[HS] Ugh, not again
For those of you new to here, posts marked with [HS] or [Skin] are about my skin condition hidradenitis suppurativa (or HS for short), and are probably TMI. Click at your own risk, but I'm not going to friendslock them most of the time - this disease is here and people need to know about it. If you know me in person, it's kinda nice to know you know what I'm going through and that there's sometimes a reason I wince or yell "ow" out of the blue. Don't expect me to be comfortable talking about it face-to-face, but do expect me to try, and I am willing to do so.
Go to the grocery store or a mall with a quarter. Look for those bubble gum vending machines. One of them invariably contains high-bounce balls (aka super balls); get one. While you're out, pick up a razor blade or box cutter, and a stapler.
Back at home cut a 1" long gash in your right armpit. Don't worry about washing the razor/cutter first, bacteria belongs in there. Now shove the ball underneath your skin, stretching your skin as necessary. Staple wound shut.
Final step: Call dermatologist's office at 8am asking for an urgent appointment for a cortizone shot. Listen with a grin grimace while they tell you the soonest they can squeeze you in is December 18, 9am. That's a Monday in case you're curious.
ETA: I love email. I even more love dermatologists who read email first thing in the morning, and respond by forwarding my email to some head appointment person saying "Please book Zandperl for EPB tomorrow or Wed. Ok to use UNA. Email her appt time. Thx." I don't understand those acronyms, but the parts I do understand are saying "get her an appointment ASAP." Yay! Boo to missing work for it, but I'm going to be sufferring while writing today, so it's really needed. Why'd it have to be my RIGHT fucking armpit this time?
Go to the grocery store or a mall with a quarter. Look for those bubble gum vending machines. One of them invariably contains high-bounce balls (aka super balls); get one. While you're out, pick up a razor blade or box cutter, and a stapler.
Back at home cut a 1" long gash in your right armpit. Don't worry about washing the razor/cutter first, bacteria belongs in there. Now shove the ball underneath your skin, stretching your skin as necessary. Staple wound shut.
Final step: Call dermatologist's office at 8am asking for an urgent appointment for a cortizone shot. Listen with a grin grimace while they tell you the soonest they can squeeze you in is December 18, 9am. That's a Monday in case you're curious.
ETA: I love email. I even more love dermatologists who read email first thing in the morning, and respond by forwarding my email to some head appointment person saying "Please book Zandperl for EPB tomorrow or Wed. Ok to use UNA. Email her appt time. Thx." I don't understand those acronyms, but the parts I do understand are saying "get her an appointment ASAP." Yay! Boo to missing work for it, but I'm going to be sufferring while writing today, so it's really needed. Why'd it have to be my RIGHT fucking armpit this time?