(no subject)
oh wow i feel cool. not really, i feel like a bad dog who knows hes doing something wrong. i know i should not let someone have so much (emotional) control over me. but i cant help but do it anyway, im addicted like a drug. and im having withdrawls, i feel like im kind of at crossroads, i could choose to get sucked back in to that place, one more time, with the risk of having a harder time dealing with it next time; or i could just go cold turkey.(its really hard to call it cold turkey when its really just being ignored). i dont want to play this game anymore i want to quit. i want to say fuck it, fuck you, and just forget it all. thats what part of me wants to say. lets see if it actually happens...