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Feb 27, 2012 21:32

My parents called today. I've been avoiding long conversations with them because even if I do my best to sound normal they always realize something isn't right. They seemed suspicious. Asked me is An and I had broken up, or had a fight. I assured them that it wasn't the case. I'm not sure they believed me. I don't think they did..... I'm sure they didn't actually.

An and I haven't been sleeping together and that makes me feel weird and moody. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in her head. Maybe she thinks she is too young and this is really bad for her life and her body. There is not much I can say. What if I say the wrong thing at the wrong time? I don't want to upset her.... hormones, they are evil. I watched Knocked Up. I'm waiting for when she goes really crazy on me. I still love her though. I'm not sure what it is... she is just cute, funny and ... dirty, when she wants to be.... which is not now... i need to stop thinking about sex.....

We both need to tell our parents. I have no idea how. Is it over the phone a bad way of letting them know? I thought maybe a text so I wouldn't hear my mother having a heart attack. To be honest, they can't say much. From what I heard from my granddad, my brother was an accidental baby, hence him being 10 years older than me. Maybe I should call my granddad and get this information before telling them so I have something to throw at them if they decide to kill me.

Then there's An's brother. He'll kill me... I don't think he thinks much of me at all so I'm not sure he wants his sister's babies with my face. I say babies... baby.... if they end up being twins?! No, that won't happen.

I still haven't told her, but I think I'll just give up on university. I don't need a degree to be a film director, I can't just continue to work on short films and that's it. I can take care of the kid while she is studying towards.... whatever she wants to work towards....

........................... I'm 18.... this is going to be hard.
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