FIC: THUNDER ONLY HAPPENS WHEN IT'S RAINING (41/?)
Title: Thunder only happens when it's raining
Author: zagadka4_lj
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: PG 17
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Legend of The Seeker and this was written for enjoyment; certainly mine, hopefully yours.
Summary: Set immediatly after Tears.
When the Keeper was defeated, it seemed that life should start again with happiness and joy, but now Kahlan was feeling only woe and sadness. Along the way toward home, things go awry for the Seeker and his band. They are forced to take paths which will bring them to face what future holds and deal with events from the past. Kahlan will find out that love has many sides and shapes.
Words Count: 7373
A/N: This is my very first writing work and for this reason my style and my skill with english will change as the chapters go by (hopefully improving...)
I consider this fic as my personal version of season 3 and it is entirely based on the TV Show also because I haven't read the books. The title of the fic and of the chapters are all titles or verses taken from songs of my favorite band The Corrs.
I am posting this story also on Fanfiction.net (username zagadka4); my aim is to catch up here and then proceed at the same pace on both sites.
Chapter 41 - A bleeding heart torn apart and left on an icy grave
(Verse from the song “Forgiven not forgotten”)
When they reached the Boundary Stefan remained totally speechless. The high green wall of magic waves was extending up to where his widened clear blue eyes could fly and separating the Westland - the place where he had always lived - from all the other lands. Preventing magic and whatever other thing resided on the other side of that barrier, from sneaking inside this peaceful and quiet green area.
“I can't believe what I'm seeing...” The boy faltered.
“Neither do I...” Cara declared seriously, folding her arms around her chest. “… at last we found something capable of silencing you!” She teased him with a smirk on her face, standing beside her son while Kahlan was some paces away tying the horses to a trunk.
“It's amazing. I’ve never seen anyething like this…” The little one just ignored the bigger blonde's provocations and remained astounded, his eyes glued to the magical monument towering in front of him.
“Yeah. Ah, if only we could take a brick of this wall with us...” Cara sighed increasing the mockery.
“Holy shit Cara, why don’t you ever take me seriously?!”
“Stefan!” A indignant and just arrived Kahlan exclaimed.
“Crap! I didn’t see you were already here…” The boy attempted to apologize for his verbal intemperance, failing to record that he was adding one more to the list of his crimes.
“You have to speak considerately regardless if I’m hearing you or not!” The Confessor insisted, acknowledging that her endeavor of teaching him to express adequately was still far from concluded.
“You know that I’m working my ass off to…- Ops!” Stefan realized too late that his loosened tongue had fallen again into the trap. Cara couldn’t help but giggle at the natural and relentless way with which the boy was trampling on Kahlan’s ridiculous etiquette. And Cara was always immensely amused by whatever havoc played with the brunette’s ordinary groove.
“Cara as usual your support is pathetic!” The outraged Confessor turned her glare from the smaller to the bigger blonde, hardly noticing the difference between the two faces.
Cara rolled her eyes and softly smacked the poor boy on the back of his head. “Pinkie, moderate that foul tongue of yours!” That was the most attempt Cara could do to be supportive.
“Ouch! Hey, betrayed and beaten… This is unfair Cara!!” He looked at her with that adorable pout on his child face.
The Mord-Sith tried to keep her composure controlled, but failed miserably and started guffawing, immediately followed by Kahlan and finally from the vexed kid. The three of them were slowly getting used to this cheerful care freeness and Stefan always felt an irreplaceable joy in living this kind of precious moments.
He had never felt so happy like in the past weeks spent with the two ladies. He was free and living a thrilling adventure with these great warriors. If one month ago someone had told him that he’d be traveling toward a new home, where he'd begin a new normal life, Stefan would just refute the words as a dirty trick. But that was the truth and soon he would settle down in that far capital with Kahlan. Stefan liked her very much. She was sweet and gentle, even if a little annoying with her know-it-all way and the fixation about good manners and always doing the right thing. And then there was Cara... She was just great! She was completely different from Kahlan: rough but however attentive in her way. She was a rebel and uncaring of rules… a true badass! Though Stefan could not say this aloud or Kahlan would rebuke him one more time for his inappropriate language.
Yeah, Badass and Smartass… such a formidable couple they were!
The little boy wished he could one day become as strong, brave and skilled as the red-clad woman; he liked her above all. Once Stefan didn’t like Mord-Sith, but that was before; that was until he met Cara. He wished so much she could also stay in that city… Aydril... Aydrindrin… that darn Ay-dunno city, where the Mother Confessor belonged. But Cara had told him that it was impossible; she said that her boss - Lord Richard Rahl… the Searcher of something… something he had evidently lost... - waited for her in D’Arrow (or something like that) to fight by his side against Darken Rahl, Stefan’s father. Darken was the same bad guy who kidnapped him when he was born and held him prisoner all throughout his life. But Cara had also said that Richard was Stefan’s uncle and maybe, someday, when peace was restored in these countries - and the bad guy was ass kicked directly to the Underworld! - Stefan may travel to D’Arrow and meet her there from time to time. The child was making wishes every night, praying the Spirits for the peace to come back soon on those lands and the bad guy to quickly incur in some incurable malady.
.
When dark fell, Kahlan began to sing a slow song with incomprehensible words, applying to the Night Wisp Mae who she knew was nearby waiting for them to rejoin the group and lead them through the Boundary. Stefan stared enchanted at the proud Mother Confessor; the tall woman was really charming and looked regal: at that moment the boy saw the queen within Kahlan for the first time.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” The kid asked Cara. They were both sitting close to one another on the grass carpet, some paces away from the brunette. He turned his face to the Mord-Sith and found her agape and totally captivated by the sight of the Mother Confessor.
“Yes, she is...” Cara absently whispered, with dreamy eyes glued to the woman who held her heart firmly in her hands.
The thought of mocking the supposed detached Mord-Sith regarding this unusual stance, crossed Stefan’s mind, but he immediately discarded it. He was a little boy, sure, but not at all stupid. Seeing into Cara and beyond her silly pretenses was his specialty, therefore he had soon guessed what it was that made her so sad at the dimming of the day, when the blonde woman thought that he wasn’t looking at her. And he didn’t like to see Cara sad…
Mae appeared after some minutes, during which Kahlan hoped that the little magic being would keep her word to show herself quickly when called. The Night Wisp landed on the Mother Confessor’s palm and they softly spoke for a while, then Kahlan motioned the other hand to Stefan, beckoning him and confirming him that he could introduce himself to the glowing magic creature. The boy enthusiastically sprinted toward them, followed by Cara’s quiet steps right behind.
Kahlan took a moment to enjoy the sight of those two lovely blondes… The child running in full excitement and his mother cutting him some slack, but with her vigilant eyes permanently laid on him, in a mixture of alert and amusement both in reaction to his uncontrollable vitality. She was seriously taking the role of guardian angel with her boy, and to Kahlan she looked utterly awesome while playing this function.
Mae flew on the backhand of the child and whined to him, lightening his face and drawing curiosity other than genuine astonishment in his features; clear blues eyes shining by the emotion and his mouth gaping with a wide amused smile.
“I don’t understand... I don’t speak your language.” Stefan gently replied to the Wisp slightly shaking his blonde hair.
“Try to concentrate on her sounds.” Cara knelt near him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “If you close your eyes it could be easier. Don’t think of anything else, only her words.”
“You understand what she’s saying?” Stefan asked her admired and she nodded. Wanting to make her proud of him, the child did as Cara advised him and the Night creature chanted again in her mysterious universal language. Stefan opened his eyes and frowned; again he hadn’t understood a single word.
“Be patient little man. Let your ears and mind accustom with her meowing.” Cara gently insisted. “Just let those funny sounds flow inside of you, as if those were the drumming of the rain or the blowing of the wind.”
“I never pay much attention to those sounds.” He replied raising an eyebrow.
“But you effortlessly recognize them for what they are when you hear them. It’s the same with this whiny creature. Come on, try again.”
He puffed and rolled his eyes, but looking at the Mord-Sith he read the expectation she had for him. So he lowered his eyelids and concentrated, as the Wisp murmured again in that odd way, determined not to fail Cara. After a while the boy smiled with his eyes still hooded. The Night Wisps language was understandable only from good hearted persons and the childhood innocence was a natural condition to easily obtain the result of comprehending the tiny glowing beings. That’s why Stefan reached in few minutes what Cara had needed several hours to achieve long time before.
“My name is Stefan. Nice to meet you Mae.” He unveiled his shining orbs and stared at the magic creature on his hand, all thrilled by his achievement. “Have you seen Cara, I did it!” He turned to the bigger blonde with a beaming expression, excitedly searching for her approval.
“Good job Pinkie. I knew you could do that.” She widely smiled back at him, standing and ruffling his hair with her hand.
She'd never admitted it aloud but - though she knew it was totally irrational from her - she felt utterly proud of him.
The threesome was walking deeper and deeper into a maze of caverns winding into the bowels of a mountain, following the faint glow of Mae, quietly flying in front of them.
The Night Wisp had reported to Kahlan and Cara that she had sensed the evil presence of tens of Mord-Sith outside the Boundary, guarding the wall, patrolling back and forth and very likely waiting for someone. Waiting for Stefan to cross the barrier so that they could catch him again and bring him back to Rahl, both women grimly figured out.
During her days alone by the Boundary, the little magic creature had looked for a safe passage where they could exit from the Westland without being detected from the Sisters of the Agiel. She had found the caves where she was leading the small group now. Also the burrow was crossed by the Boundary and the way out of the caverns was quite far from the magic wall on the Midlands side. Mae had traveled along these rocky corridors and memorized the way out of this warren. Once outside of it, they should be distant enough to go unnoticed and escape from the red-clad women’s insidious ambush.
Unfortunately they were forced to leave the horses back, since the caves weren’t sufficiently large for the beasts to pass through them, and this was slowing them down. There was an utter darkness inside those narrow passages and the air was gelid, thick, filled with humidity which insinuated under their clothes, dampening their skin and chilling them up to the bones. The only light came from the fire of two torches Cara and Kahlan were carrying, and the life beating into the most delicate creature of the world, within whose little wings the two women committed their and Stefan’s lives. Getting lost inside that maze would certainly mean death by thirst, hunger and cold.
The small group was walking with Mae leading, Cara following to face eventual danger coming from ahead, Stefan in the middle and finally Kahlan protecting from potential menaces approaching from behind. The boy suddenly sprinted near Cara and grabbed her free hand. She turned to him with interrogative and slightly annoyed expression. He shrugged and answered to the unspoken question.
“I’m afraid of darkness.”
“What?!” Cara exclaimed surprised. “I’ve seen you facing two fully armed D’Haran soldiers and you want to me to buy that the dark scares you?!”
“You told me that a good warrior must acknowledge and accept his strengths and his weaknesses.” He replied not in the slightest ashamed. “So yes, darkness scares me. Especially when I’m walking in a creepy icy cavern.”
“And what has this to do with my hand?” The Mord-Sith retorted, as she swayed her captured limb and teased him, hoping to be released but already aware that he wouldn’t have pity on her.
“When I’m close to you, I fear nothing!” He answered fully happy and increasing the grip of his tiny hand in hers, letting her clearly understand that for any reason he'd let go the source of his courage.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes, giving up whatever attempt to set her hand free from the little pest. The small boy returned his look ahead completely content and Kahlan behind them put a hand upon her mouth to muffle a chuckle: seeing the proud Mistress Cara Mason defeated from a small child and forced to walk hand in hand with him wasn’t a common show. At least it wasn’t until some weeks ago when said Mistress was introduced to a very special child. Those two blondes were so absolutely cute… If Kahlan wasn’t already completely in love with Cara, she would have probably fallen now, witnessing the priceless sight she was offered.
After an hour of walking hand in hand Cara felt her fingers sweaty and numb; despite this, she liked to have Stefan close - because this way she could guard him better, obviously! - but she really needed a respite from the prolonged contact she wasn’t definitely used with. At least the boy had had the mercy to keep his mouth shut all the time; probably he actually felt uneasy in this troublesome obscure situation.
“What about leaving me now Pinkie?” She asked tentatively. “You’re not scared any longer, are you?”
He didn’t even seem to notice her voice and slightly squeezed the holding hand, mutely declaring that he still wanted her in touch with him. Cara knew very well that kind of mute speech and its eloquence told her that the battle to have her extremity back still wasn’t over. But Cara was the one from whom Stefan had inherited his smartness, so she devised and tried another strategy.
“Look at there behind.” The Mord-Sith whispered putting false innocence in her voice. “It seems to me that Kahlan is feeling all alone. You should keep her company too.” Stefan turned his head and saw the Confessor quietly walking some paces behind them. Actually she looked neglected, walking on her own in that pool of darkness. The generous boy left a relieved Cara and scooted to the brunette catching her free hand.
“Hi Kahlan.” He greeted her smiling.
“Hello you.” She replied smiling as much.
“Cara told me that she is sad if you feel alone, so she asked me to come here and cheer you up.” He declared with child candor.
“Did she really say this?!” The perplexed Confessor asked, skeptically raising an eyebrow.
“Uhm…” The boy mused for a moment tipping his forefinger on his lower lip and staring at the tip of his nose. “Maybe she hasn’t used these words… But this is what she meant!”
“I’m doubtful.” Kahlan replied, sighing. “Cara is not so much attached to me.”
“What the fuck are you saying?!” He exclaimed half dumb-folded, half scandalized.
“Stefan!” Kahlan admonished him, hearing his bad language peering out again, in spite of all her rambled lectures and all the duly administered Cara’s slaps.
“Sorry… habit!” He apologized with a tender smile, fluttering his eyes and begging mercy with his irresistible look. “What I mean is… Heck, she’s more than attached to you! Haven’t you seen the way she looks at you?!” Kahlan blinked confused.
“Oh you’re right!” He added clicking his tongue. “She’s terribly careful and glances at you only when she’s sure you’re not seeing her. But her eyes are always laid on you.” Stefan pondered for a moment then added with a slight melancholy. “And often she sighs.”
Kahlan turned to the boy widening her blue eyes; she had seen this behavior in the red-clad woman and very often, only it wasn’t directed to her, but to Stefan. “You’re fooling me.”
“That’s the truth, I swear it.” He insisted and the Confessor listened to her magic power, telling her that he wasn’t lying. But her face still betrayed skepticism and the boy felt compelled to add more.
“Okay, if I told you that I glimpsed Cara more than once waking up first in the morning and adjusting your blankets to ensure you were warm? And haven’t you ever wondered how comes that she accidentally manages to find the things you like the most so often when she goes hunting?” Kahlan just gaped and kept on staring at the child, who proceeded with his thorough demonstration.
“Sometimes I catch her secretly checking your equipment and providing to replenish it. I asked her why she never said a word to you about it, but she replied that then she’d be forced to hear your pointless annoying thanking words and that her doing wasn't out of kindness, but only pity toward your hopeless distraction… apparently Cara still thinks that I’m a dumb squirt!” He stated with a tsk-tsk noise, before going on.
“And the other day we couldn’t find a stream and we all were thirsty, remember? She feigned to drink and handed to you the waterskin with the last water… well, after allowing me a sip… Anyway, the point is that she doubtlessly cares for you. Deeply.”
During his tirade, the child sometimes threw glances to Cara walking ahead and talked softly. He wasn’t at all a dumb squirt and easily guessed that she wouldn’t like to hear him talking about her that way. And above all she wouldn’t like Kahlan being informed about those delicate attentions which the blonde woman pretended meant nothing, but perfectly knew that meant a lot. That stubborn mule head didn’t want anyone to know about her selflessness. Much less about her soft spots.
“Are you telling me that you’ve never noticed anything?” The little one candidly stared at Kahlan, who was still gaping and incapable of putting two words together. “Well it seems that Cara isn’t totally wrong about your distraction, huh? Oh c’mon Kahlan open your eyes! Really, it seems that she has a crush on you!”
The brunette was still speechless and blinking; thanks to her Confessor nature she could tell that Stefan was sincere. Thus she had actually never noticed Cara’s signs… once again…?! Maybe the kid was right? Maybe the Mord-Sith had an honest affection for her? Hence there was a possibility that they could someday be something… more than friends? Kahlan didn’t dare to hope it. The brunette turned her gaze to the stunning woman walking in front of her, with her determined and sensual way. Probably it was just that Mord-Sith’s determination to make the swaying of her hips so desirable and inflaming the thirst of the Mother Confessor, which now was tinged with a slight shade of hope.
Kahlan thought back to the trip she had traveled with Cara in the past months and the things they passed through to get here: at the beginning the Mord-Sith was totally stiff and grumpy, but it was undeniable that little by little things had changed between them.
Two nights Cara had surrendered to sleep hugged to Kahlan. The thought of that funny but honest apology from Cara - after their debatable kiss in that inn - still made the Confessor smile. And the kiss itself... nothing had been the same anymore after that. Cara's mesmerized look when Kahlan was talking to the Night Wisps at Foot Hills hadn't gone unnoticed. Neither the fact that the blonde had let Kahlan comfort her after the terrible outburst recalling the memories of her lost baby. The morning after Cara had even admitted that she was happy of having partaken such confidences with the Confessor. And then when Kahlan was in the hands of that pig General Spancill, Cara had showed a more than meaningful protectiveness.
How could Kahlan have ignored these and the many other moments in which she had felt that something deeper was transpiring between them… the times they had almost kissed… And not only because of their strong physical attraction... Kahlan couldn’t have only imagined all those things.
Cara… had feelings for her…
Kahlan wondered why she was so oblivious when it came to seeing through Cara; sure she was Mord-Sith and thus unreadable, but there were objective acts showing that the blonde was not completely indifferent to her. Maybe Kahlan simply didn’t dare to hope, fearing to deceive herself and attempting to keep her heart safe. But doing so, she was also about to keep her heart empty, losing the most important person in her life. To her luck a little boy - who seemed to know Cara since a lifetime instead of a fistful of weeks - came along to open her eyes. The Confessor suddenly felt an overwhelming gush of joy.
She threw the torch away and grabbed Stefan, lifting him up and hugging him tight and starting to mercilessly kiss the child so hard that she caused him troubles with breathing.
“You are fantastic Stefan Rahl!” She exclaimed all excited.
“You are not half-bad as well Kahlan, but now please slow down… you’re smothering me!”
“What’s happening?” Cara had suddenly turned around and was staring at the two figures behind her; the Agiel already in her hand. But as she realized that her companions were just wasting time at senselessly cuddling, she lowered her weapon.
“Kahlan what the hell are you doing?”
“It’s just that… Stefan is a very special boy.” She replied, incapable of restraining a wide smile coursing from one ear to the other. But in that darkness Cara didn’t eye it; Kahlan glimpsed instead Cara’s annoyance displayed by a raised eyebrow and a canted hip, even if the blonde was palely lighted up by the torch in her hand.
“How not! And I’m a good cook and you are a good hunter! Now stop with that pointless fussing and get a move on. I don’t want to die hibernated here for having lingered in this icy grave longer than necessary!”
Kahlan put Stefan down and picked up the torch, not at all bothered by the sulky Mord-Sith. The wide smile was firmly stuck on her face.
Cara was instead bothered. It wasn't only the constant blabbing those two were relentlessly flaunting, and it wasn't only that conspiratorial low tone they were using, which alone was enough to tell Cara that they were talking about her. And certainly not in the terms of due dread a good Mord-Sith deserved. She was unconcerned about people talking behind her back, unless that implied her being painted in a fluffy frame.
Aside from this, there was the deed that they were walking inside this pitch black since what seemed an eternity and she didn’t know how many candle marks had exactly passed; not being totally in control of the situation was making her nervous and uncomfortable. Relying on someone else's skill was another thing that made her uncomfortable and especially if said someone was a microscopic ephemeral creature. Cara had already asked the Wisp several times whether she was sure that they were on the right way or if they accidentally got lost. Mae reassured her - in her chanting language - that she knew where they were and that it would take some more time to make it over.
It was impossible to acknowledge in that odd meowing, whether the tiny creature was self assured or if the doubt was cracking her speech, hence Cara was forced to trust her on her word - something the wary Mord-Sith was always cheap at doing. It was also impossible to discern if Mae was annoyed by the blonde’s implication of her having lost sense of direction. Cara didn’t even know if Night Wisps were meant to be annoyed… but so it seemed to her.
The hours were passing by and the temperature turned more and more chilling in the dark narrow cavern; probably it was late night and the situation wasn’t comfortable for any of them. The air was freezing and small clouds of condensation escaped from the threesome's mouths. The fur cloaks wrapping them were helpful, but anyway insufficient to adequately shelter from the thick humidity gathering in icy drops on their faces.
Kahlan's torch flickered with a faint orange glow and finally ran out, suddenly halving the already scant view. Cara turned her head around muttering a half voiced curse. The remaining source of light in her hand was glimmering with uncertainty and wouldn't take long before fading as well.
“You two, come here.” She ordered.
Cara hoped that her respite from being physically close to someone would last a little longer, but if her companions walked far from the light of her torch they would unavoidably topple on the uneven ground again and again. Kahlan and the boy joined Cara's side; the Confessor entangled her arm with her, entwining their fingers and actualizing Cara's fears.
“There's no need for it!” She protested, faintly trying to wriggle from the grasp.
“It's cold!” The brunette objected with a hint of annoyance. Stefan was allowed to hold her hand for hours and she couldn't have a moment of contact? No way! Kahlan wasn't willing to return the confiscated extremity so easily, on the strength of what the kid had just helped her to realize.
“You're hopeless.” The grumpy Mord-Sith complained with a puff of air and a shake of her head. Stefan - who was holding the other Confessor's hand - had to bite his cheek to smother the chortle which would put Cara's limits dangerously at the test.
Despite her protests, Cara was soon pliant in the touch and forced to admit that those fingers gently squeezing hers were driving a relieving warmth inside of her. And it felt so good because she was freezing in this darn tunnel... it always felt incredibly good to touch Kahlan... and it felt so delicious that it was the brunette to look for her touch in the first place and wanted to linger within it...
Creator, stop thinking this way! Cara inwardly chastised herself and focused on the walk. One step and then the other and then the other...
Before the third step, her mind was already drifting to those pale fingertips now delicately tapping against the back of her hand. Cara remembered how they had easily run over the bare skin of her back short time before, and effortlessly traced routes of goose bumps all over her... Spirits, she had wanted those long fingers everywhere on her... and still she did...
I told you to stop it!! Cara shook her head and sharpened her look trying to see clear ahead, but it was almost black in this corridor excluding for the feeble glowing coming from the torch and Mae.
Deprived of her sight, it was mostly Cara's imagination working and making her see things that weren't there. Yet Cara could swear that the Confessor was relentlessly smiling. And the Mord-Sith was damned if she knew what the hell there was to smile for at that moment! In a small corner of her mind, Cara formulated an idea, but it sounded completely absurd and definitely impossible... yet...
The moment Kahlan had unquestionably tried to kiss her when they sat by the fire some nights before flashed in her mind.
Don't even think that she... Stop it! It's pointless. And dangerous.
Cara realized that the brunette was now holding her tighter than before and certainly tighter than necessary. Her red-leather wrapped arm was relentlessly brushing against Kahlan’s side and breast. The Mord-Sith could hear the soft breathing of the Confessor near her and when Kahlan turned her face to her - and for some incomprehensible reason, this happened often - she could even sense the pleasant hot breath coming from those perfect lips, slightly ruffling her strands. Despite all the reprimands she may muster inside her head, all these touches were affecting her beyond control.
To her luck Mae came in help, stopping her flight and floating at mid-air; when the rest of the group reached her she whined something and Kahlan nodded.
“What did she say?” Stefan asked with voice heavy with tiredness. Kahlan provided the answer.
“Mae needs some time alone to gather her spirit and take strength from the natu-”
“Wisps' stuff to accomplish!” Cara curtly summarized, before rudely addressing to the little magic creature. “If the alternative is that you switch off from exhaustion and leave us here lost in this icy grave, then go. We'll put it to use and take a break.”
Mae cheeped something with a voice shriller than usual and not completely intelligible, but the hysterical fluttering of her wings made up for the exact meaning. Then she parted from the group.
“And don't be too long Night Midge!” Cara barked to the tiny back, earning another shrilly squeak in return and a soft giggle from Kahlan.
The threesome wended to a nearby spot where the tunnel was larger and approached to the wall. Cara planted the torch on the ground and shifted her pack from her back. She unrolled her bedroll and beckoned Stefan to sit there. For once the boy silently did as suggested and as his body touched the ground, he immediately fell deeply asleep. The Mord-Sith carefully wrapped him in the fur cloak she had removed from her shoulders.
Kahlan placed her bedroll nearby and was sitting with her back to the wall, her legs stretched ahead. She looked at Cara who was nervously pacing back and forth.
“Sit here Cara.” She gently invited, patting the fabric in the spot beside her.
“I'm not tired.”
“Uhm, I was betting. But we need to share the cloak. You're freezing.”
“I am not-”
“Then why are you brushing your hands around your chest? Or hunching your shoulders?” The rustling of leathers and clatter of teeth Cara was unable to restrain just reinforced Kahlan's theory. Cara sighed defeated. Fucking cold!
She resigned to sit beside Kahlan, who draped the cape on both of them and immediately snuggled against her; a raven haired head resting on Cara's shoulder and a gentle hand leaning on her stomach.
“I'm cold as well.” Kahlan whispered in her hair as an apology for the invasion of Cara's personal space; she was practically on her lap. Another sigh was the meaningful reply.
Kahlan was idly moving her fingers on Cara's leathers and her hot breath was constantly on her neck; nothing good was in the air.
“You should sleep. I'll take the watch.” Cara roughly suggested. Maybe if the Confessor fell unconscious she could try to put a little distance between them. Or at least she'd stop with those teasing fingers.
“Watch?! We can barely see up to our noses.”
“I still have my other senses.”
“You should get some rest as well.” Kahlan breathed out lowly and her hand flied to Cara's cheek, leading the blonde's gaze to meet with hers. In the dimness Cara glimpsed the flickering of Kahlan's eyes and teeth. They were very close now and she averted her look only to have her eyes trapped by the reflection of the drops of humidity glinting from Kahlan's gorgeous cleavage. She swallowed hard.
“Just sleep.” Cara rasped turning her face away. Had Kahlan forgotten her request for distance? She had honored the agreement so far, what happened now to make her change her mind? Cara should have reminded her of their need to stay apart. But the words in her mind got lost along the way to the mouth, thereby remained unspoken.
The Confessor stayed quiet for a while and Cara was hoping she'd fallen asleep, but her hopes weren't fulfilled.
“Cara.” A hot murmur caressed the blonde's neck.
“What?!” She wanted to convey her annoyance, but her soft breathless tone conveyed something else entirely.
“I can't sleep when I'm so close to you...”
“Try harder Confessor.” She also was trying harder to conceal her emotion, but it was a lost cause with Kahlan's hand sneaked upward unauthorized, and now leaning on her breastbone thus perfectly aware of the hammering in Cara's chest. That treacherous hand slowly moved and finger pads reached the slope in the swelling of her breast. A thumb nonchalantly grazing there.
“Cara...” Another torturing whisper. This time freshly moistened lips brushed her neck. Those lips felt hot, terribly hot against her cool skin. A shiver spread on Cara's scalp and ran down her spine. The wetness in her panties was something she was trying to forget about, but the throbbing between her legs constantly reminded her of that.
“What?” A groan filled with need. Kahlan's hand came back to her cheek and again forced Cara to face her. Only this time the brunette’s mouth was much closer than before and lingering with parted lips a hair breadth away from hers.
“... don't call me Confessor.” She exhaled before capturing Cara's lips in hers.
Kahlan's kiss was feverish. Her lips were wet and soft and demanding. And Cara was dying for answering. Feeling that the blonde wasn't rejecting her, Kahlan jerked and in the blink of an eye she was straddling the other woman. A brusque pull on her hair forced Cara's head backward so that Kahlan had better access to her mouth. The Confessor made good use of the improved angle, deepening the kiss and slipping her tongue between Cara's pliant lips. The blonde was mind-blown and gasping under the woman she ardently desired.
In the dark Cara felt Kahlan's hand leaving her locks and trailing down to cup her breast with a rough touch which urged a stifled groan out of her throat. Their mouths parted with a wet smack and Cara swallowed hard before gasping again at the feeling of Kahlan's other hand sliding between them and reaching her heated sex. The pressure was perfect and the rhythm of the strokes increasing. Kahlan was again licking her lips and sucking them. She bit Cara's lower lip and moaned while her ass was tightly grasped by hungry red-gloved hands. The rolling of Kahlan's hips sped up and so did the intensity of the caresses between Cara's legs. Drops of sweat were replacing the humidity on their skin and Cara avidly licked the salty flavor of Kahlan passing her tongue right in the narrow path between swollen breasts; the skim of raven strands on her face and lips was tickling her and making her just want more. The sound of Kahlan's ragged panting was heady and driving her crazy.
Kahlan latched a fist of blonde hair again and forced Cara into another deep passionate kiss, whereas her other hand shifted lower; fingertips pressing against the Mord-Sith's entrance and the heel of her palm brushing against her clit. Cara felt her face burning with desire and her inner walls clenching; she inwardly cursed the clothes between them. She sucked air breathlessly, bucking her hips hard against Kahlan's hand and in a moment she was coming. The orgasm hit her in waves of desperate pleasure while she buried her nails in Kahlan's buttocks. Open mouths loudly gasping into one another and their foreheads leaning in the aftershocks of their rocking motions.
Cara still hadn't completely come down from her release when she heard a voice.
“Cara!”
It was Kahlan's voice... it seemed coming from afar... how could it be? Kahlan was on her lap. And why wasn't she feeling the pressure of the Confessor's weight on her hips any longer?
“Cara wake up!”
The Mord-Sith was still heavily panting and she snapped her eyes open, just to find complete darkness around her.
“The torch has run out while we were asleep.” Kahlan's voice was quiet even if slightly concerned. “You had a bad dream.”
“A... bad dream...?” Cara croaked hardly realizing the situation and still in the grip of her arousal.
“Sorry if I woke you, but you were writhing and making noises... it seemed you were aching...”
“Aching...? Huh... yes... kinda...” She was just too confused to articulate a coherent speech.
“You're burning. You have fever.” Kahlan's gelid palm was now resting on Cara's forehead and she pulled it away brusquely. The motion of her own arm made Cara realize where her hand had been before, namely between her legs where it had procured Cara something she had neglected to achieve lately. The complete darkness had concealed this detail to Kahlan and misled her about the nature of the 'aching' Cara was affected by in her dream.
“I'm okay.” She curtly replied while straightening her back shifting her position and moving away from Kahlan. An awkward silence dropped between them.
Again the unsuspecting Night Wisp came in help, approaching back to the group with a restored twinkling and a better mood. Chasing away the tension, apparently at least.
.
The march restarted, this time the only light to show them the way was Mae's one. This time everyone held their hands to themselves.
Stefan was too exhausted to stay awake, let alone to walk, therefore Cara put him on her back and fastened him with the straps of her backpack, so that she her hands were free. Having him crouched against her was granting a bit of more warmth for the both of them. And the wax and wane of his chest, releasing a shallow breathing was distracting her a bit from what had just happened.
But her thoughts were relentlessly returning to her hot dream. Surely her impossibility to release herself in the past days had a big part in driving her horny beyond control. But it wasn't the only reason.
The truth was that fantasizing was painfully becoming insufficient. Cara's body was telling her that she wanted more. She wanted something concrete. She wanted Kahlan in every possible way.
She wanted to know how it would feel to have Kahlan trembling under her touches, panting within her kisses, with their bare bodies pressed against each other; Kahlan's milky flawless skin brushing against her scarred one. Cara needed to feel everything of the other woman, digging her nails in her delicate flesh and burying her face in every dip of Kahlan’s soft body, to touch, kiss, smell and taste every corner of the brunette. She recalled her dream and the entrancing feeling of their opened mouths searching for each other, mingling their breaths and blending their moans in a loving symphony. Building the crescendo of pleasure that had effortlessly and quickly pushed her over the edge.
Cara felt that the choking need to possess Kahlan was clutching at her chest with so much intensity that her heart could split in two at every moment. She craved to completely take and completely give herself to the other woman… to make love to her… with her... An experience the blonde had never taken part of in her life, neither had she ever wished to.
Until she met Kahlan.
Yes Kahlan Amnell, Mother Confessor, Queen of Aydindril and all the other stuff, but most of all the woman promised to Cara's Lord Rahl.
In this utter darkness, lost inside the heart of a mountain, Cara was losing her reference points and could nearly forget everything… That she was Mord-Sith and Kahlan was the Mother Confessor, the sworn enemy of her kind. This was a detail since long time overrode, but the deed that Cara was supposed to be unemotional was not. She was meant to feel nothing, much less love; much much less love for a Confessor; much much much less love for the Confessor betrothed to her Lord Rahl. And not whatever Rahl, but Richard: the man who saved Cara many times and in many ways. The man for whom Cara would give her life a hundred times, rather than betraying.
In this obscurity time and space lost significance and Cara had difficulties at finding the right orientation. It was hard to discern what was more important. Everything just tended to become blurred and Cara could almost forget about Richard and turn to the two persons here with her, who she knew could teach her what being happy meant. Happiness... Maybe it was the unknown mirage of a home, a place where she could have the courage of settling down and dwelling for the rest of her life? Maybe it was to learn how it felt to be part of a family? She had lost that memory since long time... Were these things more important than duty and loyalty? In her disorientation, the confused Mord-Sith wasn't any longer so sure of the answer.
This forgotten gloom led Cara to almost dare dreaming of being worthy of happiness. Kahlan was here with her... Cara could almost decide to turn around and claim her lips which seemed hanging on... waiting for the blonde to give up her opposition to this incomprehensible thing trapping her chest and drawing her to the Confessor, with an impulse achingly stronger than Cara’s will. The trembling Mord-Sith abruptly stopped her walking, consequentially making the brunette halt as well.
“Kahlan…” She huskily whispered. “…what if we’d never find the way out of here?”
“Why are you asking this?” The Confessor immediately perceived the strange note in Cara’s voice. “Mae is leading us. Don’t worry we’ll doubtlessly get out.”
“And what if I wouldn't want to...?”
“What do you mean Cara?” She asked warily; the tremble in the blonde’s tone was evident now.
Cara took Kahlan's hand and squeezed her fingers, moving forward to let herself go; for real this time. She was tired of fighting. In this mystifying dimness she couldn’t even see the point of her struggling any longer… She just wanted to surrender, delaying the facing of the consequences for another moment. Giving way to the confused feelings looming over her and tearing her apart.
The Mord-Sith was less than an inch away from Kahlan, she could feel the nearness of her mouth, her quick breathing, the warmth radiating from her stiff body and some sort of electricity sparkling all around them in anticipation of what was about to tumble down on them.
I need you Kahlan, more than anything else, I need you...
But the instant before her soft lips made contact with Kahlan's a faint purple glow in the distance slowly emerged and joined the light of the Night Wisp. It was the breaking of the sunrise shyly painting the sky and seeping through the nearby way out of the cave. Reaching the widened pupils of the two exhausted women.
They were over.
The darkness was over and under the sunlight all Cara's reference points returned clear. She knew who she was and what conduct she was called to honor. Along with the dark, also the illusion in which Cara had lingered for some small moments faded; the illusion to forget about the pillars in her way toward Kahlan. The faint sunbeams made them return well in sight and Cara’s purpose to resist the primal call of her painful longings as well.
She backed up from the Confessor and disentangled their fingers, doubtlessly breaking the magic of the moment. She resolutely walked toward the exit of the cave as if nothing was about to happen and leaving a totally confused Kahlan behind.
Author: zagadka4_lj
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: PG 17
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Legend of The Seeker and this was written for enjoyment; certainly mine, hopefully yours.
Summary: Set immediatly after Tears.
When the Keeper was defeated, it seemed that life should start again with happiness and joy, but now Kahlan was feeling only woe and sadness. Along the way toward home, things go awry for the Seeker and his band. They are forced to take paths which will bring them to face what future holds and deal with events from the past. Kahlan will find out that love has many sides and shapes.
Words Count: 7373
A/N: This is my very first writing work and for this reason my style and my skill with english will change as the chapters go by (hopefully improving...)
I consider this fic as my personal version of season 3 and it is entirely based on the TV Show also because I haven't read the books. The title of the fic and of the chapters are all titles or verses taken from songs of my favorite band The Corrs.
I am posting this story also on Fanfiction.net (username zagadka4); my aim is to catch up here and then proceed at the same pace on both sites.
Chapter 41 - A bleeding heart torn apart and left on an icy grave
(Verse from the song “Forgiven not forgotten”)
When they reached the Boundary Stefan remained totally speechless. The high green wall of magic waves was extending up to where his widened clear blue eyes could fly and separating the Westland - the place where he had always lived - from all the other lands. Preventing magic and whatever other thing resided on the other side of that barrier, from sneaking inside this peaceful and quiet green area.
“I can't believe what I'm seeing...” The boy faltered.
“Neither do I...” Cara declared seriously, folding her arms around her chest. “… at last we found something capable of silencing you!” She teased him with a smirk on her face, standing beside her son while Kahlan was some paces away tying the horses to a trunk.
“It's amazing. I’ve never seen anyething like this…” The little one just ignored the bigger blonde's provocations and remained astounded, his eyes glued to the magical monument towering in front of him.
“Yeah. Ah, if only we could take a brick of this wall with us...” Cara sighed increasing the mockery.
“Holy shit Cara, why don’t you ever take me seriously?!”
“Stefan!” A indignant and just arrived Kahlan exclaimed.
“Crap! I didn’t see you were already here…” The boy attempted to apologize for his verbal intemperance, failing to record that he was adding one more to the list of his crimes.
“You have to speak considerately regardless if I’m hearing you or not!” The Confessor insisted, acknowledging that her endeavor of teaching him to express adequately was still far from concluded.
“You know that I’m working my ass off to…- Ops!” Stefan realized too late that his loosened tongue had fallen again into the trap. Cara couldn’t help but giggle at the natural and relentless way with which the boy was trampling on Kahlan’s ridiculous etiquette. And Cara was always immensely amused by whatever havoc played with the brunette’s ordinary groove.
“Cara as usual your support is pathetic!” The outraged Confessor turned her glare from the smaller to the bigger blonde, hardly noticing the difference between the two faces.
Cara rolled her eyes and softly smacked the poor boy on the back of his head. “Pinkie, moderate that foul tongue of yours!” That was the most attempt Cara could do to be supportive.
“Ouch! Hey, betrayed and beaten… This is unfair Cara!!” He looked at her with that adorable pout on his child face.
The Mord-Sith tried to keep her composure controlled, but failed miserably and started guffawing, immediately followed by Kahlan and finally from the vexed kid. The three of them were slowly getting used to this cheerful care freeness and Stefan always felt an irreplaceable joy in living this kind of precious moments.
He had never felt so happy like in the past weeks spent with the two ladies. He was free and living a thrilling adventure with these great warriors. If one month ago someone had told him that he’d be traveling toward a new home, where he'd begin a new normal life, Stefan would just refute the words as a dirty trick. But that was the truth and soon he would settle down in that far capital with Kahlan. Stefan liked her very much. She was sweet and gentle, even if a little annoying with her know-it-all way and the fixation about good manners and always doing the right thing. And then there was Cara... She was just great! She was completely different from Kahlan: rough but however attentive in her way. She was a rebel and uncaring of rules… a true badass! Though Stefan could not say this aloud or Kahlan would rebuke him one more time for his inappropriate language.
Yeah, Badass and Smartass… such a formidable couple they were!
The little boy wished he could one day become as strong, brave and skilled as the red-clad woman; he liked her above all. Once Stefan didn’t like Mord-Sith, but that was before; that was until he met Cara. He wished so much she could also stay in that city… Aydril... Aydrindrin… that darn Ay-dunno city, where the Mother Confessor belonged. But Cara had told him that it was impossible; she said that her boss - Lord Richard Rahl… the Searcher of something… something he had evidently lost... - waited for her in D’Arrow (or something like that) to fight by his side against Darken Rahl, Stefan’s father. Darken was the same bad guy who kidnapped him when he was born and held him prisoner all throughout his life. But Cara had also said that Richard was Stefan’s uncle and maybe, someday, when peace was restored in these countries - and the bad guy was ass kicked directly to the Underworld! - Stefan may travel to D’Arrow and meet her there from time to time. The child was making wishes every night, praying the Spirits for the peace to come back soon on those lands and the bad guy to quickly incur in some incurable malady.
.
When dark fell, Kahlan began to sing a slow song with incomprehensible words, applying to the Night Wisp Mae who she knew was nearby waiting for them to rejoin the group and lead them through the Boundary. Stefan stared enchanted at the proud Mother Confessor; the tall woman was really charming and looked regal: at that moment the boy saw the queen within Kahlan for the first time.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” The kid asked Cara. They were both sitting close to one another on the grass carpet, some paces away from the brunette. He turned his face to the Mord-Sith and found her agape and totally captivated by the sight of the Mother Confessor.
“Yes, she is...” Cara absently whispered, with dreamy eyes glued to the woman who held her heart firmly in her hands.
The thought of mocking the supposed detached Mord-Sith regarding this unusual stance, crossed Stefan’s mind, but he immediately discarded it. He was a little boy, sure, but not at all stupid. Seeing into Cara and beyond her silly pretenses was his specialty, therefore he had soon guessed what it was that made her so sad at the dimming of the day, when the blonde woman thought that he wasn’t looking at her. And he didn’t like to see Cara sad…
Mae appeared after some minutes, during which Kahlan hoped that the little magic being would keep her word to show herself quickly when called. The Night Wisp landed on the Mother Confessor’s palm and they softly spoke for a while, then Kahlan motioned the other hand to Stefan, beckoning him and confirming him that he could introduce himself to the glowing magic creature. The boy enthusiastically sprinted toward them, followed by Cara’s quiet steps right behind.
Kahlan took a moment to enjoy the sight of those two lovely blondes… The child running in full excitement and his mother cutting him some slack, but with her vigilant eyes permanently laid on him, in a mixture of alert and amusement both in reaction to his uncontrollable vitality. She was seriously taking the role of guardian angel with her boy, and to Kahlan she looked utterly awesome while playing this function.
Mae flew on the backhand of the child and whined to him, lightening his face and drawing curiosity other than genuine astonishment in his features; clear blues eyes shining by the emotion and his mouth gaping with a wide amused smile.
“I don’t understand... I don’t speak your language.” Stefan gently replied to the Wisp slightly shaking his blonde hair.
“Try to concentrate on her sounds.” Cara knelt near him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “If you close your eyes it could be easier. Don’t think of anything else, only her words.”
“You understand what she’s saying?” Stefan asked her admired and she nodded. Wanting to make her proud of him, the child did as Cara advised him and the Night creature chanted again in her mysterious universal language. Stefan opened his eyes and frowned; again he hadn’t understood a single word.
“Be patient little man. Let your ears and mind accustom with her meowing.” Cara gently insisted. “Just let those funny sounds flow inside of you, as if those were the drumming of the rain or the blowing of the wind.”
“I never pay much attention to those sounds.” He replied raising an eyebrow.
“But you effortlessly recognize them for what they are when you hear them. It’s the same with this whiny creature. Come on, try again.”
He puffed and rolled his eyes, but looking at the Mord-Sith he read the expectation she had for him. So he lowered his eyelids and concentrated, as the Wisp murmured again in that odd way, determined not to fail Cara. After a while the boy smiled with his eyes still hooded. The Night Wisps language was understandable only from good hearted persons and the childhood innocence was a natural condition to easily obtain the result of comprehending the tiny glowing beings. That’s why Stefan reached in few minutes what Cara had needed several hours to achieve long time before.
“My name is Stefan. Nice to meet you Mae.” He unveiled his shining orbs and stared at the magic creature on his hand, all thrilled by his achievement. “Have you seen Cara, I did it!” He turned to the bigger blonde with a beaming expression, excitedly searching for her approval.
“Good job Pinkie. I knew you could do that.” She widely smiled back at him, standing and ruffling his hair with her hand.
She'd never admitted it aloud but - though she knew it was totally irrational from her - she felt utterly proud of him.
The threesome was walking deeper and deeper into a maze of caverns winding into the bowels of a mountain, following the faint glow of Mae, quietly flying in front of them.
The Night Wisp had reported to Kahlan and Cara that she had sensed the evil presence of tens of Mord-Sith outside the Boundary, guarding the wall, patrolling back and forth and very likely waiting for someone. Waiting for Stefan to cross the barrier so that they could catch him again and bring him back to Rahl, both women grimly figured out.
During her days alone by the Boundary, the little magic creature had looked for a safe passage where they could exit from the Westland without being detected from the Sisters of the Agiel. She had found the caves where she was leading the small group now. Also the burrow was crossed by the Boundary and the way out of the caverns was quite far from the magic wall on the Midlands side. Mae had traveled along these rocky corridors and memorized the way out of this warren. Once outside of it, they should be distant enough to go unnoticed and escape from the red-clad women’s insidious ambush.
Unfortunately they were forced to leave the horses back, since the caves weren’t sufficiently large for the beasts to pass through them, and this was slowing them down. There was an utter darkness inside those narrow passages and the air was gelid, thick, filled with humidity which insinuated under their clothes, dampening their skin and chilling them up to the bones. The only light came from the fire of two torches Cara and Kahlan were carrying, and the life beating into the most delicate creature of the world, within whose little wings the two women committed their and Stefan’s lives. Getting lost inside that maze would certainly mean death by thirst, hunger and cold.
The small group was walking with Mae leading, Cara following to face eventual danger coming from ahead, Stefan in the middle and finally Kahlan protecting from potential menaces approaching from behind. The boy suddenly sprinted near Cara and grabbed her free hand. She turned to him with interrogative and slightly annoyed expression. He shrugged and answered to the unspoken question.
“I’m afraid of darkness.”
“What?!” Cara exclaimed surprised. “I’ve seen you facing two fully armed D’Haran soldiers and you want to me to buy that the dark scares you?!”
“You told me that a good warrior must acknowledge and accept his strengths and his weaknesses.” He replied not in the slightest ashamed. “So yes, darkness scares me. Especially when I’m walking in a creepy icy cavern.”
“And what has this to do with my hand?” The Mord-Sith retorted, as she swayed her captured limb and teased him, hoping to be released but already aware that he wouldn’t have pity on her.
“When I’m close to you, I fear nothing!” He answered fully happy and increasing the grip of his tiny hand in hers, letting her clearly understand that for any reason he'd let go the source of his courage.
She shook her head and rolled her eyes, giving up whatever attempt to set her hand free from the little pest. The small boy returned his look ahead completely content and Kahlan behind them put a hand upon her mouth to muffle a chuckle: seeing the proud Mistress Cara Mason defeated from a small child and forced to walk hand in hand with him wasn’t a common show. At least it wasn’t until some weeks ago when said Mistress was introduced to a very special child. Those two blondes were so absolutely cute… If Kahlan wasn’t already completely in love with Cara, she would have probably fallen now, witnessing the priceless sight she was offered.
After an hour of walking hand in hand Cara felt her fingers sweaty and numb; despite this, she liked to have Stefan close - because this way she could guard him better, obviously! - but she really needed a respite from the prolonged contact she wasn’t definitely used with. At least the boy had had the mercy to keep his mouth shut all the time; probably he actually felt uneasy in this troublesome obscure situation.
“What about leaving me now Pinkie?” She asked tentatively. “You’re not scared any longer, are you?”
He didn’t even seem to notice her voice and slightly squeezed the holding hand, mutely declaring that he still wanted her in touch with him. Cara knew very well that kind of mute speech and its eloquence told her that the battle to have her extremity back still wasn’t over. But Cara was the one from whom Stefan had inherited his smartness, so she devised and tried another strategy.
“Look at there behind.” The Mord-Sith whispered putting false innocence in her voice. “It seems to me that Kahlan is feeling all alone. You should keep her company too.” Stefan turned his head and saw the Confessor quietly walking some paces behind them. Actually she looked neglected, walking on her own in that pool of darkness. The generous boy left a relieved Cara and scooted to the brunette catching her free hand.
“Hi Kahlan.” He greeted her smiling.
“Hello you.” She replied smiling as much.
“Cara told me that she is sad if you feel alone, so she asked me to come here and cheer you up.” He declared with child candor.
“Did she really say this?!” The perplexed Confessor asked, skeptically raising an eyebrow.
“Uhm…” The boy mused for a moment tipping his forefinger on his lower lip and staring at the tip of his nose. “Maybe she hasn’t used these words… But this is what she meant!”
“I’m doubtful.” Kahlan replied, sighing. “Cara is not so much attached to me.”
“What the fuck are you saying?!” He exclaimed half dumb-folded, half scandalized.
“Stefan!” Kahlan admonished him, hearing his bad language peering out again, in spite of all her rambled lectures and all the duly administered Cara’s slaps.
“Sorry… habit!” He apologized with a tender smile, fluttering his eyes and begging mercy with his irresistible look. “What I mean is… Heck, she’s more than attached to you! Haven’t you seen the way she looks at you?!” Kahlan blinked confused.
“Oh you’re right!” He added clicking his tongue. “She’s terribly careful and glances at you only when she’s sure you’re not seeing her. But her eyes are always laid on you.” Stefan pondered for a moment then added with a slight melancholy. “And often she sighs.”
Kahlan turned to the boy widening her blue eyes; she had seen this behavior in the red-clad woman and very often, only it wasn’t directed to her, but to Stefan. “You’re fooling me.”
“That’s the truth, I swear it.” He insisted and the Confessor listened to her magic power, telling her that he wasn’t lying. But her face still betrayed skepticism and the boy felt compelled to add more.
“Okay, if I told you that I glimpsed Cara more than once waking up first in the morning and adjusting your blankets to ensure you were warm? And haven’t you ever wondered how comes that she accidentally manages to find the things you like the most so often when she goes hunting?” Kahlan just gaped and kept on staring at the child, who proceeded with his thorough demonstration.
“Sometimes I catch her secretly checking your equipment and providing to replenish it. I asked her why she never said a word to you about it, but she replied that then she’d be forced to hear your pointless annoying thanking words and that her doing wasn't out of kindness, but only pity toward your hopeless distraction… apparently Cara still thinks that I’m a dumb squirt!” He stated with a tsk-tsk noise, before going on.
“And the other day we couldn’t find a stream and we all were thirsty, remember? She feigned to drink and handed to you the waterskin with the last water… well, after allowing me a sip… Anyway, the point is that she doubtlessly cares for you. Deeply.”
During his tirade, the child sometimes threw glances to Cara walking ahead and talked softly. He wasn’t at all a dumb squirt and easily guessed that she wouldn’t like to hear him talking about her that way. And above all she wouldn’t like Kahlan being informed about those delicate attentions which the blonde woman pretended meant nothing, but perfectly knew that meant a lot. That stubborn mule head didn’t want anyone to know about her selflessness. Much less about her soft spots.
“Are you telling me that you’ve never noticed anything?” The little one candidly stared at Kahlan, who was still gaping and incapable of putting two words together. “Well it seems that Cara isn’t totally wrong about your distraction, huh? Oh c’mon Kahlan open your eyes! Really, it seems that she has a crush on you!”
The brunette was still speechless and blinking; thanks to her Confessor nature she could tell that Stefan was sincere. Thus she had actually never noticed Cara’s signs… once again…?! Maybe the kid was right? Maybe the Mord-Sith had an honest affection for her? Hence there was a possibility that they could someday be something… more than friends? Kahlan didn’t dare to hope it. The brunette turned her gaze to the stunning woman walking in front of her, with her determined and sensual way. Probably it was just that Mord-Sith’s determination to make the swaying of her hips so desirable and inflaming the thirst of the Mother Confessor, which now was tinged with a slight shade of hope.
Kahlan thought back to the trip she had traveled with Cara in the past months and the things they passed through to get here: at the beginning the Mord-Sith was totally stiff and grumpy, but it was undeniable that little by little things had changed between them.
Two nights Cara had surrendered to sleep hugged to Kahlan. The thought of that funny but honest apology from Cara - after their debatable kiss in that inn - still made the Confessor smile. And the kiss itself... nothing had been the same anymore after that. Cara's mesmerized look when Kahlan was talking to the Night Wisps at Foot Hills hadn't gone unnoticed. Neither the fact that the blonde had let Kahlan comfort her after the terrible outburst recalling the memories of her lost baby. The morning after Cara had even admitted that she was happy of having partaken such confidences with the Confessor. And then when Kahlan was in the hands of that pig General Spancill, Cara had showed a more than meaningful protectiveness.
How could Kahlan have ignored these and the many other moments in which she had felt that something deeper was transpiring between them… the times they had almost kissed… And not only because of their strong physical attraction... Kahlan couldn’t have only imagined all those things.
Cara… had feelings for her…
Kahlan wondered why she was so oblivious when it came to seeing through Cara; sure she was Mord-Sith and thus unreadable, but there were objective acts showing that the blonde was not completely indifferent to her. Maybe Kahlan simply didn’t dare to hope, fearing to deceive herself and attempting to keep her heart safe. But doing so, she was also about to keep her heart empty, losing the most important person in her life. To her luck a little boy - who seemed to know Cara since a lifetime instead of a fistful of weeks - came along to open her eyes. The Confessor suddenly felt an overwhelming gush of joy.
She threw the torch away and grabbed Stefan, lifting him up and hugging him tight and starting to mercilessly kiss the child so hard that she caused him troubles with breathing.
“You are fantastic Stefan Rahl!” She exclaimed all excited.
“You are not half-bad as well Kahlan, but now please slow down… you’re smothering me!”
“What’s happening?” Cara had suddenly turned around and was staring at the two figures behind her; the Agiel already in her hand. But as she realized that her companions were just wasting time at senselessly cuddling, she lowered her weapon.
“Kahlan what the hell are you doing?”
“It’s just that… Stefan is a very special boy.” She replied, incapable of restraining a wide smile coursing from one ear to the other. But in that darkness Cara didn’t eye it; Kahlan glimpsed instead Cara’s annoyance displayed by a raised eyebrow and a canted hip, even if the blonde was palely lighted up by the torch in her hand.
“How not! And I’m a good cook and you are a good hunter! Now stop with that pointless fussing and get a move on. I don’t want to die hibernated here for having lingered in this icy grave longer than necessary!”
Kahlan put Stefan down and picked up the torch, not at all bothered by the sulky Mord-Sith. The wide smile was firmly stuck on her face.
Cara was instead bothered. It wasn't only the constant blabbing those two were relentlessly flaunting, and it wasn't only that conspiratorial low tone they were using, which alone was enough to tell Cara that they were talking about her. And certainly not in the terms of due dread a good Mord-Sith deserved. She was unconcerned about people talking behind her back, unless that implied her being painted in a fluffy frame.
Aside from this, there was the deed that they were walking inside this pitch black since what seemed an eternity and she didn’t know how many candle marks had exactly passed; not being totally in control of the situation was making her nervous and uncomfortable. Relying on someone else's skill was another thing that made her uncomfortable and especially if said someone was a microscopic ephemeral creature. Cara had already asked the Wisp several times whether she was sure that they were on the right way or if they accidentally got lost. Mae reassured her - in her chanting language - that she knew where they were and that it would take some more time to make it over.
It was impossible to acknowledge in that odd meowing, whether the tiny creature was self assured or if the doubt was cracking her speech, hence Cara was forced to trust her on her word - something the wary Mord-Sith was always cheap at doing. It was also impossible to discern if Mae was annoyed by the blonde’s implication of her having lost sense of direction. Cara didn’t even know if Night Wisps were meant to be annoyed… but so it seemed to her.
The hours were passing by and the temperature turned more and more chilling in the dark narrow cavern; probably it was late night and the situation wasn’t comfortable for any of them. The air was freezing and small clouds of condensation escaped from the threesome's mouths. The fur cloaks wrapping them were helpful, but anyway insufficient to adequately shelter from the thick humidity gathering in icy drops on their faces.
Kahlan's torch flickered with a faint orange glow and finally ran out, suddenly halving the already scant view. Cara turned her head around muttering a half voiced curse. The remaining source of light in her hand was glimmering with uncertainty and wouldn't take long before fading as well.
“You two, come here.” She ordered.
Cara hoped that her respite from being physically close to someone would last a little longer, but if her companions walked far from the light of her torch they would unavoidably topple on the uneven ground again and again. Kahlan and the boy joined Cara's side; the Confessor entangled her arm with her, entwining their fingers and actualizing Cara's fears.
“There's no need for it!” She protested, faintly trying to wriggle from the grasp.
“It's cold!” The brunette objected with a hint of annoyance. Stefan was allowed to hold her hand for hours and she couldn't have a moment of contact? No way! Kahlan wasn't willing to return the confiscated extremity so easily, on the strength of what the kid had just helped her to realize.
“You're hopeless.” The grumpy Mord-Sith complained with a puff of air and a shake of her head. Stefan - who was holding the other Confessor's hand - had to bite his cheek to smother the chortle which would put Cara's limits dangerously at the test.
Despite her protests, Cara was soon pliant in the touch and forced to admit that those fingers gently squeezing hers were driving a relieving warmth inside of her. And it felt so good because she was freezing in this darn tunnel... it always felt incredibly good to touch Kahlan... and it felt so delicious that it was the brunette to look for her touch in the first place and wanted to linger within it...
Creator, stop thinking this way! Cara inwardly chastised herself and focused on the walk. One step and then the other and then the other...
Before the third step, her mind was already drifting to those pale fingertips now delicately tapping against the back of her hand. Cara remembered how they had easily run over the bare skin of her back short time before, and effortlessly traced routes of goose bumps all over her... Spirits, she had wanted those long fingers everywhere on her... and still she did...
I told you to stop it!! Cara shook her head and sharpened her look trying to see clear ahead, but it was almost black in this corridor excluding for the feeble glowing coming from the torch and Mae.
Deprived of her sight, it was mostly Cara's imagination working and making her see things that weren't there. Yet Cara could swear that the Confessor was relentlessly smiling. And the Mord-Sith was damned if she knew what the hell there was to smile for at that moment! In a small corner of her mind, Cara formulated an idea, but it sounded completely absurd and definitely impossible... yet...
The moment Kahlan had unquestionably tried to kiss her when they sat by the fire some nights before flashed in her mind.
Don't even think that she... Stop it! It's pointless. And dangerous.
Cara realized that the brunette was now holding her tighter than before and certainly tighter than necessary. Her red-leather wrapped arm was relentlessly brushing against Kahlan’s side and breast. The Mord-Sith could hear the soft breathing of the Confessor near her and when Kahlan turned her face to her - and for some incomprehensible reason, this happened often - she could even sense the pleasant hot breath coming from those perfect lips, slightly ruffling her strands. Despite all the reprimands she may muster inside her head, all these touches were affecting her beyond control.
To her luck Mae came in help, stopping her flight and floating at mid-air; when the rest of the group reached her she whined something and Kahlan nodded.
“What did she say?” Stefan asked with voice heavy with tiredness. Kahlan provided the answer.
“Mae needs some time alone to gather her spirit and take strength from the natu-”
“Wisps' stuff to accomplish!” Cara curtly summarized, before rudely addressing to the little magic creature. “If the alternative is that you switch off from exhaustion and leave us here lost in this icy grave, then go. We'll put it to use and take a break.”
Mae cheeped something with a voice shriller than usual and not completely intelligible, but the hysterical fluttering of her wings made up for the exact meaning. Then she parted from the group.
“And don't be too long Night Midge!” Cara barked to the tiny back, earning another shrilly squeak in return and a soft giggle from Kahlan.
The threesome wended to a nearby spot where the tunnel was larger and approached to the wall. Cara planted the torch on the ground and shifted her pack from her back. She unrolled her bedroll and beckoned Stefan to sit there. For once the boy silently did as suggested and as his body touched the ground, he immediately fell deeply asleep. The Mord-Sith carefully wrapped him in the fur cloak she had removed from her shoulders.
Kahlan placed her bedroll nearby and was sitting with her back to the wall, her legs stretched ahead. She looked at Cara who was nervously pacing back and forth.
“Sit here Cara.” She gently invited, patting the fabric in the spot beside her.
“I'm not tired.”
“Uhm, I was betting. But we need to share the cloak. You're freezing.”
“I am not-”
“Then why are you brushing your hands around your chest? Or hunching your shoulders?” The rustling of leathers and clatter of teeth Cara was unable to restrain just reinforced Kahlan's theory. Cara sighed defeated. Fucking cold!
She resigned to sit beside Kahlan, who draped the cape on both of them and immediately snuggled against her; a raven haired head resting on Cara's shoulder and a gentle hand leaning on her stomach.
“I'm cold as well.” Kahlan whispered in her hair as an apology for the invasion of Cara's personal space; she was practically on her lap. Another sigh was the meaningful reply.
Kahlan was idly moving her fingers on Cara's leathers and her hot breath was constantly on her neck; nothing good was in the air.
“You should sleep. I'll take the watch.” Cara roughly suggested. Maybe if the Confessor fell unconscious she could try to put a little distance between them. Or at least she'd stop with those teasing fingers.
“Watch?! We can barely see up to our noses.”
“I still have my other senses.”
“You should get some rest as well.” Kahlan breathed out lowly and her hand flied to Cara's cheek, leading the blonde's gaze to meet with hers. In the dimness Cara glimpsed the flickering of Kahlan's eyes and teeth. They were very close now and she averted her look only to have her eyes trapped by the reflection of the drops of humidity glinting from Kahlan's gorgeous cleavage. She swallowed hard.
“Just sleep.” Cara rasped turning her face away. Had Kahlan forgotten her request for distance? She had honored the agreement so far, what happened now to make her change her mind? Cara should have reminded her of their need to stay apart. But the words in her mind got lost along the way to the mouth, thereby remained unspoken.
The Confessor stayed quiet for a while and Cara was hoping she'd fallen asleep, but her hopes weren't fulfilled.
“Cara.” A hot murmur caressed the blonde's neck.
“What?!” She wanted to convey her annoyance, but her soft breathless tone conveyed something else entirely.
“I can't sleep when I'm so close to you...”
“Try harder Confessor.” She also was trying harder to conceal her emotion, but it was a lost cause with Kahlan's hand sneaked upward unauthorized, and now leaning on her breastbone thus perfectly aware of the hammering in Cara's chest. That treacherous hand slowly moved and finger pads reached the slope in the swelling of her breast. A thumb nonchalantly grazing there.
“Cara...” Another torturing whisper. This time freshly moistened lips brushed her neck. Those lips felt hot, terribly hot against her cool skin. A shiver spread on Cara's scalp and ran down her spine. The wetness in her panties was something she was trying to forget about, but the throbbing between her legs constantly reminded her of that.
“What?” A groan filled with need. Kahlan's hand came back to her cheek and again forced Cara to face her. Only this time the brunette’s mouth was much closer than before and lingering with parted lips a hair breadth away from hers.
“... don't call me Confessor.” She exhaled before capturing Cara's lips in hers.
Kahlan's kiss was feverish. Her lips were wet and soft and demanding. And Cara was dying for answering. Feeling that the blonde wasn't rejecting her, Kahlan jerked and in the blink of an eye she was straddling the other woman. A brusque pull on her hair forced Cara's head backward so that Kahlan had better access to her mouth. The Confessor made good use of the improved angle, deepening the kiss and slipping her tongue between Cara's pliant lips. The blonde was mind-blown and gasping under the woman she ardently desired.
In the dark Cara felt Kahlan's hand leaving her locks and trailing down to cup her breast with a rough touch which urged a stifled groan out of her throat. Their mouths parted with a wet smack and Cara swallowed hard before gasping again at the feeling of Kahlan's other hand sliding between them and reaching her heated sex. The pressure was perfect and the rhythm of the strokes increasing. Kahlan was again licking her lips and sucking them. She bit Cara's lower lip and moaned while her ass was tightly grasped by hungry red-gloved hands. The rolling of Kahlan's hips sped up and so did the intensity of the caresses between Cara's legs. Drops of sweat were replacing the humidity on their skin and Cara avidly licked the salty flavor of Kahlan passing her tongue right in the narrow path between swollen breasts; the skim of raven strands on her face and lips was tickling her and making her just want more. The sound of Kahlan's ragged panting was heady and driving her crazy.
Kahlan latched a fist of blonde hair again and forced Cara into another deep passionate kiss, whereas her other hand shifted lower; fingertips pressing against the Mord-Sith's entrance and the heel of her palm brushing against her clit. Cara felt her face burning with desire and her inner walls clenching; she inwardly cursed the clothes between them. She sucked air breathlessly, bucking her hips hard against Kahlan's hand and in a moment she was coming. The orgasm hit her in waves of desperate pleasure while she buried her nails in Kahlan's buttocks. Open mouths loudly gasping into one another and their foreheads leaning in the aftershocks of their rocking motions.
Cara still hadn't completely come down from her release when she heard a voice.
“Cara!”
It was Kahlan's voice... it seemed coming from afar... how could it be? Kahlan was on her lap. And why wasn't she feeling the pressure of the Confessor's weight on her hips any longer?
“Cara wake up!”
The Mord-Sith was still heavily panting and she snapped her eyes open, just to find complete darkness around her.
“The torch has run out while we were asleep.” Kahlan's voice was quiet even if slightly concerned. “You had a bad dream.”
“A... bad dream...?” Cara croaked hardly realizing the situation and still in the grip of her arousal.
“Sorry if I woke you, but you were writhing and making noises... it seemed you were aching...”
“Aching...? Huh... yes... kinda...” She was just too confused to articulate a coherent speech.
“You're burning. You have fever.” Kahlan's gelid palm was now resting on Cara's forehead and she pulled it away brusquely. The motion of her own arm made Cara realize where her hand had been before, namely between her legs where it had procured Cara something she had neglected to achieve lately. The complete darkness had concealed this detail to Kahlan and misled her about the nature of the 'aching' Cara was affected by in her dream.
“I'm okay.” She curtly replied while straightening her back shifting her position and moving away from Kahlan. An awkward silence dropped between them.
Again the unsuspecting Night Wisp came in help, approaching back to the group with a restored twinkling and a better mood. Chasing away the tension, apparently at least.
.
The march restarted, this time the only light to show them the way was Mae's one. This time everyone held their hands to themselves.
Stefan was too exhausted to stay awake, let alone to walk, therefore Cara put him on her back and fastened him with the straps of her backpack, so that she her hands were free. Having him crouched against her was granting a bit of more warmth for the both of them. And the wax and wane of his chest, releasing a shallow breathing was distracting her a bit from what had just happened.
But her thoughts were relentlessly returning to her hot dream. Surely her impossibility to release herself in the past days had a big part in driving her horny beyond control. But it wasn't the only reason.
The truth was that fantasizing was painfully becoming insufficient. Cara's body was telling her that she wanted more. She wanted something concrete. She wanted Kahlan in every possible way.
She wanted to know how it would feel to have Kahlan trembling under her touches, panting within her kisses, with their bare bodies pressed against each other; Kahlan's milky flawless skin brushing against her scarred one. Cara needed to feel everything of the other woman, digging her nails in her delicate flesh and burying her face in every dip of Kahlan’s soft body, to touch, kiss, smell and taste every corner of the brunette. She recalled her dream and the entrancing feeling of their opened mouths searching for each other, mingling their breaths and blending their moans in a loving symphony. Building the crescendo of pleasure that had effortlessly and quickly pushed her over the edge.
Cara felt that the choking need to possess Kahlan was clutching at her chest with so much intensity that her heart could split in two at every moment. She craved to completely take and completely give herself to the other woman… to make love to her… with her... An experience the blonde had never taken part of in her life, neither had she ever wished to.
Until she met Kahlan.
Yes Kahlan Amnell, Mother Confessor, Queen of Aydindril and all the other stuff, but most of all the woman promised to Cara's Lord Rahl.
In this utter darkness, lost inside the heart of a mountain, Cara was losing her reference points and could nearly forget everything… That she was Mord-Sith and Kahlan was the Mother Confessor, the sworn enemy of her kind. This was a detail since long time overrode, but the deed that Cara was supposed to be unemotional was not. She was meant to feel nothing, much less love; much much less love for a Confessor; much much much less love for the Confessor betrothed to her Lord Rahl. And not whatever Rahl, but Richard: the man who saved Cara many times and in many ways. The man for whom Cara would give her life a hundred times, rather than betraying.
In this obscurity time and space lost significance and Cara had difficulties at finding the right orientation. It was hard to discern what was more important. Everything just tended to become blurred and Cara could almost forget about Richard and turn to the two persons here with her, who she knew could teach her what being happy meant. Happiness... Maybe it was the unknown mirage of a home, a place where she could have the courage of settling down and dwelling for the rest of her life? Maybe it was to learn how it felt to be part of a family? She had lost that memory since long time... Were these things more important than duty and loyalty? In her disorientation, the confused Mord-Sith wasn't any longer so sure of the answer.
This forgotten gloom led Cara to almost dare dreaming of being worthy of happiness. Kahlan was here with her... Cara could almost decide to turn around and claim her lips which seemed hanging on... waiting for the blonde to give up her opposition to this incomprehensible thing trapping her chest and drawing her to the Confessor, with an impulse achingly stronger than Cara’s will. The trembling Mord-Sith abruptly stopped her walking, consequentially making the brunette halt as well.
“Kahlan…” She huskily whispered. “…what if we’d never find the way out of here?”
“Why are you asking this?” The Confessor immediately perceived the strange note in Cara’s voice. “Mae is leading us. Don’t worry we’ll doubtlessly get out.”
“And what if I wouldn't want to...?”
“What do you mean Cara?” She asked warily; the tremble in the blonde’s tone was evident now.
Cara took Kahlan's hand and squeezed her fingers, moving forward to let herself go; for real this time. She was tired of fighting. In this mystifying dimness she couldn’t even see the point of her struggling any longer… She just wanted to surrender, delaying the facing of the consequences for another moment. Giving way to the confused feelings looming over her and tearing her apart.
The Mord-Sith was less than an inch away from Kahlan, she could feel the nearness of her mouth, her quick breathing, the warmth radiating from her stiff body and some sort of electricity sparkling all around them in anticipation of what was about to tumble down on them.
I need you Kahlan, more than anything else, I need you...
But the instant before her soft lips made contact with Kahlan's a faint purple glow in the distance slowly emerged and joined the light of the Night Wisp. It was the breaking of the sunrise shyly painting the sky and seeping through the nearby way out of the cave. Reaching the widened pupils of the two exhausted women.
They were over.
The darkness was over and under the sunlight all Cara's reference points returned clear. She knew who she was and what conduct she was called to honor. Along with the dark, also the illusion in which Cara had lingered for some small moments faded; the illusion to forget about the pillars in her way toward Kahlan. The faint sunbeams made them return well in sight and Cara’s purpose to resist the primal call of her painful longings as well.
She backed up from the Confessor and disentangled their fingers, doubtlessly breaking the magic of the moment. She resolutely walked toward the exit of the cave as if nothing was about to happen and leaving a totally confused Kahlan behind.