Fic: A thousand dollars for a kiss: Chapter Three cont...
Chapter Three cont...
One of the things Jared loved about working at Per vias rectas was the variety. Yesterday afternoon he’d done grocery shopping and food preparation. This morning he was doing correspondence and answering the phone and watching Chad crash and burn spectacularly at trying to get a date with Alona, while the two of them shelved books and refilled the trays of pamphlets together.
The front door bell jangled and Jared looked up. It was Sam with Gen in tow.
“How did it go?” he greeted them.
Gen shrugged. “The judge extended the restraining order for two years. Mark didn’t bother to show, which probably means he’s not gonna take it seriously.”
Sam put an arm around her shoulders. “But we’re gonna take it seriously, aren’t we, Honey? We’re gonna report any attempted contact right away, aren’t we?”
Gen rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mom,” she shrugged Sam off.
Gen was gutsy; you had to give her that. Pint-sized and ferocious, with a kind-hearted generosity that she hid underneath layers of toughness, she was fast becoming one of Jared’s closest friends. The very last thing he wanted was for her to get hurt again. Jared chewed on his bottom lip.
“When you say you don’t think he’s gonna take the restraining order seriously… should we be worried?”
Gen turned to face him, her eyes serious. “Imagine a wild lion,” she said, “and you live in his territory. Whenever you cross that lion’s path the question is always the same. Will he ignore you or will he eat you? You should always be worried when you live in a lion’s territory, Jared. You’ll live longer.”
“Right,” Jared nodded. “So…Mark’s the lion?”
Gen stared at him. “It’s just as well you’re pretty.”
“Hey!” Jared frowned. “But I’m right to worry about you, right?”
Gen patted his cheek gently. “I got an angel watching over me. You should be more worried about your boyfriend.”
“My… you mean Jensen?”
“You got another boyfriend tucked away that we don’t know about?”
“What’s this about Jensen?” Sam said sharply.
“Misha’s taken me and Danni under his wing,” Gen said, “and Mark doesn’t want Jared touched for some reason. But Jensen? Mark wants him punished.”
“Punished?” Jared shot to his feet. “How? What? He’s not…he’s not gonna kill him is he?”
Gen shook her head. “Mark just wants him roughed up.”
Jared swallowed hard and reached for the phone on the desk with trembling hands. “I’ve gotta call him. Gotta let him know.”
Gen put a hand on his arm. “He knows, Jare,” she said gently.
“But,” Jared collapsed back into his seat. “I was with him last night; didn’t leave until this morning. And he didn’t say anything; didn’t seem scared, or worried, or… anything.”
“Ooh!” Gen came around the desk and spun Jared’s chair around. “Did you finally punch your V Card, Jare? Did you park the pink Porche in Jensen’s garage? Or did he park in yours?”
Jared’s brow furrowed. “Did I…what?” He tilted his head. “Jensen doesn’t have a garage. Or a Porche.”
Gen grinned and then leaned forward and took Jared’s face in her hands, kissing his forehead before stepping back and looking at him fondly. “Never change, Jare,” she said. “Never change.”
Jared was sure that he looked as bewildered as he felt. He turned to Sam and pleaded wordlessly for an explanation.
“She wants to know if you and Jensen had sex,” Sam said.
“Gen!” Jared was mortified. “Sam’s like my mom! You can’t ask me about my sex life in front of my mom!”
Gen pounced. “Ah ha! So you have a sex life?”
Jared slumped against the desk, his face hidden in his hands.
“Speak of the devil,” Gen said, her tone evil with glee. “Oh Jensen,” she trilled, “I got a question for you.”
“And that’s my cue to leave,” Sam said, pushing away from the desk. “I’m gonna go and check in on the kitchen staff.” And she headed across the floor, leaving Jared to Gen’s tender mercies.
Jared lifted his head in time to see Jensen making his way across the room towards him, with Felicia trailing along behind him.
“You okay?” Jensen’s eyes flicked between Jared and a wickedly-grinning Gen.
Before Jared could respond Gen said, “So, Jay, you pop his cherry yet?”
“Fuck off, Gen,” Jensen said easily.
“Oh come on!” Gen pouted. “Enquiring minds want to know?”
Jensen raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, Danni and I want to know. C’mon! You guys are hot and,” she bit at her bottom lip, “we wanna know if…I mean, he’s got really big hands and feet. Does he…? Is he…” her eyes flicked to Jared’s groin.
Jensen looked at Jared and licked his lips, the look on his face morphing into one of pure sin. He leaned forward and whispered something in Gen’s ear and Jared watched as Gen’s eyes widened.
“I hate you,” she groaned, giving Jared an admiring once over before pouting at Jensen. “I’m so jealous, you lucky bitch.”
With a final sigh she headed over to where Danni was finishing up her GED session and Jared looked at Jensen’s smug expression with trepidation.
“What did you say to her?”
“Told her you’re packing a rifle not a pistol.”
Jared gritted his teeth. “Would everyone please stop using euphemisms that I don’t understand! Y’all go on about rifles and pistols and Porches and garages and I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
“Ugh!” Felicia said from behind Jensen. “He told her you’ve got a really big dick. Now, as someone who doesn’t give two shits about anybody’s dick, can we please drop it and get me booked into the NA group?”
Jared was only too happy to comply.
--
After the lunch rush, Jared and Jensen slipped upstairs to the apartment and heated themselves up some of Sam’s left over mac ‘n’ cheese.
In between mouthfuls of macaroni, Jared finally brought up the issue that had been bothering him since Gen first mentioned it, “I hear Mark wants you punished.”
Jensen shrugged.
“Were you even going to tell me that you’re in danger?” Jared persisted when it became apparent that Jensen wasn’t going to say anything.
“Nope,” Jensen wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“Why not?”
Jensen pushed his mac ‘n’ cheese around on the plate. “This isn’t your world,” he said finally. “You’re a decent guy. You don’t need to be dragged into the shit that goes on around here.”
Jared dropped his fork onto his plate with a loud clatter. “See, that’s just garbage,” he said. “You, Jensen, are a really important part of my world. So if something bad happens to you, I’m dragged into it, whether you want me to be or not.”
Jensen looked up at him, his eyes sad. “Okay,” he said, “I get your point. But…this threat? This is any day of the week for me. Yeah, sure, the threat’s a little more concrete than usual, but I go out to work every day knowing that I could get the shit kicked out of me. It’s happened before and there’s always a chance it’ll happen again. It’s not that big a deal. Just,” Jensen shrugged, “an occupational hazard.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed. “Well if it’s ‘no big deal’, then why didn’t you tell me about it?”
Jensen shrugged again. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
One of the things Jared loved most about Jensen’s character was the way he always thought about the well-being of his friends and tried to protect them whenever he could. Sometimes, though, he worried that Jensen put the needs of others before his own because, deep down, he thought he wasn’t as good as other people; that he was less-deserving of safety and happiness for some reason.
“Jensen?” Jared reached out and covered one of Jensen’s hands with his own. “I always worry about the people who are important to me. And you’re important to me.”
Jensen held himself rigid and kept his eyes firmly lowered until Jared moved his hand, and then he went back to quietly eating his mac ‘n’ cheese.
“At least tell me you’re taking precautions,” Jared said.
“Yeah,” Jensen nodded. “I’m staying away from the stroll, sticking to my regulars. And I got people watching my back; Chris, Misha, a couple vice cops. People I can trust.”
It kind of hurt for Jared to hear that he hadn’t made that list, but he understood that Jensen had only been trying to protect him.
“So,” Jensen cleared his throat. “What’s next for you, now that you’re not gonna be a priest?”
Jared told Jensen about his plans to study social work. Or maybe counselling. Or possibly psychology.
“I haven’t exactly decided yet, but I want to do something that’ll allow me to help people. And maybe stay here, working with Jeff and Sam.”
Jensen pursed his lips. “You’d have to do a suitable bachelor degree first, but you shouldn’t have too much trouble transferring from whatever the course for priests is called into something suitable,” he put his fork down and pushed his empty plate away. “You should talk to Tom. He did a Masters of Social Welfare at UCLA, so he could probably give you some good advice.”
Jared was a little surprised that Jensen knew where his parole officer had gone to school and it must have shown on his face because Jensen’s lips twisted and he frowned at him. “Tom was trying to encourage me to go back to school, thought maybe I’d like to do welfare work. You know; be a role model and show all the other whores how easy it is to get out.”
Jared winced at the sarcastic tone. “Did you tell him you wanted to study Physical Therapy?” he asked.
Jensen nodded. “UCLA doesn’t offer it. I’d have to do a pre-health bachelor degree first, which I could do anywhere, but my best bet would be CSU because the Sacramento, Fresno, Northridge and Long Beach campuses all offer accredited PT programs.”
Another thing that Jared loved about Jensen was the way he lit up and became so animated and excited whenever he talked about going to college. It was truly important to him, Jared realized; a way to a better life.
“Northridge or Long Beach would be handy,” he said.
Jensen raised an eyebrow. “Fresh start, Jare,” he said. “Close to the stroll ain’t exactly a priority.”
“No. Right. Sorry,” Jared bit at his bottom lip. “We should start doing applications for the Fall Quarter. Both of us.”
“It’ll have to be Fall next year,” Jensen said. “The deadline for applications for this Fall was last November. But sure. Why not.”
Later that night Jared had a long conversation with Jeff and Sam about his-and Jensen’s-dreams for the future and Sam agreed to help them both with their college applications.
“I know Jensen got his GED,” Jeff said, “but did he sit for the SAT? He’ll need an SAT score if he wants to apply to CSU. I can help him with that if he needs me too. And he’ll need some extracurricular activities to impress them with too. Perhaps I should talk to him about doing some more volunteer work for us?”
Jeff headed out to run the coffee van with one of the other volunteers and Sam made Jared and herself cups of hot chocolate.
“So,” she said, plopping herself down cross-legged on the sofa beside him, “how’s your Momma holding up?”
“She’s doing okay,” Jared took a big mouthful of hot chocolate and then wiped away the milk mustache he gave himself with the back of his hand.
“And your siblings?”
“They…uh…none of us really got along with Dad, so they’re…mostly they’re…confused,” Jared pulled a face. “I had to give them all a crash course in Sex Ed. And then I had to…” Jared ran a hand through his hair. “The prostitute that Dad was caught with was only fourteen. So I had to… My youngest sister’s twelve and the twins are sixteen. I just needed to be sure, you know?”
Sam’s face was creased with worry. “And are you? Sure?”
“Yeah. He never touched any of them,” Jared bit his bottom lip. “Jensen says he’s worked parties that my Dad’s been at. That when my Dad picks out a hooker he goes for the young ones with the virginal girl next door look. How disturbing is that?”
“Oh, Honey,” Sam shifted closer to him and took hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. “You’ve got so much on your plate right now. How are you holding up?”
The crazy thing was Jared was fine. Happy even. His life, which had been so controlled, so insular and so lonely, had finally bloomed and it was exciting. Even the hint of danger posed by Jensen’s profession and Mark’s threats was exhilarating, if Jared was honest with himself. Not that he wanted Jensen to get hurt; far from it, but at least, finally, things were happening in his life. Jared hadn’t even realized how stunted his life had been until he’d come to West Hollywood. Now, for the first time ever, he was living life out loud and he couldn’t bring himself to regret any of it.
“I’m great, actually,” he said. “I’m finally living. And everything that comes with that. The good. The bad. The sad. The scary. It’s…I’m happy, Sam.”
Sam patted his hand. “Just don’t get so carried away by the thrill of it all that you forget to stay safe.”
“Sam!” Jared blushed.
Sam rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about sex, Boy. I’m talking about life in general. Although,” she paused and looked him straight in the eye, her expression serious, “you are always welcome to talk to me about anything, including sex. You know that, right?”
Jared grimaced. “Is this about what Gen said earlier?”
Sam held up her hands. “Just a general offer. There’s no pressure either way.”
Jared looked up at her from under his bangs. Most of his mentors had been male, and Jeff had been really understanding and non-judgmental about Jared’s sexuality, but Jared had still felt a little uncomfortable with him. Jared had read a lot of informative books and pamphlets now, but when it came to sex, there was still so much he was uncertain about. Talking with a straight man about gay sex was uncomfortable for Jared. Maybe it would be easier to talk with a woman?
“Sam?”
“Yes, Hon?”
“I’ve been, uh, kind of assuming that the line, you know, for whether you’re a virgin or not, is anal sex. For a gay guy, I mean. But is it? I mean, when it’s a guy and a girl it’s when he puts his, you know, in her…and they could make a baby, and then they’re not virgins any more. But if it’s not the, uh, reproductive hole involved, does it actually matter what other hole it goes in? As far as the virginity question goes? Oh God…this is so embarrassing!” Jared covered his face with his hands.
“That’s a really good question, Jared,” Sam’s voice was warm and kind. “Traditionally our society has always been more concerned about a woman’s virginity than a man’s because men have always wanted to ensure that any offspring their partner had was theirs. But conventionally, when it comes to sex between two men, I think most people draw the ‘virginity’ line exactly where you said. At anal sex.”
Jared took a deep breath. He straightened in his seat and nodded to himself. “Then I’m still a virgin.”
Sam’s lips twitched upwards, her eyes dancing with humor, and Jared realized that he’d just more or less confessed to having gotten a blow job.
“Did you use a condom?” Sam asked.
Jared clamped down on the irritation her question caused because he got it, he did. He was a naïve virgin and Jensen’s job meant that he was high risk as far as STDs went.
“Only on Jensen,” Jared said. And then blushed when he realized he’d just admitted to having given a blow job too. “He said I didn’t need one.”
Sam’s eyes tightened. “I hope he doesn’t make a habit of saying that,” she said.
Jared shook her head. “He doesn’t do bareback with clients. But, Sam. I’m not a client.”
Sam smiled and patted his hand.
<
| NEXT>
>
Back to Masterpost
One of the things Jared loved about working at Per vias rectas was the variety. Yesterday afternoon he’d done grocery shopping and food preparation. This morning he was doing correspondence and answering the phone and watching Chad crash and burn spectacularly at trying to get a date with Alona, while the two of them shelved books and refilled the trays of pamphlets together.
The front door bell jangled and Jared looked up. It was Sam with Gen in tow.
“How did it go?” he greeted them.
Gen shrugged. “The judge extended the restraining order for two years. Mark didn’t bother to show, which probably means he’s not gonna take it seriously.”
Sam put an arm around her shoulders. “But we’re gonna take it seriously, aren’t we, Honey? We’re gonna report any attempted contact right away, aren’t we?”
Gen rolled her eyes. “Yes, Mom,” she shrugged Sam off.
Gen was gutsy; you had to give her that. Pint-sized and ferocious, with a kind-hearted generosity that she hid underneath layers of toughness, she was fast becoming one of Jared’s closest friends. The very last thing he wanted was for her to get hurt again. Jared chewed on his bottom lip.
“When you say you don’t think he’s gonna take the restraining order seriously… should we be worried?”
Gen turned to face him, her eyes serious. “Imagine a wild lion,” she said, “and you live in his territory. Whenever you cross that lion’s path the question is always the same. Will he ignore you or will he eat you? You should always be worried when you live in a lion’s territory, Jared. You’ll live longer.”
“Right,” Jared nodded. “So…Mark’s the lion?”
Gen stared at him. “It’s just as well you’re pretty.”
“Hey!” Jared frowned. “But I’m right to worry about you, right?”
Gen patted his cheek gently. “I got an angel watching over me. You should be more worried about your boyfriend.”
“My… you mean Jensen?”
“You got another boyfriend tucked away that we don’t know about?”
“What’s this about Jensen?” Sam said sharply.
“Misha’s taken me and Danni under his wing,” Gen said, “and Mark doesn’t want Jared touched for some reason. But Jensen? Mark wants him punished.”
“Punished?” Jared shot to his feet. “How? What? He’s not…he’s not gonna kill him is he?”
Gen shook her head. “Mark just wants him roughed up.”
Jared swallowed hard and reached for the phone on the desk with trembling hands. “I’ve gotta call him. Gotta let him know.”
Gen put a hand on his arm. “He knows, Jare,” she said gently.
“But,” Jared collapsed back into his seat. “I was with him last night; didn’t leave until this morning. And he didn’t say anything; didn’t seem scared, or worried, or… anything.”
“Ooh!” Gen came around the desk and spun Jared’s chair around. “Did you finally punch your V Card, Jare? Did you park the pink Porche in Jensen’s garage? Or did he park in yours?”
Jared’s brow furrowed. “Did I…what?” He tilted his head. “Jensen doesn’t have a garage. Or a Porche.”
Gen grinned and then leaned forward and took Jared’s face in her hands, kissing his forehead before stepping back and looking at him fondly. “Never change, Jare,” she said. “Never change.”
Jared was sure that he looked as bewildered as he felt. He turned to Sam and pleaded wordlessly for an explanation.
“She wants to know if you and Jensen had sex,” Sam said.
“Gen!” Jared was mortified. “Sam’s like my mom! You can’t ask me about my sex life in front of my mom!”
Gen pounced. “Ah ha! So you have a sex life?”
Jared slumped against the desk, his face hidden in his hands.
“Speak of the devil,” Gen said, her tone evil with glee. “Oh Jensen,” she trilled, “I got a question for you.”
“And that’s my cue to leave,” Sam said, pushing away from the desk. “I’m gonna go and check in on the kitchen staff.” And she headed across the floor, leaving Jared to Gen’s tender mercies.
Jared lifted his head in time to see Jensen making his way across the room towards him, with Felicia trailing along behind him.
“You okay?” Jensen’s eyes flicked between Jared and a wickedly-grinning Gen.
Before Jared could respond Gen said, “So, Jay, you pop his cherry yet?”
“Fuck off, Gen,” Jensen said easily.
“Oh come on!” Gen pouted. “Enquiring minds want to know?”
Jensen raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, Danni and I want to know. C’mon! You guys are hot and,” she bit at her bottom lip, “we wanna know if…I mean, he’s got really big hands and feet. Does he…? Is he…” her eyes flicked to Jared’s groin.
Jensen looked at Jared and licked his lips, the look on his face morphing into one of pure sin. He leaned forward and whispered something in Gen’s ear and Jared watched as Gen’s eyes widened.
“I hate you,” she groaned, giving Jared an admiring once over before pouting at Jensen. “I’m so jealous, you lucky bitch.”
With a final sigh she headed over to where Danni was finishing up her GED session and Jared looked at Jensen’s smug expression with trepidation.
“What did you say to her?”
“Told her you’re packing a rifle not a pistol.”
Jared gritted his teeth. “Would everyone please stop using euphemisms that I don’t understand! Y’all go on about rifles and pistols and Porches and garages and I have no idea what you’re talking about!”
“Ugh!” Felicia said from behind Jensen. “He told her you’ve got a really big dick. Now, as someone who doesn’t give two shits about anybody’s dick, can we please drop it and get me booked into the NA group?”
Jared was only too happy to comply.
--
After the lunch rush, Jared and Jensen slipped upstairs to the apartment and heated themselves up some of Sam’s left over mac ‘n’ cheese.
In between mouthfuls of macaroni, Jared finally brought up the issue that had been bothering him since Gen first mentioned it, “I hear Mark wants you punished.”
Jensen shrugged.
“Were you even going to tell me that you’re in danger?” Jared persisted when it became apparent that Jensen wasn’t going to say anything.
“Nope,” Jensen wouldn’t look him in the eye.
“Why not?”
Jensen pushed his mac ‘n’ cheese around on the plate. “This isn’t your world,” he said finally. “You’re a decent guy. You don’t need to be dragged into the shit that goes on around here.”
Jared dropped his fork onto his plate with a loud clatter. “See, that’s just garbage,” he said. “You, Jensen, are a really important part of my world. So if something bad happens to you, I’m dragged into it, whether you want me to be or not.”
Jensen looked up at him, his eyes sad. “Okay,” he said, “I get your point. But…this threat? This is any day of the week for me. Yeah, sure, the threat’s a little more concrete than usual, but I go out to work every day knowing that I could get the shit kicked out of me. It’s happened before and there’s always a chance it’ll happen again. It’s not that big a deal. Just,” Jensen shrugged, “an occupational hazard.”
Jared’s eyes narrowed. “Well if it’s ‘no big deal’, then why didn’t you tell me about it?”
Jensen shrugged again. “I didn’t want you to worry.”
One of the things Jared loved most about Jensen’s character was the way he always thought about the well-being of his friends and tried to protect them whenever he could. Sometimes, though, he worried that Jensen put the needs of others before his own because, deep down, he thought he wasn’t as good as other people; that he was less-deserving of safety and happiness for some reason.
“Jensen?” Jared reached out and covered one of Jensen’s hands with his own. “I always worry about the people who are important to me. And you’re important to me.”
Jensen held himself rigid and kept his eyes firmly lowered until Jared moved his hand, and then he went back to quietly eating his mac ‘n’ cheese.
“At least tell me you’re taking precautions,” Jared said.
“Yeah,” Jensen nodded. “I’m staying away from the stroll, sticking to my regulars. And I got people watching my back; Chris, Misha, a couple vice cops. People I can trust.”
It kind of hurt for Jared to hear that he hadn’t made that list, but he understood that Jensen had only been trying to protect him.
“So,” Jensen cleared his throat. “What’s next for you, now that you’re not gonna be a priest?”
Jared told Jensen about his plans to study social work. Or maybe counselling. Or possibly psychology.
“I haven’t exactly decided yet, but I want to do something that’ll allow me to help people. And maybe stay here, working with Jeff and Sam.”
Jensen pursed his lips. “You’d have to do a suitable bachelor degree first, but you shouldn’t have too much trouble transferring from whatever the course for priests is called into something suitable,” he put his fork down and pushed his empty plate away. “You should talk to Tom. He did a Masters of Social Welfare at UCLA, so he could probably give you some good advice.”
Jared was a little surprised that Jensen knew where his parole officer had gone to school and it must have shown on his face because Jensen’s lips twisted and he frowned at him. “Tom was trying to encourage me to go back to school, thought maybe I’d like to do welfare work. You know; be a role model and show all the other whores how easy it is to get out.”
Jared winced at the sarcastic tone. “Did you tell him you wanted to study Physical Therapy?” he asked.
Jensen nodded. “UCLA doesn’t offer it. I’d have to do a pre-health bachelor degree first, which I could do anywhere, but my best bet would be CSU because the Sacramento, Fresno, Northridge and Long Beach campuses all offer accredited PT programs.”
Another thing that Jared loved about Jensen was the way he lit up and became so animated and excited whenever he talked about going to college. It was truly important to him, Jared realized; a way to a better life.
“Northridge or Long Beach would be handy,” he said.
Jensen raised an eyebrow. “Fresh start, Jare,” he said. “Close to the stroll ain’t exactly a priority.”
“No. Right. Sorry,” Jared bit at his bottom lip. “We should start doing applications for the Fall Quarter. Both of us.”
“It’ll have to be Fall next year,” Jensen said. “The deadline for applications for this Fall was last November. But sure. Why not.”
Later that night Jared had a long conversation with Jeff and Sam about his-and Jensen’s-dreams for the future and Sam agreed to help them both with their college applications.
“I know Jensen got his GED,” Jeff said, “but did he sit for the SAT? He’ll need an SAT score if he wants to apply to CSU. I can help him with that if he needs me too. And he’ll need some extracurricular activities to impress them with too. Perhaps I should talk to him about doing some more volunteer work for us?”
Jeff headed out to run the coffee van with one of the other volunteers and Sam made Jared and herself cups of hot chocolate.
“So,” she said, plopping herself down cross-legged on the sofa beside him, “how’s your Momma holding up?”
“She’s doing okay,” Jared took a big mouthful of hot chocolate and then wiped away the milk mustache he gave himself with the back of his hand.
“And your siblings?”
“They…uh…none of us really got along with Dad, so they’re…mostly they’re…confused,” Jared pulled a face. “I had to give them all a crash course in Sex Ed. And then I had to…” Jared ran a hand through his hair. “The prostitute that Dad was caught with was only fourteen. So I had to… My youngest sister’s twelve and the twins are sixteen. I just needed to be sure, you know?”
Sam’s face was creased with worry. “And are you? Sure?”
“Yeah. He never touched any of them,” Jared bit his bottom lip. “Jensen says he’s worked parties that my Dad’s been at. That when my Dad picks out a hooker he goes for the young ones with the virginal girl next door look. How disturbing is that?”
“Oh, Honey,” Sam shifted closer to him and took hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. “You’ve got so much on your plate right now. How are you holding up?”
The crazy thing was Jared was fine. Happy even. His life, which had been so controlled, so insular and so lonely, had finally bloomed and it was exciting. Even the hint of danger posed by Jensen’s profession and Mark’s threats was exhilarating, if Jared was honest with himself. Not that he wanted Jensen to get hurt; far from it, but at least, finally, things were happening in his life. Jared hadn’t even realized how stunted his life had been until he’d come to West Hollywood. Now, for the first time ever, he was living life out loud and he couldn’t bring himself to regret any of it.
“I’m great, actually,” he said. “I’m finally living. And everything that comes with that. The good. The bad. The sad. The scary. It’s…I’m happy, Sam.”
Sam patted his hand. “Just don’t get so carried away by the thrill of it all that you forget to stay safe.”
“Sam!” Jared blushed.
Sam rolled her eyes. “I’m not talking about sex, Boy. I’m talking about life in general. Although,” she paused and looked him straight in the eye, her expression serious, “you are always welcome to talk to me about anything, including sex. You know that, right?”
Jared grimaced. “Is this about what Gen said earlier?”
Sam held up her hands. “Just a general offer. There’s no pressure either way.”
Jared looked up at her from under his bangs. Most of his mentors had been male, and Jeff had been really understanding and non-judgmental about Jared’s sexuality, but Jared had still felt a little uncomfortable with him. Jared had read a lot of informative books and pamphlets now, but when it came to sex, there was still so much he was uncertain about. Talking with a straight man about gay sex was uncomfortable for Jared. Maybe it would be easier to talk with a woman?
“Sam?”
“Yes, Hon?”
“I’ve been, uh, kind of assuming that the line, you know, for whether you’re a virgin or not, is anal sex. For a gay guy, I mean. But is it? I mean, when it’s a guy and a girl it’s when he puts his, you know, in her…and they could make a baby, and then they’re not virgins any more. But if it’s not the, uh, reproductive hole involved, does it actually matter what other hole it goes in? As far as the virginity question goes? Oh God…this is so embarrassing!” Jared covered his face with his hands.
“That’s a really good question, Jared,” Sam’s voice was warm and kind. “Traditionally our society has always been more concerned about a woman’s virginity than a man’s because men have always wanted to ensure that any offspring their partner had was theirs. But conventionally, when it comes to sex between two men, I think most people draw the ‘virginity’ line exactly where you said. At anal sex.”
Jared took a deep breath. He straightened in his seat and nodded to himself. “Then I’m still a virgin.”
Sam’s lips twitched upwards, her eyes dancing with humor, and Jared realized that he’d just more or less confessed to having gotten a blow job.
“Did you use a condom?” Sam asked.
Jared clamped down on the irritation her question caused because he got it, he did. He was a naïve virgin and Jensen’s job meant that he was high risk as far as STDs went.
“Only on Jensen,” Jared said. And then blushed when he realized he’d just admitted to having given a blow job too. “He said I didn’t need one.”
Sam’s eyes tightened. “I hope he doesn’t make a habit of saying that,” she said.
Jared shook her head. “He doesn’t do bareback with clients. But, Sam. I’m not a client.”
Sam smiled and patted his hand.
<
| NEXT>
>
Back to Masterpost