Importunate and Impudent
Long-time readers will know that for some time now I've been fighting a slow and lonely battle with a so-called college and generally batshit neocon think tank in Michigan. I got onto their mailing list somehow, summer before last (it seems longer ago than that), and ever since then have been regularly receiving their simultaneously-laughable-and-sinister newsletter, along with smug, overly familiar letters from the institution's president chummily addressing me as "dear fellow friend of liberty" and such-like creepy nonsense. The latter items usually contain a request for money. I'm not sure about the former because I throw them away unopened; they don't even make it into the house, because there's a trash can on the porch for just this purpose.
Every time they send me something that includes a reply envelope, I send them back a letter, at first asking politely, and lately demanding with rather more asperity, though I haven't resorted to the profane arts yet, to be removed from their mailing list. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this hasn't happened, but I keep trying anyway.
Today I got their annual reader survey and decided to try again. It occurred to me as I was looking at the form - which includes their usual caliber of have-you-stopped-beating-your-wife question framing and self-congratulatory smuggery - that maybe I was being too subtle with my requests; after all, in each of my previous letters I only asked to be removed from their mailing list once or perhaps, in extremis, twice. Similarly, I might not have properly conveyed the full depth of my disinterest in their product. Inspired, I vowed to do a better job this time.
I have to say I'm particularly pleased with the envelope. On the one hand, I had to use one of my own stamps, but on the other, I just happened to have that one left in the book. I'm sure the message will sail straight over their heads, but still. I'm satisfied.
Every time they send me something that includes a reply envelope, I send them back a letter, at first asking politely, and lately demanding with rather more asperity, though I haven't resorted to the profane arts yet, to be removed from their mailing list. Perhaps unsurprisingly, this hasn't happened, but I keep trying anyway.
Today I got their annual reader survey and decided to try again. It occurred to me as I was looking at the form - which includes their usual caliber of have-you-stopped-beating-your-wife question framing and self-congratulatory smuggery - that maybe I was being too subtle with my requests; after all, in each of my previous letters I only asked to be removed from their mailing list once or perhaps, in extremis, twice. Similarly, I might not have properly conveyed the full depth of my disinterest in their product. Inspired, I vowed to do a better job this time.
I have to say I'm particularly pleased with the envelope. On the one hand, I had to use one of my own stamps, but on the other, I just happened to have that one left in the book. I'm sure the message will sail straight over their heads, but still. I'm satisfied.