ok i'm writing twice in one day
which is weird. but i do have to say this. Earlier on i was pissed off because i felt ignored and blown off and generally not-good-enough-for-them, and then i realized that if that's true, i have noone to blame but myself, and thats just really terribly depressing because i dont know what i'm doign wrong and why people don't care and maybe i'm judging all this on bad criteria, but having nothing else to judge it on, i have to continue to do so. so i will sigh and go on. and try not to be to pathetic in my attempts to make more people care about me. and to all you, my awsome special bestest friends, you know who you are, and that this is not directed towards you. its not really directed to anyone in particular. just felt the need to rant i guess. later.