what actually hurts the most
What hurts the most is that any chance I may have had, even just to be her friend, I pushed away with my immature actions. I pushed her into the arms of another. Even if she doesn't love him, I'm sure he is comforting her and she will fall in love with him. Falls can be dangerous, but can also be exhilarating. You can hurt yourself, but you can also have fun on the way down. I did this to her. Now she has blocked me, deleted me from her existence, not out of fear of ruining any friendship, like what I'm doing, but out of anger. I'm sorry I pissed you off Danielle. I pissed myself off even more. Now you're out of my life. It's going to take quite a few notes to myself and self-encouragements to leave you alone, but I'm going to do it. Read the bottom entry all the way through to see what I'm doing, and why I am doing it.