astrology
It says in my chart that I have a great amount of universal spiritual love, but that intamacy is a hard one for me to establish.
I believe this is due to the fact that in my last life before this one I grew up partially in an ophanage and then in the ballet(which was rough) and then had many people love me from afar because of my entertaining status including dancing at clubs. I was a proponant of freedom and liberty. However, I think with the freedom of sex and many partners-mostly one after the other and one long term with a married man-well it left me detached. Which for some would be fine but for me with no experience of love as a child left me i the end - lonely. i must have carried that pattern into this life-because I was very unloved as a child this time.
So, I guess the challange is to establish intamacy and freedom, because underneath this detachment-I believe is a fear of attachment and dependancy. Now logically I know there is no for sures and I know I cannot own anyone....but openning up I may need or try to pull more than a person can give to fill this void.
I think I also may not be able to handle too many people at an intamate level do to the lack of exposure as a child to any kind of intamacy or even action with other people. We had no relatives to come by and no friends to come by and tat is how I grew up-in a cold home where no one talked to me much less gave me any love.
So, I think naturally there is a pattern of not much interaction there or natural positive grooves. I think this is a pattern I want to disolve.
I have been able to create for myself a very nice -clean and affordable place to live, so far, but not one filled with people I care to be very close to. This bother's me.
I look out and I see that there are many people out there like myself.
I also see that there are plenty of people with less love, less ethical, etc that have an easy time making and keeping friends.
It is my intention to make the situation better-2010
I tink it is the bridge from aquintance to friend that is a big leap for me and I am missing some pieces.
I believe this is due to the fact that in my last life before this one I grew up partially in an ophanage and then in the ballet(which was rough) and then had many people love me from afar because of my entertaining status including dancing at clubs. I was a proponant of freedom and liberty. However, I think with the freedom of sex and many partners-mostly one after the other and one long term with a married man-well it left me detached. Which for some would be fine but for me with no experience of love as a child left me i the end - lonely. i must have carried that pattern into this life-because I was very unloved as a child this time.
So, I guess the challange is to establish intamacy and freedom, because underneath this detachment-I believe is a fear of attachment and dependancy. Now logically I know there is no for sures and I know I cannot own anyone....but openning up I may need or try to pull more than a person can give to fill this void.
I think I also may not be able to handle too many people at an intamate level do to the lack of exposure as a child to any kind of intamacy or even action with other people. We had no relatives to come by and no friends to come by and tat is how I grew up-in a cold home where no one talked to me much less gave me any love.
So, I think naturally there is a pattern of not much interaction there or natural positive grooves. I think this is a pattern I want to disolve.
I have been able to create for myself a very nice -clean and affordable place to live, so far, but not one filled with people I care to be very close to. This bother's me.
I look out and I see that there are many people out there like myself.
I also see that there are plenty of people with less love, less ethical, etc that have an easy time making and keeping friends.
It is my intention to make the situation better-2010
I tink it is the bridge from aquintance to friend that is a big leap for me and I am missing some pieces.