."
Modesty landed right in the middle of a forest.
"Uhh deja vu...."
She stood up, still clutching the wand in her hand.
Link woke up, with a throbbomg headach.
“I want to make love to you, Legolas. That is what I want,” Glorfindel said to him and continued: “Do you know that you are the beautiful elf that I have ever seen?” He saw that Legolas still had his mouth open with shock, and reached over to kiss the honeyed lips. Legolas drew back when he saw that Glorfindel wanted to kiss him. Glorfindel followed him, until Legolas found himself up against Glorfindel’s horse. He saw that Glorfindel’s eyes were closed. Just as Glorfindel was closing in for the kiss, Legolas quickly moved to the side so that Glorfindel kissed the horse’s arse instead.
Legolas was now feeling ashamed for what he had done, but knew that there was nothing he could do. What is done, is done. You cannot, move the wheel back, only forward. He turned away, feeling ashamed of himself, so he couldn’t what Glorfindel was doing. After several minutes, he felt a rope being tied around his body tightly. It was beginning to cut off his blood flow.
“What are you doing?” Legolas whispered to him.
“Now I will make sure that you will pay,” Glorfindel said to him.
Legolas couldn’t breathe as he felt the rope press his bones near his lungs. He was beginning to turn blue - death was near. He could feel it, and saw the Halls of Mandos open up to welcome him, and knew that death was touching him. Darkness overtook him before he lost consciousness.
“Now you are mine. I have desired you since I saw you for the first time at the council, and now you are mine,” Glorfindel said to him, desire shining in his eyes. Passion overtook him, and he took Legolas.
The pain was blinding. In tears, Legolas begged Glorfindel to stop, but Glorfindel did not hear him. Glorfindel continued pounding into Legolas’ body, driving harder and deeper; he was totally beyond any reason.
“Stop, please stop.” Legolas whispered, but knowing it was futile.
Legolas eyes were full of misery and sadness. He felt useless, like a mouse in the corner.
Glorfindel took a deep breath before continuing his story. He did not dare to look at Elrond. "They dragged me to a large rock and draped me over it. They tied my hands together so tightly that they began to bleed. Then they spread my legs far apart and…they raped me, one after the other. And I loved it.” A smile appeared on Glorfindel’s face. “Yes, Elrond, believe it or not, I loved it, and I asked for more…”
Elrond looked at him, horrified. He felt pity for his friend, but he swallowed when he heard Glorfindel's words, "I do not need your pity!"
"That is what changed you?" Elrond asked.
"They beat me badly, but it was somehow a turning point in my life. As they raped me, I could feel a great power fill my body, building up inside of me… it felt good. For the first time, I felt alive…"
HARRY: Professor Snape is trying to kill me!
HAGRID: Nonsense; he kicked that habit a long time ago. He hasn’t killed a student in almost four years.
Sango was kicking and screaming the entire time. “ how dare you, you giant pussy, put me down!”
And her brother had a brain full of tea.
"Build me an omlet worthy of Mordor."
“I don’t want to hurt Bridget,
She is a nice kid, But if I don’t marry Eyowen,
I fear I’ll be dead.”
She walked up to me and kiss me. Her hands ran through my hair. When he tongue entered my mouth I felt my toes curls. She had a couple of inches on me and bent my head down. She slammed a fist into my stomach hard twisting it. I screamed in pain and fail to the ground. Paris laughed. I was shock. I never been hit that hard before. Especially by a woman.
Now there's a twist on an old standard. The writer is getting beaten up by his sex symbols!
"You think you actually would win. You think we were actually going to let you fuck this million dollar pussy" Paris said standing over me lifting her skirt. She had no panties on and was dripping wet. She tease me parting her lips "Look at this. This is something you poor self won’t have. All you can do is just jerk of a wish you have this. Wish you had this pussy only a millionaire can have. You act like your better then me but you know you do anything just to get a touch of this pussy. I run and empire. Get everything I want and it not a damm thing you can do about."
Joyce had a lezbian experience in college.
It was like a lesbian experience but more x-treme and to the MAX.
Any relation to real life people is attentional
She was looking so sexy in the empty dark room, in her summer-tight pink shirt, with jeans so tight that you are able to feel the texture of her skin. he leaned her on the bed until she was fully on her back then got into kissing a little more. Harry didnt know what to do until she told him to take off his shirt,
EVS: This just in! Summer makes pink shirts tight! Thousands die in San Francisco! More at eleven.
He pushed his thumb against her clit and she yelled out a quiet but meanningful moan. After about 5 min. of fingering her they both took off all there cloths.Harry took out his rock hard british cock and dabbed it on her lips until she opened her mouth.
She opened her mouth and pushed it from cheeck to cheek with her tounge, crookshanks left the room with a whine. After nice oral pleasuring, Harry flipped her over on her knees and spread her legs open. He ate her from side to side until she started to have an orgasm. He didnt want her to cum yet and she didnt want him to cum, or in zacks case, not come at all. he fucked her condom free and she moaned so loud. Her smooth skin and her face so horny. her clit was so pink and she was shaved that you would mistaken her for a pedoliciouse girl. after hours of long and hard fucking they both came as she was riding his cock. one last moan and they fell to the bed side by side. this was the best day at hogwarts that they both have ever had. That is until hagrid came in and shoved his missive-barrell sized cock into hermione until she bled to death, but for harry it was a dream come true
Liberty AKA Nymphomania Tonks
Liberty, however knew what was going on as she was sent to Degrassi to prevent weird things from happening by Albus Dumbledore.
“There’s something you’re not telling us?” Said Ginny.
"I'm not really a man, I'm a woman." said Harry.
"Oh my God! You're a woman?" replied Ginny.
"I'm not really a woman, I'm a horse."
"You're a horse?"
"I'm not really a horse, I'm a broom." said Harry falling to the ground as a broom.
As they approached the Gate the Ministry workers watched them with smirks on their faces.
Stupid Bustards,
Bustards: (n) A child born to two, unwed parents who conceived a child and gave birth to it in the back of a bus.
She had amber eyes, while his were a deep sapphire blue
and they were all made of stone. That made it really, really problematic to cry. All that ever came out was gravel..
This is an alternate universe tale, based on the events of The Phantom Menace, but with one important digression. Think of it as what happens when Iaga's "Knight Moves," Ide Cyan's "Purple Dreams," and the horror that is The Darth Maul Journal collide in my sick and twisted imagination. This is not how I see Maul in The Phantom Menace, but how I think he should have turned out based on his backstory from The Darth Maul Journal. I must also claim some inspiration from Adalisa's "Puppyverse" series. I've never read it, but I've heard the premise, and it most likely influenced my brainstorming.
He was a knight, raised from padawan status through a centuries-old loophole. "Kill a Sith, become a knight," Mace Windu had explained. "It's like a battlefield promotion. Even though we thought the Sith were extinct, we still kept that on the books, just in case. You don't need to go through the trials, but we can still have a knighting ceremony for you when we get home."
"You killed my master. You are my master now."
"And how do you figure that?"
"You were stronger than my former master. You have earned his position, and deserve my allegiance."
Oh! Oh, okay. Obi Won just killed Sideous. Okay, nods, okay sure. I guess there is no reason for the FIVE OTHER MOVIES BECAUSE SIDEOUS IS DEAD SO YOU CAN HAVE YOUR STUPID FIC ABOUT REFORMING MAUL BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUPID ASS!
The dark-robed figure unclipped his lightsaber and handed it to Obi-Wan, who handed it back to Depa without a glance. He then reached into his boot and pulled out a vibro-shiv, then dug a garrote and a dagger out of his tunic and handed them all to Obi-Wan.
Vibro-Shiv?
Obi-Wan reached through the bars and grabbed Maul by the chin. Maul flinched at the touch, fear leaking back into his eyes. "If I find you've been causing trouble, then I won't come back. That is a threat I can make good on without breaking my Jedi vows."
"I want you to take menial jobs at substandard wages," Sidious said with a sneer.
"But Master, I have skills! I could take a real job. Be a stockbroker! Use the Force to manipulate the stock market and make billions!"
"No, my young apprentice. I need you to work in the service industry so you can further hone your anger and hatred for a wide variety of beings. Here, I've already filled out an application for you at Burger King. You have an interview in an hour."
Her mother handed her a bottle of dressing. It was obviously new due to the fact that the cheap price tag was still stuck precariously to the bottom.
First, and most importantly, who cares?
Second, precariously? Lily fears for the tag's safety as she rushes to get a cushion for the tag to fall on...
“We cannot discuss it here, Lily my girl! Quick, to Hogwarts!” replied her Headmaster in ecstasy.
She had glittering emerald eyes that made her stand out in any crowd.
Except when she wore a *hat*. Then she just *sucked*.
Lily, using the silver tongs her mother had laid out, began grabbing lettuce and transferring it to her plate. “Thanks mum,” she said with a genuine smile.
"Mom, have I told you recently how much I love you? And salad?"
“My dear Lily! You must be a tericyle! There hasn’t been one since the great Merlin himself!
It's a little known fact that Merlin was, in fact, a foot-pedal powered vehicle boasting 10^12 wheels.
Lily sat in awe over what she was hearing. “I have… special powers?” she croaked.
“Why yes, of course. You, like Merlin, can see with your eyes closed.” Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
"Why yes, of course. You, like Merlin, enjoy baked cod." Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
"Why yes, of course. You, like the characters from Ranma 1/2, take bread extremely seriously." Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
"Why yes, of course. The multiverse, as you know, contains a finite amount of matter." Lily nodded in understanding; it made a lot of sense.
“It seems as though the curse that broke the glass, the Cruciartus Curse, still lingers in your eyes. Its pain will be off and on over the next year or so.”
But the curse hit the salad bowl. Why should the curse be haunting Lily? Because it sounds better than the curse haunting the salad bowl?
"Yes, children, this is the old Evans place, and at night you can still hear the agonized screams of that poor young salad bowl so cruelly cut down...oh, and two other people died there as well, but that's not important."
“Courtney Baggins, daughter of Primula Brandybuck, I, Frodo Baggins am your half-brother. One of the three last remaining relatives on our mother’s side.”
Rebbeca was fed up. She was just out of the third X-Men movie to do a fashion show in Cannes. Rebbeca Romjin-Stamos plays the role of Mystique in the X-Men movies, so she made off her body to be naked for several hours. In that fashion show she was supposed to be full naked, with only a little tanga covering her groins and crotch. But she denied doing that. So, she was going to came out full dressed with a nice silk green dress very tight, like a swimming costume.
One of the lizardmen, the green and younger one, raised his hand.
-What? - said the brown lizardman.
-Can we fuck a female?- he said.
The whole pack agreed with him. They were horny as bulls in season since they left the lizardmen city, four days ago. They missed their females and didn't try to discharge their liquids into other male's asshole. The homosexual feelings didn't arise yet.
The lizardman released Rebecca's arms. He saw a tear running down her cheek. He realized about the feelings of that girl and about how soft her skin was. So he decided to rape her gently.
•Author note: I am not sure how to rape somebody gently.
The brown lizardman kept his hands on her hips and leaned his body over her back and licked her, running his tongue over, making nice round movements. He just kept his shaft inside that tight ass, and didn't start to push in and pull out yet. When he started, she surely started to moan really heavy. The lizard women of his city enjoyed a lot with him, surely the humans will enjoy too. So, he started to mount her like a wild horse. Without care, he pulled out and pumped in with frenzy rhythm, using the strength of his powerful legs and hips, using all his well-built muscles. He needed to pump harder and faster, so he put his left foot on her left asscheek and grabbed it with his toes and paws, and increased the number of humps per minute.
She felt something on her buttocks. A foot! That rapist put a foot on her buttocks to give stronger humps inside her.
Rebbeca desired to be dead! When the lizardman grabbed her head, only one thought was in her mind. That he is about to cum all inside her mouth, and that she got to drink all of that nasty and repulsive scaly cum. She didn't want to drink it. She didn't want to! Why is she suffering this torture? What does she do? It was a mistake to be a model? Or what?
The brown lizardman took the ass of Rebbeca, that now was like a big brown hole in the middle of two pink and soft mountains of skin. He introduced his manhood inside without mercy and started to pump in and to push out without a steady rhythm. Sometimes he went slow, sometimes he went really fast, and sometimes like a fucking train.
The first lizardman who cam was the brown, inside Rebbeca's ass. Then the blue lizardman, who took his shaft out of her mouth and shot a wave of cum all over her eyes, nose and lips. Then, all the others, cumming not only on her face, but on her back, arms and legs. One shot hit her in the ear and the cum entered deep inside, so she got deaf from that ear.
With care, he stroked his recently sucked shaft and headed to the position of the brown lizardman.
-Is my turn in her asshole, fella.-
-I didn't finish yet.- said the brown lizardman between gritted teeth.
"It is Alisha Potter I hope you know what to do with her everyone thinks she is dead." he said.
"Well I thought she died along with Lily and James." she said
"I think she went and hid under her crib when Voldermort tried to kill her and Harry." Sirius said.
"Well all I can think of is to send her to live with Lily's youngest sister Rose in America. I think that is our only hope to save her." Arabella said.
"How do you know this?" Sirius asked Arabella.
"That is where Snape sent his daughter Tanya to hid her from Voldermort and I think that is where they are hiding Voldermorts only Daughter Whitney Nickole." Arabella said. "Also everyone here thinks she is dead but if she is in America no one will have the slightest idea she is alive."
Aithne looked at the train as she stood on platform 9¾ with a huge grin on her face, her piercing blue eyes alight with glee, wavy copper hair blowing in the wind.
Toad: So, we're prison buddies.
Wolvie: Looks like it.
Toad: We should bust out.
Wolvie: Tried already.
Toad: Hopefully my guys will get me soon.
Wolvie: Same here.
Toad: So, you know what prison buddies traditionally do, yes?
Wolvie: Not bored enough yet.
Toad: Fair enough.
Wolvie: *yawn*
Toad: Does that mean you're bored?
Wolvie: Ah fuck. Yeah. Sure. I'm bored. Let's get this over with, okay?
Toad: So, top or bottom?
Wolvie: *snikt!* Whaddaya think?
Toad: Suits me fine. I'm self-lubricating.
Wolvie: I did NOT need to know that!
Toad: You were gonna find out soon enough.
“Maddem Pomfrey. Its Hermione...” Harry showed Maddem Pomfrey Hermermione who was so white you could hardly see her lips.He was the one who saw him come back, he had faced Voldmomnrt five times and survived them all!
redscharlach: I rather wish they had managed to make the spelling even worse, in order to produce Voldemoment. "When Death-Eaters have killed and tortured your entire family - that's a Volde-moment!"
"Evanescence Maria Moerow Avans you know I love you more than enything," He said using her whole name.
Lily Evans was saying good-bye to her freinds as she was transfering to Hogwarts. she had 7 freinds. There group consisted 8 freinds.
Emma Johnson, John Brandon, Luke, Alex Astrology (A/N: I know funny name isnt it but what can i do?) Brandon, Jude, Lucy Springs and last but not least Lily Evans.
"Join me, and I will spare you," whispered Voldiemort.
"Never" they all whispered.
"Then goodbye, Avakada."(Can't spell it)
“Fuck,” said Harry as he realised that voldimort had just cast an avadacadabara curse on him
Lily took some loo powder and threw it in the fireplace.
jenocclumency: Loo Powder!" New from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes! Guaranteed to trick your friends! No matter where they want to travel, they'll end up in the loo! Available in many scents.
If you guys were wondering why Hermionie would know spanish its because over the summer She went over to her friends house, me, and I taught her spanish!! Well please review!!!
Btw I do know grammer is bad. She's from New York. Us peoples can't talk here.
This is not your usual Lily FICS. This is one Lily and BRIAN along with the demon BELTHAZOR. U might be wondering what this is about. Lily does not marry James.
Sergius, glanced at Sable who was now staring at him with sweet wide cold dark black eyes.
The truth of the matter was simple I was you are the-boy-who-live and when you are that your friends would die because of being that but of course the friends who live with me now were in danger and that title pretty much died 5000 years ago when Voldemort died.
James is the Prince of Austria. NOT AU.
Draco's hand trailed down to vagina, and he began to rub softly. Hermione was in great thoughts now.
He slowly inserted a finger, and he rubbed it around in circles. Hermione was very horny, and she was ready to come when she did. It felt like the world was crashing down, she is a virgin, and she had just orgasmed, well she WAS a virgin.
Then his manhood entered her unmenthonables.
When Ron was defiantly in their room Harry asked, “Do you like me as in love me like me?”
I answered by saying, “Well ......... that’s a stupid question” not wanting to answer yes and be very embarrassed. He picked me up by my ass and kissed me passionately.
warning; sever swearing and slight nudity this girl who I own tries to get Harry to sleep with her in front of every body thing is she doesn't speak english,she speakes this weird language I like to call the 'ancient tongue of the angels' (example: Ie Louvei uyouy means: I love you) Its just basically gibberish.
“Ahh! Parlate italiano? Me a, i miei genitori non! Sexy, gradisco il vostro seno. (Ahh! You speak Italian? Me to, my parents don't! Sexy, i like your breast.)” He said, I was enraged. And I did not like him.
"skjnxdlknvlxnx.(That’s Transylvanian for "I think they found us!" )" Amanda said shakily.
bonsai__kitten: Transylvanian sounds an awful lot like the language I created while banging my head against the keyboard.
Since he was having double potions he was going to dress extra special today and since it was Friday and free dress code (Dumbledore thought that if letting the students be them selves they would excel academically mangy old coot) he wore, black baggy jeans with silver skulls lining the side, hems, and pockets, a black muscle shit (which I may add clung oh so goody to Harry's chest) that had the hem lined with silver skulls.
My eyes looked as clear and pure the sky. But when you look at them they just look cold and dark. Guess that's what you get from a goth.
"These are my kids." He whispered.
"Yes"-said Dumbledore. "Their called James, Sirius, Lilly, Remus, Harry, Hermoine, Cedric, Ginny and Albus."
"I have nine kids," shouted Harry.
"No Harry, you have three sets of twins."
It is all my moms fault I can describe a murder. She let me watch all those mob movie when I was little. So it is natural I now murders.
The next thing I saw was even more amazing than the boy walking or really running through the wall, she diapered!! She was gone! All gone nothing left of her!!! Then the other lady did to!!! OMG OMG OMG what just happened???
We in no way fight muggles. Dumbledore spread word that death eaters killed muggles when in fact are cause is to reunite muggles and wizards together and live in an open and free world where muggles and wizards can live next door to each other and send there children to the same schools.
Voldemort has a dream!
Harry Turned Around To Get A Look At This Mysterious Unknown Man, What He Saw Shocked Him. Behind Him Stood A Young Teenager About Harry's Age Standing At A Tower Six Feet Eight Inches Tall, Wearing All Black Dragon Hide Leather, A Leather Trench-Coat, A Piercing In His Left Ear Of A Silver Dragon, With A Plantium Chain With A Dragon Pendent, The Boy Was Loaded With Wepons Of All Sorts, He Had Two Short Swoards Under The Coat, Many Daggers And Throwing Items Concealed Over His Body, And A Goate'.
Harry’s silvery black eyes bore into Voldemorts, then Harry blasted Voldemort with a black energy beam from his mouth that totally destroyed Voldemort’s mind, body, and soul.
(A/n: take that red bull )
Hi Harry! Hope youre well and everything, bla bla. Something terrible has happened. Ginny just confessed to me that shes in love with - you never guess it - You-know-who!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.! The exclamation marks were necassary, I feel like !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.! .
She didn’t want this. She didn’t want to be shown around like a prized fish, she wanted to be alone.
Lily picked up her son and held him in her arms. His eyes resembled hers and harry's messy hair was no doubt from James. It was definently their son. And not by force, lily had freeingly given herself to James.
flattheseventh: Such a beautiful moment, as she reflects on how the conception of her son didn't involve rape.
Dear Harry,
I have been having a nice time here in Bulgaria. Viktor's family is so nice and Bulgarian.
Its been 2 months and I’ve changed quiet a lot. I ve achieved a exquisite tan and I’ve been playing a few mortal sports.
mmulberry: I myself prefer immortal sports: Elysian Fields hockey, rowing on the River Styx, Mount Olympus biking.
volandum: Don't forget swimming down Lethe.
julianlee: How could I do anything but forget?
Siruis - you are really not worth talking to . how can you bully your own son ------------- opps sorry ...
Snape - my son ..... HARRY POTTER IS MY SON ! HE IS NOT HARRY POTTER BUT IS HARRY HARRY SNAPE POTTER .....................
anaid_rabbit: Snape - .... HARRY SNAPE POTTER HARRY POTTER SNAPE.... delete... delete whole disk... memory loss... system terminated...
“Great I’m starved.” Ron said and placed a hand full of chicken legs on his plate and started to eat. “What’s this?” Ty asked looking at pickled dick. “Pickled dick.” Hermione said. “No thanks I’ll just have some chicken.”
~S: How does Hermione know? I guess that rubber phallus WAS for research!
Sahara Sydney Snape
Leela opened the door to see this young teenage girl. She was very pretty, with orange hair, and blue eyes. "Can I help you?" Leela asked. The girl looked around, searching for courage. She finally answered, "I'm looking for Philip J. Fry. He's my father."
A girl appears.
Girl- What the hell? Where am I? Oh my god! I’m in Star Trek! Where’s Kirk?
Q- Welcome to the courtroom. You’re Hornet, right?
Hornet- Yeah. Q! If you’re all-knowing, shouldn’t you know my name? What do mean courthouse? Wait! This means it’s TNG. Damn! I really wanted to meet Captain Kirk.
"I don't think she likes me!"
"Nonsense! She adores you!"
"No, I really don't think so. She keeps giving me strange looks and making me drop my pants."
Back at the ship. Back in his room. Alone. He picked up the knife. ‘I don’t want to get over it!’ he told the voices. He wanted to hold onto the little hope inside, the little hope he had left. He cut into the soft skin of his arm, watching the blood flow out, calming him. He felt rational again.
~You want to know who this is cutting? You want to know who this is? I'll tell you who it is, it's ZAPHOD BEEBLEBROX. NO I AM NOT JOKING. ZAPHOD FRIGGING BEEBLEBROX.
ut uut up, okay?" Jason had both feet planted on the floor again. "Just shut the fuck up and let me finish."
“How can you even say that, Orlando! I wash my underwear- once a year!” The Ming Garden Rapist yelled. The burning in his groin intensified and he screamed, “Ah, fuck it! Who cares about underwear!” Breathing heavily, he ripped off his panties and revealed his startling erection.
“L, Logan,”
“Shut up I said,”
“Yes Logan,”
“What did I tell you to call me!?” Logan grabbed him by the caller and slammed him into the wall again.
“Yes, Master,” Pietro said pulling Logan’s head down to his neck. Logan gladly began to bite. “Harder,” Pietro moaned.
Picard, eyebrows slowly climbed up his head.
Daria: I'm wearing a fur bikini under my clothes. My boobs are so warm, I wonder if you'll get burned next time you play with them
Tom. (leaves)
Stacy: Not my dildos. They are all I have.
Mr. Rowe: They're all you'll ever get you mean.
Stacy: Thats really smart. Why didn't I think of that?
Jane: Because you're not smart.
She’s pretty, he thought as he glanced at her.He was glad he wasn’t human, otherwise he would be as red as a chilli pepper.
He’s only got one eye, Yuffie revised the facts. But the eye that he’s got is very pretty, she stated in her mind. And he’s, well, an animal, she thought. No, not an animal, she quickly decided. A different race. She felt her face getting all red. But he's so wonderful... What am I thinking? I like him, but we’re just good friends. Or are we? Does he hate me? Oh gawd, he hates me and thinks I’m a stupid brat.
Harry uses Polyjuice Potion to seduce girls as Draco Malfoy. Draco gets blamed for the girls getting pregnant.
Voldemort sits down next to him, wakes him up, so he is sitting next to Voldemort, who tells him, "I too am gay..Harry..."
Celeborn’s POV.
Oh, Valars! I hate orcs so much! Look what they’ve done to that poor little boy. And Galadriel, my beloved wife, she has watched everything through her mirror.
Dee pulled the knife as close as possible. "Feel of my skin." Dee put a cold hand to Ryo's face. "It is cold as ice, is it not?" Ryo nodded, "Once you left me, my heart became an empty black hole and I could not function without your guidance."
"If suicide is what you really want that do it. I have no reason to stop you anymore." Ryo gave him one final glance. "Do it and I shall finish myself along with you." He took his gun from its holster.
"Ryo, please. You have so much to live for. I have nothing." Dee spoke as Ryo knocked the knife out of Laytner's hand. Randy took Dee's hand into his and covered it.
"Please Dee, you can't do this!" Ryo felt his tears fall again as Dee brought his knife to his throat to his neck this time. "NO DEE! Please don't!" He fell to his knees begging for his partner to not go and kill himself.
"Take your clothes off, Kathryn. Take them off and let me love you."
He hit his combadge, only to hear a flat dead sounding chirp
He cupped her breast in his hand studying its shape and weight. Its soft liquid movement against his fingers added fuel to his growing arousal.
He opened the door and closed it quietly behind him, shuffling almost into the space before the door, and at the foot of my bed.
"Just hang on a sec. I'm pretty naked and I need some clothes before I deal with you." I heard a chuckle and froze. Viggo Mortensen was not in my bedroom. Someone younger and British was in there. My head popped out of the door and I almost 'eeped' in surprise. It was Orlie! And damn did he look good!
He was quick on his feet and managed to slip an arm around my waist before I got much better aquatinted with the carpet.
"It's okay. Everyone has their moments." His voice. Oh, his voice. It was so crisp yet so informal. Like he was eternally on pot or something.
I had decided, of course, somewhere around week 2 and, when my Shakespeare teacher pronounced Montegue wrong, and I had a research paper on the cultural influences of music in Roman society due in about three hours, that I needed a boyfriend. I needed Orlando.
Hermione sprawled out on the royal blue silk covered rock, her shining metallic tail flowed over the rock. Dipping her head back and groaning, she closed her eyes and arched her back. Her bare breasts rose sensually and her long silky straightened hair fluttered gracefully over the rocks edge.
“Yes sir?” shivered Malarkey in his dark olive trench coat to keep himself temperate.
The date is November 18, 1945; they were on a recon mission in the hostile lands of Carentan, France. The whole Easy company and Fox company were there to destroy a concentration camp and liberate a thousand tortured Jews, they were just waiting for the scouts to return how many Germans(“crouts”) were guarding the gate and how many were on the watchtowers.
This is something different. I wanted to write a story like this coz this is stuff I'm interested in and I used Lily and James etc… but I changed them. There is no magic and there is no Hogwarts. It's set in medieval times, probably about four hundred years ago when there were no guns and other modern stuff. Instead there are bow and arrow and swords and stuff.
The Moon was high in the sky and its light shone down onto the large palace that overlooked a miraculous city. The sixteen year old princesses balcony stuck out of the palace further then any other and tonight she danced upon it, loving the feeling of being alone and free for she knew it would not last forever.
Recently the prince of Shar, their neighbouring land, had asked Lily's parents, the King and Queen of Moon, if he could have her hand in marriage and in the process unite the two lands as one. Her parents were rapt. This was exactly what they wanted for their people and for their daughter and so without even asking her of her opinion, they had accepted. The next day, Lily was to leave on the five-day journey to the Palace of Shar to be united with her soon-to-be husband.
"Thinking about fairy tales and adventures again?" asked her mother bitterly. Lily bit her lip and felt disappointed that she didn't have a better relationship with her mother.
"More dresses, mother?" asked Lily dully. She hated dresses and preferred to pants but she was princess and she knew the rules.
Being careful not to step on the crab, Mario delivers a clean, swift gouge to the crab's middle section. The poor, defenceless crab is now lying dead on the sidewalk. Mario stab into the crab. Blood spurts. It lies dead before Mario.
Deep inside a man’s body if you touch the right button, the man would love you forever.
“What happened to you?” asked Remus Lupin, best surviving friend of Sirius Black.
“Dumbledore,” replied Sirius, slurring heavily. He had been drinking for an hour at least before Remus found him. Apparently, finding out that you have a thirteen-year-old daughter is a bit much, although it can cause quite an addiction to alcohol.
It was a few months later that Dumbledore was finally able to catch Sakhmet and make her agree to meet her father. When asked why she didn’t want to meet Sirius, she answered, “You see, Luke Skywalker didn’t have a father either. He grew up to be a great guy, but when he finally did meet his dad, it turned out to be Darth Vader, the majorly icky big bad guy. And then Darth Vader cut off his arm.” Although Albus Dumbledore didn’t quite understand this, not being very well acquainted with Muggle television, he understood her point slightly.
~Ah, angry author rant time.
Also, you say you're a writer. I call myself that as well. Sadly, I often come across people who call themselves a writer, who take an obscene amount of joy in belittling other people's work. No matter how terrible a fic is, I always encourage people to write, and point out the best bits. I really hate communities like this, where people go round slagging off other people for their own self-aggrandisement. No doubt you'll have lots of fun picking apart this post, because people like you have to be the best - the loudest at parties, the one who everyone fancies... and yet the loudest noise of all is that abyss in your heart where your twisted soul has decomposed.
Lynzey Kay Dumbledore
"Please! Mistress Crane! You have to push!"
"I am trying! Oh blast this child! The devil's child!" cried Katrina.
The mid-wife's apprentice, whose name was Rose, gasped. "Oh do not say such things Mistress Crane! For surely if you do the child will be a devil's child. Worshiping Satan and practicing witchcraft." Rose whispered to the mid-wife and Katrina.
Katrina did her best to roll her eyes. Witchcraft wasn't complete evil, but she continued to push and after a few more moments she heard the wailing of her new child.
"What should we name her?" Katrina asked softly.
"How about Rebecca?" Masbath suggested.
"I was thinking of Mary." Katrina put in.
"Aris." Ichabod seemed to announce as if that was the final answer.
"Aris?" Katrina asked.
"Aris Tottle Crane." Ichabod explained, "After the philosopher."
Katrina smiled."It's a lovely name. Aris it is." Katrina agreed.
Masbath looked annoyed. I still like Rebecca. he thought.
“Harry, male pregnancies can happen, but we have to be careful!”
Ginny Weasley is a bi sexual.
She discovered it when she couldn’t kiss her friends on the cheeks without feeling a tingle go down her spine.
At first she thought she was a lesbian. But she still had crushes on boys.
Then she met Arial. She was a Griffendor. She noticed Ginny’s behavior and helped her out.
They became friends instantly. They became girlfriends in 5th year. They were secret lovers. They had boyfriends by day…and sometimes nights.
They placed bets to see who could get a certain boy or girl. Sometimes they would see if they could have a certain amount of sex in a time period.
Call them sluts if you will, they probably wouldn’t care.
They had a genuine love for each other.
Nobody called them sluts because many don’t remember their sexcapades.
Most had their minds blanked of that night. They would think they were studying or sleeping.
Everything was clean, everything was perfect. You could see the effects of the town right in Sportacus’ airship.
Amelia sighed. She hated it. And just up until last month was she allowed to leave and start her own life. This was normal, except no one actually left, except Sportacus of course. They only arrived. But then, Sportacus was the golden child and that could be overlooked. Besides, he was out to do a good thing.
~Oh my god. Lazytown Sue.
LAZYTOWN SUE OH GOD
“My son, Harry James Potter or Tom Anus Riddle is probably too noble to join me.”
Let me ask you a question then, just so I know you are up to speed for this class.” He said and I nodded. “What does the incantation Lente Sincie Diem mean?” I smiled at him again. You would have to speak Latin to know what that meant.
Grabbing his Cloak of Invisibility (an item dear not only for it's power of hiding it's wearer from sight, but also by virtue of it being his father,murdered by Lord Voldemort 13 years before), he wrapped himself in it and slipped down the stairs to the common room.
My friends I have found her. I have at long last found my daughter and I have found her at long last.
I have so many more, but this'll do for now. ENJOY.