numa numa
I'm not sure about today. My mom called me around 3:30 to tell me that my Aunt Marion and Uncle Clancy were killed in a car accident, ironically, yesterday on their way to Florida. At first I was like, Aunt Marion and Uncle Clancy...I don't know them that well. But then I was like, Aunt Marion and Uncle Clancy...I've known them forever. I've been to their home so many times. And then I thought of how they died. I thought of a huge truck careening into them and them sitting next to eachother, probably terrified, for the last moments of their lives. And then I thought of my grandfather. My poppi, who I miss so much. I miss both my grandparents so much. And my poor Poppi...that was his sister. my mom said he's in denial. And I should call him but I don't even know what to say. And my mom. Her aunt and uncle. So tell me why all of this stuff happens right top of other things. Why my aunt seems to be getting sicker, and my oma older, and why eric hit that lady and killed her, and why my great aunt and uncle got killed. And I'm all the way out here in Cleveland. I can't go to their funeral. I can't be there for my family. I can't do anything. I'm alone. All alone out here in Cleveland, OH. Rachel's gone...she's with Scott. Matt's at home with his family. All my other friends have their own groups of friends which are all closer knit with eachother than with me. And I want somebody to hold. I want somebody to tell me that it's okay that I can't go home to be with my family. I cried for a long time this afternoon. I couldn't even tell any of my friends here. i told matt cause i was talking to him online when my mom told me. and nona cause she came into the room while i was crying. i didn't even tell rachel. i don't have anybody here worth telling.
i need a hug so badly.
i need a hug so badly.