Defeated
I knew this would happen of course. Nothing was going to prevent the feeling I have now, but it's so much worse than I thought it would be. I told people this would sting and it would take me a long time to get over and I was right. Is it self perpetuating? I don't know, maybe, but then again what isn't? I wouldn't call it depressed, it's not like I've lost my will to live or anything. It's just hurt, pain, and numb all rolled into one. How do I keep putting myself in these situations? More importantly, why?
Need a real break. I've said this before only to find myself pursuing the next installment, just like I'm partially doing now. I need to stop, relax, take time for me. I need to walk into the next situation fully healed and fully aware of myself before I have to try and handle others. I think that's my problem, I try and take care of other people so much to keep my mind off of the things I have wrong with me.
Let's see if I'll stick to it this time.
Need a real break. I've said this before only to find myself pursuing the next installment, just like I'm partially doing now. I need to stop, relax, take time for me. I need to walk into the next situation fully healed and fully aware of myself before I have to try and handle others. I think that's my problem, I try and take care of other people so much to keep my mind off of the things I have wrong with me.
Let's see if I'll stick to it this time.