It's funny how a man only thinks about the *BEEP!*
Don't worry about the subject line. My close friends know that I'm obsessed (in an ironic way!) with the Pussycat Dolls. The reason it came to mind is because I wanted to start this entry with "It's funny..."
So,
It's funny how sometimes a friend tells you good news, and instead of being happy about it, you just want to crawl in a hole and die. It's a selfish thing, kind of...well, not selfish if you don't let it consume your reaction to that person. But it's a reaction to knowing that the thing that's making them happy is painfully missing in your life. It's hard to shower congratulations upon someone when what they've said has exposed your rawest nerve.
It's especially hard when that person is a fiber in your rawest nerve. When that person never looked your way though you wanted them so badly, and now they've found someone else. What kind of happiness are you supposed to dredge up in this situation?
Selfless happiness, of course, which I do feel, don't get me wrong. You're talking to the guy who has counselled girls he liked through relationships, not taking into account the fact that he'd rather they just leave them behind and see something in him.
Still. It's like I said. It's watching the world move around me, while I pass through it, just barely connected to it. Sometimes people don't even see me, or feel me, even though I feel them. Connections between individuals are responses that happen inside the people involved. There is no spiritual string that connects their hearts or their minds. No feeling I send to someone will touch them unless they have it, too.
Good luck to you. I hope you'll be very happy. Maybe I'll dream of you again tonight, and hopefully not stay up too late wondering why no one wants me for their own.
So,
It's funny how sometimes a friend tells you good news, and instead of being happy about it, you just want to crawl in a hole and die. It's a selfish thing, kind of...well, not selfish if you don't let it consume your reaction to that person. But it's a reaction to knowing that the thing that's making them happy is painfully missing in your life. It's hard to shower congratulations upon someone when what they've said has exposed your rawest nerve.
It's especially hard when that person is a fiber in your rawest nerve. When that person never looked your way though you wanted them so badly, and now they've found someone else. What kind of happiness are you supposed to dredge up in this situation?
Selfless happiness, of course, which I do feel, don't get me wrong. You're talking to the guy who has counselled girls he liked through relationships, not taking into account the fact that he'd rather they just leave them behind and see something in him.
Still. It's like I said. It's watching the world move around me, while I pass through it, just barely connected to it. Sometimes people don't even see me, or feel me, even though I feel them. Connections between individuals are responses that happen inside the people involved. There is no spiritual string that connects their hearts or their minds. No feeling I send to someone will touch them unless they have it, too.
Good luck to you. I hope you'll be very happy. Maybe I'll dream of you again tonight, and hopefully not stay up too late wondering why no one wants me for their own.