Somethings on my mind and in my heart
Well, i only got to work 3 days this week and thats a plus, also the boss cut them down to only working to 4:30 all week which is fine by me. I've been doing much better about not letting myself get bummed so much, i have noticed however that in doing so i have started writing alot more and sitting and thinking in silence even more than i use to. I have been sitting around watching some people that i hold very near and dear to my heart hurting and struggiling through really hard times, and i wish i could do so much more to ease their pain, but i cant. My own heart however is not without concerns, many of which i want to voice but i cant find the words or the oppurtunity to let them come out. *Sigh* my heart in itself has become a mystery to me, emotions may come and go but when you find either something or someone that is really special to you that changes. I know it has for me because my heart decided to remind me again about the emotions i tried to lay away earlier, but found that they are the ones that i have longed for my entire life. It's the feelings you get waking up that you know there may be someone who smiles just because your there, and are there if your ever needed. To gaze into the eyes that make your heart flutter and skip a beat each time you see that glimmer that is there. That unmistakable feeling of companionship that comes from saying i have someone who appreciates me for me, and they know you feel the same way about them. The fact that your day can be absolute crud until you talk to them, and in doing so its like the cares of your day melt away with each word they speak to you. The hardest thing in the world being ever opening that door however, what if they only want to hurt you and arent sincere in what they feel?, what if it doesnt work? what will everyone think?. All questions that are grounded, but how can you ever be happy if you're afraid to walk out on that limb, granted yes more often than not it may go astray, but if you find the one person that you feel is right for you in your soul, never give up hope and if it is meant to be no matter what you have gone through in the past or will ever go through in the future, God will see it through. To truly be in love is a feeling that cannot be described it can only be experienced, if you have never experienced it I'm sure somewhere down your road it will be waiting on you. Nothing in this world is a given except God, taxes, stupidity, and eventually dying, but going through it with someone else makes the pains of life that much easier to bear. *Sigh* alas i digress, my writing emotion took over, but this has meaning for me as well, I will not go into a great deal of detail here, but its just something that i felt i needed to write down, Maybe i am too emotional or what have ye, but if i care about someone as deeply as i feel about some, there isnt a thing on this earth that can change that. I love all of my friends so much, and each of you have a very special place in my heart.