Descent - Chapter 43
Title: Descent
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: R - NC17
Reference: Anime. A few things and people have been pulled from the manga here and there.
Type: Angst, Divergence (splits off from episode 32), Drama, Romance, Mystery, Political, Yaoi, Het, etc.
Pairings: Roy/Ed, Al/Winry, (other minor pairings both yaoi and het)
Warnings: Language, Sex (both yaoi and het), Violence, etc.
Summary: After getting Al’s body back, Ed finds that life after reaching his goal wasn’t what he expected. As the country faces the threat of civil war, will Ed be able to handle life without Alphonse constantly by his side, or will he simply substitute one companion for another?
Chapter Listing Here
Descent
Chapter Forty-Three
Consummation
Al was aware of his surroundings before he opened his eyes. He knew he was inside, and that there were people around him. It wasn’t just the fact that he could hear their footsteps against the wooden floor, or the shifting of their bodies; it wasn’t even the fact that he could hear them breathing.
He could feel them-feel their presence-and it was very acute, just like when he’d first gotten his body back. Al felt as if he’d been deprived of all his senses for a long time and now, finally, he’d gotten them back; yet it was more than all of that. It was as if he was one interwoven piece of everything and everything was contained inside of his singular existence.
All is one, and one is all.
The phrase had such a deeper meaning to him at the moment than it ever could have.
And then... it was gone.
The awareness was gone and he felt as he always had.
Slowly, Al opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. He blinked once, twice, then on the third time a worried face filled his view. Long, golden hair streamed down and lightly tickled his cheek.
He smiled softly. “Am I dead?” he croaked, beginning the banter that would end up with him calling her an angel and her firmly denying it, then instantly realized that was not the right thing to say as her face screwed up and great tears gathered in Winry’s eyes. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tightly.
“Don’t even joke about it...” she whispered, and he could hear the tears in her voice.
“Sorry...” he murmured guiltily. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but she was holding him in a way that his arms were pinned to his sides. When she finally let go, Al sat up and inspected himself, then took note of his surroundings-one of the rooms at the Rockbell house-before looking up at her and asking, “What happened?”
“Why don’t you tell us?” a male voice said.
Al looked away from Winry to the opposite end of the room where Russell was standing in a corner with his arms crossed.
“I...” Al began, then looked down at his gloved hands and frowned. He’d gone after Winry, and then there were those men... then... He could recall the rage and... Like a hammer slamming against his head, it hit him. He felt the blood rush from his cheeks and nausea gathered in the pit of his stomach. “That man...” he whispered.
“He’s still alive,” Russell said flatly, almost in displeasure. “I’ve hidden him somewhere. When he wakes we can get some information out of him. The rest of the men are dead.”
Al looked up. “Dead?” How could they be dead, Al wondered. He’d only knocked out the ones he’d fought...
“He killed them...” Winry said softly. Al turned to look at her and he could see disapproval and horror mixed in her features.
“I did what I had to,” Russell said simply. “You should be thanking me.” To that, Winry swallowed and looked down at her hands.
Al looked at Russell and said, “The other man...” His voice caught in his throat and he couldn’t continue because he knew... he knew that the man couldn’t possibly be alive. He knew that because...
“He’s been asleep since whatever you did to him,” Russell said nonchalantly. “We’ll have to kill him after we question him.” By the tone of his voice, it was as if he was suggesting they take a walk or read a book; nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to suggest they would stop another person from existing.
“He’s already dead...” Al whispered, then hunched his shoulders in and squeezed his eyes shut. Confused visions of being inside the man’s mind swirled around him and he could see himself, driven by rage and by some primitive urge, driving the sword down into the soldier...
“He’s still breathing,” Russell stated flatly. “I know when people are alive and when they’re dead.”
“No...” Al whispered. He clutched the blankets tightly in his fists. “He... Maybe his body is still alive, but he is dead. He’ll never wake up...”
Al felt sick. He’d killed someone... He’d let the rage and the pain take over and he’d used his alchemy-his array-to destroy someone. That man’s mind was empty, his soul was gone. All that was left was the life in the body. The organs worked, and the heart still pumped blood, but... but, when it came right down to it, that man was dead.
“That’s... unfortunate...” Russell said slowly, and Al opened his eyes and looked up at him to see that he was being inspected very closely. Russell looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, “You know, they’re going to find out what happened. You can’t hide it forever. They’ll find out we killed those men, and then we’ll be arrested and put to death; that is, unless you agree to work with that pale slug that’s in charge here. I’m sure he’d love to make a deal with you.” Al couldn’t miss the contempt in Russell’s voice when he spoke of Archer.
“Al didn’t kill anyone!” Winry said sharply. “Maybe you should leave! This could have been handl-”
“Winry,” Al said, cutting her off. “I...” he glanced at her, then looked down at his hands. He turned them so that he could see the arrays drawn on the gloves, and the desire to rip them from his hands and throw them across the room filled him. “I killed that man. I was... inside of him-inside his head. I used my alchemy to put part of my soul into him and I... I...” He couldn’t continue. He felt too ashamed. Al squeezed his hands together and closed his eyes tightly, but opened them when he felt hands on his. He looked up at Winry and saw concern in her eyes.
“We’ll work something out,” she said and petted his hand. She continued in an almost desperate tone. “Don’t worry, Al. That man is still breathing, so he can’t really be dead, right? But we know he killed the other ones...
“Didn’t you hear me, woman?” Russell said angrily. “Didn’t you hear him? The man is dead. All the men are dead. He’s just as guilty as I am. If you think they won’t find out, that they won’t come for us, you’re stupider than I thought. We have to leave-tonight... tomorrow morning at the latest.”
Winry grabbed onto Al’s hands and pulled them to her chest before burying her face into them. “No...” she murmured, and Al pulled them away so that he could wrap them around her shoulders. “Please don’t go...” she sobbed into his chest as he held her tightly. “Please...” He held her tightly and reached up with one hand to pet her hair.
“We shouldn’t leave tonight,” Al said, looking up at the window. It wasn’t dark yet, but it looked to be late in the day; and, by the time they got everything together, it would be dark. “It will look more suspicious if we leave tonight, and it will be more dangerous because of the curfew.” He looked at Russell and, knowing what the answer would be, he asked, “Where were you thinking we should go?”
“The People’s Army can protect you,” Russell said simply.
“No!” Winry exclaimed, moving away from Al to glare furiously at Russell.
“Maybe you would prefer him to be captured by the military?” Russell said snidely. “I’m sure they’d treat him real nice.”
Winry stood and pointed at him. “This is all your fault! We were fine until you came!”
“MY fault?” Russell said mockingly. “Who was it who wanted to be independent and didn’t want anyone to protect her when she went out?”
When Al saw the stricken look on Winry’s face, he got off the bed and held up his hands. “That’s enough, both of you!” They looked at him, and he rubbed his eyes with his hands. “Look... what if we went to Central? I’ve been planning on going there anyway.”
“Great idea,” Russell said sarcastically. “Let’s go directly to the military’s main city of operations. Why didn’t I think of such a brilliant plan?”
Al dropped his hands and looked at Russell blandly. “Okay, you have a point,” he conceded, then sighed and sat on the bed.
Would it be better to leave Rizembool for a time? Probably. Mostly likely it wouldn’t take the military too long to figure everything out. Should he go to the People’s Army for sanctuary? That was the hard question. He could probably stay on the run or live in a secluded spot for an indefinite amount of time, but...
He looked up at Winry, then to Russell. “I’m not joining the People’s Army,” he stated firmly. “But...” He looked at Winry. “If they’ll hide me and protect me for a time...” Winry’s lips trembled and fresh tears appeared in her eyes. “If they’ll protect me, then I’ll go,” Al finished quietly.
“They will,” Russell said confidently.
Tears spilled over onto Winry’s cheeks and Al said, still with his gaze on Winry, “Russell, would you leave us alone for a while?” The only answer was the sound of Russell’s boots on the floor behind him, then the sound of the door closing.
“Winry...” Al said softly, then reached over and grabbed her hand to pull her to the bed. “He’s right. It’s dangerous for me to be in Rizembool now.”
“No, he’s wrong,” she said stubbornly. “If you leave now, then you’ll look like you’re guilty!”
“I am guilty,” he said wretchedly, guiding her to sit on the bed next to him. Memories of what had happened threatened to invade his mind, and he roughly shoved them away. He couldn’t think of that, couldn’t think of what he’d done. Not now. Right now he had to think of surviving. He didn’t have time to greave or wallow in self-pity.
“And even if I wasn’t,” he continued, “I wouldn’t put it past Archer to find a way to blame it on me.” Al hugged her close, then began rubbing her back as she cried. Suddenly a thought occurred to him and he froze in horror. “What if he sent those soldiers out to get you? What if he wanted something like this to happen...? He’ll know, Winry. He’ll know.”
She pulled away from him and stared at him fearfully. “Do you really think they came because of him?”
“I don’t know... but it’s a good chan-” he began.
“Let me come with you,” she cut in suddenly.
He stared at her in shock. “What?”
“Let me come with you,” Winry repeated. “I don’t want to be separated from you. I don’t want to wait, not knowing if you’re okay, or wondering if you’ll ever come back. I just... I can’t...”
“You can’t come,” Al said, shaking his head. “It could be dangerous.”
“And it’s not dangerous here?” she asked incredulously. He let out a sound of exasperation, stood up, and walked toward the window. The sun was low in the horizon and at the perfect angle to shine directly in his eyes. He turned his back to the window and faced her.
“You were attacked because of me. You said so yourself that you were probably safer without me near you. I think you’ll be safer if I left you here.”
“But-” she began and stood up. She was getting ready to argue the point, but he lifted his hand to silence her.
“Do you think I want to leave you?” he breathed in frustration. “I... I need you, Winry. You are my life; my everything. I need you like I need air.” He paused. “But I also need to know that you’re safe. I did what I did today because of my desire to protect you. I... I can’t go knowing that I’m leading you into a more dangerous situation. Please...” The last word was a plea for her to understand.
She stood there for a moment as if trying to decide if she should argue the point or not, then finally sat heavily on the bed in defeat. “Okay...” she whispered. “Okay, but... please... promise me you’ll come back...”
He sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll come back. I promise.”
0-0-0-0
Ed flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes. His first ‘real’ day doing Roy’s job had been exhausting, yet good at the same time. He’d been out of the office for almost four hours for his ‘birthday lunch’ which had more been like a ‘birthday feast’.
But more than the food, it had been fun-something Ed hadn’t really had much of recently. There had been a lot of joking and laughter along with all the food. It was strange to see all of the officers out of the job setting. Sure, he’d talked to them outside of work, but it had been because of work or something that involved work.
Ed smiled as he remembered how they’d all been so relaxed. Breda flirted with his girlfriend whenever she came to bring them something, and she, in turn, flirted with both Havoc and Falman in a way that made Ed think it was part of some inside joke. Hawkeye had chatted everyone up on the newest assortment of camping supplies available-apparently she loved camping and hunting-and Ed noticed that Havoc seemed a little more friendly toward her than he was used to seeing. In fact, if Ed didn’t know better, he’d guess that Havoc had some sort of crush on Hawkeye; which was completely absurd, but there it was.
He sighed and opened his eyes. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have Roy there. Doctor Knox had said the military couldn’t keep information about Roy secret for too much longer without it becoming a big deal, so he waited and hoped. Sure, he knew the other officers were working to find out any information they could, but...
Ed closed his eyes again and yawned. His only hope was that when the military did release information on Roy, it wouldn’t be to say that he was dead.
0-0-0-0
Al looked up from where he was closing his suitcase, and said slowly, “Say that... again...”
“I want to get married before you go,” Winry repeated from where she stood in the doorway.
He only stared at her as thoughts of guest lists and food swirled in his mind. “I... don’t know that we’ll be able to get everything put together by morning... I mean, how will everyone get here in time and-”
“I don’t care about all of that,” Winry interrupted walking fully into the room. “I don’t care about all of that other stuff.”
“But... it’s your wedding day, it’s... it’s supposed to be special, right?” Al said, not sure what to say about this new development. “We won’t be able to do anything special if we get married so soon...”
“I talked to granny and she called the mayor (1). He said that he could be here first thing in the morning to perform the ceremony.”
“But... why?” Al asked, sitting down on his bed and studying her. “I mean, this isn’t exactly the ideal time.”
She looked down and threaded her fingers together. “Because...” she said softly, “I want you to have a reason to come back. I want you to have family here...”
Standing up, Al moved the suitcase to the floor, then scooted over and wrapped his arms around her. “You are my family, even if it’s not official. Don’t worry, I’ll come back,” he whispered. “I promise.” He could feel her body shaking slightly and he held her close.
“Please, Al... I don’t care about having a big fancy wedding, all I want is you. I just want to have something to hold onto while you’re gone.”
He kissed the top of her head and stepped back to see tears in her eyes. Guilt flooded through him because, as much as he was trying to give her reasons to wait, getting married now appealed very much to his selfish side. It meant that she would be officially taken and that no one would be able to steal her away from him while he was gone...
“Are you sure?” he asked again. “I don’t want you to regret it later.”
“I’m sure,” Winry said, wiping at her eyes. “I already have all the alterations done on the dress, so we have everything we need.”
Then it dawned on him. “Eh... I don’t have all the materials to make your ring...” Al mumbled, feeling like a complete loser.
“I have this ring,” she said, touching her hand. “I don’t need any other.”
“But, I wanted you to have something really nice,” he pressed. He’d paid a lot of attention to the wedding bands women wore since proposing, and he’d noticed that most of them were very nice and usually quite expensive. Not that the cost mattered to him. He was an alchemist and he could simply make a ring of any design for Winry. All he needed were the right materials.
She shook her head. “It’s not the ring that matters.” She held up her hand with the ring he’d made for her out of the automail bolts. “You made this ring for me out of love and you used material from something else that I love. I can’t imagine any other ring that would be better than this one.” She closed her hand into a fist and held it to her chest.
Al breathed out slowly, then said, “Alright, let’s do it tomorrow morning.”
She smiled and hugged him tightly. “I’ll go let granny know,” she breathed in his ear. She moved to go, then stopped and took a gold earring out of each of her ears and placed them in his hand. “Will you use those to make your ring?” she asked softly. “So you’ll always have something of mine to be with you...”
He looked down at the two small hoop earrings, then held them tightly in a fist. “Of course...” he said, then looked at her. He was touched that she would think of it and, on impulse, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled, then hurried out of his room.
With a small sigh, Al sat down on his bed and stared down at the two earrings in disbelief. Tomorrow he would have a wife; the start of his own family. It seemed so... unreal. He felt elated; yet, at the same time, he felt devastated. Tomorrow he’d be leaving his new wife as well... Life just didn’t seem fair sometimes...
0-0-0-0
Winry sighed and turned over in her bed. She couldn’t sleep. She’d been trying for hours, but her mind was too busy. All she could think of was Al; Al leaving, Al going away to where the rebels were, Al being caught by the military, Al killing that man without harming his body, and her... being alone without him...
It was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She wiped at them and tried hard not to cry. This was what was best, but it still hurt and she was still afraid...
A small knock sounded on her door and she sat up in her bed. She frowned, wondering who it could be. The knock came again and she got out of bed and started carefully toward the door. The room was lit softly by the moon outside, but the floor was still pretty dark and she never really kept her room very tidy.
“Who is it?” she whispered through the door. If it was Russell, she’d turn the lock on the doorknob and go back to bed.
“It’s me,” came Al’s voice.
She opened the door and whispered, “Al? What-” But she didn’t get the chance to finish before Al was gently pushing his way inside and shutting the door behind him.
“Did I wake you?” he asked, a small amount of concern in his voice, though Winry didn’t think he sounded too sorry about the chance that he might have wakened her.
“No,” she said. “But it is kind of late for you to be here in my room...” Winry wondered it if it would be alright if she just grabbed him and held onto him for the rest of the night. After all, they were getting married in the morning. It couldn’t be too improper, could it?
“Ah, yeah, I know...” Al said, and he sounded embarrassed. “I just... I couldn’t sleep... I keep thinking about what happened and...” He trailed off, then shook his head and said, “I’ve also been thinking about something other than that and thought I’d see what you thought so that’s why I came here, but I can leave if you want.” His voice continued to increase in nervousness and speed until she almost couldn’t understand what he was saying.
She yawned, then turned and started toward her bed. “Let’s sit down.”
After she sat on her bed, Winry looked up at Al’s dark shape by the door. He was too far away now to make out his facial features in the darkness, but she could imagine the indecision playing out on his face. Finally he started toward the bed, but before he got there, he yelped as something clattered on the floor.
“Um, you might want to step carefully...” she murmured, feeling a little embarrassed.
“Thanks for the warning...” Al muttered, then sat down beside her.
An uncomfortable silence hung between them for a moment, then they both spoke up at once, stopped at the same time, then laughed softly.
“You go first,” Al said.
Winry shook her head. “No, you.”
“Winry...” Al said in a soft and playful, warning voice.
“Alphonse...” she returned with a smile.
He shook his head, then looked down. She followed his gaze and saw that he was holding the two earrings she had given him earlier. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” he said, indicating the earrings. “I... I don’t feel right changing the composition of these. I mean, their look is part of what makes them part of you. I see them and I think of you, but I don’t know if it would be as much so if I changed them into something else...”
She frowned, feeling slightly hurt. “So... you’re saying that you’re not going to use them?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Al returned. “I... well... I’d like to keep them in their original shape...” His voice trailed off and she waited. He was obviously wanting to say something, but was reluctant to as well.
“And...” she urged.
“You know, brother and I traveled a lot when we were looking for a way to make things right... We saw many places and met many different kinds of people. There were different styles in the different regions...” Again he trailed off, and glanced up at her.
Something clicked in her mind and her right eye twitched slightly. “You want to wear them as they are?” she asked flatly. She had also traveled a little with Ed and Al, and had seen a few places where men would wear earrings, but she’d never liked the look. Perhaps it was because that was something men just didn’t do in Rizembool.
“Well... yeah... That’s what I was thinking,” Al said and he squirmed a little under her gaze.
“Granny won’t like it,” she stated.
“She’ll get over it,” Al said. Winry thought about that and had to concede mentally that he was right. Her grandmother had been more of a rebel when she was younger anyway, and was pretty level headed about things.
“People will talk...” she said, trying something else. “You know how people are here in Rizembool... They’ll think you’re some sort of... I don’t know... hooligan...”
He chuckled. “It would fit my outlaw image.”
She scowled. “Not funny.”
“Sorry,” he said, not sounding very sorry at all. “Winry, you know I don’t care what people think about me, and I know you tend to keep to yourself and don’t get involved with the gossip and politics around here, so... what’s the real reason?”
Winry was silent for a moment, then said, “I just... well... I don’t like earrings on men...” When his face contorted into the wounded look of a kicked puppy, she pointed at him and said, “Don’t.”
“What?” he asked, looking sad and mournful.
“You’re giving me that look.”
“What look?” His face seemed to look even sadder.
“That look,” she said and poked his face. “You know I hate it when you give me that look.”
“Because you feel guilty,” he stated.
“Yes! You make me feel guilty.”
Al raised an eyebrow. “I can’t make you feel guilty. Admit it, you already feel guilty. This isn’t about me making you feel anything.”
She opened her mouth, then scowled lightly. “You, Alphonse Elric, have some nerve.”
“You feel guilty,” Al pressed with a smile.
Winry made a sound of exasperation, and snatched the earrings from his hand. Yes, she felt guilty because he obviously wanted to do it, but he wouldn’t if she protested enough. She held the small loop earrings up to his earlobes and inspected him. He didn’t look too bad... The color of the earrings sort of matched his hair, though not quite. They would have matched Ed’s better, but the contrast didn’t look too bad-but they were still earrings... on a man...
“Fine...” she grumbled and handed the earrings back. “Granny did mine, and it would probably be better if she did yours too.”
He nodded, and she expected him to get up and leave, but he didn’t. Instead, he stared at her for a time, then said softly, “I don’t want to leave you... I don’t want to leave Rizembool.” He looked up at her. “And I don’t want to leave you tonight...”
“Al...” she said, looking down. “I... We’re not...”
“But we will be tomorrow,” he said. “Let me stay with you tonight, please...”
She felt her face heat and was glad that the room was dark. Did he mean that he simply wanted to stay with her for the night, or did he mean...
“Winry...” he whispered. “Is it wrong that I don’t want to wait until I come home?” She looked at him, but he was looking down at his lap. “I know we were taught to wait until we were married, but...” He sounded awkward and uncertain.
“I...” she murmured, not sure what to say. She felt excited, hesitant, embarrassed, and eager all at the same time. She wanted what Al wanted, but was it wrong that they didn’t wait? She looked down, and said softly, “I want you to stay too...”
0-0-0-0
Al swallowed and felt his heart jump inside of him. He was elated that she wanted him to stay, but nervous at the same time. He wanted her so much, but he’d also never been with anyone before and was afraid he would do something wrong...
He leaned forward and set the earrings on the nightstand before moving his hand over and touching her cheek gently. She was so beautiful... He dropped his hand, afraid that she would notice that he was shaking, and leaned in to kiss her softly.
Winry smiled at that and glanced shyly at him. He reached up again and touched her long, golden hair. With the way it shined in the soft moonlight, she really did look like an angel. He leaned in again; this time to kiss her lips. He’d only kissed her on the lips a handful of times, and each time was no less wonderful, but this time the kiss seemed to hold so much more.
Slowly, he moved his tongue out against her lips and they parted easily to let him inside. This type of kissing was something they had never done before. It was to be saved for marriage, that’s what they’d always been taught.
His groin ached with need as his tongue explored her mouth, and he gently pushed her onto her back. She was always much more domineering than him, always much more assertive; but in this, she easily gave that up and let him guide how it would go.
Al ended the kiss and pulled back a little. She had moved her feet up onto the bed during the kiss and was now laying across the bed with him leaning over her. She looked so good...
He licked his lips nervously and rested his hand timidly on her stomach, then slid it up to touch one of her breasts. It felt full and firm under his palm. He had to open his mouth to get enough air, and he moved his hand back down to her stomach and to the hem of her nightshirt, then slipped his hand underneath. He touched her breasts again, then glanced at her nervously to see if he was doing alright. Winry’s breathing was short and shallow, but by the wanting look on her face, he guessed that she was enjoying his touch.
Suddenly he felt a little panicked. What did he do now? Was there a specific way that one went about having sex? Did he just get between her legs and do it like the farm animals did? His face heated at the thought. It just seemed like there should be more between human beings. He slid the night shirt up over her breasts so that he could look at them, and noticed that she turned her head away in embarrassment.
“I can put it back on...” he said shakily, wondering if he’d done something wrong.
“No... it’s fine...” she whispered. “I just...” She never finished, but Al thought he understood. This was all new to him too. He swallowed and glanced back at her breasts. He thought he could stare at them forever and moved to gently pinch her nipples with fingers. She gave a little moan, and he wondered again if he’d done something wrong, but dismissed the thought immediately given that she hadn’t told him to stop.
After spending a few more minutes groping her chest, Al thought maybe he should just get down to the sex part. If there was something else he was supposed to be doing, Al didn’t know and he sure didn’t want to ask. He could... but... he wanted her to think that he knew what he was doing; even if he didn’t.
He reached down and nervously touched her crotch through her panties, then studiously avoided glancing up at her face while he slid the panties down her legs. Embarrassment and excitement flowed through him and he couldn’t stop thinking to himself that he was actually going to do this with her. He was actually touching her and he was really going to...
Al knelt between her legs and peered closely at her crotch through the darkness. He sort of wished he could turn on the light and inspect her, but he had a feeling that now was definitely not the time to get studious. He’d studied the female anatomy in the medical texts Pinako owned, so he knew what was there, but he’d never actually...
“Al...?” Winry said nervously, and he cleared his throat as he realized he’d been sitting and staring at her instead of doing anything.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. He glanced up at her face and saw that she was looking a little worried and unsure. Feeling a little panicked now, he put his hand on the waistband of his pajama pants, then paused. He felt a little nervous at taking his pants off around her, even if she wasn’t looking direction at him. He shook his head at himself. He was being dumb. He’d undressed her and she was probably just as embarrassed as he was...
Sliding his pajama pants down to his knees, Al moved in close to her. He knew the mechanics of how this was all supposed to work, the rest were just details... Or at least, that was what he told himself.
He looked down at his erection, then took a hold of it and guided it toward her. He had to feel around a little to find the right spot because it was so dark, then he pressed the head against her and pushed it in a little. He frowned when it didn’t go in as smoothly as he thought it would, then felt worry grip him when she cried out a little and held tightly onto the sheets.
“Are you okay...?” he asked, torn between the almost desperate need to continue, and not wanting to hurt her. It wasn’t supposed to hurt... right? He reached down and touched her, feeling a little perplexed. All the texts he’d read said that women produced a natural lubricant down there...
“I...” Winry whimpered a little. “Yeah... I guess so, just... go slower...”
Al bit back a groan. Go slower? He was barely holding himself back as it was. What he really wanted to do was grab her hips and thrust hard into her. He bit gently on his lower lip as he pushed in a little more. He looked up and saw that she was gritting her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut.
“Winry...” Al said in worry. “I can stop...” He said it, but he wasn’t so sure that he could. His hands were shaking and his body was begging him for release. Please say no, please say no... he thought.
“Just... Just push it in...” she breathed.
“Are you sure?” he asked, feeling guilty that he was glad she was telling him to do that.
“Yes, I’m sure,” she panted. “Maybe it will be better after you have it all the way in.”
He swallowed nervously, torn between what he wanted and his fear of hurting her. But she’d said it was alright, his mind and body seemed to shout at him.
“Al...” she whimpered and reached out for him. He slid his arms under her, and pressed his lips firmly against hers as he pushed into her. Her yell was muffled by his mouth, but he almost didn’t take notice of it as he climaxed hard in that moment. He was somewhat aware of her clawing at his back, the stinging it caused, and warm liquid beginning to trickle down his back, but none of that was as important as the amazing amount of pleasure he was feeling.
But it didn’t last long and reality began to slowly creep into his mind. The pain in his back flared hot and sharp, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the guilty feeling clutching at his heart as Winry sobbed into his chest.
“I’m sorry...” he whimpered and hugged her tightly. He had no idea what he could have done wrong. None of the texts he’d read had said that it would hurt... She wasn’t supposed to hurt...
“It’s not your fault,” she murmured tearfully. “Just... just finish, please...”
He cleared his throat and said, “Actually, I am done...” then pulled out.
She moaned and curled up into a ball, then said with a sniffle, “I thought it was supposed to last longer...”
Al pulled up his pajamas, and moved to the nightstand to light the candle. He’d supposed it was supposed to last longer too... He lasted longer with his hand than he had doing this... After he lit the candle, Al looked back at her, then gasped sharply. There was a fair amount of blood on the sheets, and he was sure it wasn’t from the scratches on his back.
“You’re bleeding!” he choked, then frantically looked around as if medical supplies were going to just pop up out of nowhere.
“Oh yeah... I remember granny saying...” Winry began, sounding a little embarrassed, then trailed off. She grabbed the sheet, wrapped it around herself, and dashed quickly out of the room.
Al stared at the open door in shock. What did she mean by ‘oh yeah’? Then it dawned on him, and he sat heavily on the floor. Unfortunately, there was a screwdriver in the spot he landed and he yelped before moving to a clear space of floor. She hadn’t been with anyone else before... He’d read something about that in the textbooks, but he’d totally forgotten about it... He felt a little bit better knowing that, at least, was normal. His heart was beginning to beat slower now that he knew she wasn’t going to bleed to death from some mistake he’d made.
It was almost fifteen minutes later that Winry came back into the room and closed the door behind her. She was wearing loose pajama pants now and a different night shirt. She glanced at him, then looked away as color blossomed in her cheeks.
“I’m sorry...”
“For what?” Al asked. “I’m the one who should be sorry for hurting you...”
Her cheeks darkened even more and she sat down beside him. “I guess I just wasn’t ready enough...” she murmured, not looking at him.
“I shouldn’t have talked you into it...” Al said apologetically.
“I wanted it,” Winry interjected.
“But you just said...” Al began, then trailed off, feeling confused.
“I meant... I guess I needed... um... more... eh...” she floundered, then looked away in embarrassment. “Never mind...” she mumbled.
He wanted to push her to tell him, but he felt like he’d done enough damage for one night. He felt like a total failure. Not only had he done it wrong, but he’d hurt her, and he didn’t even last past getting in...
Al looked up when he felt her kiss his cheek. She was smiling softly. “Let’s forget about it and go to sleep, okay?”
“That the nice way of saying you want me to get out of your room?” Al muttered sullenly.
“No, it’s me saying that I’m tired, and I just want you to hold me...” Her voice faltered and she blinked rapidly before looking away.
He kissed her and stood up, then, turning toward the bed, he grimaced. The sheets should probably be changed first... He glanced down at her, then hurriedly pulled the blanket up to hide what they’d just done before scooping her up in his arms, blowing out the candle, and carrying her toward the door.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and chuckled. “What are you doing?”
“Shhh,” Al murmured, as he carried her out of her room, down the hall, and into his bedroom. He closed the door with his foot, moved over to his bed, and gently laid her on the mattress before moving to lay beside her. He kissed her lips softly, pulled the blanket up over both of them, then gathered her in his arms.
“I love you, Winry,” he whispered softly, and kissed her again. “Next time will be better, I promise...”
She hugged him tightly and whispered back, “I love you too, Al; and don’t worry, we have the rest of our lives to improve on that...”
--
1 - Since Rizembool is sort of a smaller community, I’m going to appoint the mayor to be the one who takes care of all weddings that aren’t performed by a religious cleric.
Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Rating: R - NC17
Reference: Anime. A few things and people have been pulled from the manga here and there.
Type: Angst, Divergence (splits off from episode 32), Drama, Romance, Mystery, Political, Yaoi, Het, etc.
Pairings: Roy/Ed, Al/Winry, (other minor pairings both yaoi and het)
Warnings: Language, Sex (both yaoi and het), Violence, etc.
Summary: After getting Al’s body back, Ed finds that life after reaching his goal wasn’t what he expected. As the country faces the threat of civil war, will Ed be able to handle life without Alphonse constantly by his side, or will he simply substitute one companion for another?
Chapter Listing Here
Descent
Chapter Forty-Three
Consummation
Al was aware of his surroundings before he opened his eyes. He knew he was inside, and that there were people around him. It wasn’t just the fact that he could hear their footsteps against the wooden floor, or the shifting of their bodies; it wasn’t even the fact that he could hear them breathing.
He could feel them-feel their presence-and it was very acute, just like when he’d first gotten his body back. Al felt as if he’d been deprived of all his senses for a long time and now, finally, he’d gotten them back; yet it was more than all of that. It was as if he was one interwoven piece of everything and everything was contained inside of his singular existence.
All is one, and one is all.
The phrase had such a deeper meaning to him at the moment than it ever could have.
And then... it was gone.
The awareness was gone and he felt as he always had.
Slowly, Al opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. He blinked once, twice, then on the third time a worried face filled his view. Long, golden hair streamed down and lightly tickled his cheek.
He smiled softly. “Am I dead?” he croaked, beginning the banter that would end up with him calling her an angel and her firmly denying it, then instantly realized that was not the right thing to say as her face screwed up and great tears gathered in Winry’s eyes. She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed tightly.
“Don’t even joke about it...” she whispered, and he could hear the tears in her voice.
“Sorry...” he murmured guiltily. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but she was holding him in a way that his arms were pinned to his sides. When she finally let go, Al sat up and inspected himself, then took note of his surroundings-one of the rooms at the Rockbell house-before looking up at her and asking, “What happened?”
“Why don’t you tell us?” a male voice said.
Al looked away from Winry to the opposite end of the room where Russell was standing in a corner with his arms crossed.
“I...” Al began, then looked down at his gloved hands and frowned. He’d gone after Winry, and then there were those men... then... He could recall the rage and... Like a hammer slamming against his head, it hit him. He felt the blood rush from his cheeks and nausea gathered in the pit of his stomach. “That man...” he whispered.
“He’s still alive,” Russell said flatly, almost in displeasure. “I’ve hidden him somewhere. When he wakes we can get some information out of him. The rest of the men are dead.”
Al looked up. “Dead?” How could they be dead, Al wondered. He’d only knocked out the ones he’d fought...
“He killed them...” Winry said softly. Al turned to look at her and he could see disapproval and horror mixed in her features.
“I did what I had to,” Russell said simply. “You should be thanking me.” To that, Winry swallowed and looked down at her hands.
Al looked at Russell and said, “The other man...” His voice caught in his throat and he couldn’t continue because he knew... he knew that the man couldn’t possibly be alive. He knew that because...
“He’s been asleep since whatever you did to him,” Russell said nonchalantly. “We’ll have to kill him after we question him.” By the tone of his voice, it was as if he was suggesting they take a walk or read a book; nothing out of the ordinary, nothing to suggest they would stop another person from existing.
“He’s already dead...” Al whispered, then hunched his shoulders in and squeezed his eyes shut. Confused visions of being inside the man’s mind swirled around him and he could see himself, driven by rage and by some primitive urge, driving the sword down into the soldier...
“He’s still breathing,” Russell stated flatly. “I know when people are alive and when they’re dead.”
“No...” Al whispered. He clutched the blankets tightly in his fists. “He... Maybe his body is still alive, but he is dead. He’ll never wake up...”
Al felt sick. He’d killed someone... He’d let the rage and the pain take over and he’d used his alchemy-his array-to destroy someone. That man’s mind was empty, his soul was gone. All that was left was the life in the body. The organs worked, and the heart still pumped blood, but... but, when it came right down to it, that man was dead.
“That’s... unfortunate...” Russell said slowly, and Al opened his eyes and looked up at him to see that he was being inspected very closely. Russell looked thoughtful for a moment, then said, “You know, they’re going to find out what happened. You can’t hide it forever. They’ll find out we killed those men, and then we’ll be arrested and put to death; that is, unless you agree to work with that pale slug that’s in charge here. I’m sure he’d love to make a deal with you.” Al couldn’t miss the contempt in Russell’s voice when he spoke of Archer.
“Al didn’t kill anyone!” Winry said sharply. “Maybe you should leave! This could have been handl-”
“Winry,” Al said, cutting her off. “I...” he glanced at her, then looked down at his hands. He turned them so that he could see the arrays drawn on the gloves, and the desire to rip them from his hands and throw them across the room filled him. “I killed that man. I was... inside of him-inside his head. I used my alchemy to put part of my soul into him and I... I...” He couldn’t continue. He felt too ashamed. Al squeezed his hands together and closed his eyes tightly, but opened them when he felt hands on his. He looked up at Winry and saw concern in her eyes.
“We’ll work something out,” she said and petted his hand. She continued in an almost desperate tone. “Don’t worry, Al. That man is still breathing, so he can’t really be dead, right? But we know he killed the other ones...
“Didn’t you hear me, woman?” Russell said angrily. “Didn’t you hear him? The man is dead. All the men are dead. He’s just as guilty as I am. If you think they won’t find out, that they won’t come for us, you’re stupider than I thought. We have to leave-tonight... tomorrow morning at the latest.”
Winry grabbed onto Al’s hands and pulled them to her chest before burying her face into them. “No...” she murmured, and Al pulled them away so that he could wrap them around her shoulders. “Please don’t go...” she sobbed into his chest as he held her tightly. “Please...” He held her tightly and reached up with one hand to pet her hair.
“We shouldn’t leave tonight,” Al said, looking up at the window. It wasn’t dark yet, but it looked to be late in the day; and, by the time they got everything together, it would be dark. “It will look more suspicious if we leave tonight, and it will be more dangerous because of the curfew.” He looked at Russell and, knowing what the answer would be, he asked, “Where were you thinking we should go?”
“The People’s Army can protect you,” Russell said simply.
“No!” Winry exclaimed, moving away from Al to glare furiously at Russell.
“Maybe you would prefer him to be captured by the military?” Russell said snidely. “I’m sure they’d treat him real nice.”
Winry stood and pointed at him. “This is all your fault! We were fine until you came!”
“MY fault?” Russell said mockingly. “Who was it who wanted to be independent and didn’t want anyone to protect her when she went out?”
When Al saw the stricken look on Winry’s face, he got off the bed and held up his hands. “That’s enough, both of you!” They looked at him, and he rubbed his eyes with his hands. “Look... what if we went to Central? I’ve been planning on going there anyway.”
“Great idea,” Russell said sarcastically. “Let’s go directly to the military’s main city of operations. Why didn’t I think of such a brilliant plan?”
Al dropped his hands and looked at Russell blandly. “Okay, you have a point,” he conceded, then sighed and sat on the bed.
Would it be better to leave Rizembool for a time? Probably. Mostly likely it wouldn’t take the military too long to figure everything out. Should he go to the People’s Army for sanctuary? That was the hard question. He could probably stay on the run or live in a secluded spot for an indefinite amount of time, but...
He looked up at Winry, then to Russell. “I’m not joining the People’s Army,” he stated firmly. “But...” He looked at Winry. “If they’ll hide me and protect me for a time...” Winry’s lips trembled and fresh tears appeared in her eyes. “If they’ll protect me, then I’ll go,” Al finished quietly.
“They will,” Russell said confidently.
Tears spilled over onto Winry’s cheeks and Al said, still with his gaze on Winry, “Russell, would you leave us alone for a while?” The only answer was the sound of Russell’s boots on the floor behind him, then the sound of the door closing.
“Winry...” Al said softly, then reached over and grabbed her hand to pull her to the bed. “He’s right. It’s dangerous for me to be in Rizembool now.”
“No, he’s wrong,” she said stubbornly. “If you leave now, then you’ll look like you’re guilty!”
“I am guilty,” he said wretchedly, guiding her to sit on the bed next to him. Memories of what had happened threatened to invade his mind, and he roughly shoved them away. He couldn’t think of that, couldn’t think of what he’d done. Not now. Right now he had to think of surviving. He didn’t have time to greave or wallow in self-pity.
“And even if I wasn’t,” he continued, “I wouldn’t put it past Archer to find a way to blame it on me.” Al hugged her close, then began rubbing her back as she cried. Suddenly a thought occurred to him and he froze in horror. “What if he sent those soldiers out to get you? What if he wanted something like this to happen...? He’ll know, Winry. He’ll know.”
She pulled away from him and stared at him fearfully. “Do you really think they came because of him?”
“I don’t know... but it’s a good chan-” he began.
“Let me come with you,” she cut in suddenly.
He stared at her in shock. “What?”
“Let me come with you,” Winry repeated. “I don’t want to be separated from you. I don’t want to wait, not knowing if you’re okay, or wondering if you’ll ever come back. I just... I can’t...”
“You can’t come,” Al said, shaking his head. “It could be dangerous.”
“And it’s not dangerous here?” she asked incredulously. He let out a sound of exasperation, stood up, and walked toward the window. The sun was low in the horizon and at the perfect angle to shine directly in his eyes. He turned his back to the window and faced her.
“You were attacked because of me. You said so yourself that you were probably safer without me near you. I think you’ll be safer if I left you here.”
“But-” she began and stood up. She was getting ready to argue the point, but he lifted his hand to silence her.
“Do you think I want to leave you?” he breathed in frustration. “I... I need you, Winry. You are my life; my everything. I need you like I need air.” He paused. “But I also need to know that you’re safe. I did what I did today because of my desire to protect you. I... I can’t go knowing that I’m leading you into a more dangerous situation. Please...” The last word was a plea for her to understand.
She stood there for a moment as if trying to decide if she should argue the point or not, then finally sat heavily on the bed in defeat. “Okay...” she whispered. “Okay, but... please... promise me you’ll come back...”
He sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ll come back. I promise.”
0-0-0-0
Ed flopped down on the bed and closed his eyes. His first ‘real’ day doing Roy’s job had been exhausting, yet good at the same time. He’d been out of the office for almost four hours for his ‘birthday lunch’ which had more been like a ‘birthday feast’.
But more than the food, it had been fun-something Ed hadn’t really had much of recently. There had been a lot of joking and laughter along with all the food. It was strange to see all of the officers out of the job setting. Sure, he’d talked to them outside of work, but it had been because of work or something that involved work.
Ed smiled as he remembered how they’d all been so relaxed. Breda flirted with his girlfriend whenever she came to bring them something, and she, in turn, flirted with both Havoc and Falman in a way that made Ed think it was part of some inside joke. Hawkeye had chatted everyone up on the newest assortment of camping supplies available-apparently she loved camping and hunting-and Ed noticed that Havoc seemed a little more friendly toward her than he was used to seeing. In fact, if Ed didn’t know better, he’d guess that Havoc had some sort of crush on Hawkeye; which was completely absurd, but there it was.
He sighed and opened his eyes. The only thing that would have made it better would have been to have Roy there. Doctor Knox had said the military couldn’t keep information about Roy secret for too much longer without it becoming a big deal, so he waited and hoped. Sure, he knew the other officers were working to find out any information they could, but...
Ed closed his eyes again and yawned. His only hope was that when the military did release information on Roy, it wouldn’t be to say that he was dead.
0-0-0-0
Al looked up from where he was closing his suitcase, and said slowly, “Say that... again...”
“I want to get married before you go,” Winry repeated from where she stood in the doorway.
He only stared at her as thoughts of guest lists and food swirled in his mind. “I... don’t know that we’ll be able to get everything put together by morning... I mean, how will everyone get here in time and-”
“I don’t care about all of that,” Winry interrupted walking fully into the room. “I don’t care about all of that other stuff.”
“But... it’s your wedding day, it’s... it’s supposed to be special, right?” Al said, not sure what to say about this new development. “We won’t be able to do anything special if we get married so soon...”
“I talked to granny and she called the mayor (1). He said that he could be here first thing in the morning to perform the ceremony.”
“But... why?” Al asked, sitting down on his bed and studying her. “I mean, this isn’t exactly the ideal time.”
She looked down and threaded her fingers together. “Because...” she said softly, “I want you to have a reason to come back. I want you to have family here...”
Standing up, Al moved the suitcase to the floor, then scooted over and wrapped his arms around her. “You are my family, even if it’s not official. Don’t worry, I’ll come back,” he whispered. “I promise.” He could feel her body shaking slightly and he held her close.
“Please, Al... I don’t care about having a big fancy wedding, all I want is you. I just want to have something to hold onto while you’re gone.”
He kissed the top of her head and stepped back to see tears in her eyes. Guilt flooded through him because, as much as he was trying to give her reasons to wait, getting married now appealed very much to his selfish side. It meant that she would be officially taken and that no one would be able to steal her away from him while he was gone...
“Are you sure?” he asked again. “I don’t want you to regret it later.”
“I’m sure,” Winry said, wiping at her eyes. “I already have all the alterations done on the dress, so we have everything we need.”
Then it dawned on him. “Eh... I don’t have all the materials to make your ring...” Al mumbled, feeling like a complete loser.
“I have this ring,” she said, touching her hand. “I don’t need any other.”
“But, I wanted you to have something really nice,” he pressed. He’d paid a lot of attention to the wedding bands women wore since proposing, and he’d noticed that most of them were very nice and usually quite expensive. Not that the cost mattered to him. He was an alchemist and he could simply make a ring of any design for Winry. All he needed were the right materials.
She shook her head. “It’s not the ring that matters.” She held up her hand with the ring he’d made for her out of the automail bolts. “You made this ring for me out of love and you used material from something else that I love. I can’t imagine any other ring that would be better than this one.” She closed her hand into a fist and held it to her chest.
Al breathed out slowly, then said, “Alright, let’s do it tomorrow morning.”
She smiled and hugged him tightly. “I’ll go let granny know,” she breathed in his ear. She moved to go, then stopped and took a gold earring out of each of her ears and placed them in his hand. “Will you use those to make your ring?” she asked softly. “So you’ll always have something of mine to be with you...”
He looked down at the two small hoop earrings, then held them tightly in a fist. “Of course...” he said, then looked at her. He was touched that she would think of it and, on impulse, he gave her a kiss on the cheek. She smiled, then hurried out of his room.
With a small sigh, Al sat down on his bed and stared down at the two earrings in disbelief. Tomorrow he would have a wife; the start of his own family. It seemed so... unreal. He felt elated; yet, at the same time, he felt devastated. Tomorrow he’d be leaving his new wife as well... Life just didn’t seem fair sometimes...
0-0-0-0
Winry sighed and turned over in her bed. She couldn’t sleep. She’d been trying for hours, but her mind was too busy. All she could think of was Al; Al leaving, Al going away to where the rebels were, Al being caught by the military, Al killing that man without harming his body, and her... being alone without him...
It was enough to bring tears to her eyes. She wiped at them and tried hard not to cry. This was what was best, but it still hurt and she was still afraid...
A small knock sounded on her door and she sat up in her bed. She frowned, wondering who it could be. The knock came again and she got out of bed and started carefully toward the door. The room was lit softly by the moon outside, but the floor was still pretty dark and she never really kept her room very tidy.
“Who is it?” she whispered through the door. If it was Russell, she’d turn the lock on the doorknob and go back to bed.
“It’s me,” came Al’s voice.
She opened the door and whispered, “Al? What-” But she didn’t get the chance to finish before Al was gently pushing his way inside and shutting the door behind him.
“Did I wake you?” he asked, a small amount of concern in his voice, though Winry didn’t think he sounded too sorry about the chance that he might have wakened her.
“No,” she said. “But it is kind of late for you to be here in my room...” Winry wondered it if it would be alright if she just grabbed him and held onto him for the rest of the night. After all, they were getting married in the morning. It couldn’t be too improper, could it?
“Ah, yeah, I know...” Al said, and he sounded embarrassed. “I just... I couldn’t sleep... I keep thinking about what happened and...” He trailed off, then shook his head and said, “I’ve also been thinking about something other than that and thought I’d see what you thought so that’s why I came here, but I can leave if you want.” His voice continued to increase in nervousness and speed until she almost couldn’t understand what he was saying.
She yawned, then turned and started toward her bed. “Let’s sit down.”
After she sat on her bed, Winry looked up at Al’s dark shape by the door. He was too far away now to make out his facial features in the darkness, but she could imagine the indecision playing out on his face. Finally he started toward the bed, but before he got there, he yelped as something clattered on the floor.
“Um, you might want to step carefully...” she murmured, feeling a little embarrassed.
“Thanks for the warning...” Al muttered, then sat down beside her.
An uncomfortable silence hung between them for a moment, then they both spoke up at once, stopped at the same time, then laughed softly.
“You go first,” Al said.
Winry shook her head. “No, you.”
“Winry...” Al said in a soft and playful, warning voice.
“Alphonse...” she returned with a smile.
He shook his head, then looked down. She followed his gaze and saw that he was holding the two earrings she had given him earlier. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot,” he said, indicating the earrings. “I... I don’t feel right changing the composition of these. I mean, their look is part of what makes them part of you. I see them and I think of you, but I don’t know if it would be as much so if I changed them into something else...”
She frowned, feeling slightly hurt. “So... you’re saying that you’re not going to use them?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Al returned. “I... well... I’d like to keep them in their original shape...” His voice trailed off and she waited. He was obviously wanting to say something, but was reluctant to as well.
“And...” she urged.
“You know, brother and I traveled a lot when we were looking for a way to make things right... We saw many places and met many different kinds of people. There were different styles in the different regions...” Again he trailed off, and glanced up at her.
Something clicked in her mind and her right eye twitched slightly. “You want to wear them as they are?” she asked flatly. She had also traveled a little with Ed and Al, and had seen a few places where men would wear earrings, but she’d never liked the look. Perhaps it was because that was something men just didn’t do in Rizembool.
“Well... yeah... That’s what I was thinking,” Al said and he squirmed a little under her gaze.
“Granny won’t like it,” she stated.
“She’ll get over it,” Al said. Winry thought about that and had to concede mentally that he was right. Her grandmother had been more of a rebel when she was younger anyway, and was pretty level headed about things.
“People will talk...” she said, trying something else. “You know how people are here in Rizembool... They’ll think you’re some sort of... I don’t know... hooligan...”
He chuckled. “It would fit my outlaw image.”
She scowled. “Not funny.”
“Sorry,” he said, not sounding very sorry at all. “Winry, you know I don’t care what people think about me, and I know you tend to keep to yourself and don’t get involved with the gossip and politics around here, so... what’s the real reason?”
Winry was silent for a moment, then said, “I just... well... I don’t like earrings on men...” When his face contorted into the wounded look of a kicked puppy, she pointed at him and said, “Don’t.”
“What?” he asked, looking sad and mournful.
“You’re giving me that look.”
“What look?” His face seemed to look even sadder.
“That look,” she said and poked his face. “You know I hate it when you give me that look.”
“Because you feel guilty,” he stated.
“Yes! You make me feel guilty.”
Al raised an eyebrow. “I can’t make you feel guilty. Admit it, you already feel guilty. This isn’t about me making you feel anything.”
She opened her mouth, then scowled lightly. “You, Alphonse Elric, have some nerve.”
“You feel guilty,” Al pressed with a smile.
Winry made a sound of exasperation, and snatched the earrings from his hand. Yes, she felt guilty because he obviously wanted to do it, but he wouldn’t if she protested enough. She held the small loop earrings up to his earlobes and inspected him. He didn’t look too bad... The color of the earrings sort of matched his hair, though not quite. They would have matched Ed’s better, but the contrast didn’t look too bad-but they were still earrings... on a man...
“Fine...” she grumbled and handed the earrings back. “Granny did mine, and it would probably be better if she did yours too.”
He nodded, and she expected him to get up and leave, but he didn’t. Instead, he stared at her for a time, then said softly, “I don’t want to leave you... I don’t want to leave Rizembool.” He looked up at her. “And I don’t want to leave you tonight...”
“Al...” she said, looking down. “I... We’re not...”
“But we will be tomorrow,” he said. “Let me stay with you tonight, please...”
She felt her face heat and was glad that the room was dark. Did he mean that he simply wanted to stay with her for the night, or did he mean...
“Winry...” he whispered. “Is it wrong that I don’t want to wait until I come home?” She looked at him, but he was looking down at his lap. “I know we were taught to wait until we were married, but...” He sounded awkward and uncertain.
“I...” she murmured, not sure what to say. She felt excited, hesitant, embarrassed, and eager all at the same time. She wanted what Al wanted, but was it wrong that they didn’t wait? She looked down, and said softly, “I want you to stay too...”
0-0-0-0
Al swallowed and felt his heart jump inside of him. He was elated that she wanted him to stay, but nervous at the same time. He wanted her so much, but he’d also never been with anyone before and was afraid he would do something wrong...
He leaned forward and set the earrings on the nightstand before moving his hand over and touching her cheek gently. She was so beautiful... He dropped his hand, afraid that she would notice that he was shaking, and leaned in to kiss her softly.
Winry smiled at that and glanced shyly at him. He reached up again and touched her long, golden hair. With the way it shined in the soft moonlight, she really did look like an angel. He leaned in again; this time to kiss her lips. He’d only kissed her on the lips a handful of times, and each time was no less wonderful, but this time the kiss seemed to hold so much more.
Slowly, he moved his tongue out against her lips and they parted easily to let him inside. This type of kissing was something they had never done before. It was to be saved for marriage, that’s what they’d always been taught.
His groin ached with need as his tongue explored her mouth, and he gently pushed her onto her back. She was always much more domineering than him, always much more assertive; but in this, she easily gave that up and let him guide how it would go.
Al ended the kiss and pulled back a little. She had moved her feet up onto the bed during the kiss and was now laying across the bed with him leaning over her. She looked so good...
He licked his lips nervously and rested his hand timidly on her stomach, then slid it up to touch one of her breasts. It felt full and firm under his palm. He had to open his mouth to get enough air, and he moved his hand back down to her stomach and to the hem of her nightshirt, then slipped his hand underneath. He touched her breasts again, then glanced at her nervously to see if he was doing alright. Winry’s breathing was short and shallow, but by the wanting look on her face, he guessed that she was enjoying his touch.
Suddenly he felt a little panicked. What did he do now? Was there a specific way that one went about having sex? Did he just get between her legs and do it like the farm animals did? His face heated at the thought. It just seemed like there should be more between human beings. He slid the night shirt up over her breasts so that he could look at them, and noticed that she turned her head away in embarrassment.
“I can put it back on...” he said shakily, wondering if he’d done something wrong.
“No... it’s fine...” she whispered. “I just...” She never finished, but Al thought he understood. This was all new to him too. He swallowed and glanced back at her breasts. He thought he could stare at them forever and moved to gently pinch her nipples with fingers. She gave a little moan, and he wondered again if he’d done something wrong, but dismissed the thought immediately given that she hadn’t told him to stop.
After spending a few more minutes groping her chest, Al thought maybe he should just get down to the sex part. If there was something else he was supposed to be doing, Al didn’t know and he sure didn’t want to ask. He could... but... he wanted her to think that he knew what he was doing; even if he didn’t.
He reached down and nervously touched her crotch through her panties, then studiously avoided glancing up at her face while he slid the panties down her legs. Embarrassment and excitement flowed through him and he couldn’t stop thinking to himself that he was actually going to do this with her. He was actually touching her and he was really going to...
Al knelt between her legs and peered closely at her crotch through the darkness. He sort of wished he could turn on the light and inspect her, but he had a feeling that now was definitely not the time to get studious. He’d studied the female anatomy in the medical texts Pinako owned, so he knew what was there, but he’d never actually...
“Al...?” Winry said nervously, and he cleared his throat as he realized he’d been sitting and staring at her instead of doing anything.
“Sorry,” he mumbled. He glanced up at her face and saw that she was looking a little worried and unsure. Feeling a little panicked now, he put his hand on the waistband of his pajama pants, then paused. He felt a little nervous at taking his pants off around her, even if she wasn’t looking direction at him. He shook his head at himself. He was being dumb. He’d undressed her and she was probably just as embarrassed as he was...
Sliding his pajama pants down to his knees, Al moved in close to her. He knew the mechanics of how this was all supposed to work, the rest were just details... Or at least, that was what he told himself.
He looked down at his erection, then took a hold of it and guided it toward her. He had to feel around a little to find the right spot because it was so dark, then he pressed the head against her and pushed it in a little. He frowned when it didn’t go in as smoothly as he thought it would, then felt worry grip him when she cried out a little and held tightly onto the sheets.
“Are you okay...?” he asked, torn between the almost desperate need to continue, and not wanting to hurt her. It wasn’t supposed to hurt... right? He reached down and touched her, feeling a little perplexed. All the texts he’d read said that women produced a natural lubricant down there...
“I...” Winry whimpered a little. “Yeah... I guess so, just... go slower...”
Al bit back a groan. Go slower? He was barely holding himself back as it was. What he really wanted to do was grab her hips and thrust hard into her. He bit gently on his lower lip as he pushed in a little more. He looked up and saw that she was gritting her teeth and squeezing her eyes shut.
“Winry...” Al said in worry. “I can stop...” He said it, but he wasn’t so sure that he could. His hands were shaking and his body was begging him for release. Please say no, please say no... he thought.
“Just... Just push it in...” she breathed.
“Are you sure?” he asked, feeling guilty that he was glad she was telling him to do that.
“Yes, I’m sure,” she panted. “Maybe it will be better after you have it all the way in.”
He swallowed nervously, torn between what he wanted and his fear of hurting her. But she’d said it was alright, his mind and body seemed to shout at him.
“Al...” she whimpered and reached out for him. He slid his arms under her, and pressed his lips firmly against hers as he pushed into her. Her yell was muffled by his mouth, but he almost didn’t take notice of it as he climaxed hard in that moment. He was somewhat aware of her clawing at his back, the stinging it caused, and warm liquid beginning to trickle down his back, but none of that was as important as the amazing amount of pleasure he was feeling.
But it didn’t last long and reality began to slowly creep into his mind. The pain in his back flared hot and sharp, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as the guilty feeling clutching at his heart as Winry sobbed into his chest.
“I’m sorry...” he whimpered and hugged her tightly. He had no idea what he could have done wrong. None of the texts he’d read had said that it would hurt... She wasn’t supposed to hurt...
“It’s not your fault,” she murmured tearfully. “Just... just finish, please...”
He cleared his throat and said, “Actually, I am done...” then pulled out.
She moaned and curled up into a ball, then said with a sniffle, “I thought it was supposed to last longer...”
Al pulled up his pajamas, and moved to the nightstand to light the candle. He’d supposed it was supposed to last longer too... He lasted longer with his hand than he had doing this... After he lit the candle, Al looked back at her, then gasped sharply. There was a fair amount of blood on the sheets, and he was sure it wasn’t from the scratches on his back.
“You’re bleeding!” he choked, then frantically looked around as if medical supplies were going to just pop up out of nowhere.
“Oh yeah... I remember granny saying...” Winry began, sounding a little embarrassed, then trailed off. She grabbed the sheet, wrapped it around herself, and dashed quickly out of the room.
Al stared at the open door in shock. What did she mean by ‘oh yeah’? Then it dawned on him, and he sat heavily on the floor. Unfortunately, there was a screwdriver in the spot he landed and he yelped before moving to a clear space of floor. She hadn’t been with anyone else before... He’d read something about that in the textbooks, but he’d totally forgotten about it... He felt a little bit better knowing that, at least, was normal. His heart was beginning to beat slower now that he knew she wasn’t going to bleed to death from some mistake he’d made.
It was almost fifteen minutes later that Winry came back into the room and closed the door behind her. She was wearing loose pajama pants now and a different night shirt. She glanced at him, then looked away as color blossomed in her cheeks.
“I’m sorry...”
“For what?” Al asked. “I’m the one who should be sorry for hurting you...”
Her cheeks darkened even more and she sat down beside him. “I guess I just wasn’t ready enough...” she murmured, not looking at him.
“I shouldn’t have talked you into it...” Al said apologetically.
“I wanted it,” Winry interjected.
“But you just said...” Al began, then trailed off, feeling confused.
“I meant... I guess I needed... um... more... eh...” she floundered, then looked away in embarrassment. “Never mind...” she mumbled.
He wanted to push her to tell him, but he felt like he’d done enough damage for one night. He felt like a total failure. Not only had he done it wrong, but he’d hurt her, and he didn’t even last past getting in...
Al looked up when he felt her kiss his cheek. She was smiling softly. “Let’s forget about it and go to sleep, okay?”
“That the nice way of saying you want me to get out of your room?” Al muttered sullenly.
“No, it’s me saying that I’m tired, and I just want you to hold me...” Her voice faltered and she blinked rapidly before looking away.
He kissed her and stood up, then, turning toward the bed, he grimaced. The sheets should probably be changed first... He glanced down at her, then hurriedly pulled the blanket up to hide what they’d just done before scooping her up in his arms, blowing out the candle, and carrying her toward the door.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and chuckled. “What are you doing?”
“Shhh,” Al murmured, as he carried her out of her room, down the hall, and into his bedroom. He closed the door with his foot, moved over to his bed, and gently laid her on the mattress before moving to lay beside her. He kissed her lips softly, pulled the blanket up over both of them, then gathered her in his arms.
“I love you, Winry,” he whispered softly, and kissed her again. “Next time will be better, I promise...”
She hugged him tightly and whispered back, “I love you too, Al; and don’t worry, we have the rest of our lives to improve on that...”
--
1 - Since Rizembool is sort of a smaller community, I’m going to appoint the mayor to be the one who takes care of all weddings that aren’t performed by a religious cleric.