Fic: You can do magic (you're the one who can put out the fire)
Part Three: (Remedies prescribed for those who are Bewitched with Inordinate Love)
Online is an ugly environment. Jared and Jensen go on Twitter, Facebook and Youtube. They go on reddit and magi blog sites and mundane blog sites and when they’re done they’re both silent and shaken.
“There’s an awful lot of hate out there,” Jensen says finally.
Jared nods. “It scares me sometimes,” he says. “Makes me wonder why the Lord and Lady are still bothering with us. Why not just throw us in the cosmic trash heap and start over?”
Jensen shrugs. “I guess they see something worth saving.”
Jared is feeling pretty dubious about that. “Even the mainstream media is saying some pretty ugly things.”
“That was Fox News,” Jensen says. “You can’t expect anything decent to come out of Fox News.”
“But still--”
Jensen interrupts him. “Let’s agree to go back to ignoring the media; mainstream and social. In my opinion, your dad’s right. The people making threats are just your loudmouthed keyboard warrior types. I don’t think either of us is at any genuine risk.”
Jared nods and decides not to tell Jensen that he thought someone had been following him today. He was probably just being paranoid.
“Oh,” Jensen says suddenly. “Professor Morgan gave me a couple of books on soulbonding. And he said that the Head Librarian is prepared to let us into the Restricted Section if Professor Morgan and one of the other librarians supervise us.”
Jared’s eyes light up. “Wow.”
“And,” Jensen adds, “apparently the world’s leading authority on soulbonding, the woman who wrote one of the books Professor Morgan gave me, wants to fly out from England to meet us.”
“Wow,” Jared says again.
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs. “We’re sort of turning into celebrities whether we want to or not.”
Jared can feel his despondency through the bond. They’re sitting side-by-side on the bed, legs outstretched, and Jared moves Jensen’s laptop and throws a leg over Jensen’s legs so that he can sit facing him, on his lap.
“I know how to make you feel better,” he says, leaning forward and resting his hands on the headboard, either side of Jensen’s head.
“Is that a fact?” Jensen’s tone is nonchalant, but his pupils are dark and Jared can feel the want zinging through his veins.
“Yeah,” he says and leans forward.
Jensen tips his head back and parts his lips and the kiss is long, deep and satisfying. Pretty soon Jared’s hands are in Jensen’s hair and Jensen’s hands are up underneath Jared’s tee-shirt, clawing at his back. They’re thrusting against each other and it’s just starting to get really good when a sharp, angry rapping at the bedroom door makes them spring apart.
“Guys, we’re trying to study,” Chris yells. “So stop making Charisma horny.”
Jared climbs off Jensen. “Sorry,” he calls.
“Fuck,” Jensen thunks his head back against the headboard. “We’re gonna need to get our own place.”
Jared couldn’t agree more.
They decide to take a metaphoric cold shower by reading the books on soulbonding that Professor Morgan gave them. They don’t learn anything they didn’t already know, but at least they’ll be able to confirm for the expert-Dr Caroline Chikeze-that her theories are right.
The only thing that she wasn’t sure about was whether or not someone who was soulbonded could survive their soulmates death; apparently the information in the old, pre-Burning times texts that had survived the pyres was contradictory on the subject.
“What do you think?” Jensen asks Jared.
Jared shakes his head. “I don’t know. I think it’d suck. I think it’d really hurt. Like, I feel what you feel, so if you died, I’d feel that. But would I survive it? I just don’t know.”
“Yeah,” Jensen is running his fingers up and down Jared’s side and it’s comforting. Jared can’t help leaning in to him. “Imagine being us for a whole lifetime-like fifty or sixty years-and then suddenly, it’s just gone. I’m not sure I’d want to survive,” he purses his lips. “Maybe it depends how long the bond’s been formed for? Maybe if one of us died this week, the other one would survive, but if we’d been bonded for fifty years, the shock would be too great?”
Jared thinks that sounds reasonable, but unless there’s something on the subject of soulmate death in the college library’s restricted section he figures they won’t be finding out until one of them dies. So hopefully, not for a very, very, very long time.
“Do you want hot chocolate?” Jensen asks.
Jared perks up. “With marshmallows?” he asks hopefully.
“Don’t I always make it with marshmallows?”
Jared bounces a little. “Yes, please.”
Jensen laughs. “Man, you are easy to keep happy.”
Sadie is lying down outside their bedroom door and Harley is on the sofa in the living room. While Jensen makes the hot chocolate, Jared takes them outside to do their business and then spends some time playing with them before showing them to their doggie beds and telling them to sleep there. Harley looks mournfully at the sofa and Jared doesn’t like their chances of Harley staying in his doggy bed, but at least he’ll start off there.
As he passes the kitchen he hears Chris talking quietly with Jensen, apologizing for cock blocking earlier and telling him that he and Charisma have finished studying now (it’s nearly midnight) so it’s okay if he and Jared want to mess around some more.
“Aw, man,” Jensen says and Jared grins imagining his bright red face and the way he’s ducking his head right now.
“No seriously,” Chris says. “Mess around all you want. Charisma wants to do a ritual so the extra energy will probably be really helpful.”
Jensen makes a sort of strangled sound and Jared decides to go to his rescue.
“Hey,” he says coming into the kitchen, “I took the dogs out and told them to go to bed.”
Jensen nods. He looks a little pale.
“You okay?” Jared asks.
Chris slaps Jensen on the back. “I just told your boy Charisma was planning on a ritual tonight. I thought being your soulmate might’ve made him less uptight, but I don’t reckon it has.”
Jensen glares at him. “Screw you,” he says.
“No thanks,” Chris says. “I don’t swing that way. I’m sure Jared’ll take care of you though.”
He pats Jensen on the cheek, nods at Jared and swaggers out of the kitchen.
“I’m not uptight,” Jensen pouts.
Jared nods and Jensen stares at him for a moment and then stomps out of the kitchen.
Jared sighs and follows him to their bedroom.
Jensen is sitting cross legged on the bed with his arms crossed. Jared doesn’t need a mind bond to know that he is sulking.
“I’m not uptight,” he says. “You were the one who refused to have sex until we’d had three dates! I’ve had heaps of sex. I just think it should be a private thing.”
“I know,” Jared sits down beside him. “It’s the way you were raised. I think sex is something sacred. That it should be meaningful. But that doesn’t necessarily mean private to me and I guess I just find it a bit weird that you’d be cool with a meaningless hook-up because it was private, but horrified by a sacred ritual if it was public.”
Jensen hugs himself tighter. “Well the meaningless hook-ups are a thing of the past, obviously, but I can’t…in public…I just--”
“And you don’t have to,” Jared soothes. “Participating in public ritual is completely optional. I already told you that. Just…try not to get all judgey about ritual sex, okay?”
“I’m not,” Jensen begins and Jared raises an eyebrow. His soulmate sighs. “I’m trying not to be,” he amends. “And this isn’t really even about that; it’s about the fact that they know what we’re doing and they’re so comfortable with it that they’re feeding off it. That’s just embarrassing.”
“Okay,” Jared says. “I mean, I don’t really get that, but okay,” he frowns. “I can feel how you feel, but I don’t really understand why. I guess there are some limitations to soulbonds after all.”
Jensen chews on his bottom lip and squirms. Jared can feel his soulmate getting progressively hornier. And partly it’s because Jared is sitting so close beside him. Jensen likes the fact that he’s so big. And he really likes-
“Stop reading my mind,” Jensen grumbles and then pulls Jared in for a kiss.
“Are you sure you’re okay to have sex?” Jared says, pulling back just enough to speak. “I might not get it, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
Jensen palms Jared’s rapidly hardening dick. “Have you seen the size of this thing?” he says. “It’s always gonna feel a little uncomfortable at first.”
Jared rolls his eyes. “So you’re sure?”
Jensen nods. “I’m trying to think about it the way you do. Let go of my Holy Fire hang-ups. Plus, we haven’t fucked since the first night, and don’t get me wrong, what we have done has been awesome, but I’m a big fan of big dicks and most guys don’t have one.”
“You want me inside you?”
Jensen nods and his pupils blow wide when Jared stands up and starts to strip.
“C’mon then,” Jared says. “Get naked.”
Jensen sheds his clothes quickly and then scoots back onto the bed. He leans back on his elbows and forearms and then spreads his legs slowly and deliberately.
Jared swallows. He yanks open the bedside drawer and gets out the astro-glide. He takes his time opening Jensen up, waits until he’s begging for it-please Jared, please-and then he suits up and slides inside, not stopping until he’s balls deep in Jensen who’s panting raggedly, his eyes screwed shut.
Jared gives him some time because he knows it hurts; can feel it himself through the bond. But he also knows that Jensen doesn’t mind the burn; that it’ll settle soon into a dull, deep ache and even that will transform into mind numbing pleasure once Jared gets to fucking him properly.
Jared feels it when Jensen is okay with him moving and he starts up a steady rhythm of slow deep thrusts, swivelling his hips and carving himself a place deep within Jensen.
Jensen is gasping and moaning quietly, his hands gripping Jared’s ass and pushing him in deeper, his own hips rising to meet Jared’s thrusts. Jensen’s cock is wet with precome and it’s sliding against Jared’s abs and Jared lets go of his blocks completely, allows himself to feel everything that Jensen is feeling and everything goes into overload as Jensen feels him feeling everything and reacts to it in the same amazing feedback loop of pleasure that Jared remembers from last time. Jensen’s making noises like a porn star and Jared just loses it, fucking him hard and fast and deep until they both explode in an earthshattering burst of ecstasy at exactly the same time.
They cling together as their heartbeats settle and their breathing steadies and Jared can feel Jensen trembling beneath him. He pulls back a little so that he can look at him.
“You okay?”
Jensen nods. He looks stunned. “That was mind blowing. I feel like all the lights should’ve exploded or something.”
Jared grins. “I think Charisma was channelling our energy.”
Jensen blushes and Jared can’t resist bending down and giving him a quick kiss.
“Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices,” Jared quotes, “for behold-all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.”
Jensen wrinkles his nose. “Well I like that a lot better than: For our God is a consuming fire who commands your worship; and he who fails to make burnt offerings will become ash in the fires of Hell. Give me love and pleasure over that any day.”
“Your God is mean and scary,” Jared says.
Jensen winces when Jared pulls out. They clean up quickly and then lie spooned together, naked, until they fall asleep.
--
The next couple of days are a blur of studying and exams. Jared’s parents are still in town; they’re handling the media and liaising with the local coven and generally keeping Jared and Jensen protected from all that, and they want the boys to come back home to Texas with them after their exams are over. Jared thinks it’s a great idea, but Jensen is not so sure. Charisma and Chris are going to spend some time with Chris’s family in Oklahoma so if they stayed they would have the place to themselves and Jared knows that Jensen would prefer to spend some time together, just the two of them, cementing their bond.
Jared does like that idea. He does. It has a lot to recommend it. But the truth is, every single time he’s been out and about by himself lately he feels as if he’s being followed. He hasn’t said anything, but it’s got him a little on edge. Either way, they have to decide soon. Today was the last day of exams and a whole group of them are heading out to Cowboy Country to celebrate. His parents want to head off early next week, so they’ll need an answer soon.
“You ready?” Jensen bangs on the bathroom door.
“Yeah,” Jared gives up on trying to make his hair look like less of a mop and opens the door. Jensen looks amazing. He’s wearing tight-fitting charcoal jeans and a forest green button down. His hair is perfectly styled.
Jared whistles. “Looking good, Ackles.”
Jensen grins, loose and easy. “You ain’t so bad lookin’ yourself, Padalecki.”
Chris and Steve are playing, so the whole gang has a table right at the front. There’s a lot of whooping and hollering and backslapping and everyone is pretty excited to be finished. Jared supposes that makes sense, given that Jensen and his cohort are in their final year. Jensen is staying on to do his post grad and Jared learns over the course of the night that Mike Rosenbaum is going on to do a post grad course too. He’s studying psychiatry and he’s telling Jared about his plans while Jensen gets them another pitcher of beer, when Tom Welling turns up looking pissed.
“What’s wrong?” Mike asks immediately.
Tom glowers. “Michael’s being an asshole.”
Jared met Tom’s boyfriend Michael Weatherly a couple of weeks back, the first time he came to Cowboy Country with Jensen. It had seemed to Jared that asshole was Weatherly’s default setting.
“He refused to come out tonight because Jared was gonna be here,” Tom pulls out a seat and sits down. “Sorry Jared,” he says. “It’s because of the whole soulbonding thing. We’re both with the Church of the Holy Fire, but the stance the Church is taking on this is so wrong. It’s been pretty well established that magic can’t make somebody do something they don’t want to do and besides, anyone who knows you and Jensen,” Tom breaks off and shakes his head. “Sorry. We’ve been arguing about this all week.”
Jensen puts a jug of beer down on the table. “Arguing about what?”
Tom sucks in a deep breath. “You. And Jared. And how you’re not bewitched.”
Jensen sits down next to Tom and looks at him steadily. “So you don’t think I’m bewitched?”
Tom shakes his head. “But Michael does.”
Jensen thinks the words Michael’s an ass pretty loudly, but he doesn’t say them.
Unfortunately, their conversation seems to have drawn attention to their group and Jared is suddenly aware of a change in the atmosphere, of people pointing and staring.
A big bearded man staggers up to their table.
“Fuckin’ witch,” he slurs, grabbing at Jensen and pulling him to his feet.
“He’s not a witch,” Tom is beside him immediately, trying to push the man away from Jensen.
Not that it should matter, Jared thinks. Not that it’s anything to be ashamed of. He gets to his feet and faces the drunken man. “I’m the witch. If you’ve got something to say, say it to me.”
“Fuckin’ witch,” the man sneers and takes a swing at him.
Jensen intercepts his fist and pushes him away and half a dozen of the man’s friends, who’d been hanging back, throw themselves into the fray.
And then it’s on; a brawl that quickly escalates as people take sides. A lot of people flee the sudden violence, but that still leaves dozens of people fighting viciously. Jared’s favorite moment is when Chris leaps off the stage and bashes a guy over the head with his guitar. He’s also quite proud of his own quick thinking when some dude was about to hit Jensen over the head with a beer bottle: Jared transfigured it into a bunch of plastic red roses and the look on the guy’s face was priceless.
Soon enough the police turn up and separate the two groups of brawlers. The angry atmosphere begins to dissipate as the magi in the police ranks work to calm the out-of-control emotions.
The opposition brawlers don’t do themselves any favors, continuing to shout out anti-magi slurs even as they’re detained. The police recognize Jared and Jensen and as the general consensus seems to be that a group of drunken anti-magi bigots decided to attack their table, the police kindly give them, as well as Charisma and Chris, a lift home.
Harley and Sadie are waiting for them with reproving looks on their faces and Jared thinks the dogs may have a point. They should have taken them to the bar tonight. They have papers that would’ve permitted them to enter the bar and protecting them from assholes who want to hurt them is what they were given the dogs for.
“Is everyone okay?” Jensen asks when the police have gone.
They are, mostly. Jensen has a bruise forming on his jaw and Jared has one coming up on his thigh. Chris has a splinter from when his guitar shattered, but Charisma is unhurt. She had stood with her back against a wall hurling hot sparks at anyone who came near her.
“You were so badass,” Jensen tells her admiringly.
Jared’s parents call because the police contacted them, which, frankly, Jared is a little pissed about. He’s an adult. It should have been up to him to choose whether to tell his parents. They, of course, insist on coming over, despite Jared’s protestations.
“Maybe we’re taking the wrong approach,” Jared’s dad says, when they’ve assured themselves that no one’s been badly injured. “Maybe we should keep you out of the public eye for a while, let it all die down. You really should come back to Texas with us. Spend your break on the ranch.”
Jensen shakes his head. “That’ll just spark rumors that you’re holding me hostage. There are already people saying that Jared put a spell on me to make me his sex slave. Hiding me away on a ranch in Texas is just gonna make those rumors spread.”
“I’m not sure I wanna stay here,” Jared admits. “Those people may feel sorry for you, but they hate me. And what with the people who’ve been following me--”
“What?” Jensen says sharply.
Jared swallows. “I didn’t wanna say anything in case I was just being paranoid, but, yeah. I think there have been people following me and I don’t really feel all that safe.”
Jensen stares at him for a long moment and Jared can feel the thoughts forming inside his soulmates head.
“No,” he says. “I won’t let you do that.”
“I have to,” Jensen says. “I won’t have people threatening you, making you feel unsafe. And this is the only shot I have at getting them to let it go.”
Jared reaches for Jensen and pulls him close. “No,” he says again. “It’s too big a risk. What if they hurt you? What if they won’t let you go again?”
“What are you planning to do Jensen?” Jared’s mom asks.
Jensen meets her eyes. “I’m gonna go home,” he says. “I’m gonna let them try to ‘break the spell’.”
--
Jensen holds Jared’s hand for the entire two and a half hours of their flight from LA to Texas. They’ll be parting ways at Austin airport. Jared will be heading off with his parents to drive to the family ranch just outside San Antonio, and Jensen’s expecting his parents-and probably half the Church hierarchy as well-to meet him at the airport.
To say that he’s nervous about this would be an understatement. Jensen knows that his family loves him, but he’s worried about what their attempts to ‘break the spell’ will entail and he’s scared that they’ll want him to stay so long that his separation from Jared will become painful.
He’s also going to miss Jared.
The airplane taxis to a stop and they wait until the seatbelt sign is turned off and then collect their hand luggage and make their way out of the plane and over to the baggage claim area.
The local Coven has organized to have Jared and his parents taken to their car through a side exit and Jensen holds his soulmate tightly, shoring up the mental bond us much as he can and trying to soothe the tremors he can feel running through the younger man’s body.
“It’s okay,” he says, again and again, “it’s gonna be okay.”
Eventually they break apart and Jared leaves. Jensen watches him until the door closes behind him and then tips his head back and takes a very deep breath. He turns slowly and makes his way past the baggage carousel and over to the automatic sliding doors that lead out to the waiting area.
His parents and his siblings are waiting right at the front. Pastor Roberts too. Jensen could’ve done without the Pastor being there, but he can’t deny that he’s happy to see his family. His mom opens her arms wide and Jensen drops his bags and fall into her embrace, hugging her tightly. There are camera flashes. Jensen decides to ignore them.
“Is he here?” his mom whispers into his ear.
“No. It’s just me, Ma.”
His mom pulls back and stares up at him searchingly. “You’re bruised.”
Jensen rubs a hand across his jaw. “We were out celebrating the end of exams. Some drunk anti-magi douchebags decided to attack us.”
Grace lowers her eyes and stands back as Jensen’s dad and his brother Gregory come forward and shake his hand. There are more camera flashes.
Grace is still hanging back so Jensen holds out a hand to her. She comes forward slowly and then throws herself into his arms.
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs.
“For what?”
“We need to talk,” she whispers.
And then Pastor Roberts is at Jensen’s elbow, booming something about freeing him from the witch’s enslavement and Jensen’s epic eyeroll is definitely caught by the television cameras.
It’s late in the afternoon and Pastor Roberts wants them to go straight to the Church to begin the prayer session that he says will overcome the spell the witch has used to bind him.
Jared is an absolute expert when it comes to sad puppy dog eyes, but Jensen is no slouch himself and he pulls out his most soulful expression now.
“I’m tired, Ma,” he says. “And I was really looking forward to some of your amazing home cooking. We can do the Church stuff tomorrow, right?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” his mom says.
Grace’s smile is triumphant and Jensen’s not sure what to make of that.
The house looks no different; a white, ranch-style country house with a deep wrap-around covered porch and dormer windows. The carefully manicured front yard sits behind a white picket fence and Jensen has never been so aware before, of just what a whitebread, mundane ghetto he grew up in. There are no magi in this part of town and everyone on this block is a part of the local Holy Fire parish.
Back in his old bedroom, Jensen doesn’t bother to unpack, just dumps his suitcase and his backpack on the student desk and then lies on his old, single bed, on his back, with his arms folded behind his head. He looks around at all the carefully preserved relics of his childhood and is hit with a sudden feeling of sadness. There are no posters in the room, no colourful books with cracked spines and dog-eared pages, no CDs, no baseball trophies (despite the fact that he’d won them-Jensen was never allowed to bring them home, because Pride was a Fire Sin); no sign, in fact, that an actual person with an actual personality had once lived in the room.
Jensen closes his eyes. The smell of his mom’s chicken and biscuits is wafting up the stairs and the smell brings back so many memories; happy memories of family meals, of his family singing hymns together on a Sunday afternoon, him playing the piano with his mom while Grace and Greg played guitar. There are a lot of unhappy memories too; him lying in his room much like he is now, his belly filled with lead and stone at the thought of being expected to go out and spew hate that he just didn’t feel.
There’s a knock on his bedroom door and Jensen sits up and calls for his visitor to come in.
Grace opens the door and peeks her head around it.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course.”
Grace makes her way over to the bed and sits down. “Of course, is a lot more than I expected. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you hated me right now.”
Jensen shrugs. He doesn’t have the energy to parse the complicated emotions he feels for his family.
“Tell me about Jared,” Grace says, and it’s the first time one of his family hasn’t called his soulmate him or the witch.
“Why?” he says.
Grace glances down at his old Mavericks quilt cover and when she meets his eyes again, hers are fierce. “Because he’s important to you. And because,” she bites down on her bottom lip, her eyes widening uneasily. “Because I’ve been talking to this girl I met online. Felicia. She’s a magus. She’s got a Youtube channel where she talks about religious mythology and she’s really interesting.”
“Yeah?” Jensen encourages.
Grace hides behind her bangs. “I’d been reading her stuff and, on a whim, I tagged her in one of the Churches tweets about the purity of fire releasing the evil inside witches so that they can ascend to Heaven when they die.”
“Ouch,” Jensen winces and Grace ducks her head.
“Yeah. It was pretty insensitive, huh? But Felicia tweeted back and she didn’t insult me or anything. She just…she engaged with me. She treated me like a real person. And she was so warm and funny and…so open to friendly, but passionate debate. But you know, there’s only 140 characters on Twitter, so she gave me her email address and we started up this really intense correspondence,” Grace smiles up at him shyly. “She was curious and never condemned me and she really made me think.”
Jensen nudges his sister with his shoulder. “Sounds like you’ve got a bit of a crush,” he teases.
Grace actually blushes and Jensen’s mouth drops open.
“Really?”
“I think so,” Grace says. “Maybe. I need to meet her in person, obviously, but uh, I talked to her about you and the whole soulbonding thing and she says the Nasc Anam is real; and that it’s not possible to make someone fall in love with you using magic.”
Her words are like a balm to Jensen’s soul. Grace didn’t go away to school; she went to college locally and lived at home. She didn’t get the same opportunities that Jensen did to mix with the magi; to get to know them as people and not abstract incarnations of evil. If she can change her attitudes, then surely anyone can.
“So why are you still posting all that crap for the Church?” he asks. “And why did you email me?”
Grace explains that following her conversation with Felicia she’d gone to Pastor Roberts and tried to convince him that the Nasc Anam was simply two compatible souls reaching for each other; the work of God not magic. Pastor Roberts’s expression had become more and more grave as they’d spoken and eventually he’d cut her off, his hand slicing the air as he’d thundered: “Enough!”
“This is why talking to witches is so risky,” he’d told her “They can’t help but weave their deceptive spells.”
“He prayed with me for hours,” Grace says, rubbing absently at her knees. Jensen wonders if he made her kneel on grains of rice while she prayed. Pastor Roberts had made him do that several times, when he’d first started refusing to go to pickets and hold a sign saying ‘God hates witches’. “And he started saying all this stuff about women being the Devil’s altar and needing to be controlled. I just wanted to get out of there so I told him what he wanted to hear.”
Grace folds her arms across her chest. “Things’ve really gone downhill around here over the last few months.”
She tells him that Patriarch Lucius has brought a new Inquisitor over from Europe. Inquisitor Heyerdahl has some really strange ideas about women, and since his arrival, the Patriarch has been busy demoting women from positions of authority in the Church.
“Two weeks ago,” Grace says, “the Patriarch issued an edict saying that more attention needs to be paid to the passages in the Holy Book that speak about women submitting to men. He said that Wiccans venerate the Goddess, but the Goddess isn’t real; she’s just a mouthpiece for the Devil. And that women are weak and can easily become a mouthpiece for the Devil if they’re not kept under the thumb. Suddenly, the entire Council of Elders was made up of men. The work I do online is monitored closely now,” she shakes her head. “So I had to keep towing the party line when it came to you and Jared. But I don’t believe it. Not any of it.”
“Then why did you email me and tell me that the Church could remedy Jared’s ‘spell’ with prayers and acts of devotion?”
Grace bites at her bottom lip. “I have a plan,” she says. “And if it works,” she rubs a hand nervously across her mouth, “if it works, then maybe the Wiccan Priestess was right about you and Jared. Maybe you are the way forward.”
--
The candles are lit, the burnt offerings made and they all hold hands and give thanks to God for the gift of Fire and the food they have cooked with it.
Jensen’s a little rusty, but you don’t forget a lifetime of indoctrination in four years.
It’s been a couple of years since he was last home. Exams. Internships. Work. Lately, he always found some excuse to avoid going home. It’s hard settling into a devout family when you, yourself, no longer believe. He doesn’t know how Grace is managing to live a lie every day. He gives her hand a squeeze and she squeezes back. He wonders if Greg is still as devout as he used to be.
His mom’s chicken and biscuits is every bit as good as he remembers and he praises her cooking.
His mom beams. “It’s good having you home, Jensen. We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” he says. Because he has. He’s even missed some of the religious observances. He just hasn’t missed the hate and the judgement.
“Jensen was telling me a bit about Jared earlier,” Grace says. “He’s a Freshman and he’s majoring in engineering.”
His parents look at each other. “I was surprised when I learned he’s younger than you,” his dad says.
Jensen isn’t quite sure what to say to that, so he helps himself to another serving of biscuits and some more gravy.
“He’s taller than Jen,” Greg says. “Reckon he’ll be a lot bigger one day, when he grows into himself.”
And boy oh boy isn’t Jensen looking forward to that. He loves being manhandled and one day soon Jared’s going to be built enough to do it properly. He feels a soft nudge at the bond-the first one he’s felt since he and Jared parted at the airport-and grins to himself. Stop projecting, Jared chides. You’re making me horny.
I miss you, Jensen sends back.
Miss you too, Jared replies. Is everything going okay?
Yeah. Jensen lowers his block and lets Jared see his conversation with Grace, but before they can discuss it, Jensen is distracted by a loud throat-clearing. Gotta go, he sends.
“Are you okay, Honey?” his mom asks. “You zoned out there for a minute.”
“Yeah, sorry,” Jensen tries not to look too guilty as he lies. “It’s been a hectic few weeks, what with exams and everything. I’m a little tired.”
“Well as I was saying,” his dad says with a frown. “Jensen won’t be bound to this person for much longer so I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to get to know him. He’s not Jensen’s boyfriend, he’s the witch who tried to enslave him with magic.”
Suddenly, the biscuits taste like ash. Jensen puts his fork down and takes a moment to get control of his emotions.
“Jared has never done anything to hurt me,” he says. “And even though I’ve agreed to let you try to break the spell, I don’t actually believe there is one. Jared is my soulmate.”
His dad’s lips thin and he shakes his head. “I know you want to think so, Jensen, but it’s just not possible. There’s no such thing as soulmates. It’s just blatant magical manipulation.”
“Jared isn’t manipulating me, Dad.”
His dad raises his eyebrows. “Isn’t he? Be honest. He was doing it just now, wasn’t he? Trying to control your mind via his spell.”
“No.”
His dad drops his fork and glares at Jensen. “Don’t lie to me, son,” he says.
Jensen swallows. “We were just talking, that’s all.”
“Talking?” his mom’s hand flutters to her mouth. “How could you be…” she trails off and looks at him in horror. “Oh dear Lord above,” she says. “You consummated the bond, didn’t you? How could you, Jensen? How could you?”
She pushes back from the table and hurries out of the room.
His dad stands up. He looks down at Jensen, his eyes hard and his mouth downturned. “I’m very disappointed,” he says. “And with a witch of all people.”
He follows after Jensen’s mom and then Greg sighs and mutters something under his breath. He goes to the fridge and comes back with three beers, handing one off to Jensen and one to Grace.
“All right, Kiddo,” he says. “I’m clearly missing something important here, so spill. What are Mom and Dad suddenly so upset about?”
“Me and Jared consummated the bond,” Jensen says, his eyes fixed on the table as he waits for his brother’s condemnation.
“What does that mean?” Greg asks.
Grace snorts. “I think it’s kind of all there in the word ‘consummate’.
Greg frowns. “You don’t mean consummate as in consummate?”
“Oh my!” Grace says. “Is there any other definition? Consummate. Verb. Make complete by having sexual intercourse.”
Jensen’s cheeks flare red as Greg side-eyes him. “Yee- hah, little brother,” he says. “You sly dog, you! That’s the benefit of going to college out of state, huh? Gets you out from under Mom and Dad’s thumb.”
Jensen meets his older brother’s eyes. “You’re not seriously telling me you’ve never…with anyone?”
“Nope,” Greg shakes his head. “Twenty-five year old virgin. I’ve been saving myself for marriage like Mom and Dad expect,” he frowns. “Of course, it’s probably easier for me. I know I’m only attracted to women, so I guess I didn’t feel the same need to try before you buy, so to speak, that I’m guessing you felt.”
“Yeah,” Jensen rubs at his neck. “I definitely enjoy both, but it’s kind of a moot point now that I’ve got Jared.”
Grace whistles low. “No way? You mean Jared wasn’t your first?”
Jensen ducks his head and shakes his head and Greg bumps shoulders with him.
“Goddamn,” his brother swears, “I knew I should’ve taken up that place at Columbia instead of staying in Texas,” he looks at Jensen admiringly. “You were the only one brave enough to do what you wanted, never mind what Mom and Dad wanted.”
“So you believe me then?” Jensen says. “You don’t think I’m bewitched with inordinate love like the Church believes?”
Greg toys with his chicken. “When all this went down, me and Grace read up on soulbonds and we both talked with some people we know. Non-Church people,” he pauses and then looks up and meets Jensen’s eyes. “I don’t know why soulbonds exist, but I’m convinced that they do.”
“Me too,” Grace says. “And when we try to cure you of the Spell and it fails, then maybe it’ll get through to our people and they’ll stop believing that the magi have the power to control our actions.”
Jensen wishes he had her confidence.
Later, Jensen is changing to go to bed and chatting with Jared via their bond, when there’s a knock on his bedroom door.
“Just a minute,” he pulls on a pair of sweatpants, tells Jared he has to go, and opens the door.
It’s his mom.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure,” Jensen opens the door wider and steps back.
His mom walks to the center of the room and then stands there, staring at him and wringing her hands. Jensen goes and pulls the desk chair out and invites her to sit down, which she does with a tremulous smile.
Jensen leans against the wall with his feet crossed at the ankles and his arms folded across his chest.
“So,” he says.
“Jensen I want to apologize,” his mom begins.
Jensen raises his eyebrows. Okay, that? He hadn’t expected. But then his mom continues.
“We should never have let you go to college in California. Such a sin-filled State. Full of witches. Witches who have obviously wreaked havoc on you with their magics,” her eyes fill with tears. “Oh sweetheart. I can’t bear to see your soul at such risk.”
Jensen shakes his head, but he doesn’t want to argue. “Well tomorrow, you can try to cure me,” he says.
His mom wipes at her eyes. “We will. We’ll get you free, I promise.”
She comes and hugs him and Jensen hugs her back. “And if the bond doesn’t break,” he says, “will you accept that Jared is my soulmate?”
Him mom pulls back and looks up at him. “This witch may have strong enough magic to enslave your body. And I’m not happy about that, Jensen, not at all. But it wasn’t your fault you were bewitched. But that’s all it is. An enchantment. And you will be free of it tomorrow, because no witch is strong enough to ensnare your God-given soul.”
“Okay, mom,” Jensen says, his heart aching. “It’s gonna be a big day tomorrow. I better get some rest.”
His mom asks him to pray with her and he does, kneeling beside her at the foot of his bed, while she asks a God he no longer believes in to tear him away from the man he loves more than anything. When they’re done, his mom’s eyes are bright and fierce and Jensen is suddenly exhausted. He wishes his mom a goodnight and crawls into bed.
Sleep is a long time coming.
<
| NEXT>>
Back to MasterPost
Online is an ugly environment. Jared and Jensen go on Twitter, Facebook and Youtube. They go on reddit and magi blog sites and mundane blog sites and when they’re done they’re both silent and shaken.
“There’s an awful lot of hate out there,” Jensen says finally.
Jared nods. “It scares me sometimes,” he says. “Makes me wonder why the Lord and Lady are still bothering with us. Why not just throw us in the cosmic trash heap and start over?”
Jensen shrugs. “I guess they see something worth saving.”
Jared is feeling pretty dubious about that. “Even the mainstream media is saying some pretty ugly things.”
“That was Fox News,” Jensen says. “You can’t expect anything decent to come out of Fox News.”
“But still--”
Jensen interrupts him. “Let’s agree to go back to ignoring the media; mainstream and social. In my opinion, your dad’s right. The people making threats are just your loudmouthed keyboard warrior types. I don’t think either of us is at any genuine risk.”
Jared nods and decides not to tell Jensen that he thought someone had been following him today. He was probably just being paranoid.
“Oh,” Jensen says suddenly. “Professor Morgan gave me a couple of books on soulbonding. And he said that the Head Librarian is prepared to let us into the Restricted Section if Professor Morgan and one of the other librarians supervise us.”
Jared’s eyes light up. “Wow.”
“And,” Jensen adds, “apparently the world’s leading authority on soulbonding, the woman who wrote one of the books Professor Morgan gave me, wants to fly out from England to meet us.”
“Wow,” Jared says again.
“Yeah,” Jensen sighs. “We’re sort of turning into celebrities whether we want to or not.”
Jared can feel his despondency through the bond. They’re sitting side-by-side on the bed, legs outstretched, and Jared moves Jensen’s laptop and throws a leg over Jensen’s legs so that he can sit facing him, on his lap.
“I know how to make you feel better,” he says, leaning forward and resting his hands on the headboard, either side of Jensen’s head.
“Is that a fact?” Jensen’s tone is nonchalant, but his pupils are dark and Jared can feel the want zinging through his veins.
“Yeah,” he says and leans forward.
Jensen tips his head back and parts his lips and the kiss is long, deep and satisfying. Pretty soon Jared’s hands are in Jensen’s hair and Jensen’s hands are up underneath Jared’s tee-shirt, clawing at his back. They’re thrusting against each other and it’s just starting to get really good when a sharp, angry rapping at the bedroom door makes them spring apart.
“Guys, we’re trying to study,” Chris yells. “So stop making Charisma horny.”
Jared climbs off Jensen. “Sorry,” he calls.
“Fuck,” Jensen thunks his head back against the headboard. “We’re gonna need to get our own place.”
Jared couldn’t agree more.
They decide to take a metaphoric cold shower by reading the books on soulbonding that Professor Morgan gave them. They don’t learn anything they didn’t already know, but at least they’ll be able to confirm for the expert-Dr Caroline Chikeze-that her theories are right.
The only thing that she wasn’t sure about was whether or not someone who was soulbonded could survive their soulmates death; apparently the information in the old, pre-Burning times texts that had survived the pyres was contradictory on the subject.
“What do you think?” Jensen asks Jared.
Jared shakes his head. “I don’t know. I think it’d suck. I think it’d really hurt. Like, I feel what you feel, so if you died, I’d feel that. But would I survive it? I just don’t know.”
“Yeah,” Jensen is running his fingers up and down Jared’s side and it’s comforting. Jared can’t help leaning in to him. “Imagine being us for a whole lifetime-like fifty or sixty years-and then suddenly, it’s just gone. I’m not sure I’d want to survive,” he purses his lips. “Maybe it depends how long the bond’s been formed for? Maybe if one of us died this week, the other one would survive, but if we’d been bonded for fifty years, the shock would be too great?”
Jared thinks that sounds reasonable, but unless there’s something on the subject of soulmate death in the college library’s restricted section he figures they won’t be finding out until one of them dies. So hopefully, not for a very, very, very long time.
“Do you want hot chocolate?” Jensen asks.
Jared perks up. “With marshmallows?” he asks hopefully.
“Don’t I always make it with marshmallows?”
Jared bounces a little. “Yes, please.”
Jensen laughs. “Man, you are easy to keep happy.”
Sadie is lying down outside their bedroom door and Harley is on the sofa in the living room. While Jensen makes the hot chocolate, Jared takes them outside to do their business and then spends some time playing with them before showing them to their doggie beds and telling them to sleep there. Harley looks mournfully at the sofa and Jared doesn’t like their chances of Harley staying in his doggy bed, but at least he’ll start off there.
As he passes the kitchen he hears Chris talking quietly with Jensen, apologizing for cock blocking earlier and telling him that he and Charisma have finished studying now (it’s nearly midnight) so it’s okay if he and Jared want to mess around some more.
“Aw, man,” Jensen says and Jared grins imagining his bright red face and the way he’s ducking his head right now.
“No seriously,” Chris says. “Mess around all you want. Charisma wants to do a ritual so the extra energy will probably be really helpful.”
Jensen makes a sort of strangled sound and Jared decides to go to his rescue.
“Hey,” he says coming into the kitchen, “I took the dogs out and told them to go to bed.”
Jensen nods. He looks a little pale.
“You okay?” Jared asks.
Chris slaps Jensen on the back. “I just told your boy Charisma was planning on a ritual tonight. I thought being your soulmate might’ve made him less uptight, but I don’t reckon it has.”
Jensen glares at him. “Screw you,” he says.
“No thanks,” Chris says. “I don’t swing that way. I’m sure Jared’ll take care of you though.”
He pats Jensen on the cheek, nods at Jared and swaggers out of the kitchen.
“I’m not uptight,” Jensen pouts.
Jared nods and Jensen stares at him for a moment and then stomps out of the kitchen.
Jared sighs and follows him to their bedroom.
Jensen is sitting cross legged on the bed with his arms crossed. Jared doesn’t need a mind bond to know that he is sulking.
“I’m not uptight,” he says. “You were the one who refused to have sex until we’d had three dates! I’ve had heaps of sex. I just think it should be a private thing.”
“I know,” Jared sits down beside him. “It’s the way you were raised. I think sex is something sacred. That it should be meaningful. But that doesn’t necessarily mean private to me and I guess I just find it a bit weird that you’d be cool with a meaningless hook-up because it was private, but horrified by a sacred ritual if it was public.”
Jensen hugs himself tighter. “Well the meaningless hook-ups are a thing of the past, obviously, but I can’t…in public…I just--”
“And you don’t have to,” Jared soothes. “Participating in public ritual is completely optional. I already told you that. Just…try not to get all judgey about ritual sex, okay?”
“I’m not,” Jensen begins and Jared raises an eyebrow. His soulmate sighs. “I’m trying not to be,” he amends. “And this isn’t really even about that; it’s about the fact that they know what we’re doing and they’re so comfortable with it that they’re feeding off it. That’s just embarrassing.”
“Okay,” Jared says. “I mean, I don’t really get that, but okay,” he frowns. “I can feel how you feel, but I don’t really understand why. I guess there are some limitations to soulbonds after all.”
Jensen chews on his bottom lip and squirms. Jared can feel his soulmate getting progressively hornier. And partly it’s because Jared is sitting so close beside him. Jensen likes the fact that he’s so big. And he really likes-
“Stop reading my mind,” Jensen grumbles and then pulls Jared in for a kiss.
“Are you sure you’re okay to have sex?” Jared says, pulling back just enough to speak. “I might not get it, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
Jensen palms Jared’s rapidly hardening dick. “Have you seen the size of this thing?” he says. “It’s always gonna feel a little uncomfortable at first.”
Jared rolls his eyes. “So you’re sure?”
Jensen nods. “I’m trying to think about it the way you do. Let go of my Holy Fire hang-ups. Plus, we haven’t fucked since the first night, and don’t get me wrong, what we have done has been awesome, but I’m a big fan of big dicks and most guys don’t have one.”
“You want me inside you?”
Jensen nods and his pupils blow wide when Jared stands up and starts to strip.
“C’mon then,” Jared says. “Get naked.”
Jensen sheds his clothes quickly and then scoots back onto the bed. He leans back on his elbows and forearms and then spreads his legs slowly and deliberately.
Jared swallows. He yanks open the bedside drawer and gets out the astro-glide. He takes his time opening Jensen up, waits until he’s begging for it-please Jared, please-and then he suits up and slides inside, not stopping until he’s balls deep in Jensen who’s panting raggedly, his eyes screwed shut.
Jared gives him some time because he knows it hurts; can feel it himself through the bond. But he also knows that Jensen doesn’t mind the burn; that it’ll settle soon into a dull, deep ache and even that will transform into mind numbing pleasure once Jared gets to fucking him properly.
Jared feels it when Jensen is okay with him moving and he starts up a steady rhythm of slow deep thrusts, swivelling his hips and carving himself a place deep within Jensen.
Jensen is gasping and moaning quietly, his hands gripping Jared’s ass and pushing him in deeper, his own hips rising to meet Jared’s thrusts. Jensen’s cock is wet with precome and it’s sliding against Jared’s abs and Jared lets go of his blocks completely, allows himself to feel everything that Jensen is feeling and everything goes into overload as Jensen feels him feeling everything and reacts to it in the same amazing feedback loop of pleasure that Jared remembers from last time. Jensen’s making noises like a porn star and Jared just loses it, fucking him hard and fast and deep until they both explode in an earthshattering burst of ecstasy at exactly the same time.
They cling together as their heartbeats settle and their breathing steadies and Jared can feel Jensen trembling beneath him. He pulls back a little so that he can look at him.
“You okay?”
Jensen nods. He looks stunned. “That was mind blowing. I feel like all the lights should’ve exploded or something.”
Jared grins. “I think Charisma was channelling our energy.”
Jensen blushes and Jared can’t resist bending down and giving him a quick kiss.
“Let My worship be in the heart that rejoices,” Jared quotes, “for behold-all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.”
Jensen wrinkles his nose. “Well I like that a lot better than: For our God is a consuming fire who commands your worship; and he who fails to make burnt offerings will become ash in the fires of Hell. Give me love and pleasure over that any day.”
“Your God is mean and scary,” Jared says.
Jensen winces when Jared pulls out. They clean up quickly and then lie spooned together, naked, until they fall asleep.
--
The next couple of days are a blur of studying and exams. Jared’s parents are still in town; they’re handling the media and liaising with the local coven and generally keeping Jared and Jensen protected from all that, and they want the boys to come back home to Texas with them after their exams are over. Jared thinks it’s a great idea, but Jensen is not so sure. Charisma and Chris are going to spend some time with Chris’s family in Oklahoma so if they stayed they would have the place to themselves and Jared knows that Jensen would prefer to spend some time together, just the two of them, cementing their bond.
Jared does like that idea. He does. It has a lot to recommend it. But the truth is, every single time he’s been out and about by himself lately he feels as if he’s being followed. He hasn’t said anything, but it’s got him a little on edge. Either way, they have to decide soon. Today was the last day of exams and a whole group of them are heading out to Cowboy Country to celebrate. His parents want to head off early next week, so they’ll need an answer soon.
“You ready?” Jensen bangs on the bathroom door.
“Yeah,” Jared gives up on trying to make his hair look like less of a mop and opens the door. Jensen looks amazing. He’s wearing tight-fitting charcoal jeans and a forest green button down. His hair is perfectly styled.
Jared whistles. “Looking good, Ackles.”
Jensen grins, loose and easy. “You ain’t so bad lookin’ yourself, Padalecki.”
Chris and Steve are playing, so the whole gang has a table right at the front. There’s a lot of whooping and hollering and backslapping and everyone is pretty excited to be finished. Jared supposes that makes sense, given that Jensen and his cohort are in their final year. Jensen is staying on to do his post grad and Jared learns over the course of the night that Mike Rosenbaum is going on to do a post grad course too. He’s studying psychiatry and he’s telling Jared about his plans while Jensen gets them another pitcher of beer, when Tom Welling turns up looking pissed.
“What’s wrong?” Mike asks immediately.
Tom glowers. “Michael’s being an asshole.”
Jared met Tom’s boyfriend Michael Weatherly a couple of weeks back, the first time he came to Cowboy Country with Jensen. It had seemed to Jared that asshole was Weatherly’s default setting.
“He refused to come out tonight because Jared was gonna be here,” Tom pulls out a seat and sits down. “Sorry Jared,” he says. “It’s because of the whole soulbonding thing. We’re both with the Church of the Holy Fire, but the stance the Church is taking on this is so wrong. It’s been pretty well established that magic can’t make somebody do something they don’t want to do and besides, anyone who knows you and Jensen,” Tom breaks off and shakes his head. “Sorry. We’ve been arguing about this all week.”
Jensen puts a jug of beer down on the table. “Arguing about what?”
Tom sucks in a deep breath. “You. And Jared. And how you’re not bewitched.”
Jensen sits down next to Tom and looks at him steadily. “So you don’t think I’m bewitched?”
Tom shakes his head. “But Michael does.”
Jensen thinks the words Michael’s an ass pretty loudly, but he doesn’t say them.
Unfortunately, their conversation seems to have drawn attention to their group and Jared is suddenly aware of a change in the atmosphere, of people pointing and staring.
A big bearded man staggers up to their table.
“Fuckin’ witch,” he slurs, grabbing at Jensen and pulling him to his feet.
“He’s not a witch,” Tom is beside him immediately, trying to push the man away from Jensen.
Not that it should matter, Jared thinks. Not that it’s anything to be ashamed of. He gets to his feet and faces the drunken man. “I’m the witch. If you’ve got something to say, say it to me.”
“Fuckin’ witch,” the man sneers and takes a swing at him.
Jensen intercepts his fist and pushes him away and half a dozen of the man’s friends, who’d been hanging back, throw themselves into the fray.
And then it’s on; a brawl that quickly escalates as people take sides. A lot of people flee the sudden violence, but that still leaves dozens of people fighting viciously. Jared’s favorite moment is when Chris leaps off the stage and bashes a guy over the head with his guitar. He’s also quite proud of his own quick thinking when some dude was about to hit Jensen over the head with a beer bottle: Jared transfigured it into a bunch of plastic red roses and the look on the guy’s face was priceless.
Soon enough the police turn up and separate the two groups of brawlers. The angry atmosphere begins to dissipate as the magi in the police ranks work to calm the out-of-control emotions.
The opposition brawlers don’t do themselves any favors, continuing to shout out anti-magi slurs even as they’re detained. The police recognize Jared and Jensen and as the general consensus seems to be that a group of drunken anti-magi bigots decided to attack their table, the police kindly give them, as well as Charisma and Chris, a lift home.
Harley and Sadie are waiting for them with reproving looks on their faces and Jared thinks the dogs may have a point. They should have taken them to the bar tonight. They have papers that would’ve permitted them to enter the bar and protecting them from assholes who want to hurt them is what they were given the dogs for.
“Is everyone okay?” Jensen asks when the police have gone.
They are, mostly. Jensen has a bruise forming on his jaw and Jared has one coming up on his thigh. Chris has a splinter from when his guitar shattered, but Charisma is unhurt. She had stood with her back against a wall hurling hot sparks at anyone who came near her.
“You were so badass,” Jensen tells her admiringly.
Jared’s parents call because the police contacted them, which, frankly, Jared is a little pissed about. He’s an adult. It should have been up to him to choose whether to tell his parents. They, of course, insist on coming over, despite Jared’s protestations.
“Maybe we’re taking the wrong approach,” Jared’s dad says, when they’ve assured themselves that no one’s been badly injured. “Maybe we should keep you out of the public eye for a while, let it all die down. You really should come back to Texas with us. Spend your break on the ranch.”
Jensen shakes his head. “That’ll just spark rumors that you’re holding me hostage. There are already people saying that Jared put a spell on me to make me his sex slave. Hiding me away on a ranch in Texas is just gonna make those rumors spread.”
“I’m not sure I wanna stay here,” Jared admits. “Those people may feel sorry for you, but they hate me. And what with the people who’ve been following me--”
“What?” Jensen says sharply.
Jared swallows. “I didn’t wanna say anything in case I was just being paranoid, but, yeah. I think there have been people following me and I don’t really feel all that safe.”
Jensen stares at him for a long moment and Jared can feel the thoughts forming inside his soulmates head.
“No,” he says. “I won’t let you do that.”
“I have to,” Jensen says. “I won’t have people threatening you, making you feel unsafe. And this is the only shot I have at getting them to let it go.”
Jared reaches for Jensen and pulls him close. “No,” he says again. “It’s too big a risk. What if they hurt you? What if they won’t let you go again?”
“What are you planning to do Jensen?” Jared’s mom asks.
Jensen meets her eyes. “I’m gonna go home,” he says. “I’m gonna let them try to ‘break the spell’.”
--
Jensen holds Jared’s hand for the entire two and a half hours of their flight from LA to Texas. They’ll be parting ways at Austin airport. Jared will be heading off with his parents to drive to the family ranch just outside San Antonio, and Jensen’s expecting his parents-and probably half the Church hierarchy as well-to meet him at the airport.
To say that he’s nervous about this would be an understatement. Jensen knows that his family loves him, but he’s worried about what their attempts to ‘break the spell’ will entail and he’s scared that they’ll want him to stay so long that his separation from Jared will become painful.
He’s also going to miss Jared.
The airplane taxis to a stop and they wait until the seatbelt sign is turned off and then collect their hand luggage and make their way out of the plane and over to the baggage claim area.
The local Coven has organized to have Jared and his parents taken to their car through a side exit and Jensen holds his soulmate tightly, shoring up the mental bond us much as he can and trying to soothe the tremors he can feel running through the younger man’s body.
“It’s okay,” he says, again and again, “it’s gonna be okay.”
Eventually they break apart and Jared leaves. Jensen watches him until the door closes behind him and then tips his head back and takes a very deep breath. He turns slowly and makes his way past the baggage carousel and over to the automatic sliding doors that lead out to the waiting area.
His parents and his siblings are waiting right at the front. Pastor Roberts too. Jensen could’ve done without the Pastor being there, but he can’t deny that he’s happy to see his family. His mom opens her arms wide and Jensen drops his bags and fall into her embrace, hugging her tightly. There are camera flashes. Jensen decides to ignore them.
“Is he here?” his mom whispers into his ear.
“No. It’s just me, Ma.”
His mom pulls back and stares up at him searchingly. “You’re bruised.”
Jensen rubs a hand across his jaw. “We were out celebrating the end of exams. Some drunk anti-magi douchebags decided to attack us.”
Grace lowers her eyes and stands back as Jensen’s dad and his brother Gregory come forward and shake his hand. There are more camera flashes.
Grace is still hanging back so Jensen holds out a hand to her. She comes forward slowly and then throws herself into his arms.
“I’m sorry,” she murmurs.
“For what?”
“We need to talk,” she whispers.
And then Pastor Roberts is at Jensen’s elbow, booming something about freeing him from the witch’s enslavement and Jensen’s epic eyeroll is definitely caught by the television cameras.
It’s late in the afternoon and Pastor Roberts wants them to go straight to the Church to begin the prayer session that he says will overcome the spell the witch has used to bind him.
Jared is an absolute expert when it comes to sad puppy dog eyes, but Jensen is no slouch himself and he pulls out his most soulful expression now.
“I’m tired, Ma,” he says. “And I was really looking forward to some of your amazing home cooking. We can do the Church stuff tomorrow, right?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” his mom says.
Grace’s smile is triumphant and Jensen’s not sure what to make of that.
The house looks no different; a white, ranch-style country house with a deep wrap-around covered porch and dormer windows. The carefully manicured front yard sits behind a white picket fence and Jensen has never been so aware before, of just what a whitebread, mundane ghetto he grew up in. There are no magi in this part of town and everyone on this block is a part of the local Holy Fire parish.
Back in his old bedroom, Jensen doesn’t bother to unpack, just dumps his suitcase and his backpack on the student desk and then lies on his old, single bed, on his back, with his arms folded behind his head. He looks around at all the carefully preserved relics of his childhood and is hit with a sudden feeling of sadness. There are no posters in the room, no colourful books with cracked spines and dog-eared pages, no CDs, no baseball trophies (despite the fact that he’d won them-Jensen was never allowed to bring them home, because Pride was a Fire Sin); no sign, in fact, that an actual person with an actual personality had once lived in the room.
Jensen closes his eyes. The smell of his mom’s chicken and biscuits is wafting up the stairs and the smell brings back so many memories; happy memories of family meals, of his family singing hymns together on a Sunday afternoon, him playing the piano with his mom while Grace and Greg played guitar. There are a lot of unhappy memories too; him lying in his room much like he is now, his belly filled with lead and stone at the thought of being expected to go out and spew hate that he just didn’t feel.
There’s a knock on his bedroom door and Jensen sits up and calls for his visitor to come in.
Grace opens the door and peeks her head around it.
“Can I come in?”
“Of course.”
Grace makes her way over to the bed and sits down. “Of course, is a lot more than I expected. I wouldn’t blame you at all if you hated me right now.”
Jensen shrugs. He doesn’t have the energy to parse the complicated emotions he feels for his family.
“Tell me about Jared,” Grace says, and it’s the first time one of his family hasn’t called his soulmate him or the witch.
“Why?” he says.
Grace glances down at his old Mavericks quilt cover and when she meets his eyes again, hers are fierce. “Because he’s important to you. And because,” she bites down on her bottom lip, her eyes widening uneasily. “Because I’ve been talking to this girl I met online. Felicia. She’s a magus. She’s got a Youtube channel where she talks about religious mythology and she’s really interesting.”
“Yeah?” Jensen encourages.
Grace hides behind her bangs. “I’d been reading her stuff and, on a whim, I tagged her in one of the Churches tweets about the purity of fire releasing the evil inside witches so that they can ascend to Heaven when they die.”
“Ouch,” Jensen winces and Grace ducks her head.
“Yeah. It was pretty insensitive, huh? But Felicia tweeted back and she didn’t insult me or anything. She just…she engaged with me. She treated me like a real person. And she was so warm and funny and…so open to friendly, but passionate debate. But you know, there’s only 140 characters on Twitter, so she gave me her email address and we started up this really intense correspondence,” Grace smiles up at him shyly. “She was curious and never condemned me and she really made me think.”
Jensen nudges his sister with his shoulder. “Sounds like you’ve got a bit of a crush,” he teases.
Grace actually blushes and Jensen’s mouth drops open.
“Really?”
“I think so,” Grace says. “Maybe. I need to meet her in person, obviously, but uh, I talked to her about you and the whole soulbonding thing and she says the Nasc Anam is real; and that it’s not possible to make someone fall in love with you using magic.”
Her words are like a balm to Jensen’s soul. Grace didn’t go away to school; she went to college locally and lived at home. She didn’t get the same opportunities that Jensen did to mix with the magi; to get to know them as people and not abstract incarnations of evil. If she can change her attitudes, then surely anyone can.
“So why are you still posting all that crap for the Church?” he asks. “And why did you email me?”
Grace explains that following her conversation with Felicia she’d gone to Pastor Roberts and tried to convince him that the Nasc Anam was simply two compatible souls reaching for each other; the work of God not magic. Pastor Roberts’s expression had become more and more grave as they’d spoken and eventually he’d cut her off, his hand slicing the air as he’d thundered: “Enough!”
“This is why talking to witches is so risky,” he’d told her “They can’t help but weave their deceptive spells.”
“He prayed with me for hours,” Grace says, rubbing absently at her knees. Jensen wonders if he made her kneel on grains of rice while she prayed. Pastor Roberts had made him do that several times, when he’d first started refusing to go to pickets and hold a sign saying ‘God hates witches’. “And he started saying all this stuff about women being the Devil’s altar and needing to be controlled. I just wanted to get out of there so I told him what he wanted to hear.”
Grace folds her arms across her chest. “Things’ve really gone downhill around here over the last few months.”
She tells him that Patriarch Lucius has brought a new Inquisitor over from Europe. Inquisitor Heyerdahl has some really strange ideas about women, and since his arrival, the Patriarch has been busy demoting women from positions of authority in the Church.
“Two weeks ago,” Grace says, “the Patriarch issued an edict saying that more attention needs to be paid to the passages in the Holy Book that speak about women submitting to men. He said that Wiccans venerate the Goddess, but the Goddess isn’t real; she’s just a mouthpiece for the Devil. And that women are weak and can easily become a mouthpiece for the Devil if they’re not kept under the thumb. Suddenly, the entire Council of Elders was made up of men. The work I do online is monitored closely now,” she shakes her head. “So I had to keep towing the party line when it came to you and Jared. But I don’t believe it. Not any of it.”
“Then why did you email me and tell me that the Church could remedy Jared’s ‘spell’ with prayers and acts of devotion?”
Grace bites at her bottom lip. “I have a plan,” she says. “And if it works,” she rubs a hand nervously across her mouth, “if it works, then maybe the Wiccan Priestess was right about you and Jared. Maybe you are the way forward.”
--
The candles are lit, the burnt offerings made and they all hold hands and give thanks to God for the gift of Fire and the food they have cooked with it.
Jensen’s a little rusty, but you don’t forget a lifetime of indoctrination in four years.
It’s been a couple of years since he was last home. Exams. Internships. Work. Lately, he always found some excuse to avoid going home. It’s hard settling into a devout family when you, yourself, no longer believe. He doesn’t know how Grace is managing to live a lie every day. He gives her hand a squeeze and she squeezes back. He wonders if Greg is still as devout as he used to be.
His mom’s chicken and biscuits is every bit as good as he remembers and he praises her cooking.
His mom beams. “It’s good having you home, Jensen. We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” he says. Because he has. He’s even missed some of the religious observances. He just hasn’t missed the hate and the judgement.
“Jensen was telling me a bit about Jared earlier,” Grace says. “He’s a Freshman and he’s majoring in engineering.”
His parents look at each other. “I was surprised when I learned he’s younger than you,” his dad says.
Jensen isn’t quite sure what to say to that, so he helps himself to another serving of biscuits and some more gravy.
“He’s taller than Jen,” Greg says. “Reckon he’ll be a lot bigger one day, when he grows into himself.”
And boy oh boy isn’t Jensen looking forward to that. He loves being manhandled and one day soon Jared’s going to be built enough to do it properly. He feels a soft nudge at the bond-the first one he’s felt since he and Jared parted at the airport-and grins to himself. Stop projecting, Jared chides. You’re making me horny.
I miss you, Jensen sends back.
Miss you too, Jared replies. Is everything going okay?
Yeah. Jensen lowers his block and lets Jared see his conversation with Grace, but before they can discuss it, Jensen is distracted by a loud throat-clearing. Gotta go, he sends.
“Are you okay, Honey?” his mom asks. “You zoned out there for a minute.”
“Yeah, sorry,” Jensen tries not to look too guilty as he lies. “It’s been a hectic few weeks, what with exams and everything. I’m a little tired.”
“Well as I was saying,” his dad says with a frown. “Jensen won’t be bound to this person for much longer so I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to get to know him. He’s not Jensen’s boyfriend, he’s the witch who tried to enslave him with magic.”
Suddenly, the biscuits taste like ash. Jensen puts his fork down and takes a moment to get control of his emotions.
“Jared has never done anything to hurt me,” he says. “And even though I’ve agreed to let you try to break the spell, I don’t actually believe there is one. Jared is my soulmate.”
His dad’s lips thin and he shakes his head. “I know you want to think so, Jensen, but it’s just not possible. There’s no such thing as soulmates. It’s just blatant magical manipulation.”
“Jared isn’t manipulating me, Dad.”
His dad raises his eyebrows. “Isn’t he? Be honest. He was doing it just now, wasn’t he? Trying to control your mind via his spell.”
“No.”
His dad drops his fork and glares at Jensen. “Don’t lie to me, son,” he says.
Jensen swallows. “We were just talking, that’s all.”
“Talking?” his mom’s hand flutters to her mouth. “How could you be…” she trails off and looks at him in horror. “Oh dear Lord above,” she says. “You consummated the bond, didn’t you? How could you, Jensen? How could you?”
She pushes back from the table and hurries out of the room.
His dad stands up. He looks down at Jensen, his eyes hard and his mouth downturned. “I’m very disappointed,” he says. “And with a witch of all people.”
He follows after Jensen’s mom and then Greg sighs and mutters something under his breath. He goes to the fridge and comes back with three beers, handing one off to Jensen and one to Grace.
“All right, Kiddo,” he says. “I’m clearly missing something important here, so spill. What are Mom and Dad suddenly so upset about?”
“Me and Jared consummated the bond,” Jensen says, his eyes fixed on the table as he waits for his brother’s condemnation.
“What does that mean?” Greg asks.
Grace snorts. “I think it’s kind of all there in the word ‘consummate’.
Greg frowns. “You don’t mean consummate as in consummate?”
“Oh my!” Grace says. “Is there any other definition? Consummate. Verb. Make complete by having sexual intercourse.”
Jensen’s cheeks flare red as Greg side-eyes him. “Yee- hah, little brother,” he says. “You sly dog, you! That’s the benefit of going to college out of state, huh? Gets you out from under Mom and Dad’s thumb.”
Jensen meets his older brother’s eyes. “You’re not seriously telling me you’ve never…with anyone?”
“Nope,” Greg shakes his head. “Twenty-five year old virgin. I’ve been saving myself for marriage like Mom and Dad expect,” he frowns. “Of course, it’s probably easier for me. I know I’m only attracted to women, so I guess I didn’t feel the same need to try before you buy, so to speak, that I’m guessing you felt.”
“Yeah,” Jensen rubs at his neck. “I definitely enjoy both, but it’s kind of a moot point now that I’ve got Jared.”
Grace whistles low. “No way? You mean Jared wasn’t your first?”
Jensen ducks his head and shakes his head and Greg bumps shoulders with him.
“Goddamn,” his brother swears, “I knew I should’ve taken up that place at Columbia instead of staying in Texas,” he looks at Jensen admiringly. “You were the only one brave enough to do what you wanted, never mind what Mom and Dad wanted.”
“So you believe me then?” Jensen says. “You don’t think I’m bewitched with inordinate love like the Church believes?”
Greg toys with his chicken. “When all this went down, me and Grace read up on soulbonds and we both talked with some people we know. Non-Church people,” he pauses and then looks up and meets Jensen’s eyes. “I don’t know why soulbonds exist, but I’m convinced that they do.”
“Me too,” Grace says. “And when we try to cure you of the Spell and it fails, then maybe it’ll get through to our people and they’ll stop believing that the magi have the power to control our actions.”
Jensen wishes he had her confidence.
Later, Jensen is changing to go to bed and chatting with Jared via their bond, when there’s a knock on his bedroom door.
“Just a minute,” he pulls on a pair of sweatpants, tells Jared he has to go, and opens the door.
It’s his mom.
“Can I come in?”
“Sure,” Jensen opens the door wider and steps back.
His mom walks to the center of the room and then stands there, staring at him and wringing her hands. Jensen goes and pulls the desk chair out and invites her to sit down, which she does with a tremulous smile.
Jensen leans against the wall with his feet crossed at the ankles and his arms folded across his chest.
“So,” he says.
“Jensen I want to apologize,” his mom begins.
Jensen raises his eyebrows. Okay, that? He hadn’t expected. But then his mom continues.
“We should never have let you go to college in California. Such a sin-filled State. Full of witches. Witches who have obviously wreaked havoc on you with their magics,” her eyes fill with tears. “Oh sweetheart. I can’t bear to see your soul at such risk.”
Jensen shakes his head, but he doesn’t want to argue. “Well tomorrow, you can try to cure me,” he says.
His mom wipes at her eyes. “We will. We’ll get you free, I promise.”
She comes and hugs him and Jensen hugs her back. “And if the bond doesn’t break,” he says, “will you accept that Jared is my soulmate?”
Him mom pulls back and looks up at him. “This witch may have strong enough magic to enslave your body. And I’m not happy about that, Jensen, not at all. But it wasn’t your fault you were bewitched. But that’s all it is. An enchantment. And you will be free of it tomorrow, because no witch is strong enough to ensnare your God-given soul.”
“Okay, mom,” Jensen says, his heart aching. “It’s gonna be a big day tomorrow. I better get some rest.”
His mom asks him to pray with her and he does, kneeling beside her at the foot of his bed, while she asks a God he no longer believes in to tear him away from the man he loves more than anything. When they’re done, his mom’s eyes are bright and fierce and Jensen is suddenly exhausted. He wishes his mom a goodnight and crawls into bed.
Sleep is a long time coming.
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