Summary: The original Team Kakashi is reunited once more. Then, Sai made the greatest mistake of his life by cracking one of his penis jokes in front of Sasuke. Unfortunately, he thinks he's funny.
A/n
LOL
Missed creating something light and simple. I had to go away from my heavier fics for a while. Ok, breathe, ehhe. I remember the time in the manga when Sai called Sasuke a traitor. That infuriating smile of his annoy every nerves of my body. (even though I think he's cool cuz he can draw ^^ ) Just assume that Naruto and Sasuke is already in a relationship here. I dont want to be bothered on building the said story just for this one. >.<
Can anybody suggest a better title?
Created this while the whole world is currently in Manga Chapter 288. So apparently, Sai does not have a change of heart here *big grin
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edited Mar19
edited May 28
Stucked-up
Stucked-up
by veiledlantern
Several years had marked Konoha’s greatest struggle and other Shinobi villages as well. Many lives were lost, Konoha nin or not. Of course, danger lurks every now and then but ever since the Akatsuki war, ninjas had learned to breathe deep again. And after a lot of yip, dash, zoom, zap and blam, Team Kakashi has finally been reunited. So it did not need some mentioning that they unofficially kicked Sai. Its for the betterment of their group, they reasoned out. And to their sanity as well. But being his infuriating self, he never made it easier for them.
"So that means I'm leaving then." Sai smiled "And besides, my record is clean. I do not want to be associated by the likes of that person" He directed a blank stare at Sasuke. The said person's eye twitched, but did not do anything. However, Naruto won't back down to another bastardly remark of the person he once grudgingly accepted as 'temporary' teammate.
"Oe! you bastard! How dare you say things like that in front of Sasuke!" He pointed a finger at Sai and started to stomp over his place but Sakura immediately stepped in front of him.
Sai just smiled."What? Your fake smiles cannot trick me again. Even though I know that your fists is as strong as the famed Godaime herself, I can make a way to evade that."
But as Sakura prepares her retort, Sasuke unexpectedly speak up. "And who would want to be associated with you?" He stared at Sai royally, then looked at fuming Naruto and Sakura. "Seems like none." Sasuke snorted his 'Hn' then turned his back to them and started walking away. Naruto and Sakura naturally followed. Kakashi would scratch his head if ever he is not away on a mission.
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Sasuke is not fully pardoned yet so as they waited for his term to finish, they continue to accept missions. Life goes on. And that includes Naruto whining every now and then whenever they landed on a low class one. Nevermind that, but the comfort of a Sai-free team is very refreshing indeed. Its a thing to have a bastard for a teammate but having two bastards for a teammate who is a bastard on two different levels is too much of an abuse for Team Kakashi's pure, unadulterated heart.
Sakura looked over Kakashi and Naruto. Pure and unadulterated heart. Now that's an understatement. Inner Sakura snorted and breathed out the word ‘pervs’ under her breath. At least the tension is gone.
Lunchtime. Four backs were seen on the Ramen stand that day after a tiring mission. From the left, a hunched jounin in a standard Shinobi uniform is sitting. Next to him is a girl with a red blouse and white skirt slitted to the waist, with short black leggings underneath. Next to her is a boy with a black and orange jacket with orange pants. Then on the last seat is another boy with all black attire that has an Uchiha symbol on the back of his shirt. The original four members of Team Kakashi is leisurely eating Ramen at Ichiraku that time, enjoying their innocent 'get together' as Naruto puts it. Of course it did not concern the old not-so-secret mission of seeing a mask-less Kakashi.
And of course Naruto had tempted him to it again. Sasuke thought bitterly. For everything as useless and absurd as this, He blamed the blond boy for baiting him on it. What’s worse is that he always ended up riding with the mischievous boy’s games. He still has a score to settle with the dobe for getting taller than him and Sakura, afterall
"Bweee! Bweee! Bwee!" Everybody sighed while Sakura abandoned her chopsticks for a while to pick her Master's pet up. "What's wrong Ton-ton? Is there a problem?" Sakura lifted the piglet up to her eye level.
That time Kakashi transferred his chopsticks to his left hand. There, he's going to remove his mask to sip the broth. Everybody froze on their seats and secretly looked at Kakashi. Well, it only applied to Sasuke anyway. Naruto paused on mid-slurp with his big eyes swiveling to the direction of their Sensei. Sakura lowers the protesting pig a bit, similarly expectant. The unsuspecting Kakashi lifted his hands. Slowly, slowly, slowy...
A strong whirl of the air surprised the slow motioned event happening on the counters of Ichiraku Ramen Stand.
"Sakura-san! Tsunade-sama needs your assistance!" Two medics crowded the place between Kakashi and Sakura.
A shocked silence. Then three persons shouted in rage and frustration inside their minds.
Finally, a green, concerned eye looked up the two white-clad nins. "An emergency? Something is wrong. I'll be there in a minute." Said Sakura with worry lacing her face. At the same time, a left hand suddenly flew sideways, slapping the hip of the nearest medic-nin that inadvertently sent them flying to the other side of the road. A loud crash was heard followed by pained grunts and a thick circle of dust. The former Team 7 paid them no attention and refocused on their beloved Sensei.
"Gochisosama(thanks for the food)" Kakashi clapped his hands together and bowed a bit. "Ah, what a pleasant day eating with your teammates." Kakashi smiled behind his mask, lowering the chopsticks on the empty bowl. His seatmates merely gaped. He ignored their weird stares and smiled sweetly at them.
"Is there something wrong?" He said cheerfully. This seemed to only make the three look more depressed.
Kakashi looked closely at his kids to know what's wrong. When he didn’t find anything that is death threatening, he dismissed it as a mere teenage thing.
Sometime later, Sakura stands up and bid goodbye on her male teammates then collected the pile of medic nin on the opposite side of the street on her way to the hospital. Some minutes after, Kakashi stands up.
"Ma~ I'll be going then, I'll see you guys tomorrow."
"See us?" Naruto asked. "But Kakashi-sensei, Sasuke is still grounded isn’t he?"
"I did say that I would see you guys tomorrow aren’t I? That means Sasuke is included too" Kakashi replied good-naturedly
Sasuke looked up at Kakashi. Naruto whooped and jumped from his seat.
"Yatta! so that means Sasuke-chan is going on missions with us again! Sungee!(so great!)"
Naruto immediately glomped Sasuke out of pure joy. Sasuke reacted quickly by pushing Naruto from him
"Get off baka, you're making a scene" Sasuke glared at Naruto while the blond boy just ignored him and continued on squeezing the living daylights out of the thin boy's body.
Kakashi observe the two squabbling boys silently, thoughts hidden. Then he raised his palms to bid goodbye to them. "Ja sore, See you around then."
"Aa, ja, Kaka-sensei!" Naruto said while holding the still struggling Sasuke.
Some moments later, Sasuke had been successful on removing Naruto out of him by planting a hard sandaled feet on his face. Then he stood up from his seat to go back to his apaato. Predictably, Naruto followed him.
"What the hell, Sasuke, why are you so cranky today? Its not like somebody pissed on your pants or something" Naruto with his face still red with the mark of Sasuke's sandals sulkily said from behind, obviously miffed by the rejection he received earlier. Sasuke just frowned more and increased his walking. Several kilometers before he reached his house, Naruto got impatient and grabbed his arms to shove him to the nearest empty alley.
"What's wrong" The blond boy demanded.
"Nothing" Sasuke looked sideways, the frown in his face never leaving.
"Sasuke..." Naruto said in a threatening voice.
"I told you its nothing" taking in of breath. "...Its nothing important." he added softly
"Then there's something in there, wasn’t it? Come on, what is it?"
Several minutes passed and Sasuke still refused to speak. Naruto felt the urge to hit him but thought the better of it. They're not kids anymore. He wiped his face and gave Sasuke a light kiss on the lips instead. Sasuke give a disapproving glare, but not strong enough to have an effect to Naruto. Sasuke looked sideways again.
"I ran into Sai this morning." Came out a cool reply.
"So that stuck into your ass the whole day?" Naruto replied disbelievingly. "He's very easy to handle, you know."
"So that’s why you exploded like you’re going to kill him every time he speaks at you. God, I never really thought you enjoy talking to him that much. I’m jealous" Sasuke said sarcastically
Naruto give out a defensive pout. "Well, its because he keep giving lewd remarks and all and he's annoying and argh! Let's drop this, I'll be walking you home"
Sasuke breathed out 'fine' then removed himself from the wall he's leaning to then he and Naruto walked side by side till he reached his apartment.
"Really Sasuke. What is it you've talked about with Sai that sent you boiling the whole day?"
Sasuke started unlocking the door. "I already told you idiot, its not that important"
"Its important to me! Tell me what is it!"
Sasuke paused on his fiddling with the keys to look at Naruto's blue eyes. Eyes widening up a bit. Naruto is worried about him. Naruto treasures him. He is special in the eyes of someone. He felt the feelings behind the word, and he can't hide the fact that he's touched by it. Well, as long as he could hide it to other people it would be fine. He paused for a moment then opened the door and tug Naruto inside. And after that, everything went fast forward.
He found himself sitting on his own table as Naruto devoured his lips over and over, kissing him like no tomorrow. Naruto is always in the extreme on everything. Well, passionate is a more appropriate word.
"Unnnnnnnnnnnggggg" He groaned from a tasteful nip.
From his clothes to his beliefs to his temper. Especially his temper. And of course…
-He gasped. -
In sex.
Sasuke groaned as Naruto bit a sensitive spot at his neck. He felt himself being pushed down the long table slowly and he wiggled up a bit. Noticeably, his body is too long to fit on the said furniture because his knees were left dangling at the edge. But it’s none their concern right now. And they don’t have to worry about the table breaking, it’s just at least two feet elevated from the floor. Sasuke give out a sigh of pleasure as he felt his back on the table and Naruto started running his hands inside his shirt. Naruto's mouth is at his chest now.
"Aahhh" Sasuke breathed out
Naruto started dragging his mouth lower. Sasuke felt the fangs grazing his nipple and gasped. He arched on the hands that roughly skimmed upwards, causing his shirt to bunch up. Naruto immediately catched the bare nipple, licking it in one fast swipe then sucked hard. Sharp teeth included.
-Shit-.
Sasuke had to summon his self-control to keep from moaning again. He arched again and tilted his head upwards. Naruto jumped and had amazingly tucked himself between his legs to meet the hardness between it. This time he loudly moaned.
And when he felt the feverish hands tugging his shorts down, the word 'mission' came up suddenly. He immediately seized the hands and reflexively buckled. Naruto look back at him with enraged eyes.
"Mission." He simply uttered.
Naruto sat up, his hands on the edge of the table and swore ardently for the love of Orochimaru-bastard.
"CHIKUSHOOOOOOOOO!" Or rather, howled the word, as his loud, frustrated voice filled up the room. Sasuke winced. He's frustrated as well. But they are shinobi. They should always be careful.
"Fine! I'll go to the bathroom and relieve myself!" Naruto roughly said and is going to stomp off the bathroom when Sasuke suddenly sit up and grabbed his arms. He is silent for a while, contemplating something. Then made up his mind.
"Dont leave, I'll help you."
At this, Naruto's face lightened up and bounced to sit on the table again, grabbing Sasuke's hair. He immediately dug his face on the white neck, and sucked every skin that is available for him. Then Sasuke put his palms at Naruto's chest to push him a bit. Naruto looked at his eyes. "Only if you will do me first."
Naruto smirked. "Do you first? You do know what that means, aren't you?" His eyes danced with mischief.
Reading his mind, Sasuke gave him a flat stare. "NO. Come on, continue what you've started or the mood will be gone"
"Mmmmm..... fine, fine...." He licked long wet strokes on Sasuke's neck while ghosting his hands on the brunette's sides.
Sasuke found himself flat on the table again, this time free from the confines of his shorts. He wring Naruto's hair, breath coming to short gasps as his hand follow the fair head as it goes lower. And lower.
He had to hold his breath for a while.
oOo
Sasuke's lips were swollen from the kissing fest they did just a while ago. He was silent while cupping the warm tea with the both of his hands. Naruto is resting half of his body at Sasuke's right shoulder, humming some toneless song.
"...He called me a traitor"
Naruto suddenly straightened up on the word. He had heard Sai called Sasuke that name a number of times but to learn that he had said it to Sasuke's face makes it much more maddening. /How dare that asshole.../
"What did you do?" He voiced out instead
"Nothing"
"Nothing?"
"Yeah, nothing"
"As in nothing nothing?"
"Yes." Sasuke said firmly. Twitching eyes does not count. And thinking morbid thoughts either.
"But, but, he insulted you and stuff. Shouldn’t you be mad?"
Sasuke was silent on that, just stared mutely at his mug. Naruto sighed, not understanding what Sasuke is going to.
"C’mon, let just go to bed. Would you let me sleep in here?"
"Of course, dumbass. Do you need to ask me that every time you crash in for a sleepover?"
"Er, no, its just that..." Naruto scratched his head abashedly.
Now it was Sasuke's turn to sigh. He grabbed Naruto by the collar and kicked him straight to the bedroom. Hard. Yes, he heard that thump and a big owww from an equally big mouth. He smirked in satisfaction and finished his tea before following Naruto to the room. Before entering, he paused on the door and started to condition himself. Mission tomorrow. Focus. Duty first before everything. He took a deep breath and go in.
He smiled. Naruto had already cleaned himself and is already on the bed, facing the wall. Never mind that the blond boy is ignoring him pointedly, he's going to have a reward after the mission for being patient.
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Hokage Towers on a fine sunny morning.
"(Old hag) BABA YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING!"
A loud thwack.
"Iteee(ouchhhh)......"
"Quiet, brat. As I was saying, I needed Sakura to assist me to attend to Lee because of the fatal wounds. I can't pull her out since Shizune is treating Tenten as well. At least Neji and Gai is in good condition.
Kakashi nodded in assent.
"But, but, you don’t have to include that asshole in the team!" Naruto pointed a finger at Sai, who merely smiled in return. Sasuke managed to have a straight face.
"Naruto, don’t you respect my choices? I think Sai is more than capable of handling this certain kind of mission. And besides, he had been on your team before, so I don’t think there's something wrong with it."
"You can get Shikamaru, or Chouji, or Kiba or even Shino, really but why him?"
"Because everyone is busy. Those people that you mentioned has missions of their own, or with their clans!"
Naruto let out a rebellious huff and crossed his arms, still uncooperative. Tsunade rubbed her temples. She is not in the mood of dealing with Naruto's bratiness today, and the manipulation technique is not working. Her eyes went to the Uchiha. Seems like she has no choice.
"This is your first time doing real missions, isn’t it, Sasuke?"
Naruto stiffened. Sasuke looked at the Godaime, chin up. "Aa."
"So, do you want Naruto to take away your first mission out of you?"
To her pleasure, it was Naruto who answered. "What do you mean Tsunade no Baachan??(Granny Tsunade?)" He glared warily.
"You see, me and the elders had discussed about Sasuke and missions and this is the condition that they had made. Since Sakura is conveniently unavailable, and because of the critical condition of your team. Sasuke being with you, the choice of the fourth teammate is going to be theirs. Being his first mission, this would also test if he is worthy enough to be called a Shinobi of Konoha again." She regarded Naruto coolly under her lashes. "Do you understand the importance of this mission, Naruto?"
Naruto swallowed thickly, the information swirling in his mind. He merely nodded. Everything is easy when it's all about Sasuke. Tsunade's corner of lips curved upward.
Blackmail no jutsu success.
Kakashi looked over the Hokage warily before looking at his student, masked with his usual bored expression and sighed behind his mask.
"You can go now." Godaime Hokage speaks in her commanding voice.
"Hai" All men said in unison and disappeared in a breeze.
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Again, Naruto found the air very tense now that Sai is with them, added to the fact there is an undeniable unseen friction between Sai and his boyfriend. He looked back and forth over the two. Aside from the tension that he is feeling he can't help but notice their looks.
/Yeah, Sasuke is Definately cuter. No. Come to think of it, Sasuke is actually pretty. /
He never got a good view till today. However it all ended up when Sasuke glared at him, noticing his stares. /Fine./ He pouted. /Just when I think that he's really cute he's going to be all bitchy and stuff./
He learned from day one that Sasuke could be cuddly and clingy and cutely adorable... well, in his own bastardly way, that is. Most of the time that guy doesn’t want to be caught by anybody displaying affections. He inwardly winced at a particular memory of how he learned the hard way. He snorted. Well, he always learned the hard way. He justcan’t help it.
Unfortunately for him, Sai noticed his staring before Sasuke reprimanded him.
"What are you looking at?" Sai turned to face Naruto.
Naruto immediately looked away, folded his arms above his head and walked ahead of them, hoping on cutting off the conversation.
Alas, Sai's mercy is from zero to none.
"How odd of you walking ahead of us. Do you really have to trust your back on a traitor?"
Tense, brief silence. Everybody, including the quiet Kakashi looked sideways on the addressed traitor.
However, Sasuke just kept silent and continue on with the traveling.
oOo
They have finished their mission clean and efficient, mostly because of the more than ever silent Sasuke. The other two is wary due to the aforementioned fact, save for the nonsensical constant blabber of Naruto. Sai just don’t plainly care, wearing that maddening smile perpetually plastered on his face. Even on a supremely unlikely event like butchering the enemy ninja into pieces, he never stopped smiling. It’s freaky. And it also never stopped Naruto from being bothered, despite the fact that he had teamed up with the Asshole for several missions already.
They left for home the next day. Konoha is just an hour ahead but Kakashi decided to stop for eat their lunch, reasoning out that there's no need of a rush to go home and they needed rest as well.
However, Sasuke and Naruto secretly suspected it that he was just killing time in order to arrive in all his lateness glory once more. Everybody has to keep up with their reputation, they surmised.
Sasuke is currently heating their tea on the bonfire he created when Kakashi jumped away to get more branches. Naruto is sent to fetch water sometime ago. Sasuke did not have to make an effort on ignoring Sai. He perfected that technique long ago.
How tense the air might be, he merely ignored it and basked on the silence. He observe how the tea heats up. Somehow, its calming him despite the tension around. He even briefly entertained the thought of putting poison or snake venom in Sai’s drink, out of pure bliss. But just when he is starting to enjoy the serenity of the place, Sai suddenly speaks up.
"They say that we look alike."
Sasuke just grunted, never taking his stare away from the bubbling green liquid.
"Funny thing is, even though Naruto could be idiotic as he can be, he never mix up our names or our faces."
Sasuke let the insult pass with a simple thinning of lips. He remembered the time when Naruto didn’t recognize Gaara through his altered appearance once in their first Chuunin exam. He inwardly shook his head. That is one very simple guy. But that’s one of the factors he loved about him, anyway.
"Of course he won't mistake us, why should he? He knows the difference VERY well" Sasuke replied blandly, emphasizing the word ‘very’.
Sai nodded, smiling. "Ah, yes. Who wouldn't mistake other person for his boyfriend? Though I'm quite surprised that you both ended up with each other. How ironic."
"I think it's none of your business what our preference are... Sai." Sasuke called Sai first time in his life with dripping acidity..
"Of course, of course. I'm just curious. What have you found in Naruto that is attractive?."
"There are things that meets more that the eye." A long-suffering sigh "And why are you curious? You interested on what is mine?" Dark eyes glared on the equally dark ones.
"It's not like that, Uchiha-san. Obviously, the guy has no talent as he has no balls" This time, Sasuke's eye twitched. Sai goes on. "And how do you deal with it anyway, him having a small penis and all..."
Black eyes swirled in red fiery Sharingan and Sai never finished his sentence.
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"Mmmmmnnnn you're so cute, pet" Naruto cooed as he snuggled his face in between the crook of Sasuke's neck.Sasuke sighed and shifted a bit on Naruto's lap, showering Naruto's face and neck with short kisses. "What happened to Sai, anyway? Kakashi-sensei had run ahead of us to rush Sai to the hospital and you're so full of ink when I returned. They say Danzou-bastard is really, really mad and demands an extension of your house arrest." Naruto scowled. "It’s not like you to loose temper like that. What did he say?"
Sasuke ignored him and continue what he is doing.
"Well, who wouldn’t get angry if his favorite boy toy is injured like that." Naruto had to bend his neck to look at Sasuke's face as he continues to caress the other boy’s hips. Unable to resist, he stuck his fingers inside Sasuke’s pants and touch whatever smooth skin is there, occasionally dipping lower to grab his bum every now and then.
"Oe, Sasuke. I'm talking to you" He squeezed Sasuke’s the left cheek of Sasuke’s ass in emphasis.
"He had to remove that stick up his ass" Came a reply. Naruto noticed that Sasuke’s kisses were more fiery and possessive than usual. What did Sai say to make him loose his cool like that? He looked at Sasuke whose head is currently on his chest kissing his way down and hands fumbling on his pants. He removed his hands when Sasuke continues lower. He looked curiously while Sasuke goes to his knees.
He barely heard what Sasuke whispered before the dark-haired boy took his length into his mouth.
In the middle of the haze of his mind, it sort of registed as "It's not small"
Sasuke bet on his snakes that those splinters would be a bitch to remove. And he also bet that Sakura would find an excuse not to cure the Asshole. He'll be limping for days.
Naruto groaned and pushed himself more on Sasuke. Sasuke smirked on a mouthful of Naruto.
Definately NOT small.
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Note: NOT a one-shot, mind you. This is going to have a part 2. I wont leave them hanging, dont worry. They'll have their sex soon enoughbecause I know you long to read those smutteh things Naruto and Sasuke does
announced in
naruxsasu