Angel on His Shoulder (Ch. 8)
Title: Angel on His Shoulder (Ch. 8)
Author: ZanneS
Genre: RPS/AU/het
Rating: PG
Characters: Jensen, Castiel, Jensen/OFC
Summary: Castiel is a terrible wingman.
Author's Note: Thanks to trocket for betaing! This is another vignette in the Castiel-as-Jensen's-imaginary-friend story.
Disclaimer: Kripke owns Castiel and Jensen owns himself.
“You have another social gathering this weekend?”
Jensen yelped, wide eyes peering from under the edge of the towel draped over his head as he glared in Castiel’s direction. “Cas! How many times do I have to tell you to knock when I’m in the bathroom?” Suddenly realizing the state of his affairs, he grabbed the wet towel and wrapped it around his waist instead, concealing his nakedness beneath. “You’re like my very own perverted stalker.”
Castiel cocked his head in Jensen’s direction, brow furrowed slightly. “I do not…stalk,” he corrected.
Jensen just hummed his disagreement under his breath and rubbed on some deodorant, lifting his arm and sniffing to make sure the scent took hold.
“You smell of the pine tree hanging from the mirror in your car,” Castiel informed him, his face appearing blanker than usual.
“I’ll take that as a plus,” Jensen said, staring at Castiel in the bathroom mirror with a furrowed brow. “You OK?”
Castiel just stood straighter, the shadows collected in the creases of the shower curtain behind him seeming to flutter in a nonexistent breeze. “You went out last weekend, and the one before.”
“Yeah?” Jensen asked, tugging on his underpants beneath his towel. “That’s a good thing; people think I’m normal enough to invite into their homes. It means the crazy hasn’t ruined my life forever.”
When he looked up, Castiel was gone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gabriella was a friendly girl.
Very friendly, Jensen quickly amended when he felt her hand grip his dick through his jeans.
Not like he could talk, considering her tongue was in his mouth and his hand had been under her shirt for the last fifteen minutes. She tasted like beer and pot and the faintest hint of strawberry lipgloss, something Jensen chose not to focus on as the mix wasn’t altogether his favorite flavor sensation. In fact, if he spent another second thinking about it, he’d probably vomit all over her rather ample cleavage.
So he did what any red-blooded American high school boy would do in this situation and pinched her nipple to make her moan as he pushed harder into her hand.
“Let’s go upstairs,” she whispered huskily into his ear.
Jensen was onboard with that plan. They left the milling masses grinding to the beat of whatever was spilling out of the speakers as Gabriella almost literally led him by the dick up the stairs while he did his best to slip his fingers under the elastic hem of her panties beneath her tight skirt.
Muffled giggles and moans came from behind the first few doors, but luck was still on his side and they stumbled into what looked to be an unoccupied room. Jensen removed his fingers from Gabriella’s vagina long enough to slam and lock the door shut behind them as she blindly flipped on one of the light switches, filling the room with soft light.
“I wanna see you,” she told him with a triumphant smile, and she flicked open the buttons on his jeans as she tugged him forward.
Jensen ignored the stuffed animal audience that indicated this might be Marc’s little sister’s room, and obediently followed Gabriella onto the bed.
He lay atop her, their bodies askew on the rumpled duvet, and he lifted his mouth away from her breast long enough to give a guttural moan as her hand finally wrapped around naked flesh.
“Oh, God,” Jensen hissed against her hair. “That feels good.”
Gabriella bit her lip, looking pleased, before scraping her teeth along his jaw. Her short skirt was already pushed up onto her hips, and Jensen could feel her heat burning him through the wet silk of her panties.
“You know what would feel even better?” Gabriella asked, licking the curl of his ear. “You inside me.”
A garbled noise came from Jensen at that bit of insight, and his hand brushed up the inside of her thigh before sinking into her damp heat. Her breath puffed out against his throat as she arched into his hand, and he dutifully explored the territory.
“What are you doing?”
Jensen stilled for a moment, prompting a pleading noise from the girl beneath him as he spotted Castiel perched atop the white dresser across from the bed.
“Do you think this is a wise course of action?” Castiel asked, looking at him just like he did that time when Jensen was eight and Jensen had suggested jumping from the garage roof and into the pool.
Jensen made what he hoped sounded like a go away noise into Gabriella’s mouth, his eyes fixed on Cas, but his friend didn’t seem to understand the code, instead picking up a long eared rabbit from the counter beside him.
“You had one very similar to this several years ago,” Cas said, looking very seriously at the buck-toothed bunny’s threadbare smile. “What happened to Mr. Jangles?”
Gabriella moaned louder to encourage him, her fingers digging their way between them to guide his dick toward her entrance. At the feel of the bonfire between her legs and the silk edge of her panties caressing the tip of his cock, Jensen made a promise to himself to not only ignore Castiel, but also to work on his non-existent telepathic abilities so he could beam his ire directly into Castiel’s brain the next time he tried to cockblock him.
“M mphy,” Jensen mumbled quite firmly, shifting for a better angle around her panties that he had pushed aside with his thumb.
Gabriella pulled her mouth away from his. “What did you say?”
“It would be easier to understand you without the young lady’s tongue in your mouth,” Castiel said.
Jensen stilled, his entire body stiffening over Gabriella’s, and shouted, “Go away!”
He knew he should’ve just kept his mouth shut seconds before Gabriella’s lovely hand removed itself from the vicinity of his leaking dick. Jensen was almost afraid to look at her, and realized he should’ve followed his original instinct when he saw the frown marring her smooth skin.
Gabriella was stronger than she looked though, to be fair, most of Jensen’s blood flow had been centered in his groin for a while. She shoved him off her and struggled to tug her skirt down and straighten her shirt even as she got off the bed.
“You are such a jerk!” she shouted, looking far less attractive when her face was red and scrunched up like that. She picked up one of the numerous stuffed animals and threw it at Jensen’s head, before slamming the bedroom door behind her.
Jensen’s dick seemed to process events faster than his brain did, and was looking far less happy with this state of affairs than it recently had been. He didn’t even have energy enough to yell at Castiel, who watched things unfold with detached interest.
Jensen took several deep breaths and tucked himself back into his jeans, though he didn’t bother to button them. “What are you doing here, Cas?”
“It is my duty.”
“To what? Prevent me from getting laid?”
Castiel didn’t respond to that, so Jensen threw his head back and covered his eyes with his hand. “OK, since I can’t go back out there until she’s had more to drink and hopefully forgotten this horrible turn of events before she’s told the whole school, you wanna watch some TV?” He picked up the remote off the nightstand and turned on the small television sitting on the table by the window.
Jensen felt the weight of Castiel shift him slightly as his friend settled on the bed, their length of their arms pressed together. “Is David Letterman on?" Castiel asked. "I find his commentary very informative.”
Jensen obediently turned it to CBS, where the gap-toothed host was talking with Tom Cruise. “You're such a dick, Cas. You totally owe me a handjob, at the very least."
Castiel turned his attention away from the television and peered at Jensen's lap as if trying to solve a particularly complex puzzle; Jensen realized his mistake and held up a hand to protect his stubbornly insistent virtue. "I was kidding! Just...look, next time you see me with a girl, you need to walk the other direction. Y’got me?”
Castiel’s face remained stoic. “But-”
“Do. You. Understand?” Jensen repeated more slowly.
Castiel settled back against the headboard with his mouth twisted slightly into what might have been displeasure. “Yes.”
“Good.” Jensen settled back beside him and there was an uneasy silence stretching between them for several minutes.
It seemed Castiel’s ability to restrain himself lasted only so long.
“Does that apply to every situation you find yourself in with a female?”
“Yes,” Jensen replied. “Most definitely.”
“Even when they are at the height of their cycle?”
“Ye- Wait. What?” Jensen asked, blinking.
Castiel looked almost pleased when he refocused on the screen. “The girl was very fertile.”
“What?!”
“I’m sure your children would have been considered attractive for humans.”
“But I- She had a cond-” Jensen sputtered to stop, reviewing the situation. He winced when the replay finally reached the climax of events.
“I shall heed your wishes and remain at a distance the next time you find yourself in such a situation,” Castiel said, sounding almost smug.
When Jensen looked at him, Castiel wore the same impassive expression he usually did.
“Why didn’t you say anything instead of watching like a pervert?”
“I did.”
“I definitely don’t remember-”
Castiel huffed a breath, turning the full force of his gaze upon Jensen. “I cannot tell you what to do, only give you options. It is up to you to make the final choice.”
Thinking back on it, it had been impossible to jump into the pool from that distance, even with a running start. He did get everybody on the block to sign his cast, though.
Jensen blinked in stunned disbelief before he thunked his head against the headboard and decided to be a man about the situation - ignoring it as if it had never happened.
But only after one concession.
“What do you want to watch next?”