Bleach: Four Conversations Byakuya Never Should Have Had...

Sep 26, 2008 02:20

Today we finally have that Ichigo/Byakuya fic I've been threatening for so long. It takes place after In Vino Veritas and Blame it on the Moon and before Celebrations and Interrogations. The main fic index is, as usual, right here. Let's get on with the show ( Read more... )

bleach, fanfic

Leave a comment

Comments 33

Awwwwwwwww! evildrem September 26 2008, 10:57:23 UTC
That was delightful and touching and I really hope you write some more of these two because you have their voices beautifully.

Loved your Urahara and Ukitake as well. I can see Ukitake getting that angry on Ichigo's behalf he is definitelyone of the only Captains which Bya will actually *listen* to.

Reply

Re: Awwwwwwwww! zangetsugirl September 26 2008, 19:32:00 UTC
That's a big "aw." *laughs* Thank you. I'm glad they rang true for you.

Ukitake ended up in this fic almost by accident, really. The pattern of Byakuya's behavior was taking shape in my head and suddenly, the Ukitake muse just went nuts. Which turned out to be a good thing, because there would have been no way to pull a happy ending out of this without some form of outside intervention and, like you say, there's not many people Byakuya will actually listen to.

Reply


labymiro September 26 2008, 12:45:54 UTC
...Speechless... I loved it and I envy your language... And aren't I glad of the ending... *happy sigh*

Reply

zangetsugirl September 26 2008, 19:36:24 UTC
Thank you, glad you liked it! The language was all due to it being in Byakuya's POV. *laughs* He seemed determined to test my vocabulary at every turn. "Yes, that would suffice, but I am not Ichigo. I would not phrase my thoughts in such a manner," sort of thing. He was all formal and highly structured and nearly poetic at times. If, God forbid, I tried to write the same story from Ichigo's POV, it would look very different.

Reply


luxken27 September 26 2008, 14:47:18 UTC
Okay...WOW. Once again, you know I don't know anything about this fandom (I had to go searching for some visual aids, haha), but I am...struck! I love these little bits and pieces. Can I name a favorite? Hmm...

#3 was my favorite overall, especially this piece of imagery:

“I am here because I was ordered to come. Nothing more,” he answered flatly without turning around. Ichigo took an abrupt step forward and his hand slipped from Byakuya’s.So subtle...It's a bit of showing, not telling, which so many people struggle with. Brava! Once I figured out what the characters looked like, I was able to picture that whole scene perfectly ( ... )

Reply

zangetsugirl September 26 2008, 20:01:11 UTC
*grin* Good thing I'm not actually trying to convert you to Bleach. (Pssst. I've got a lot of scans in my scrapbook galleries.)

"Show, don't tell" makes up a good half of my editing process, to be perfectly honest. The scene with Ukitake and the last one with Ichigo both went through three different versions before I settled on something that worked.

"Seething anger" is right! Whew! That was the sticking point in that scene--there's a fine line between that and "losing your shit," which Ukitake really doesn't do.

Ah, the kenseikan was fun. It's my new favorite symbol for Byakuya.

Ouch. *pats* Been there, hon. It'll let go eventually, don't worry. I'm glad you liked the story so much. *big grin* The language--or perhaps the style is more what I'm thinking of?--was really just an outgrowth of this particular point of view character. If you use one specific character's point of view, then you have to write how s/he thinks, right? Well, this is how Byakuya thinks--the one I'm working with, anyway.

Reply

luxken27 September 26 2008, 21:59:37 UTC
*grin* Good thing I'm not actually trying to convert you to Bleach. (Pssst. I've got a lot of scans in my scrapbook galleries.)

LOL! :) I don't mind looking around, reading around (especially your stuff) but I'm just in too deep with Inuyasha right now to really give the same amount of attention elsewhere. Now that I've scratched the surface of Sesshoumaru I'm in even deeper! These characters will not let me go.

But, the mere fact that I went looking for character designs & backstories should give you hope, hahaha.

"Show, don't tell" makes up a good half of my editing process, to be perfectly honest. The scene with Ukitake and the last one with Ichigo both went through three different versions before I settled on something that worked.

Well you are editing to perfection then! :) I think people tend to overdescribe a simple action to bring out its importance, with a few scant words would suffice, as they did here. Excellent! I just love that line I highlighted, and on the basis of that alone you made my rec list :P

"Seething ( ... )

Reply

zangetsugirl September 27 2008, 06:00:03 UTC
Oh, I understand. Make no mistake--Bleach pays the rent around here. Most Bleach fics in general and anything Zanpakutou-verse in particular can backburner every single other project/fic/what-have-you that I've got. I just like to dabble more than you do. ;)

O_O Okaaaay...you're the second flister to rec this. I'm getting mildly freaked. Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled, thank you very much, just...wow. I had no idea it would get this kind of reaction.

Ha! It's ironic you should mention Sesshoumaru. Byakuya and Sesshoumaru are actually a lot alike, I think. Regal, powerful, demanding, focused, serious parental issues, less competant in the emotional department than in combat, slightly unsure what to do with their younger sibling...granted, a few of those take on a more violent edge with Sesshoumaru... Nonetheless, Byakuya might be a character you would be interested in. *grin* I'll stop there, since I'm supposed to be NOT trying to sell you on my pet fandom ( ... )

Reply


liralen September 26 2008, 15:07:10 UTC
Oh... wow...

I loved both of them, and how you caught Ichigo's pride and his ability to take what he can have without... resentment. The first piece's hour and *how* Byakuya was left at the end really, really hit hard. I loved the image of Byakuya left with nothing but Ichigo's scent...

The elders. *grins* It's interesting to suddenly realize that by having them tell Byakuya what to do the moment Byakuya said he complied, I went "oh oh". *laughs*

I loved the gradual progression of Byakuya's... discomfort. And fell over at the line He jumped on it like a starving man on a four-course meal. Hee. Urahara. I love your Urahara. *laughs ( ... )

Reply

zangetsugirl September 26 2008, 20:21:59 UTC
*big grin* Oh, yes, thank you. That's exactly what I was going for with Ichigo. The first piece was my setup for the way Byakuya kept pushing Ichigo away, but Ichigo kept leaving pieces of himself behind anyway. I wanted to show that right from the outset, and that's an image I've been wanting to use for a while anyway.

*laughs* Yeah, the elders. Sooner or later, Byakuya's gonna get pissed off and let them actually meet Ichigo, and I don't know if Seireitei will survive that. That was supposed to be an "oh shit" moment ( ... )

Reply

liralen September 26 2008, 21:28:22 UTC
Happy to oblige, and happy to be able to touch on something you'd wanted to convey about Ichigo... that was nicely done.

Hee... Byakuya losing his cool was fun to read, too. Now I'm curious about Renji and Rukia... will that ever come out? And, yes, Urahara can asked the damndest things with that smile.

Yeah you got the hard balance right as far as I was concerned with the fact that he could tuck it all away again that quickly and with that much trust in Byakuya's answer. And, yeah, I couldn't quite imagine Byakuya *being* sweet. *laughs* That's why I loved the tongue-tied bits so much, I think.

It's cool when things do come together.

Reply

zangetsugirl September 27 2008, 18:13:03 UTC
It's possible that the Renji and Rukia stuff will come out. Part of it, anyway. This fic was a vague idea of "Drabbleverse morning after" for months before I got the hook that let it take its current form. So, I'm not working on it right now, but that doesn't rule it out.

Reply


vraieesprit September 26 2008, 15:34:36 UTC
“The Kurosaki boy is unsuitable,” the elder said almost immediately.

You’ve clearly never had sex with him, Byakuya thought before he could stop himself.

That alone just made me laugh out loud ;)

You write really well. Especially getting into Byakuya's complicated head...but the humour running through it was probably what made it. It was subtle enough to carry the story and Byakuya's turmoil without being over the top or detracting from it at all.

I also really loved Byakuya's relationship with Senbonzakura.

I'm not a Byakuya/anyone shipper in particular, but I always love well written stuff :D

Reply

zangetsugirl September 26 2008, 20:28:44 UTC
Thank you! *laughs* I need an "I'm complicated" icon for Byakuya. He looks so simple at first glance, but once you scratch the surface... I can't believe he wouldn't have a sense of humor, even if it was very, very understated, so I'm glad that worked for you.

That was actually the almost-fluffy version of Byakuya's relationship with Senbonzakura, believe it or not. I'm a little harder on the two of them when they're the sole focus of the story.

*dances* I'll take picky over shippy any day. *big grin* I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Reply

vraieesprit September 26 2008, 20:36:16 UTC
Byakuya's rather like ogres and onions in that layer respect, ne...

I agree that he'd have a sense of humour. Just a fairly cynical, dry one, I imagine.

Bless, he's cute ;)

I'll haveta try and find time to read some more of your writing :D

I'm not pro or con any pairing in Bleach, particularly, though I do have a soft spot for Ishida's bumbling chivalry round Orihime and Renji's obsession with Rukia. Not so much so that I'm not open to any pairing if it's been written well XD

I wish I could write yaoi. I sort of feel it's something that needs to be written well if it's going to be written, keeping people enough in character to make it work, and I'm a little scared of that fact, t'be honest ;)

Vraie

Reply

zangetsugirl September 27 2008, 06:20:43 UTC
I'll haveta try and find time to read some more of your writing :D
Well, since you mentioned it, I guess I can get away with a tiny bit of self-pimping. If you're looking for zanpakutou stuff, that'd be the Zanpakutou Chronicles, which is an ever-expanding series/universe/thing that focuses mostly on the relationship between various shinigami and zanpakutou. Things I've written on request--usually short stuff, in a variety of fandoms--can be found here, and the master list where you can find everything is hereFor me, Bleach isn't one of those fandoms where I only read one or two pairings. There are some that I really love, but as long as you don't have to murder the characterization to make the pairing work, it's not really an issue for me. I really like some well-written gen, too. Ishida and Orihime hit my "awwww" button like nobody's business, though. *grin* I don't read or write them much, but they're just so damn cute, whether it's romantic or not ( ... )

Reply


Leave a comment

Up