Yeah, I thought that someone notice. I thought somebody would say something if I was missing...
If I saw this post, I wouldn't read it. It's LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
So I was looking at some thing last night on signs of depression(not for myself but b/c I'm writing(yes writing, writers block has subsided, but more on that later) something with a character who becomes depressed, none of this is anywhere near the point) and apparently I'm depressed. I didn't know that.
"Are you showing several of these signs of depression?
• Persistent feelings of sadness, irritability or anxiety (yes)
• Overreaction to irritations (no)
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed, including sex (yes, well not sex)
• Sleeping too much, or sleeping too little (yes)
• Losing or gaining weight (no)
• Tiredness or restlessness (yes)
• Slowed movement, thought and/or speech (yes)
• Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness (yes)
• Inability to concentrate and poor memory (1/2 yes, good memory)
• Loss of motivation (yes)
• Feelings of hopelessness (yes)
• Suicidal thoughts and/or behavior (no, that's a big one)
• Withdrawal from relationships, anti-social behavior (yes)
• Physical aches and pains that seem to have no other cause (yes)
If you have a few of the symptoms on this list, you may be suffering from a form of clinical depression"
A few? I can check off most of those. But I never thought of any of those things as depression, I just figured that was who I was (except for not enjoying things and loss of motivation, I knew that was bad). But seriously, what the fuck?
It's time for a rant:
So my life, so far, hasn't turned out the way I wanted it to. I mean, I've been expecting a turn around, some good things to come my way, at least before the end of high school, and they haven't come. I mean, I've kept faith in destiny and being a good person and I thought that if I did all that, good things will come. Well, it's not like bad came, but nothing came. So I repeat, what the fuck?
And how come people don't call back. Shouldn't that bother me? I mean, I've come to expect it, that's gotta wrong in some way. And this isn't meant at anyone specific because everybody does it. All that does is help justify my wanting to leave really, because I don't mean enough to call. I feel so unimportant to so many people that I feel are so important to me that counting people that actually have some desire to see my face doesn't even require the help of the Dr. Suess classic,
"one fish two fish, red fish blue fish." Maybe I'm being unfair, undoubtedly someone will think so, luckily no one will call me to tell me off.
And, womens sports had two milestones within the last week:
-The first dunk in WNBA history (Lisa Leslie)
-The first annual Womens Sup-her (seriously, that's what it's called) was played, but unfortunately b/c it's woman playing football I don't know who won, who played, or for that matter where any teams come from. But at least I knew it happened, one up on you.
Good night(even though you're probably sleeping) and have a pleasant tomorrow.
So I was looking at some thing last night on signs of depression(not for myself but b/c I'm writing(yes writing, writers block has subsided, but more on that later) something with a character who becomes depressed, none of this is anywhere near the point) and apparently I'm depressed. I didn't know that.
"Are you showing several of these signs of depression?
• Persistent feelings of sadness, irritability or anxiety (yes)
• Overreaction to irritations (no)
• Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed, including sex (yes, well not sex)
• Sleeping too much, or sleeping too little (yes)
• Losing or gaining weight (no)
• Tiredness or restlessness (yes)
• Slowed movement, thought and/or speech (yes)
• Guilt, low self-esteem, feelings of worthlessness (yes)
• Inability to concentrate and poor memory (1/2 yes, good memory)
• Loss of motivation (yes)
• Feelings of hopelessness (yes)
• Suicidal thoughts and/or behavior (no, that's a big one)
• Withdrawal from relationships, anti-social behavior (yes)
• Physical aches and pains that seem to have no other cause (yes)
If you have a few of the symptoms on this list, you may be suffering from a form of clinical depression"
A few? I can check off most of those. But I never thought of any of those things as depression, I just figured that was who I was (except for not enjoying things and loss of motivation, I knew that was bad). But seriously, what the fuck?
It's time for a rant:
So my life, so far, hasn't turned out the way I wanted it to. I mean, I've been expecting a turn around, some good things to come my way, at least before the end of high school, and they haven't come. I mean, I've kept faith in destiny and being a good person and I thought that if I did all that, good things will come. Well, it's not like bad came, but nothing came. So I repeat, what the fuck?
And how come people don't call back. Shouldn't that bother me? I mean, I've come to expect it, that's gotta wrong in some way. And this isn't meant at anyone specific because everybody does it. All that does is help justify my wanting to leave really, because I don't mean enough to call. I feel so unimportant to so many people that I feel are so important to me that counting people that actually have some desire to see my face doesn't even require the help of the Dr. Suess classic,
"one fish two fish, red fish blue fish." Maybe I'm being unfair, undoubtedly someone will think so, luckily no one will call me to tell me off.
And, womens sports had two milestones within the last week:
-The first dunk in WNBA history (Lisa Leslie)
-The first annual Womens Sup-her (seriously, that's what it's called) was played, but unfortunately b/c it's woman playing football I don't know who won, who played, or for that matter where any teams come from. But at least I knew it happened, one up on you.
Good night(even though you're probably sleeping) and have a pleasant tomorrow.