and the beats continue on...
- history is much like an endless waltz the three beats of war peace and revoltion continue on forever-
-Marimaya Krushenda
so uh yeah... ashley came over this weekend. I had this precognition that it would be awkward but it wasnt. On the contrary it was if we never broke up, we spoke and acted the same. Although the first initial kiss this weeknd was sort of a unique genuine rush, maybe because it had been so long. And then i got the feeling i had so long come accustomed too, i missed it so much and im glad i got to experience it again. The best part is of course, sleeping next to eachother, and she used me as a pillow, it was perfect. Tubing on the river sunday with her and my family. ALMOST DIED on the raging rapids of impending doom. but spiderman saved me hahaha. Poor ash though got sunburned, she got to stay the night again, but she was suffering from the sunburn. I felt really bad but i like to think i did a good job of keeping her mind off it, regardless i wouldve taken the pain for her, i hate when shes unhappy. Anyhow obviously this all is somewhat confusing but comforting because i feel like this is right, the way it always has been but at the same time i dont know if she shares the same thought process, we have been telling eachother we love eachother. On the topic, im starting to reconsider moving to florida( dont worry my florida friends, im still gonna at least visit as id o every year) but it would be very selfish of me leaving so much behind. My mom is the one im most worried about, i dont want her to suffer for my selfish ambitions. Obviously theres ashley too, i dont want to live with the regret knowing i turned my back on the one girl ive ever truly loved. It would also make my academic situation a whole lot more complex. so here is the percentage list of reasons to stay
mom=49 %
ashley=49 %
school= 2%
Perhaps i should priortize my school a little higher but i cant help the way i feel. On the otherhand, me and mikey have been through thick and thick together but perhaps this isnt enough to outeight the cons. Only time will tell, it all depends on my relationships with the two women in my life who mean more to me then anyone else ever will. I love them both enough to die for them, and i cant leave this behind.
-Marimaya Krushenda
so uh yeah... ashley came over this weekend. I had this precognition that it would be awkward but it wasnt. On the contrary it was if we never broke up, we spoke and acted the same. Although the first initial kiss this weeknd was sort of a unique genuine rush, maybe because it had been so long. And then i got the feeling i had so long come accustomed too, i missed it so much and im glad i got to experience it again. The best part is of course, sleeping next to eachother, and she used me as a pillow, it was perfect. Tubing on the river sunday with her and my family. ALMOST DIED on the raging rapids of impending doom. but spiderman saved me hahaha. Poor ash though got sunburned, she got to stay the night again, but she was suffering from the sunburn. I felt really bad but i like to think i did a good job of keeping her mind off it, regardless i wouldve taken the pain for her, i hate when shes unhappy. Anyhow obviously this all is somewhat confusing but comforting because i feel like this is right, the way it always has been but at the same time i dont know if she shares the same thought process, we have been telling eachother we love eachother. On the topic, im starting to reconsider moving to florida( dont worry my florida friends, im still gonna at least visit as id o every year) but it would be very selfish of me leaving so much behind. My mom is the one im most worried about, i dont want her to suffer for my selfish ambitions. Obviously theres ashley too, i dont want to live with the regret knowing i turned my back on the one girl ive ever truly loved. It would also make my academic situation a whole lot more complex. so here is the percentage list of reasons to stay
mom=49 %
ashley=49 %
school= 2%
Perhaps i should priortize my school a little higher but i cant help the way i feel. On the otherhand, me and mikey have been through thick and thick together but perhaps this isnt enough to outeight the cons. Only time will tell, it all depends on my relationships with the two women in my life who mean more to me then anyone else ever will. I love them both enough to die for them, and i cant leave this behind.