Top Ten Proofs that Stephanie Sherman is actually a robot!
Proof #10
Her overly large hands are an indication of a parts mismatch at the robot factory. In human beings, the various parts of the body tend remain proportionate to one another... with robots however, sometimes a mistake is made at the point of origin... sometimes these mistakes aren't caught in the quality assurance tests and that is how you end up with a normal sized slender "girl" with the hands of a Norwegian quarterback.
Proof #9
The ability to fit into a 40 gallon tank cannot be a mere coincidence. Occam's razor states that all other things being equal, the simpler explanation is often true. Therefore one can presume that the fact that Stephanie can fit into a 40 gallon tank is no mere coincidence. Especially when one considers the fact that robots are often transported in 40 gallon tanks. Only a fool who doesn't believe in the sharpness of the Occam's aforementioned razorblade could doubt the validity of this argument.
Proof #8
Stephanie's ability to communicate with dolphins, and indeed, all creatures of the sea, makes it more likely that she is a robot. Although there have been a few rare cases of human beings possessing this capability, it is something that all robots can do. Although this proof is not a smoking gun by itself, it adds to the mounting body of evidence that Stephanie has robotic origins.
Proof #7
Stephanie's tendency to ingest large amounts of intoxicants at social gatherings with little to no apparent effect suggests a non-mammalian nervous system. Anyone who has ever partied with Stephanie has remarked that her behavior doesn't change no matter how much alcohol she consumes. In ordinary humans, large quantities of alcohol make them drunk. Stephanie's behavior doesn't seem to be altered in the least bit by alcohol and/or other intoxicants. One can only conclude that she is a robot.
Proof #6
Stephanie loves to dress up as C3P0. Most humans choose to emulate human heroes, such as Han Solo or Princess Leia. An occasional oddball might even choose to have a wookie costume. But only another robot would choose to don the metallic duds of C3P0.
Proof #5
Spray paint does not irritate Stephanie's skin. Spray paint canisters carry a clear label to avoid direct contact with the skin. Stephanie Sherman's skin remains unperturbed by spray paint even hours after application. One is forced to conclude that her skin is likely composed of some synthetic material.
Proof #4
Stephanie can eat even the spiciest food with impunity. At Tijuana Flats, I personally observed, along with several innocent bystanders, Stephanie smother her food in the spiciest dressings available and then devour it as if it was nothing. Her eyes didn't even tear up. In fact, there have been eyewitness accounts of Stephanie eating bloodcurdlingly spicy food with absolutely no effect. In fact, she almost seems to enjoy it. Clearly only a robotic organism could tolerate such high levels of spiciness.
Proof #3
Stephanie's "dance" moves are so terrible that only a robot could perform them. Only a robot could display such a jaw-dropping lack of grace and rhythm in their bodily movements. No human being alive today could perform the right-angled moves and high degree of awkwardness that Stephanie routinely displays on the dance floor.
Proof #2
Stephanie behaves awkwardly and constantly becomes flustered in social settings. The reason for this is that her emotional processor has a hard time interpreting and responding to other humans in real time. If you have ever seen Stephanie behave awkwardly or nervously, it is most likely evidence of an innate defense mechanism responding to a situation where she lacks the ability or processing capacity to understand the simple human social dynamics at works. For example, waving to, smiling at, and saying hello to Stephanie is actually a complicated and difficult task for her microchips. Especially if you do all three at once.
Proof #1
Anyone who has heard the uncanny volume, pitch, and resonance of Stephanie Sherman's belch intuitively knows that something is amiss. What they don't always realize is that this is actually Stephanie's way of producing an electrochemical field in order to achieve faster-than-light communication with her evil galactic overlords.
Robotic overthrow of human civilization is a serious issue. Please do your part to raise awareness of the daily robot insinuation into the government, media, and transnational corporations.
