Lower Than Low
Wow, I haven't felt this awful in a long time...
A friend from undergrad contacted me and let me know she's HIV positive from a sexual assault back in our student years...cops raiding a queer hanging spot, planting drugs, assaulting the lesbians to "make them normal"...even though I wasn't there, t remember the incident, all the gossip about it and I know how the cops go to pick on the queers at the streets and the bars and lesbians are such easy targets...I don't want to let fear paralyze me and keep me from engaging with the outside world, but moments like these I am just so, so scared...I don't want to leave the front door of my house...I don't want to tremble at the thought that I could be next walking down the street or going to karaoke...or someone I love...I want to, NEED to do something...but how can I when the prospect of getting up to turn on the light is more than I can bear?
A friend from undergrad contacted me and let me know she's HIV positive from a sexual assault back in our student years...cops raiding a queer hanging spot, planting drugs, assaulting the lesbians to "make them normal"...even though I wasn't there, t remember the incident, all the gossip about it and I know how the cops go to pick on the queers at the streets and the bars and lesbians are such easy targets...I don't want to let fear paralyze me and keep me from engaging with the outside world, but moments like these I am just so, so scared...I don't want to leave the front door of my house...I don't want to tremble at the thought that I could be next walking down the street or going to karaoke...or someone I love...I want to, NEED to do something...but how can I when the prospect of getting up to turn on the light is more than I can bear?