I don't think I can live by my word...lol
It’s a Friday night, I’m 15 and stuck at my dad’s and I don’t care. I just spent 3 hours with my father, and I feel fine. These little things aren’t fazing me. The fact that I might get Kelly next year, and that my geometry teacher put me in regular (things I have been whining over for the last week or so) doesn’t matter. I’m alive and it doesn’t matter. I’m just now beginning to truly understand that life is futile, and that’s fine. It doesn’t matter, and that’s okay. I can live for my own purpose, even if that purpose is simply to live and let live.
I’m finally getting over all this remorse and sorrow that I’ve always said empty and insincere apologies for. I’m starting to see that I don’t always have to feel like I owe someone something for nothing. I don’t always have to feel sorry for nothing.
I’m starting to realize that things are fine. That yes, there are things I would like to fix; yes, I want to be with my mom; yes, things could be better. But, things are fine as they are. Things are beautiful now, we don’t need to wait for tomorrow.
I’m learning to trust. I’m learning to love. I’m learning to learn.
The fog is settling, and “it’s going to be a bright and sun-shiny day.”
I’m finally getting over all this remorse and sorrow that I’ve always said empty and insincere apologies for. I’m starting to see that I don’t always have to feel like I owe someone something for nothing. I don’t always have to feel sorry for nothing.
I’m starting to realize that things are fine. That yes, there are things I would like to fix; yes, I want to be with my mom; yes, things could be better. But, things are fine as they are. Things are beautiful now, we don’t need to wait for tomorrow.
I’m learning to trust. I’m learning to love. I’m learning to learn.
The fog is settling, and “it’s going to be a bright and sun-shiny day.”