Killing The Absolutes

[zaliness]

im waiting.. waiting for an unknown given...

~
*
~

so they tell me im skinny
skinny in a way i dont believe
pure in a way i dont understand
choking on my alibis
not quite willing to reveal what i truly am underneath
a little bit truth, a little bit lies...

half what i am, half what i want to be
half sober with realizations,
half drunk with what everything could be given half a chance

i dont know where i am
in the grand scheme of things
but dammit if im trying to figure it all out
mixed messages in the half-light
glimpses of wonder
mixed up in the meshes of the yellow afternoon light.

they tell me im awesome
im something seen to be believed
whatever

i see it all within me
every up and every downward spiral
in the dawn light
in the evening
those darkest parts of 2am in the drunken spaces
that could be the pub or could be your bedroom home sacred

listening to the rain
and wishing that the purity within that smell
could embed itself within me
make it something worthwhile...
something beyond the dreaming...

...

http://www.asofterworld.com/index.php?id=377

morbid and beautiful all in the one glassfull