Once More With Feeling
Once More With Feeling
I've never imagined this day would come, or perhaps I did, only it wasn't marked by excitement but rather of something akin to dreadful anticipation.
I know me, and I know the signs whenever I am slowly approaching this inevitable phase because I've dealt with this for how many times in my life. Most times I am grateful that this feeling comes in my doorstep to put me back in perspective and drag me out of whatever shithole I have dug myself into.
But not today.
I wish it could have come a bit later but no, I've been feeling it for a while now and I've simply been on denial. I've been trying to tighten my grip and convince myself that the signs are just a passing feeling which will eventually be gone once I'm reminded of the reasons why holding on is worth it. But no matter how many times I look back, the all too familiar euphoria I've grown accustomed to having is gone. The warmth, the tingling, the bliss and all that jazz are replaced with numbness.
It has happened.
The sad thing is, I couldn't even tell if I'm really saddened by it because I feel nothing. If I will be honest to myself, I will admit that it feels as if a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. And what does that really mean?
Who knows.
Goodbye novelty. Hello familiarity.