3 Movie Reviews: Don't Bother
It's darn frustrating when you get so busy you can't make as many movies as you wish, and then some of them are wastes of time. Oh, they have good acting, or mood or whatever. But in almost every case, the screenplay is flawed and the movie doesn't deliver any impact. Sometimes scripts might be fine, but dufus execs at the movie production company weigh in and change stuff. So here's my wrap-up of three recent movies. In these three cases, don't waste your time and money.
I do love me some twee British fantasies, and the Winnie the Poo books were a big part of my growing up. I also admire Ewen MacGregor. But CHRISTOPHER ROBIN was a weird, flat, uncharming update of the story. Christopher is a grown-up man doing middle management in a family business who has to RIF half his employees. He ignores his family, including his 12-yr-old daughter, though it's clear he loves them. There is NO child in this whole movie, even flashbacks, with children 5, 6 or 7 years old. And that's the magical age for Pooh and Half-Acre Wood friends. So when they show up in London taxis and park benches, it's too weird. The characters are not from the books either; they're CGI versions of the animated Disney movies. WHAT? So the suspension of disbelief never engaged, and I was thrown out of the story again & again. So disappointing.
Here's what I say about the very mis-promoted British movie THE LITTLE STRANGER: If you're going to make me spend 2 hours watching a stiff, bristle-mustached ginger and tease me with a ghost who's devastating a down-on-its-luck aristocratic 1940s family, you better deliver some SPOOKINESS! How dare they have bloody events, devastating fires, and people calling out "YOU!" in their final minutes, and then miff it badly with a weird sort of psychological, aren't we all Jekyll and Hyde really, ending! Now, Domnhall Gleeson with his red clipped back hair and military rigid posture did a great job of acting. Will Poulter (the freckle-faced Maze Runner kid) is a poignant PTSS guy. Ruth Wilson was stolid but sympathetic. But they tricked us. The mood was dark and creepy. Multiple people talked about poltergeists! And then, mehhhh.
I can watch almost anything with Kristen Bell in it, as long as it gives her a character with edge. (Long may VERONICA MARS enthrall.) LIKE FATHER is a movie that came out this summer on Netflix, written and directed by Lauren Miller Rogen, starring Kristen, Kelsey Grammer, and the director's husband, Seth Rogen. It's meant to be a heart-warming R-rated but still-kinda-family comedy. And it's another meandering mess of a script. Nothing builds to a character arc. Kristen cries, and it affects you because she's awesome, but you don't see how she fixed her workaholic ways. She's jilted at the altar and takes her absentee father with her on her honeymoon cruise. Kelsey is a shuffling mess (what has happened to his feet?). The group of dining buddies on the cruise ship are so lazily drawn; secondary characters are supposed to support and develop the theme, but nope. There are just scenes on a boat. They got the rights to film on a ship, and the budget was probably reasonable, so they made the movie. I'm a supporter of female-directed films, but this was not ready for Prime Time.
I do love me some twee British fantasies, and the Winnie the Poo books were a big part of my growing up. I also admire Ewen MacGregor. But CHRISTOPHER ROBIN was a weird, flat, uncharming update of the story. Christopher is a grown-up man doing middle management in a family business who has to RIF half his employees. He ignores his family, including his 12-yr-old daughter, though it's clear he loves them. There is NO child in this whole movie, even flashbacks, with children 5, 6 or 7 years old. And that's the magical age for Pooh and Half-Acre Wood friends. So when they show up in London taxis and park benches, it's too weird. The characters are not from the books either; they're CGI versions of the animated Disney movies. WHAT? So the suspension of disbelief never engaged, and I was thrown out of the story again & again. So disappointing.
Here's what I say about the very mis-promoted British movie THE LITTLE STRANGER: If you're going to make me spend 2 hours watching a stiff, bristle-mustached ginger and tease me with a ghost who's devastating a down-on-its-luck aristocratic 1940s family, you better deliver some SPOOKINESS! How dare they have bloody events, devastating fires, and people calling out "YOU!" in their final minutes, and then miff it badly with a weird sort of psychological, aren't we all Jekyll and Hyde really, ending! Now, Domnhall Gleeson with his red clipped back hair and military rigid posture did a great job of acting. Will Poulter (the freckle-faced Maze Runner kid) is a poignant PTSS guy. Ruth Wilson was stolid but sympathetic. But they tricked us. The mood was dark and creepy. Multiple people talked about poltergeists! And then, mehhhh.
I can watch almost anything with Kristen Bell in it, as long as it gives her a character with edge. (Long may VERONICA MARS enthrall.) LIKE FATHER is a movie that came out this summer on Netflix, written and directed by Lauren Miller Rogen, starring Kristen, Kelsey Grammer, and the director's husband, Seth Rogen. It's meant to be a heart-warming R-rated but still-kinda-family comedy. And it's another meandering mess of a script. Nothing builds to a character arc. Kristen cries, and it affects you because she's awesome, but you don't see how she fixed her workaholic ways. She's jilted at the altar and takes her absentee father with her on her honeymoon cruise. Kelsey is a shuffling mess (what has happened to his feet?). The group of dining buddies on the cruise ship are so lazily drawn; secondary characters are supposed to support and develop the theme, but nope. There are just scenes on a boat. They got the rights to film on a ship, and the budget was probably reasonable, so they made the movie. I'm a supporter of female-directed films, but this was not ready for Prime Time.