Thank God
for Culp Shirley. Isn't that the wierdest thing a person could ever say. Well, he knocked on my door, but I was already in the tub, about to do something I might regret (if you can regret after you die) when he barged in, made me get out, and forced me to go with him. His advice, as usual, was not the greatest, but it showed me somebody cared. And Shavaugn called me, showing somebody else cared. But I still want to do it. I just can't tell people. That was my mistake. The love of my life didn't call or come down or anything to check on me, making it clear that she doesn't care at all. Fuck her. She only cares about herself. She told me herself that she stopped trying. She stopped trying to love me, she stopped trying to care, she stopped trying to be there for me. Honestly, if she were to have been the one to show up, I might not try again. Everyone is saying I have so much to live for, but in all actuality, I can't see it. Everywhere I look I see her. And, where she used to be smiling, now she is just flipping me off. Nobody saved my life tonight. I'm done. Fuck you all for pretending to care. Especially you who said you would never leave me, who said that every day you loved me more, who lied to me from day one.