Jokes
Jokes, funny, but they take up a lot of room so I guess I'll give you a LJcut
I was walking
across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to
jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.
Michael took Kevin
along with him to confession for moral support. Kevin waited in the
pews while Michael approached the confessional.
"Forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Ah Michael," sighed the priest, "you have grieved the Holy Spirit. Tell me, was it Mary McCarthy?"
"I
can't tell you, father," answered Michael, "I promised I wouldn't say,
but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Michael, this is not what you have been taught by Mother Church. Was it Sinead O'Rourke?"
"I can't say, father, I promised I wouldn't, but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Ah, Michael, your poor mother and father would be heartbroken to know this. I wonder, was it Philomena Donnelly?"
"I can't tell you, father, I promised, forgive me, I have been with a woman."
"Michael, my son, I harboured such high hopes for you when you were an altar boy. Tell me, was it Therese Murphy?"
"Father, I can't say, I promised, forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
The priest pronounced, "Michael, you must say 50 Our Fathers and 30 Hail Marys."
"Thank you, father," a relieved Michael acknowledged, and went back to the pews where his mate Kevin was waiting.
"Michael, Michael, what did the father say?"
"He gave me 50 Our Fathers, 30 Hail Marys and four good leads."
I was walking
across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to
jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it."
"Why shouldn't I?" he asked.
"Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Are you religious?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?"
"Christian."
"Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?"
He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915."
I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off.
Michael took Kevin
along with him to confession for moral support. Kevin waited in the
pews while Michael approached the confessional.
"Forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Ah Michael," sighed the priest, "you have grieved the Holy Spirit. Tell me, was it Mary McCarthy?"
"I
can't tell you, father," answered Michael, "I promised I wouldn't say,
but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Michael, this is not what you have been taught by Mother Church. Was it Sinead O'Rourke?"
"I can't say, father, I promised I wouldn't, but forgive me, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
"Ah, Michael, your poor mother and father would be heartbroken to know this. I wonder, was it Philomena Donnelly?"
"I can't tell you, father, I promised, forgive me, I have been with a woman."
"Michael, my son, I harboured such high hopes for you when you were an altar boy. Tell me, was it Therese Murphy?"
"Father, I can't say, I promised, forgive me father, I have sinned, I have been with a woman."
The priest pronounced, "Michael, you must say 50 Our Fathers and 30 Hail Marys."
"Thank you, father," a relieved Michael acknowledged, and went back to the pews where his mate Kevin was waiting.
"Michael, Michael, what did the father say?"
"He gave me 50 Our Fathers, 30 Hail Marys and four good leads."