Chaos or mobility? Mobility or instant death?
We continue our review of Enterprise Act, this time it felt like English.
I've always been amazed by people who invest millions into corporate email infrastructure, highly customized employee directories and listings integrated with everything they could think of, even face recognition at reception, virtual fucking telephony and hundreds of stationary sophisticated devices like Cisco or Avaya that can even make you coffee and probably suck you cock as well (while the admins have surely enabled this function only for top management) and do all that only using 15W PoE connection, corporate messengers that cost and arm and a leg in TCO and licenses, corporate portals that have chats, and groups, and news, and chatgroups with news, and document repositories with versioning and you don't even know what else because these bloody things have fucking EVERYTHING!
And then they start using Whatsapp, Zoom and whatever similar bullshit they found on internets to make calls and send you messages, and they also would call you via GSM on your personal mobile phone for some reason (at the same time failing to bind your bloody stationary phone to your fucking AD account), and then they'd use some garbage platform like Slack* to chat with you and send you documents, because, hey, who uses emails anyway, but they would use a free license (because of course they've spent their OPEX budget on Cisco and Microsoft three times over already) so 146% of useful functionality is disabled.
And all the while the infosec is fountaining blood and shit from their anuses because guess if any confidential document you send through these platform gets out of the secured environment and whether they can do balls about it? And at the same time IT management finds their operational budgets spent on some obscure bullshit that nobody uses but they kinda can't get rid of it so they decide to invest their CAPEX into more infrastructure and communication projects that still end up being useless for 95% of employees, because other IT management actually encourages "mobility" and feverishly pulls out another free platform from their assholes and make their colleagues install it on their personal devices, because of course all CAPEX is already fucked and there's no budget on corporate laptops, phones or tablets.
I absolutely love all that, it's so absurd, you feel being in a grotesque dream!
*Ok, Slack isn't so shit after all, but it kinda is a bit.
I've always been amazed by people who invest millions into corporate email infrastructure, highly customized employee directories and listings integrated with everything they could think of, even face recognition at reception, virtual fucking telephony and hundreds of stationary sophisticated devices like Cisco or Avaya that can even make you coffee and probably suck you cock as well (while the admins have surely enabled this function only for top management) and do all that only using 15W PoE connection, corporate messengers that cost and arm and a leg in TCO and licenses, corporate portals that have chats, and groups, and news, and chatgroups with news, and document repositories with versioning and you don't even know what else because these bloody things have fucking EVERYTHING!
And then they start using Whatsapp, Zoom and whatever similar bullshit they found on internets to make calls and send you messages, and they also would call you via GSM on your personal mobile phone for some reason (at the same time failing to bind your bloody stationary phone to your fucking AD account), and then they'd use some garbage platform like Slack* to chat with you and send you documents, because, hey, who uses emails anyway, but they would use a free license (because of course they've spent their OPEX budget on Cisco and Microsoft three times over already) so 146% of useful functionality is disabled.
And all the while the infosec is fountaining blood and shit from their anuses because guess if any confidential document you send through these platform gets out of the secured environment and whether they can do balls about it? And at the same time IT management finds their operational budgets spent on some obscure bullshit that nobody uses but they kinda can't get rid of it so they decide to invest their CAPEX into more infrastructure and communication projects that still end up being useless for 95% of employees, because other IT management actually encourages "mobility" and feverishly pulls out another free platform from their assholes and make their colleagues install it on their personal devices, because of course all CAPEX is already fucked and there's no budget on corporate laptops, phones or tablets.
I absolutely love all that, it's so absurd, you feel being in a grotesque dream!
*Ok, Slack isn't so shit after all, but it kinda is a bit.