repost from xanga
I watched The Hills Have Eyes tonight.
That is the most violent and horrific movie I have ever seen, and if you've seen one that's worse, then kudos to you, because I felt sick a few times while watching that movie (which I usually don't feel when watching horror/gore films).
Granted, Saw (I've yet to see Saw 2) was the sickest, but for the violence and horridly bestial ways to kill someone categories, this movie takes the cake.
So, while I was watching this, my mother and I did our typical "DON'T DO THAT" screaming at the screen. We only do this at home.
I've come up with how to survive in a horror movie situation (or situations similar to that). I don't give a damn if someone else already has this, and I'm fairly sure it already exists, but you know what? I want to write them down. Don't read it if you don't want to.
1. If you think the bad guy is dead, and you're standing over him with a weapon, either decapitate the bastard or shoot him in the head for good measure. Do NOT just poke him and then drop your weapon from relief right next to him, or at a reasonable distance for him to crawl. Even if his legs are chopped off, he's still got his arms. He's evil. He's bent on killing you. Shoot him again.
2. Do not stop in at a questionable looking gas station in the middle of nowhere, and take directions from the attendant. Nor should you get out of your car and go inside for any reason (if in the middle of no where and no one else besides the attendant is there. Make sure facility is well lit, also.). If you have to pee, go a few miles up the road and go on the side of the road. Make sure you have flashlight to do this, and keep your back to the car as you do so. Chances are if this is at night and you're on a deserted road, you don't have to worry about anyone else seeing you (besides the yet to be discovered demented psychopath that wants to mutilate you). Lock doors to car as soon as you get out. Keep keys with you when you do this. Unlock, get back in, relock, and be on your merry, if paranoid way.
3. If, for some reason, you find yourself at the mercy of a stranger, do not trust them. Not even if they have a child with them. Do not sleep out in the open. Do not sleep with your car doors unlocked, and make sure that if they decide to break open the window of the car to come in, you have something to fend them off with near you. Decline all food and drink offered to you, saying that you ate earlier or something to that effect. If they are fixing your car, and you are forced to be under even more dire circumstances, keep a sharp object on or near your person, and be careful to keep it concealed while you sleep, if you do so at all.
4. When traveling across great expanses of land that has few gas stations and/or restaurants, keep needed materials with you. It's best if it's easy to get to, such as the back seat, and it's best if it's something that doesn't spoil within a few days and doesn't require heating and/or re hydration. Think canned soup, canned fish, pretty much anything canned. It would probably be a good idea to have a little portable grill or something (maybe some flint and an axe for good ol' fashioned fires, if you know how to make them) to heat food on or keep warm, but these require power or fire starters/ those canned heat thingies in order to use. Keep lots of extra water. Also a blanket is ideal for warmth if hiding out in your car, and if you're hurt can provide a bandage at the expense of keeping warm (though your ass had better be running to get help if it comes to that, and keeping water on you while you bleed and run is also a very good idea). Also, keep at least 1 extra, filled emergency gas can with you. This is a very useful object.
5. Common sense is essential. Humans are supposed to come standard with this, but sometimes manufacturers can (and will, make no mistake) fuck up and forget to equip their product with needed instincts, sense, and will to fight. If you find yourself in the common gory horror movie, and you lack basic things such as those... you're screwed. Accept your fate, and to avoid a particularly nasty death just off yourself before the demented S.O.B. starts to torture you and have fun with your body and mind.
6. I cannot stress this point enough. BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU IF YOU'RE TRAVELING. I don't care about the romance or sexual tension in a horror film, and you certainly won't be wanting to get laid (unless you're one of those people who gets turned on by it all) if you're being chased by someone who wants to kill you in the sickest ways. Bring a person who will not distract you from dire situation at hand and will actually help you if you're stuck or have lost your head (figuratively, but literally is a good thing too. Though you'll be dead, you'll at least know they cared) and won't be preoccupied with trying to get into your pants because they think they're going to die and they want one last good fuck before going down. If you are a girl, a gay guy who's not afraid to avenge his good girl buddy or protect her if it comes to it. If you're a guy, a butch lesbian. Butch lesbian, watch out for desperate guy friend. Siblings and/or parents also a good choice, because family will (usually) fight the hardest for one another.
7. This pertains in real life situations the most, but also a good add on if you want to be disliked by your audience if you're in a movie, though in a movie the threat isn't real. Do not be a big bad ass who's not afraid of anything and is likely to be portrayed as either the thug or the idiot courage character. This will get you no where, because where the lack of fear is, the lack of heightened senses also is. You might be the most aware person in the world, but if you can't think quickly on your feet and just take it like it is, you won't last long. A certain level of fear is ideal, because fear and desperation breeds creativity and effectiveness that normal levels of such things do not. And like it or not, those of you who read this, you are not the all powerful Mo' Fo's you think you are, who are smart, quick, and strong. You will screw up at some point, whether you like it or not. Life is also not like a video game. Human lives are most of the time very hard to extinguish. Your opponent will probably be about 80+ levels higher than your ass.
8. Likely if you encounter your psychopath, you will get hurt. It's rare if you don't. Don't freak out if it's a cut or a minor bullet wound (I'd tell you what's minor or major, but to keep it on the easy side, if you can still move and breathe, you can still think, this is a minor wound). If your fingers get chopped off on one hand, because that seems to be popular, just remember to tie your hand off to slow the circulation to that hand and keep it above your heart. Hysterical crying with major wounds isn't helpful, but I don't think you'll be able to help it at that point.
9. Normal peoples' fear level will be high. To calculate this, take the most scared feeling you've ever had, and multiply that by 10. If numbness of mind and shock have not set in, prepare for this feeling, and do not curl into the fetal position while your psychopath comes at you with a knife/firearm/other object you'd wish didn't exist and you'd wish you had never seen.
10. Because I know you took my advice and traveled with another person, if they have the horrible luck of getting abducted by the psychopath before you, you should attempt to help them, even if this seems foolhardy and stupid. I know you're afraid, I know you're panicking, but two minds and bodies are better than one. Because, most of the time, you won't be near people who will help you, the psychopath will be preoccupied with securing and possibly torturing your friend. Go find said psychopath and friend. Find cover. Look for opening, keep senses aware, formulate a plan before ANY actions. Formulate back up plan. Formulate back up for back up plan. Have weapon when rescue mission is attempted, and be as quiet as humanly and situationally possible.
All these things bank on the notion that you are, in the beginning paranoid, in the middle clear-headed enough to think wisely, and in the end courageous enough to do what needs to be done. Life does not, most often, accommodate you with all of the above mentioned things, and for the sake of myself along with whoever may be unfortunate enough to be in this situation I've written out what I think will help you live, if you have that wish.
the easy way out, and the number
11. When all else fails, and hopelessness and severe fear sets in, kill yourself before your psychopath kills you.
I might hate you all, but I hate the demented psychopath more than you.
That is the most violent and horrific movie I have ever seen, and if you've seen one that's worse, then kudos to you, because I felt sick a few times while watching that movie (which I usually don't feel when watching horror/gore films).
Granted, Saw (I've yet to see Saw 2) was the sickest, but for the violence and horridly bestial ways to kill someone categories, this movie takes the cake.
So, while I was watching this, my mother and I did our typical "DON'T DO THAT" screaming at the screen. We only do this at home.
I've come up with how to survive in a horror movie situation (or situations similar to that). I don't give a damn if someone else already has this, and I'm fairly sure it already exists, but you know what? I want to write them down. Don't read it if you don't want to.
1. If you think the bad guy is dead, and you're standing over him with a weapon, either decapitate the bastard or shoot him in the head for good measure. Do NOT just poke him and then drop your weapon from relief right next to him, or at a reasonable distance for him to crawl. Even if his legs are chopped off, he's still got his arms. He's evil. He's bent on killing you. Shoot him again.
2. Do not stop in at a questionable looking gas station in the middle of nowhere, and take directions from the attendant. Nor should you get out of your car and go inside for any reason (if in the middle of no where and no one else besides the attendant is there. Make sure facility is well lit, also.). If you have to pee, go a few miles up the road and go on the side of the road. Make sure you have flashlight to do this, and keep your back to the car as you do so. Chances are if this is at night and you're on a deserted road, you don't have to worry about anyone else seeing you (besides the yet to be discovered demented psychopath that wants to mutilate you). Lock doors to car as soon as you get out. Keep keys with you when you do this. Unlock, get back in, relock, and be on your merry, if paranoid way.
3. If, for some reason, you find yourself at the mercy of a stranger, do not trust them. Not even if they have a child with them. Do not sleep out in the open. Do not sleep with your car doors unlocked, and make sure that if they decide to break open the window of the car to come in, you have something to fend them off with near you. Decline all food and drink offered to you, saying that you ate earlier or something to that effect. If they are fixing your car, and you are forced to be under even more dire circumstances, keep a sharp object on or near your person, and be careful to keep it concealed while you sleep, if you do so at all.
4. When traveling across great expanses of land that has few gas stations and/or restaurants, keep needed materials with you. It's best if it's easy to get to, such as the back seat, and it's best if it's something that doesn't spoil within a few days and doesn't require heating and/or re hydration. Think canned soup, canned fish, pretty much anything canned. It would probably be a good idea to have a little portable grill or something (maybe some flint and an axe for good ol' fashioned fires, if you know how to make them) to heat food on or keep warm, but these require power or fire starters/ those canned heat thingies in order to use. Keep lots of extra water. Also a blanket is ideal for warmth if hiding out in your car, and if you're hurt can provide a bandage at the expense of keeping warm (though your ass had better be running to get help if it comes to that, and keeping water on you while you bleed and run is also a very good idea). Also, keep at least 1 extra, filled emergency gas can with you. This is a very useful object.
5. Common sense is essential. Humans are supposed to come standard with this, but sometimes manufacturers can (and will, make no mistake) fuck up and forget to equip their product with needed instincts, sense, and will to fight. If you find yourself in the common gory horror movie, and you lack basic things such as those... you're screwed. Accept your fate, and to avoid a particularly nasty death just off yourself before the demented S.O.B. starts to torture you and have fun with your body and mind.
6. I cannot stress this point enough. BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU IF YOU'RE TRAVELING. I don't care about the romance or sexual tension in a horror film, and you certainly won't be wanting to get laid (unless you're one of those people who gets turned on by it all) if you're being chased by someone who wants to kill you in the sickest ways. Bring a person who will not distract you from dire situation at hand and will actually help you if you're stuck or have lost your head (figuratively, but literally is a good thing too. Though you'll be dead, you'll at least know they cared) and won't be preoccupied with trying to get into your pants because they think they're going to die and they want one last good fuck before going down. If you are a girl, a gay guy who's not afraid to avenge his good girl buddy or protect her if it comes to it. If you're a guy, a butch lesbian. Butch lesbian, watch out for desperate guy friend. Siblings and/or parents also a good choice, because family will (usually) fight the hardest for one another.
7. This pertains in real life situations the most, but also a good add on if you want to be disliked by your audience if you're in a movie, though in a movie the threat isn't real. Do not be a big bad ass who's not afraid of anything and is likely to be portrayed as either the thug or the idiot courage character. This will get you no where, because where the lack of fear is, the lack of heightened senses also is. You might be the most aware person in the world, but if you can't think quickly on your feet and just take it like it is, you won't last long. A certain level of fear is ideal, because fear and desperation breeds creativity and effectiveness that normal levels of such things do not. And like it or not, those of you who read this, you are not the all powerful Mo' Fo's you think you are, who are smart, quick, and strong. You will screw up at some point, whether you like it or not. Life is also not like a video game. Human lives are most of the time very hard to extinguish. Your opponent will probably be about 80+ levels higher than your ass.
8. Likely if you encounter your psychopath, you will get hurt. It's rare if you don't. Don't freak out if it's a cut or a minor bullet wound (I'd tell you what's minor or major, but to keep it on the easy side, if you can still move and breathe, you can still think, this is a minor wound). If your fingers get chopped off on one hand, because that seems to be popular, just remember to tie your hand off to slow the circulation to that hand and keep it above your heart. Hysterical crying with major wounds isn't helpful, but I don't think you'll be able to help it at that point.
9. Normal peoples' fear level will be high. To calculate this, take the most scared feeling you've ever had, and multiply that by 10. If numbness of mind and shock have not set in, prepare for this feeling, and do not curl into the fetal position while your psychopath comes at you with a knife/firearm/other object you'd wish didn't exist and you'd wish you had never seen.
10. Because I know you took my advice and traveled with another person, if they have the horrible luck of getting abducted by the psychopath before you, you should attempt to help them, even if this seems foolhardy and stupid. I know you're afraid, I know you're panicking, but two minds and bodies are better than one. Because, most of the time, you won't be near people who will help you, the psychopath will be preoccupied with securing and possibly torturing your friend. Go find said psychopath and friend. Find cover. Look for opening, keep senses aware, formulate a plan before ANY actions. Formulate back up plan. Formulate back up for back up plan. Have weapon when rescue mission is attempted, and be as quiet as humanly and situationally possible.
All these things bank on the notion that you are, in the beginning paranoid, in the middle clear-headed enough to think wisely, and in the end courageous enough to do what needs to be done. Life does not, most often, accommodate you with all of the above mentioned things, and for the sake of myself along with whoever may be unfortunate enough to be in this situation I've written out what I think will help you live, if you have that wish.
the easy way out, and the number
11. When all else fails, and hopelessness and severe fear sets in, kill yourself before your psychopath kills you.
I might hate you all, but I hate the demented psychopath more than you.