(no subject)
The Aquaman t-shirt, for sale at Target for $9.99, I saw it there. Who would really want to buy something like that? Aquaman was the most useless superhero of all time, he only has special powers when he's underwater. How many criminals have you heard of who held up a bank underwater? Even if a supervillain had say, a submarine base all Aquaman could really do is telepathically order his undersea friends (whales, dolphins, etc) to bounce uselessly against it's steel hull. Even if Aquaman were to get inside the submarine his powers would be useless because he'd no longer have any powers because he would no longer be in the water.
Well I've decided to create my own superhero, and I call him:
LOWER ATMOSPHERE CHIEF!
At sea lever Lower Atmosphere Chief is just your average man. However when he is at or above 20,000 feet above sea lever he becomes LOWER ATMOSPHERE CHIEF! His incredible powers at this incredible altitude include:
- He can boil water at a lower temperature and leavening agents work much quicker than they do on the ground, therefore all of his baking instructions are much different than the common man.
- The power to make clouds take on threatening shapes that while harmless in themselves could theoretically frighten criminals into submission or at the least cause uncomfortable dampness.
- Can breathe the thin air at 20,000 feet above sea level with great ease while the criminal element succumbs to dizziness, shortness of breath, and fainting spells after doing light to moderate activities at such altitudes.
- Ability to control all forms of moss and lichen found at 20,000 feet above sea level.
- Has the ability to fly but must avoid dipping below 20,000 feet otherwise he risks plummeting back to earth.
Lower Atmosphere Chief can stop any and all criminal activity occurring at or above twenty thousand feet above sea level. Should he witness a crime being committed below 20,000 feet above sea level he has the power to phone the police and wait patiently for them to arrive. If this fails he may attempt to apprehend the suspect and bring them to a location that is 20,000 feet or more above sea level (Everest, McKinley, etc.) and use whatever super powers are at his disposal there, that is if he can survive the climb because he is just an average man at lower altitudes and not really much of a mountaineer.
God bless you, Lower Atmosphere Chief! And God Bless America!
Well I've decided to create my own superhero, and I call him:
LOWER ATMOSPHERE CHIEF!
At sea lever Lower Atmosphere Chief is just your average man. However when he is at or above 20,000 feet above sea lever he becomes LOWER ATMOSPHERE CHIEF! His incredible powers at this incredible altitude include:
- He can boil water at a lower temperature and leavening agents work much quicker than they do on the ground, therefore all of his baking instructions are much different than the common man.
- The power to make clouds take on threatening shapes that while harmless in themselves could theoretically frighten criminals into submission or at the least cause uncomfortable dampness.
- Can breathe the thin air at 20,000 feet above sea level with great ease while the criminal element succumbs to dizziness, shortness of breath, and fainting spells after doing light to moderate activities at such altitudes.
- Ability to control all forms of moss and lichen found at 20,000 feet above sea level.
- Has the ability to fly but must avoid dipping below 20,000 feet otherwise he risks plummeting back to earth.
Lower Atmosphere Chief can stop any and all criminal activity occurring at or above twenty thousand feet above sea level. Should he witness a crime being committed below 20,000 feet above sea level he has the power to phone the police and wait patiently for them to arrive. If this fails he may attempt to apprehend the suspect and bring them to a location that is 20,000 feet or more above sea level (Everest, McKinley, etc.) and use whatever super powers are at his disposal there, that is if he can survive the climb because he is just an average man at lower altitudes and not really much of a mountaineer.
God bless you, Lower Atmosphere Chief! And God Bless America!