[IC Scene] Extreme Bubble Gum Tricks
Leaving Zander to his own devices often led to bizarre taxidermy creations, or other equally deranged hobbies. This evening, he’d become enamored with a YouTube video entitled Extreme Bubble Gum Tricks, and the sudden overwhelming desire to one-up all of those tricks overtook him
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It was entertaining..to him at least.
"Are you trying to poison me? Or just wreck my skin with all that sugar? Or my weight, for that matter." He trailed off in a mumble, in theory Zander had said he couldn't change or age physically anymore but Devin left nothing to chance in the matter; the impressive pile of skin and hair care products that now littered every bathroom in Zander's home was a clear testament to that fact.
And they were magic too; every time the vampire tossed them out in a fit of annoyance they would reappear by the next night and Zander's credit card would suffer all the more for it.
Small victories kept them on even ground, if you were to ask Devin.
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“Gum can’t make you fat, Devin,” Zander replied matter-of-factly, as if talking to some slow, stupid child. “And if it’s zits you’re worried about, I can just cut them off and sew your face back up. I’m practically a surgeon.” True, animals were his area of expertise, but he wasn’t above dabbling in human experiments. If only such things were as accepted in society as taxidermy was.
But this colorful exchange wasn’t getting this gum chewed any faster; clearly Devin needed even more encouragement to get to work.
Zander shifted to straddle his ghoul’s legs on the couch so Devin wouldn’t be able to try to escape, and he held one piece of unwrapped gum menacingly in front of Devin’s lips. “Open up.”
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Magazine lifted once more, page turned, he resumed his study of the photos with a mild sound of distaste at the vampire's suggestion he do anything of the sort. "Uh, no...I've seen what you do and I do not want to end up looking like Frankenstein."
It would have hardly been that bad because Zander was skilled at the things he did, but for the sake of argument Devin was not going to admit that.
He came very close to smacking the other man in the face with the glossy pages when Zander accosted him but he held back for the sake of not ruining the magazine. He was hardly an easy ghoul, willful pain that he could be, and for an instant he felt that little nagging want to do what he was supposed to and please the vampire...but that lasted all of ten seconds.
In a skewed way he still thought he was doing what that blood urged him to; keeping Zander from getting bored by giving him a challenge.
But mostly it was because he enjoyed being difficult.
The downside when it got to the point of physical, however, was that Zander would get tired of it sooner or later and once that thin patience wore out he'd end up dealing with those claws instead.
It really was a serious downside when Zander could simply fix anything he messed up; useful when he was injured bt far less so when the vampire was in no mood to help him or thought he should suffer it a while.
"Fine, but first I want to know why." Devin put forth that final demand with a smirk because he would have to listen at that point but he wanted to make it as difficult as possible since he was in a mood himself after being interrupted in his reading. "I'd be more inclined to help you if you'd bribe me instead of threatening me...in case you've forgotten than my level of good will and helpfulness really weights on what I'm getting out of it."
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...probably because he could get away with it. It’s not like Zander could do some harm to Devin’s mouth to shut him up; he needed his teeth and saliva for his schemes tonight.
“Fine!” he groaned, then rattled off his plans quickly. “First I’m going to make some bubbles and then put them in the freezer, and after they’re hard I’m going to make a house out of them for my mice.” ...because taxidermy mice needed a colorful candyland of a house to live in, of course. “Then I’m going to use some of it to make a mold of my teeth, and then I’m going to try to blow bubbles with it with my nose - I’m pretty sure I can get the world record for biggest nose bubble.”
All of these were clearly very important projects - why on earth would Devin possibly delay such vital work?
“Aw, but I like threatening you. It’s one of my favorite things!” A devilish grin followed; that comment was definitely not a lie. As much as Devin pushed Zander’s buttons, Zander found sadistic glee in pushing Devin’s.
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Deadpan words as Devin listened to the long list of things Zander had planned, all of which sounded like the goals of either someone who was more than little mentally off-skewed or a five-year-old. Depending on the day and the circumstances he considered the vampire to be either of the two or some very disturbing combination of both.
"You want me to chew gum for you because...you can't? Is this a vampire thing or are you just being weird as fuck again? Plus it's incredibly disgusting, by the way, that you want to play with gum someone else has chewed."
The logic was sound, nevermind in the least other things that involved his mouth and Zander because he wasn't counting that at the time and those were only marginally disgusting to people who had either no sex drive or a lack of ambition in the idea.
Obviously his point remained the same; the gum chewing idea was disgusting.
Zander wasn't going to stop until he got what he wanted though, they were very much alike in that way, and he could have carried on all night being stubborn but eventually the vampire was going to get irritated and then he'd have to deal with the complaining, growling and short temper.
Shaking his head in annoyance, Devin took the piece of gum from Zander and tossed it in his mouth, grumbling, "I'm going to get diabetes from all this damn sugar. Or at least throw up if you're expecting me to keep doing this; I don't even eat sugar outside of expensive drinks."
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“It’s true, vampires can’t chew gum. It’s a damn shame, isn’t it?” Zander replied, trying and probably failing to sound genuine. Yeah, he could have chewed it, but just the smell turned his stomach; he knew the taste would do just the same. So of course forcing it in Devin’s mouth was the best alternative.
Hmm, sugar, diabetes, all of this sounded like real human-style problems that Zander usually didn’t pay any mind to. But Devin seemed concerned, at least enough to bring it up a few times, so Zander took back that bag of gum long enough to flip it over, examining the nutritional information printed on the back
“It’s only five grams of sugar per piece, it’s fine,” Zander replied, sounding altogether unconcerned because there were only twenty pieces of gum in the bag. One hundred grams of sugar, that was like… practically nothing, right? “Look, zero grams fat. I told you you wouldn’t get fat,” he added, sounding full of himself for being oh so right about that little fact. ...never mind the twenty calories per piece, of course, but Zander opted to leave that part out so his ghoul wouldn’t get discouraged.
And just in case Devin did think about trying to get out of it, Zander planned on sitting on his thighs here until he finished chewing. “If you throw up just don’t do it on me, I don’t have time for a shower tonight!” Hard when Zander was basically in his lap like this. Devin could just… yanno, throw up on those magazines off to the side or something, that worked.
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Probably. Frankly Zander stood a good chance of turning anything into a disaster with so little effort.
"Someone needs to take the internet away from you, it has to be where you go this stupid idea."
While Zander was rambling on about the various nutritional facts, or lack of it, in the gum Devin was busy trying to think of ways to turn the situation to his advantage. The list of things he wanted changed day to day, most of it being objects he felt he had dire need of like expensive clothes, the latest new electronics that caught his eye...basically anything that made him look all the more impressive in public.
Occasionally the demands were far less complicated; time alone or some ego stroking when the mood hit.
But there was something else he stubbornly tried to refuse as long as possible on sheer principle but always nagged at him; that damned blood.
It was more acceptable if he felt like he was getting it on his own terms, of course.
"I couldn't throw up anyway, I'm tired. You're really fucking forgetful and I'm apparently going to drop dead before you get around to the one thing you're supposed to do for me." He shot Zander a pointed look and stopped chewing for a second to get the point across that he was expecting him to fix that.
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“What thing? Drop dead?” Zander replied, playing dumb - or at least trying. The obnoxious cheshire grin on his face sort of ruined any seriousness he was trying for. “Oh, I forgot to give you food money, didn’t I? You should have told me the fridge was empty, I never look in there!”
...He was insufferable, wasn’t he? But jokes aside, he knew he couldn’t wait too long; he’d heard a horror story about one of his brother’s ghouls going real crazy from being blood-starved, and getting mauled by Devin was something Zander really wanted to avoid.
Devin didn’t seem pushed to frantic desperation yet, so it was probably fine to keep teasing him a while longer.
“You can chew more than one piece at a time, you know,” he commented, taking a second to unwrap another piece for Devin, hurrying him along.
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Devin sat there with that flat expression while Zander stared him down; he knew damn well what happened when he had to wait too long and the sickness that went with it.
The most miserable feeling he'd ever dealt with in his life and when he started to feel that misery there was little he wouldn't do to avoid it; that was unfair and there was nothing he could do about it other than try to kick Zander into giving him that blood before it got too dire.
Mostly because the vampire was equal parts sadistic and lacking in attention span so it was a mix of the two that made him forgetful about those things.
"Oh, I can, yes; but I don't think I'm really in the mood to."
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“It doesn’t matter what you’re in the mood to do, only what I’m in the mood to do,” he reminded, equally stubborn as Devin.
Of course he wouldn’t outright give in to Devin, but he offered up the potential for a reward to see if that would hurry him up. “If you’re a good boy, just maybe I’ll give you what you want. When you’re done chewing, of course.” Another deviant smirk, this time followed with a slow bite of his own bottom lip, one of his fangs piercing the skin. He let the blood well up there for Devin to see and smell before swiping the droplet away with his tongue.
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That much he could stubbornly ignore, if he had to, out of sheer spite; he didn't need his hands free to be difficult.
"Yeah? Last I checked even you can't make me chew something if I don't want to." He pointed out with a smug expression; they were very likely to go back and forth on the matter until sunrise at that rate and he was perfectly fine with that...the sunlight was one advantage he was always going to have over Zander.
Unfortunately Zander had his own, and it was incredibly unfair the way the vampire used it with that little display that, even if he loathed the fact, made his stomach twist in the needy state.
He really hated Zander for that, most of the time he was moderately okay with how damn impossible the vampire was, how childish, how he barked orders at him that Devin mostly ignored, grumbled over pointless things and treated him entirely expendable very close to all of the time; but all those things weren't nearly as annoying as having that blood used against him.
"Fine," he muttered, "But you can't exactly hold my hands for that, genius."
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“Last I checked, you don’t need your hands to chew gum,” Zander pointed out, a bit mockingly. He drug Devin’s wrists away from the couch and crossed them against the front of Devin’s chest instead, holding them in place there with one palm. It gave him a weaker grip on his ghoul’s wrists, but this way he was allowed to reach down for another piece of gum himself with the intent to shove it between Devin’s lips.
...but he stopped just out of reach as a wave of suspicion hit him. Devin might try to bite his fingers or something, wouldn’t he? That’s just like something he’d do!
“Don’t you try anything,” he warned with narrowed eyes.
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There was a thin line to push, as tempting as it was, when it came to the vampire. Zander was by no means stable and when his mood hit too badly he got violent, and not the sort of amusing violent that Devin had a sick little interest in himself either.
"Try what? Afraid I might bite you?" His eyebrows lifted with the words, a smug hint to his expression. "You really want to put your fingers in my mouth?"
Clearly Zander was debating that himself, and oh how he enjoyed stirring things up and pushing some of those buttons.
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“I’ll put my fingers anywhere I want,” came his defiant reply… but despite his words, he didn’t move his hand any closer. Any other night, maybe he’d have shoved his fingers up in Devin’s mouth anyway, but this evening he’d already annoyed his ghoul far too much. Devin might actually bite him if he had the chance, and Zander wanted to protect his precious fingers if possible.
He’d just have to improvise a different solution.
Careful not to let that piece of gum touch his tongue because of just how horrid it was taste, Zander held it instead between his teeth, then tilted his face forward so Devin would be able to take it out with his own lips.
This way, if Devin bit him, he’d be close enough to bite right back, and he’d make it hurt.
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Honestly it was hilarious; all that trouble over a few pieces of gum and both of them being too stubborn to give in easily. It was never boring though, that was very much the truth.
After Zander had figured out what he assumed to be the best solution, looking rather pleased about it no less, Devin simply leaned forward enough to where he could have taken that gum.
Could have.
What he did instead was use his tongue to shove the entire piece into Zander's mouth before he dropped his head back against the couch to get out of the vampire's reach before the reaction that was bound to follow.
Zander only thought he'd won; he had to have known by then just how hard fought those little battles always turned out to be.
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Zander spit out that gum in the general direction of Devin’s magazines, then let go of Devin’s wrists so he could drag his fingernails against his tongue to try to scrape the bubble gum flavor out of his mouth. It was the absolute worst thing he’d ever tasted in his entire unlife, he couldn't imagine anything more putrid than this sickly sweet pink ball of death he'd just hacked up.
Oh, payback would come later. But first he had to wash out his mouth the best way he knew how. He lunged for Devin’s nearest arm with every intention to sink his fangs in.
Obviously he needed something to wash that wretched, disgusting, vile taste out of his mouth.
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