Hiipie hats, Ghastly Ghouls, And Sloppy Steaks
Hello everyone, im sitting in my disgusting room right now, with a severe pain in my tube steak and my round balls of happiness. You see i went to the Graveyard tonight, where they proceded to ride up more and more around my mule till it was wrapping itself around it, cutting off circulation to the tip of the pruple mushroom. Whiel normaly i would find that hot, but theres a time and place for everything, and graveyard disciplin from my calvin klines bad, rubber band love in the comfort of my bed =good.
That aside, ive been tryin to keep myself pretty busy lately.Today i woke up at 6 in the morning after 4 hours of sleep in a daze. I was still quite stoned, and had to take some heroin in pill form, otherwise known as melatonin to go back to sleep. Fuck one of em i popped like 4 in there, a scene probably familar to the recent phish concert in coventry vermont. I didn't go to that awful collection of hemp clothes and fake hashish, but my brother was lucky enough to. Said he got to track through 20 miles of hippie feces, o boy. Should of made there last song called YOUR HIPPIE DREADLOCKS SMELL LIKE OLD COLD CUTS. Then whipped out his mule and showered the stoners with his #3 juice. Ugh, i dont' like that man, THe thought of how some people can live and die for just anotehr stoner, who can jam on guitar a little is amazing. Then theres the fake highschool phish kids, who jsut use it for antoehr excuse to smoke pot, who claim they can only hear the highest genuis of their god Trey, when they are somewhere from baked to welldone after several hundred bongloads. I know im not supposed to make fun of an entire group of people, but ive seen these people dance in my house. These Earth shoe wearin aversion to showering hemp heads,groove out which is basically spastic movements while they lose balence in a haze of Acid and Chocolate mushrooms. If a giant fire ball hit that concert, incerating all that pot, there would be enough to hotbox the world. And theyd only be happier, cause they got to spread there magic herb to the "sqaures"
Except for the jewish ones who would be angry they wasted money smoking others up.
So, anyways as i mentioned, i went to the graveyard tonight. After much searching and many three point turns we found the right area and a good place to park. As we park we see a car drive by us, sketchign us out so we circle around see their just two girls and repark near them. We meet up with them down in the cemetary, one was quite large, but the other was still a maybe, so i was being nice(Hey im horny and it was dark) . So we see this mausoleam, yea really creepy there, with the haunted broken beer bottles, and the bricks lying on the ground. You gotta be shitting me. (im just asking for a curse ) So were talking to the girls there they seem to be dull like any other you knoow, but we still walk together up to the statue with the supposed bleeding neck, you see it has no head. That was also real spooky, it said in giant block letters Hollister, so all it seems is you need a club cali card to gain access to hell and get a cool 10% saving on all future purchases. So im sittin on it, my friend is smokin some pot, and i look over on this angel statue wondering if shes anatomically correct, when i see little millipedes all over this statue. One on top of another, they were having sex right there. So after i got threw pointing them all out and singing "Love is in the air" we saw some very shifty headlights and were unsure of it untill it turned on its cop searchlite then obviously we knew. so as everyone laid little shitbricks in there boxers, and i bunched mine up in a tizzy we thought of a quick goat thinkin plan to double back and find another exit. I led the way of course, they told i should cause im the leader, i just thought i was there to find large puddles and ghoul droppings. So we follow this path and very fortunate for us ends. So we make the trek up this hill nearing 150 feet, with my trusty phone in hand illuminating the poisen ivy and rose thorn bushes we reach the apex of some guys yard to head on the same road we were on before. As we walk down the road, we see the K-9 unit drive up to where we parked with its headlights off. It was all over, my friend ditches his goodies and his tire iron(for hitting the demons of course, demons hate chrome) so we go up to the cop and starts talkin to us. The girl we just met there starts going on this bogus bullshit story, like the kind you woudln't believe when your drunk, and the rest of us just stand holdin our cocks lookin at each other. It was at this point where i noticed the maybe alright girl was a disgusting butter face with giant legions of ugh over her face, and a droopy face that made me want to play connect the horror dots on her face and draw a giant phalice on her face with a sharpie, Ugh what a beast, she really looks liek the type who just sits at her barn all day eating eye crust and smearing it all over her greasy face. The other one was a plump 4 footer with a face youd like to beat untill it stopped looking like a face. WE all wanted to fess up but were too shakin up. We proceed up to the rest of the cars to gather IDS and what not, and the girl continues on her bs story, we finnally call her on it, sara did actaully. So the other girl gets screwed and we get on the cops good side basically. So after a little more talking we get let go makign the other girls stay for a spell. I hope they all got tickets for being cunts, but probably were made part of a manwhich to get out of trouble, (the kicker in that manwhich being the k-9 unit. So our hearts stop racing, im relived i don't have to do my ol hyperventelating cause im really a good kid skit for the cops, and we all get to go home. THe car ride home was filled with repetive stories about what their parents are going to do when they find out, even though mine were the only ones who were called, and they dont' care at all.
So thats my story people, my endeaver for the night, also i went out later with kyle to the place next to i loves. And met a very disturbed man there, A giant drunkard with overgrown facial hair comes in with a cane in one hand, and a 9 iron in the other, his 9 iron is over his shoulder and on it is drapped a bag of something. He approuches me and asks me in all sincerity if i would like some "value steak". I obviously too afraid to tell him "fuck off" say politly no, then he asks me if those other people want some steak, i judge seeing how there ordering pizza right now say no again. So he walks out golf club and all with his garbage bag of fetid steak with him. I really would like to know the person who buys such products and doesn't assume a severe loss of t-cells after consuming. INcedently at the pizza shop we sat next to some phish heads, which made me wish i had that mans golf club so i could beat them about and then squat and lay some fresh steamed syphilious on their faces. Ill come prepared next time with my black jack and a whole bottle of stool softener.
Thats all there was for tonight, as if that isn't enough right? you probably won't even get through half of it, but i wrote it anyways in all its god damn glory. Till next time you lj winners.
That aside, ive been tryin to keep myself pretty busy lately.Today i woke up at 6 in the morning after 4 hours of sleep in a daze. I was still quite stoned, and had to take some heroin in pill form, otherwise known as melatonin to go back to sleep. Fuck one of em i popped like 4 in there, a scene probably familar to the recent phish concert in coventry vermont. I didn't go to that awful collection of hemp clothes and fake hashish, but my brother was lucky enough to. Said he got to track through 20 miles of hippie feces, o boy. Should of made there last song called YOUR HIPPIE DREADLOCKS SMELL LIKE OLD COLD CUTS. Then whipped out his mule and showered the stoners with his #3 juice. Ugh, i dont' like that man, THe thought of how some people can live and die for just anotehr stoner, who can jam on guitar a little is amazing. Then theres the fake highschool phish kids, who jsut use it for antoehr excuse to smoke pot, who claim they can only hear the highest genuis of their god Trey, when they are somewhere from baked to welldone after several hundred bongloads. I know im not supposed to make fun of an entire group of people, but ive seen these people dance in my house. These Earth shoe wearin aversion to showering hemp heads,groove out which is basically spastic movements while they lose balence in a haze of Acid and Chocolate mushrooms. If a giant fire ball hit that concert, incerating all that pot, there would be enough to hotbox the world. And theyd only be happier, cause they got to spread there magic herb to the "sqaures"
Except for the jewish ones who would be angry they wasted money smoking others up.
So, anyways as i mentioned, i went to the graveyard tonight. After much searching and many three point turns we found the right area and a good place to park. As we park we see a car drive by us, sketchign us out so we circle around see their just two girls and repark near them. We meet up with them down in the cemetary, one was quite large, but the other was still a maybe, so i was being nice(Hey im horny and it was dark) . So we see this mausoleam, yea really creepy there, with the haunted broken beer bottles, and the bricks lying on the ground. You gotta be shitting me. (im just asking for a curse ) So were talking to the girls there they seem to be dull like any other you knoow, but we still walk together up to the statue with the supposed bleeding neck, you see it has no head. That was also real spooky, it said in giant block letters Hollister, so all it seems is you need a club cali card to gain access to hell and get a cool 10% saving on all future purchases. So im sittin on it, my friend is smokin some pot, and i look over on this angel statue wondering if shes anatomically correct, when i see little millipedes all over this statue. One on top of another, they were having sex right there. So after i got threw pointing them all out and singing "Love is in the air" we saw some very shifty headlights and were unsure of it untill it turned on its cop searchlite then obviously we knew. so as everyone laid little shitbricks in there boxers, and i bunched mine up in a tizzy we thought of a quick goat thinkin plan to double back and find another exit. I led the way of course, they told i should cause im the leader, i just thought i was there to find large puddles and ghoul droppings. So we follow this path and very fortunate for us ends. So we make the trek up this hill nearing 150 feet, with my trusty phone in hand illuminating the poisen ivy and rose thorn bushes we reach the apex of some guys yard to head on the same road we were on before. As we walk down the road, we see the K-9 unit drive up to where we parked with its headlights off. It was all over, my friend ditches his goodies and his tire iron(for hitting the demons of course, demons hate chrome) so we go up to the cop and starts talkin to us. The girl we just met there starts going on this bogus bullshit story, like the kind you woudln't believe when your drunk, and the rest of us just stand holdin our cocks lookin at each other. It was at this point where i noticed the maybe alright girl was a disgusting butter face with giant legions of ugh over her face, and a droopy face that made me want to play connect the horror dots on her face and draw a giant phalice on her face with a sharpie, Ugh what a beast, she really looks liek the type who just sits at her barn all day eating eye crust and smearing it all over her greasy face. The other one was a plump 4 footer with a face youd like to beat untill it stopped looking like a face. WE all wanted to fess up but were too shakin up. We proceed up to the rest of the cars to gather IDS and what not, and the girl continues on her bs story, we finnally call her on it, sara did actaully. So the other girl gets screwed and we get on the cops good side basically. So after a little more talking we get let go makign the other girls stay for a spell. I hope they all got tickets for being cunts, but probably were made part of a manwhich to get out of trouble, (the kicker in that manwhich being the k-9 unit. So our hearts stop racing, im relived i don't have to do my ol hyperventelating cause im really a good kid skit for the cops, and we all get to go home. THe car ride home was filled with repetive stories about what their parents are going to do when they find out, even though mine were the only ones who were called, and they dont' care at all.
So thats my story people, my endeaver for the night, also i went out later with kyle to the place next to i loves. And met a very disturbed man there, A giant drunkard with overgrown facial hair comes in with a cane in one hand, and a 9 iron in the other, his 9 iron is over his shoulder and on it is drapped a bag of something. He approuches me and asks me in all sincerity if i would like some "value steak". I obviously too afraid to tell him "fuck off" say politly no, then he asks me if those other people want some steak, i judge seeing how there ordering pizza right now say no again. So he walks out golf club and all with his garbage bag of fetid steak with him. I really would like to know the person who buys such products and doesn't assume a severe loss of t-cells after consuming. INcedently at the pizza shop we sat next to some phish heads, which made me wish i had that mans golf club so i could beat them about and then squat and lay some fresh steamed syphilious on their faces. Ill come prepared next time with my black jack and a whole bottle of stool softener.
Thats all there was for tonight, as if that isn't enough right? you probably won't even get through half of it, but i wrote it anyways in all its god damn glory. Till next time you lj winners.