Exiting the rabbit hole
Once upon a time, in a land far away, Glasgow, Scotland to be exact, there was me, a new Art College student, going to the State Bar off Sauchiehall Street, where all the other art students and other people I knew went. One day I realized that I was a small, gray person that if I lay dead in a gutter, people would step over and not notice. They'd say, "Where's that little girl, the one with the long hair? Haven't seen her about in a long time," as they stepped over me.
So I decided to change that. And that night, dressed in my shortest mini skirt outfit, I went up to the best looking guy in the bar, who also happened to be over 6 feet tall, said "Hi!" brightly and was ignored. SO I stepped on top of his feet, to give me that extra height, you know, 'cos I AM only 5'3" tall, and reached up to drag him by the T shirt down to my face level. "Hi, I'm Lisanne, who are you?" I said this time.
We went out on a few dates, turned out he was a male model, but that's another story!
I swore I would never again be gray. Well, I was, for a good few years as my 2nd marriage went west. I had to dress in subdued colors and clothes to avoid being noticed around the house, or at all, by the ex, and it took me a good few years to get back my love of colored clothes. As my son put it, he can always tell me in a crowd by looking for the most colorful person! I like that. :)
Now I find I have gotten yet again to the almost invisible state through trying to still protect myself from this ex. No longer! Here I am, out of the private rabbit hole, and into the wide world, guys. As my son and friends have said, I should have nothing to worry about from the ex now. Though he did send me a seemingly innocuous message through Facebook on February 14th saying he thought we'd been introduced and wishing me Happy Valentine Day and Happy Belated Birthday. It wasn't, it was a day early. My birthday is 15th. Nothing he ever did was innocuous, it always came poisoned and barbed. It was like finding the cat had thrown up on my desk chair... so I deleted it, and Banned him.
I never really talk a lot about what I lost coming to the USA because I gained a great deal - sunshine and lack of SAD, mobility because of the lack of cold damp weather, and new friends as well as knowing older ones better. I also lost not being hounded every year by the Inland Revenue and Welfare for "anonymous" tips that I was committing fraud! THAT was a big factor in me leaving, believe me! Being investigated by both those bodies every year got very wearing.
But I did lose a lot too. My friends in British SF fandom were a huge loss. Just going to the conventions and knowing they would all be there, even if it was only twice a year, was so very precious. I find US fandom out here cold and unwelcoming by comparison. Having said that, I don't have the money to go to local meetings or events, maybe that will improve when I get this elusive job one day and can mix with them outside of cons.
Anyways, now I am out of the rabbit hole, making some Public posts like this one, and have even started up a Facebook page, and a Fan page.
I spent over an hour tonight trying to work out how to make the pages look more inviting, only to end up creating a duplicate page that I cannot delete! I REALLY hate Facebook, but it seems the way to go to pull in the readers so they actually know you are out there.
If anyone reading this knows how to set the pages up, please tell me!
Googling for help is no good as I get loads of stuff now too old to be of use, and putting the year in gets me all kinds of crap. Kai said a Fan Page is what I should have, not Facebook. I tried to add "friends" who were actually readers to the Fan Page and they are now on the Facebook one! Gnah! It is so unforgiving, I can see no way to delete things!
So next is a Twitter - is that the right word? - account but again, advice sought before I mess that up too!
So I decided to change that. And that night, dressed in my shortest mini skirt outfit, I went up to the best looking guy in the bar, who also happened to be over 6 feet tall, said "Hi!" brightly and was ignored. SO I stepped on top of his feet, to give me that extra height, you know, 'cos I AM only 5'3" tall, and reached up to drag him by the T shirt down to my face level. "Hi, I'm Lisanne, who are you?" I said this time.
We went out on a few dates, turned out he was a male model, but that's another story!
I swore I would never again be gray. Well, I was, for a good few years as my 2nd marriage went west. I had to dress in subdued colors and clothes to avoid being noticed around the house, or at all, by the ex, and it took me a good few years to get back my love of colored clothes. As my son put it, he can always tell me in a crowd by looking for the most colorful person! I like that. :)
Now I find I have gotten yet again to the almost invisible state through trying to still protect myself from this ex. No longer! Here I am, out of the private rabbit hole, and into the wide world, guys. As my son and friends have said, I should have nothing to worry about from the ex now. Though he did send me a seemingly innocuous message through Facebook on February 14th saying he thought we'd been introduced and wishing me Happy Valentine Day and Happy Belated Birthday. It wasn't, it was a day early. My birthday is 15th. Nothing he ever did was innocuous, it always came poisoned and barbed. It was like finding the cat had thrown up on my desk chair... so I deleted it, and Banned him.
I never really talk a lot about what I lost coming to the USA because I gained a great deal - sunshine and lack of SAD, mobility because of the lack of cold damp weather, and new friends as well as knowing older ones better. I also lost not being hounded every year by the Inland Revenue and Welfare for "anonymous" tips that I was committing fraud! THAT was a big factor in me leaving, believe me! Being investigated by both those bodies every year got very wearing.
But I did lose a lot too. My friends in British SF fandom were a huge loss. Just going to the conventions and knowing they would all be there, even if it was only twice a year, was so very precious. I find US fandom out here cold and unwelcoming by comparison. Having said that, I don't have the money to go to local meetings or events, maybe that will improve when I get this elusive job one day and can mix with them outside of cons.
Anyways, now I am out of the rabbit hole, making some Public posts like this one, and have even started up a Facebook page, and a Fan page.
I spent over an hour tonight trying to work out how to make the pages look more inviting, only to end up creating a duplicate page that I cannot delete! I REALLY hate Facebook, but it seems the way to go to pull in the readers so they actually know you are out there.
If anyone reading this knows how to set the pages up, please tell me!
Googling for help is no good as I get loads of stuff now too old to be of use, and putting the year in gets me all kinds of crap. Kai said a Fan Page is what I should have, not Facebook. I tried to add "friends" who were actually readers to the Fan Page and they are now on the Facebook one! Gnah! It is so unforgiving, I can see no way to delete things!
So next is a Twitter - is that the right word? - account but again, advice sought before I mess that up too!