Fic :: Priscilla :: Alice (1/2)
Fandom: Priscilla Queen of the Desert
Pairing: Adam/Tick
Word Count: ~17,800
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Based on the 2011 Broadway production. It differs a bit from the movie (both in tone and plot).
Summary: Adam was starting to think he must have been out of his mind when he agreed to stay in Alice Springs.
Alice
When Tick first told Adam about the show in Alice, three drinks into the night, Adam laughed and laughed.
“Funny, Mitz,” he said and slapped Tick on the back.
Tick wasn’t smiling, was hunched on his stool, back curled toward the bar, clutching his Long Island Tea.
“You should give up the puppets and start a real comedy act,” Adam tried again. He leaned in until his chin rested on Tick’s bare shoulder, thinking that Tick hadn’t heard him, though he was practically shouting over the noise in the pub.
Tick just shrugged, the rise and fall of his shoulders pathetic beneath Adam‘s chin.
“You are fucking joking, aren’t you?” Adam asked, suddenly less sure.
“No,” Tick said, without even an ounce of humour.
“Why?” Adam asked. Aghast, he leaned back away from Tick.
“There’s a show,” Tick repeated.
Adam wasn’t brain dead. Tick had a show here. A miserable show with an even more miserable audience that left Tick feeling miserable afterward about fifty percent of the time, but what could be so much better in Alice Springs of all places?
A show. That was no answer. There was a story here. Adam was going to hear it.
He spun on his stool, crossed his legs and leaned back, elbows propped on the edge of the bar.
“Well, that’s settled then.”
“What?”
“I’m coming with you,” Adam said.
“Really?” Tick asked.
“Really?” Adam repeated, his voice high and pathetic, mocking. “Oh, come off it, Mitzi. You’re not fooling anyone. Madonna. Ayer’s - wait, what the fuck are we calling it now?”
“Uluru.”
“Right.” He reached around Tick, turning Tick’s stool toward him before he continued. “You knew I’d want to go. You wouldn’t have told me if you weren’t hoping I’d come. Come on, fess up.”
Tick sighed heavily, pathetically, and then he turned to Adam and smiled. “I was hoping you’d want to come.”
“Always,” Adam sighed, wistful.
That did it. Tick broke and laughed. Finally. He swatted at Adam and then said, “I’m being serious here.”
“So am I,” Adam said.
“Listen, do you want to come with me or not?” Tick asked.
“I’ll come with you anytime you want, honey.”
“To Alice Springs,” Tick clarified, his tone dry now that he‘d drained the laughter out of it.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Adam grinned. “When do we leave?”
**
The question had been simple enough.
“Who’s the loser that runs this casino in the middle of nowhere?”
Tick repeated his answer a second time and Adam was still sure he’d misheard, though the words sounded the same.
And the words sounded an awful lot like, “My wife.”
And then Tick tried again, changed the words, and it all started to sink in.
“I’m married.”
Adam had expected Tick to say his mother, a cousin, an ex-boyfriend. His wife. It had to be a joke. Had to be, but Tick wasn’t laughing, wasn’t even looking at them now, was concentrating on a crease in his trousers instead.
It wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t a joke any more than it had been when Tick had first brought up the show in Alice and Adam had laughed it off. They stood there for a long moment, the three of them, just staring at each other, unsure what to do next. Tick’s face looked - he looked terrified, and that was it, Adam had to say something.
“What did you do on your wedding night?” he asked. “The best man?”
Tick’s face twisted and everything was moving again and then Adam was safe and alone and on the bus. Tick didn’t need Adam for this part. That’s what Bernadette was for. She’d always been better at this kind of thing. It was best just to get out of her way.
Adam’s only consolation here was that Bernadette seemed just as surprised by the news. Adam had only known Tick for a little over three years. Tick had been friends with Bernadette for more than five. Turned out that maybe neither of them really knew Tick all that well at all.
Frankly, now that Adam had the space to actually think, he was starting to realize that though it was thoroughly weird, it also explained a lot.
Married.
It finally, after all these years, explained why Tick had been completely oblivious to the fact that Adam had spent the first year of their friendship mercilessly flirting in an attempt to get his hands up Mitzi Mitosis’s skirt. It explained why, as far as Adam knew, Tick had had a few flings in the last couple of years, but never one confirmed relationship, despite the fact that Tick had always struck Adam as a long term relationship kind of girl.
Adam had spent months watching Tick perform back in the beginning, learning from him, dragging Tick to his own performances and asking for critiques. He’d flaunted other men in front of Tick in an attempt to make him jealous, plied him with alcohol, and eventually when all of his efforts failed to reward him with orgasms and instead brought him a real friend, he decided it was perhaps a relationship that wasn’t worth fucking with and gave up entirely.
And now here it was. That whole time. Married.
Later Adam watched Tick move around the bus, the familiar way that he shuffled and held his arms close to his chest to keep from knocking anything over. When Adam stood to get himself a drink - God, Adam needed a drink - Tick slapped his arse, hard, in a way that suggested that for Tick, nothing had changed now that the cat was out of the bag, now that they‘d all gotten over the initial shock of the news.
Even so, when Bernadette had wished them each good night and the bus was quiet and still, Adam noticed the way that Tick stared up at the ceiling, his mouth turned down in that same frown he’d been wearing since he’d first asked Adam if he wanted to come to Alice Springs.
Adam thought about going over there, climbing over Tick, making a big show of it in an attempt to get a smile instead of that same stupid overplayed frown. He stretched his arm out in front of him, turned his hand and extended his fingers, his head cocked as he started singing, quietly.
“You don’t need diamond rings or eighteen karat gold.”
Adam turned on his side, pointed toward Tick and continued, his voice just slightly above a whisper.
“You know they never last, no, no.”
He went on, louder now as he sat up, kicked his legs out, swung around and stood, continued the verse. Madonna knew her shit. What they needed, what Adam needed, was a big strong hand to lift him to a higher ground, make him feel like a queen on a throne. “Make him love you till you can’t come down.”
Bernadette groaned as Adam went into the chorus of ‘Express Yourself.‘ Adam flipped her off, his toes coming to rest on the edge of Tick’s bunk. Tick rolled his eyes, but when Adam held out his hand, Tick took it, allowing Adam to use Tick as leverage until he was up on the bunk, still singing and standing over Tick. He bent quick at the waist, leaning down toward Tick and finally getting that smile he’d been aiming for. He rolled his back and dropped, coming down to sit on Tick‘s thighs. Tick laughed now and sat up to push Adam off.
“Okay, Felicia” Tick said. “We all need our beauty sleep. That’s enough.”
Adam collapsed down beside Tick and laughed as Tick continued to slap at him. His words were no nonsense, but Tick’s demeanor was still playful. Adam fought back eventually, wrestling Tick and then finally letting Tick pin him against the wall.
Tick was laughing now too, breathing heavy, watching Adam close. Adam caught himself, his fingers pressed firm to Tick’s bare shoulder. Now that they were close he realized he was holding his breath. Realized that in his gut he was waiting, hoping that Tick might take some initiative for once in his life, lean in, kiss him. Adam was hard, just a little, and when Tick smiled, his eyes soft, Adam felt something lurch in his chest.
Shit, he thought. Fuck, shit, piss and fuck again.
This stupid fucking bus. This stupid fucking desert.
It’d only been a few days and already Adam was itching to get out there already, to dance and sing and fuck until he screamed.
Adam wasn‘t going to do any of those things. Not now. Instead he reached out, set a dramatic hand to Tick‘s chest, and said the truth, “I know we’re in the middle of nowhere, Mitz, but Jesus. It’s only been two days.”
“What?” Tick asked, blinking, surprised.
“Were you just going to kiss me?” Adam asked, pulling away, turning his head back too fast so that it knocked against a wooden molding.
“No,” Tick said, probably a little more defensive than he should be as he sat up.
“No?” Adam asked, eyes narrowed, offended. ‘”Why not? Am I too much woman for Miss Mitzi Mitosis to handle?”
“Oh, fuck off,” Tick countered and Adam shrugged, stood, and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Or maybe,” Adam said, turning back and raising his eyebrows. “I’m too much man.”
“Or maybe,” Bernadette started up, her voice grating, weary. “You’re too much of a little shit for anyone.”
Tick raised his eyebrows back at Adam now, mocking, and Adam threw himself onto his sleeping pad, his back to Tick.
“Good night, Bernice,” he said, his tone such that ‘Bernice’ could only be heard as ‘Ralph.’
“Good night, Adam,” Bernadette responded with measured civility.
“Good night,” Tick echoed.
The bus was quiet again for a moment and then Bernadette started up once more. Predictable. She always needed to have the last word.
“And girls, it’s just a wife,” she assured them, her voice ringing out in the dark. “A wife is hardly ever the end of the world.”
**
Just a wife. Ha! Oh, it’s hardly the end of the world, Bernice, until Tick springs his adorable secret son on you and you end up passing out on the floor of a casino in Alice Springs with your skirts all twisted up around your waist.
It just kept getting better.
Tick, his best friend, married with child.
Tick tried to make light of it all now, of course. He waved them off, made jokes, but he wasn’t fooling Adam, and if he wasn’t fooling Adam he certainly wasn’t fooling Bernadette. Tick was terrified that first night. Tick had been terrified for weeks.
Tick’s wife, Marion, as it turned out, had a knack for attracting weirdos (it explained a lot about her and Tick) and as a result her casino was full of all sorts and nothing seemed to phase young Benji, not even a father who spent many of his nights in a frock and heels.
Once this became obvious to everyone, once Tick saw that Benji could really know him, Tick had gone full circle, from terrified to optimistic. From optimistic to happy.
And then there was Adam. A little bruised, a little different than he’d been when they left Sydney. A little unfulfilled and itching for a fuck (that part was the same as when they’d left Sydney). And ignoring it all, because here he was. In Alice Springs. Babysitting.
“Are you going to stay here forever?“ Benji asked, closing his eyes as Adam brushed makeup just above his eyelids.
“Not forever,“ Adam said. Can you imagine?
“How come?“ Benji asked.
“Someday, Benji,” Adam said. “You’re going to grow up and when you do, you’re going to realize how scary Alice really is and how much we all must really love you to have stuck around here for so long already.”
“Alice isn’t scary,” Benji laughed. “And you’ve only been here three days!”
Adam shushed him and held his face still. “You’re going to smudge your eyebrows.”
“What are you two doing?“ Tick asked then, interrupting their conversation. He looked nervous and sounded suspicious, as though he’d just caught Adam signing Benji’s deal to work six nights a week on stage at the Cockatoo Club back in Sydney.
Adam rolled his eyes, opened his mouth to voice a retort.
“Adam’s turning me into a super hero!“ Benji exclaimed excitedly.
“Benji the Beautiful,“ Adam agreed.
“Nooo,“ Benji said. “Benji the Avenger!“
“Right, right,“ Adam conceded. “Benji the Avenger.“
“Will you help, Dad?“ Benji asked, looking hopefully at Tick. Adam thought that if Tick’s heart didn’t burst first, Adam’s might.
“Yeah,“ Tick said. “Yeah, of course I’ll help, Benj.“
He pulled his hands from the pockets of his trousers, reached for the brush that Adam held out to him.
“Come on, Mitz,“ Adam said, scooted over on his chair so that Tick could lean on the other half. Tick sat down and smiled at Adam, still a little unsure, but undeniably happy.
“Okay,“ Adam said, crossing his legs and leaning back. “Here’s what I’m envisioning for Benji the Avenger. I was thinking glitter and four-inch purple stilettos.“
“Noooo,” Benji shouted again, giggling from his perch on the table. “Roller blades!”
“Oh, all right,” Adam sighed dramatically. He nudged Tick with his shoulder. “Glitter and roller blades. You see what I’ve been dealing with over here? It‘s like a production of bloody Xanadu.”
“Looks like you’re doing a pretty great job to me,” Tick admitted.
Adam nudged Tick again, then handed him the tin of black grease paint. “You too.”
**
Benji had been telling Bernadette about Benji the Avenger for the last half hour. Bernadette listened carefully, nodding and smiling in all of the right places, eyebrows raised as though she’d never hear enough. It all looked pretty genuine from where Adam sat beside Tick, watching Bernadette in the reflection of his mirror as he pulled off his eyelashes.
“Bernice is loving this,” Adam noted. Then he turned to Tick and said, “Who are we kidding. You’re loving this.”
Tick finished wiping the lipstick from his mouth and then smiled and said, “I am.”
“Hell, even I’m loving this,” Adam admitted.
He said it mostly to get a reaction from Tick, the bright open grin directed right at him. Tick didn’t disappoint.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Tick said. “Both of you.”
“You could have told me, you know,” Adam said.
Tick snorted and turned back to his mirror, began pulling at Mitzi’s eyelashes.
“You don’t regret it then?” Tick asked. “Agreeing to come along?”
Adam watched the bob of Tick’s adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way that his knee bounced with nervous energy, his heel clicking a little against the floor. He thought of Coober Pedy and Tick’s face that night, how heartbroken the whole thing had left them all. Tick peeled the eyelashes off his right eye and then turned to see why Adam had fallen silent.
“You regret it?” Tick asked again. Adam could tell by his face that he was thinking of Coober Pedy too. Adam wanted to slide from his chair, climb over Tick, kiss Tick’s frowning mouth, a little red still from the lipstick that he’d just removed. Jesus, Felicia. Comforting Tick over something that hadn’t even happened to him. He was going to turn into Bernadette if he wasn’t careful.
Adam shook his head. “Nah,” he said, then leaned in closer. “Want me to let you in on a little secret?”
“What?” Tick asked, taking the bait.
“I’m so horny I’m ready to mount this table,” Adam admitted. It was mostly the truth.
“That‘s not a secret,” Tick said.
“No,” Adam agreed. “How about this then. I’m so horny that I’m jealous. Of Bernadette. If I don’t find a good fuck soon I’m going to - “
Tick laughed at that, then seemed to sober up as he said, “Just be careful, Felicia.”
“I’m always careful,” Adam said, brushing Tick off. There was too much Coober Pedy hanging around the room.
“How about you?” Adam asked, tried to get the focus off of himself.
“We can’t all be root rats like you,” Tick said, just as dismissive.
Adam pursed his lips together, took the hint and turned back to his own mirror. “I saw one of those bar boys the other day,” Adam said. “Looked just like your old boyfriend. You and Marion must have the same taste.”
“What old boyfriend?” Tick asked.
“You know, that one that would come into the Cockatoo, sit there right at edge of the stage and drool at the sight of your upper thighs in stockings.”
“That was you, dear,” Bernadette interrupted from across the room.
“Fuck off,” Adam countered, a reflex, then remembered that Benji was in the room. He turned then to find Benji standing right at his shoulder. “Oh, shit Mitz. Sorry.”
Tick rolled his eyes at Adam, then turned to smile at Benji as he said, “Always ignore Felicia, okay, Benji?”
“I can help, you know,” Benji said.
“Help what?”
“Find you boyfriends,” Benji offered.
Adam snorted, laughed, had to turn away.
“Do you need help finding a boyfriend?” Benji pressed. Tick’s mouth was hanging open, unsure how to respond. It seemed that during their conversation Tick had forgotten Benji was still in the room as well. Eventually Benji turned to Adam and said, “Do you need help?”
“I don’t think a boyfriend is what Felicia is after,” Bernadette said from across the room.
“A girlfriend?” Benji asked, confused now.
“No,” Tick said quickly. “Never mind.”
“I’m a big girl, Benji,” Adam assured him, trying to get things back on track before he started cursing in front of the kid again. “I can find someone on my own.”
“I know everyone in the casino,” Benji continued. “I could introduce you if you want.”
“All right,” Tick said, and finished wiping makeup from his cheek.
“What?” Adam and Bernadette asked at the same time.
“Oh, come on,” Tick said. “It’ll be fun, right Benj, finding a boyfriend for Felicia?”
“And you,” Benji corrected.
Tick leaned in toward Benji. “Let’s concentrate on Adam first, okay?”
Adam was pretty sure he saw Benji turn and roll his eyes at Bernadette in the reflection from her mirror. Tick should watch that. The last thing Tick (or well, Adam, mostly) needed was an unholy union forming between those two.
“What do you say?” Tick asked, and Adam realized it was directed at him now.
“You two run along,” Adam said, waved a hand to dismiss them. “I’ll manage on my own.”
“I know secret passages,” Benji offered.
“He knows secret passages,” Tick repeated for Adam.
Bernadette was staring at him through her mirror. When Adam caught her eye she raised her eyebrows and nodded. She thought they’d bonded. They had, she was right. But that didn’t mean Adam needed her giving him silent pushes in the right direction wherever they went. It was enough to make Adam want to continue his refusals right there. He opened his mouth to do just that, but before he could get the words out Tick put a hand on his knee and squeezed and Adam gave in instantly, sighed and said, “Oh, all right.”
He really needed to get back to civilization. Soon.
**
They sat at a table near one of the bars. Benji kneeled on his chair, leaned over the table and rested on his elbows as though he was letting them both in on some big casino conspiracy theory.
“That’s Janet,” Benji said and then pointed so obviously at poor Janet that the rest of Benji’s act became hilarious. “Janet always sings when it’s karaoke night but she’s not very good.”
Benji was still pointing and Janet was staring at them now. Tick lifted his hand and smiled, waved at Janet and then turned back to the table and tucked his hands between his knees.
“Oh, that’s Shep!” Benji said and pointed to the bartender. Shep waved and Benji waved back vigorously. Shep‘s dark hair was graying at the temples, his shirt tight across his broad chest. “Mum says Shep smiles and people give him money.”
Adam believed that. Shep’s dimples were as deep as canyons.
Tick turned to Adam, eyebrows raised. If Benji wasn’t there, Adam knew exactly what Tick would be saying. Shep could smile at him any day. Tick would offer more than money. That dog.
“Why don’t you introduce your Dad to Shep,” Adam suggested.
“Yeah?” Benji asked, twisting his little body on the table to look over at Tick.
“No,” Tick said and then coughed as though he‘d choked on the word. Once his coughing fit had ended he pointed at a young boy, older than Benji by a few years, who definitely looked like he knew his way around the place. “Who’s that? Is he one of the friends you told me about?”
“Oh,” Benji said. “That’s Kent. He’s the one that hid Buzby.”
“Who’s Buzby?” Adam asked.
“His stuffed dog,” Tick supplied.
“Did you find him?” Adam asked.
“No,” Benji sighed.
Tick looked up. “We found him yesterday.”
“Yeah,” Benji said. “But then Kent hid him again.”
“Maybe Benji should introduce us to Kent,” Adam offered, pressing his hands dramatically, cracking his knuckles.
Tick rolled his eyes at Adam, then his face fell, heartbroken, when Benji said, “It’s okay. Buzby’s just a stuffed toy. That stuff’s for babies.”
Tick rubbed a hand across Benji’s back and said, “Did you know that Adam still has a stuffed bear that he sleeps with at night?”
“I do not,” Adam scoffed.
“He doesn’t like to tell anyone,” Tick continued. “He’s afraid Bernadette will hide it on him.”
“What’s his name?” Benji asked.
“Her name,” Adam corrected. “Her name’s Ralph.”
Tick opened his mouth to shush Adam, then must have decided it wasn‘t worth it. Instead he said, “How about this, Benj. We’ll find Buzby and then we’ll hide him from Kent, okay? That way you‘ll always know where he is.”
Adam didn’t hear Benji’s response. Didn’t care about the stuffed dog anymore or Tick’s lies. A waiter had just entered the bar and all Adam cared about was getting his name and getting him back to his room.
“Okay, him,” Adam said then, touched Benji’s shoulder to get his attention. “I want to meet him.”
The waiter was tall, round tight rear end. His calves looked like he spent a lot of time on a his feet, running maybe, or on a bicycle. His hair was dark, the same color as Tick’s, and he had dimples to rival Shep’s. He looked rugged, butch, like he spent a lot of his free time outdoors, but the way he was interacting with the other waiters in the room suggested to Adam that he might just swing in Adam’s direction.
“That’s Felix,” Benji said. “Mum just hired him last month. He’s from Melbourne.”
“Introduce me,” Adam said. He stood and then grabbed Benji from the chair, picked him up and set him on the floor. “Introduce me.” He pointed at Tick. “Stay here.”
Benji took Adam’s hand in his and dragged him over to where Felix stood at the bar. He reached out and tugged at the edge of Felix’s shorts. When Felix turned and found Benji standing there, his face lit up and he said, “Heya, Benj!” and then he turned that smile on Adam.
If Adam hadn’t been prepared for it he would have swooned.
“This is Adam,” Benji said. “He’s my aunt. But not really.”
“Uncle,” Adam corrected, then scrunched up his face. “But not really.”
He held out a hand for Felix to shake and Felix took it in his palm, turned Adam’s hand, and kissed the back of it.
“I saw your show last night,” Felix admitted. “You were fantastic. Really great. You too.”
Adam turned, confused, and found Tick standing behind him, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders scrunched up around his neck. Tick smiled and said, “Thanks,” and when Felix dropped Adam’s hand and reached for Tick’s, Tick slid his hand from his pocket and shook it, firm and manly. No kisses for Mitzi, Adam noted.
“Tick was just going to take Benji to get some lunch,” Adam said.
“No, he -” Benji started, but Tick, bless him, clamped a hand over Benji’s mouth, laughed and said, “That’s right. We have a lunch date with your mother, remember? Say goodbye to Felix and Felicia.”
He didn’t remove his hand from Benji’s mouth, so Benji had no choice but to wave silently as Tick dragged him off.
“I actually have to get moving too,” Felix admitted. He held up the tray he was carrying, a couple empty glasses sitting in the center of it. “On the job and all that.”
“Right,” Adam said. “Right, of course. I - I was just on my way to talk to Shep over here, anyway. He’s the bartender.”
Felix laughed. “I know. So maybe I’ll see you around?”
“Oh,” Adam said with a smile and a wink. “You’ll definitely be seeing me around.”
**
Adam sat at a table and nursed his daiquiri. His eyes followed Felix around the room, laughing with patrons, shouting orders to Shep. Adam was being obvious, he knew, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t slept with Felix yet, so obvious was the order of the day. And Felix didn’t seem to mind. When he had a chance, he came over, smiled at Adam, asked how he was doing.
Doing well, thank you, now that you’re here.
“You’re always here,“ Benji observed, coming up to sit in the empty chair at Adam‘s table.
“You’re always here,” Adam countered, looking past Benji to stare at Felix‘s thighs as he bent to pick up a napkin an older woman had dropped. She‘d dropped it on purpose, Adam could tell. When Felix stood Adam turned his attention back to Benji, who was staring at him as though waiting for something.
He should talk with Tick about this. At Benji’s age, should he really be roaming around a casino alone? What kind of mother was Marion anyway?
“Where’s your mother?”
“Over there,” Benji said and pointed. Adam looked to see Marion peering at the shelves beneath the bar with Shep. Oh. “Where’s the rest of your shirt?”
Adam looked down at himself. Everyone loved this shirt. It hung perfectly from Adam’s shoulders, the missing slices of fabric affording glimpses of his well muscled chest. It was tasteful, no matter what Bernadette had said at breakfast.
“He was attacked by a dingo,” Felix said, coming up behind Adam so that he jumped.
Adam made a face. It was still nicer than what Bernadette had to say. He was somewhat consoled when Felix leaned in close to his ear and added, “Don’t worry, dingo attack looks good on you.” He stood upright again and reached out to knock Benji’s shoulder. “Hey kid,” he said. “What’s going on?”
“Hey,” Benji replied and smiled his stupid miniature Mitzi smile. When he turned toward Adam the smile slid into a grin. “I was going to see if Adam wanted to play a game with me?”
Adam narrowed his eyes. He was starting to get the feeling that they were already playing some sort of game.
“Ah,” Felix said. “Stealing Felicia away from me, I see? Well, you two have fun, okay?”
Adam smiled, waved him off, then downed the bottom of his daiquiri and leaned in toward Benji.
“Don’t you have any little friends to keep you busy?”
“You’re my friend.”
“I’m your father’s friend,” Adam corrected.
“Okay,” Benji said, and then frowned. “Sorry.”
Adam growled in frustration, knew he was being manipulated. He stood and reached for Benji’s hand, felt his heart soften a little as it slipped into his own.
“Let’s go,” he said. “You remind me more of Mitzi every day.”
“Thank you,” Benji said.
“Wasn’t meant to be a compliment, dear.”
**
It was a big casino. It was a big casino considering that this was Alice Springs, anyway. Despite that, Adam couldn’t seem to get a minute alone with Felix. He was beginning to think Felix was just a stupid nice guy, wasn’t actually interested at all. He was beginning to think this was going to turn into Tick all over again. As though Adam really needed another best friend. And when things seemed to be going well, suddenly he would appear. Benji the Avenger. All smiles and sunshine.
Adam was starting to suspect that Benji the Avenger had found his secret power. Adam was starting to suspect that Benji the Avenger could be more appropriately named.
Benji the Cold Shower.
“I think you should look into what Marion has done to your kid,” Adam said. “She’s had six years with him, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Tick asked, but he wasn’t really concerned, wasn’t even paying attention, was smiling too much to fool Adam into thinking he was taking anything that Adam had to say seriously.
Adam ignored Tick’s question. He had good reason - Felix had just started his shift, was already flirting with a young couple sitting by the door. When Felix looked up and caught Adam’s eye, Adam reacted on instinct, knew what he had to do. He grabbed Tick by the shoulders and kissed him.
Tick sat there stunned as Adam tried his hardest to make it appear that the kiss was mutual, and after a moment he released Tick, who leaned back against the bar, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
Would have been nice if he’d thought to do that during the kiss.
“What was that for?” Tick asked after a long moment of gaping.
“You see that waiter over there?” Adam asked pointing in Felix’s direction.
“Sure,” Tick said. “Felix. I remember.”
“I’m trying to figure out if he’s looking for a fuck.”
“Ah,” Tick said, grinning.
“Does he seem jealous to you?”
“Hard to say based on his back side.”
“It’s a pretty nice back side though, isn’t it?” Adam asked.
“Why don’t you just do what you normally do?”
“Ask him?”
“I meant more like stick your hand down his pants, push him onto the table and mount him.”
“I’ve tried,” Adam sighed. “Every time I’m about to bend him over, this meddling kid shows up and ruins the mood.”
“What meddling kid? That Kent?”
“Yours,” Adam says dryly.
Tick’s face immediately brightened as his mouth stretched into a dopey grin. “He’s so great, isn’t he?”
“Sure,” Adam agreed. Benji actually was pretty great. Tick wasn’t wrong there. “As long as you never plan to get fucked again.”
“Oh, come on,” Tick said. “He loves you. Crazy Aunt Felicia, isn’t that what you wanted?”
“What I want now is someone’s massive dick up my - he’s turning, kiss me.”
He grabbed Tick again, planted their mouths together and tried to keep his eyes on Felix. He was distracted by Tick, however, who was kissing him in the most awkward uncomfortable way imaginable. Tick had his lips pursed comically against Adam’s and was staring at him with eyes wide, eyebrows raised.
Adam almost laughed it was all so ridiculous, but he forced himself to hold back. Tick’s kid was the reason Adam hadn’t fucked anyone in weeks, first on the road, now here. If Benji was going to hinder, than Tick had fucking better help out.
“Jesus, Mitzi,” Adam said, pushed Tick away for a moment. “How’d you spawn a child if this is the first time you ever kissed someone?”
This seemed to annoy Tick just enough for Tick to actually try. He pulled Adam back in, hand wrapping around the back of Adam’s neck.
This time Tick actually kissed him, mouth demanding Adam’s attention so that Adam couldn’t focus on anything anymore except a sudden desire to be kissed by Tick, to kiss back. Tick’s hand was warm against his skin, and Adam reached up to touch the back of Tick’s palm. This seemed to encourage Tick and his kisses became more insistent until Adam was leaning into it, trying to get closer, greedily wanting more. Tick’s thumb brushed the hair at the back of Adam’s neck as his tongue slipped into Adam’s mouth, just once, just for a moment, but it was enough. Adam felt arousal curl through him and wished to hell they weren’t sitting in public at a bar. And then, just as quickly as it had started, Tick’s tongue was gone, then his mouth, then his hand.
Adam sat there stunned for a moment, his mouth hanging open just a little. Tick looked away, cleared his throat.
Finally, Adam managed to regain enough control to say, “Why did you stop?”
“Felix left,” Tick said.
Adam looked around the bar. He’d completely forgotten to keep an eye on Felix. “Did he look jealous?”
Tick was waving Shep over, two fingers in the air to indicate that they needed another round.
“Did he look jealous?” Adam asked again, fingers pulling at Tick’s shirt
“I don’t know,” Tick said. “I was busy.”
“Dammit, Mitz,” Adam cursed. “I need you to help me here.”
“I thought I was helping,” Tick said, grabbed his drink from Shep and took a huge gulp.
Adam rolled his eyes, thought briefly about ways that Tick might really be able to help. He opened his mouth, ready to suggest it, that if Tick could just help him scratch this itch, he’d - Oh, great.
When the hell had Bernadette arrived?
Bernadette was staring at him, mouth open across the room as though someone had just interrupted her in the midst of a blow job. Bob stood behind her, held her arm, and when he saw that Adam had noticed them he gave Adam the ‘thumbs up‘ gesture and began to wave him over.
“Here we go,” Adam said. Tick turned to see what had Adam suddenly abandoning him. He smiled when he saw Bernadette and Bob, waved, but stayed where he was, nice and close to Shep, leaving Adam to approach alone.
“Adam Whitely,” Bernadette said. “is there something you two would like to share?”
Adam crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, don’t go twisting your titties into knots. It isn’t what you think.”
Ten more days. Ten more days and they could fly back to Sydney and get out of this hell hole called Alice Springs. Ten more days and Adam’s life could go back to the way it was before Tick turned it completely upside down.
**
Felix was avoiding him. It was pretty clear. He seemed consistently overworked despite the fact that the casino was no busier than it had been a few days earlier. When he wasn’t working he seemed to completely disappear. Adam lamented this loudly in their dressing room every chance he found until finally Bernadette said, “Is this boy really worth all of this whinging?”
“I’m not whinging,” Adam said, defensive.
“Really?” Bernadette asked. “Oh, I just need to fuck. Oh, if I could just get Felix alone for ten seconds. Ten seconds, Adam? That‘s all it would take? Sad.”
Tick laughed and Adam said “Fuck off,” and turned back toward his table.
“I’m going down to that pub tomorrow,” Bernadette said. “I need to see this Felix for myself.”
Adam groaned. He groaned even louder when he walked into the bar the next day to find Bernadette, Bob, and Tick all huddled around a table. Adam rolled his eyes as he sat down in the last empty chair.
“So that‘s him,” Bernadette said as they watched Felix bustle about. He glanced over toward Adam and waved, then made an apologetic face, so swamped, sorry, no time.
“So what do you think?” Adam asked, because the opinions would come anyway, it was unavoidable.
“He’s attractive,” Bernadette said with a shrug.
“He looks like Tick,” Bob concluded.
Adam must have looked horrified because Tick’s response was an offended shove.
“Thank you, Bob. I wish I looked like that guy,” Tick said, then turned to Adam. “I think you’re right though. He’s avoiding you.”
“Really?” Adam said. “What gave you that impression?”
“No need for sarcasm,” Bernadette said. “It’s a misunderstanding. He thinks you and Tick are a couple.”
“Why would he think that?” Adam asked.
“Probably because of how you were kissing me the other day,” Tick offered.
“How I was kissing you?“ Adam asked. Then shook his head, dismissive. “He doesn’t think we’re a couple.”
“Why else would he be avoiding you?” Bob asked. “Do you think he’s straight?”
“He’s no more straight than Tick over here - oh wait.”
Tick slapped him a little harder than was necessary.
“No,” Adam said. “I don’t think he’s straight.”
“So then he thinks we’re a couple,” Tick concluded. “You know that jealousy thing always backfires. I don’t know why you keep trying it.”
“Okay,” Adam sighed. “Maybe he thinks we’re a couple.”
“Well, that’s easy then,” Bob said jovially as he slapped Adam’s back. “Not too difficult to clear up at all.”
**
Adam only had to bide his time. Eventually Felix would slip up and Adam would catch him and everything would be back on track. Until that happened Adam felt just a little bit like a stalker, but it was worth it when he finally did catch Felix, pulled him aside and said, “Where have you been hiding?”
“I didn’t want to overstep,” Felix said, ducking his head and smiling. Shit, he was fucking adorable.
Of course Bernadette had to be right. Of course. “Tick and I aren’t together.”
“I saw you kissing him,” Felix said, doubtful, as though Adam might be lying and trying to cheat on his boyfriend with a waiter who looked nothing like him except in hair colour.
“I was trying to make you jealous. Did it work?”
“Yes,” Felix admitted.
“Good.” He made a mental note to inform Tick that sometimes the jealous thing did actually work.
Adam thought it over. Felix was lingering, didn’t seem to be in a rush to run off, and if Adam didn’t try this now who knew if he’d have another chance? He’d be headed back to Sydney with nothing to remember Alice Springs by (well, not nothing, obviously, but a good fuck never hurt).
“Come on,” Adam said and reached out to grab Felix’s hand.
“Where are we going?” Felix laughed, but he didn’t resist, followed Adam when Adam pulled.
“I know a couple secret passages in this place. Want to check them out?”
“Secret passages, eh?” Felix asked.
“Let me show you my secret passages,” Adam joked, and it was crude and stupid, but Felix laughed.
He stopped in front of the doorway that Benji had shown him, grinned at Felix and then pushed it open and pulled Felix inside. The hallway was dark and empty just as Adam expected.
“This isn’t a secret passage,” Felix started. “It’s the back hallway between - “
“Shh,” Adam said, slapped a hand over Felix‘s mouth. “Don’t give away the secret.”
Felix rolled his eyes and then kissed Adam’s palm. That was more than enough of a hint for Adam. He removed his hand and replaced it with his mouth. It was about fucking time he thought and pushed at Felix’s shirt, his fingers fumbling with the buttons. Felix pushed his tongue into Adam’s mouth as his hands pushed at Adam’s shoulders, backing them up until Adam hit a table that had been pushed against the wall, sat on the edge of it.
He wasn’t wasting any time, had the front of Felix’s jeans open, his hand inside. Felix groaned, low and encouraging. Adam was about to slide off the table, get on his knees for Felix when he heard a noise and paused.
“What?” Felix asked, his voice breathy.
The doorknob to the hallway rattled.
“Shit,” Adam said. “Shit, get dressed.” The last thing he needed was to be caught like this. It could be anyone. It could be Benji.
“I’ll check the secret passage,” Adam heard Tick say as the door clicked open, light slipping into the hallway, and if he had Benji with him Adam might really die now. Felix had his jeans zipped up at least, but his shirt was still mostly undone.
“This isn’t a secret passage,” Marion’s voice came next.
Felix seemed shocked by the fear in Adam’s earlier tone, probably thought that Marion would fire him. Marion wasn’t the type to fire anyone for having a little fun in a storage cupboard. Marion was the type to laugh and make crude jokes. She’d probably walk away, leave them to it, tell everyone that Adam had ever met what she’d seen. Marion wasn’t why Adam was rushing to pull himself back together.
Adam was just starting to formulate a plan. This was a hallway right? It went somewhere. They could just slip out the other side. But there was no time to put the plan into action before the lights in the hallway clicked on and Tick was standing there gaping at them.
Tick looked frozen for a moment, long enough for Felix to say, “I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend!”
“He’s not,” Adam said.
And then Marion pushed her way around Tick, slapped his arm, and then said, “Well, well. No Buzby, but this is almost just as good.”
“I’m sorry,” Felix was saying to Tick, and for Christ’s sake, this was going to scare him off for good if Tick didn’t fix it.
“No,” Tick said, finally snapping out of it. He laughed now, though it sounded a little manic. “No, we’re sorry. We’re looking - It’s Benji’s - “ He trailed off, then threw up his hands in surrender before letting them flop back down at his sides.
Adam looked around the hall to confirm that there were no toys lying around. There actually was one on the table behind him though and he huffed as he grabbed it and pushed it into Tick’s hand. “Here,” he said.
Instead of just taking the toy and leaving, Tick stared at it stupidly and then said, “This is a hippo.”
“I don’t even think that’s Benji’s,” Marion agreed, but she took the hippo from Tick anyway. “Alright, you two. You can get your jollies when Felix is off the clock. Break’s over. Back to work.”
Felix was still apologizing and he finished buttoning his shirt, then turned to Adam, his smile embarrassed as he rushed off.
“Adam,” Marion said, reaching out to link her arm with Adam’s. “Why don’t you join the search party?”
“Of course, Marion,” Adam said. “Searching for a lost toy was exactly the activity I had in mind this afternoon.”
Tick snorted and pushed at his shoulder.
“This casino is driving me crazy,” Adam muttered.
“Oh,” Marion laughed. “You’ll fit right in then. Didn’t Tick tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Adam asked, turning toward Tick.
Tick grinned, then leaned in close to Adam’s ear. “We’re all mad here.”
**
Adam didn’t manage to catch up with Felix again until the following morning, and then only for a few moments when he wasn’t needed by other patrons. Turned out that Felix hadn’t been scared off completely and he agreed to meet up with Adam after his shift, which happened to fit in perfectly with the few hours that Adam had free between their two shows.
In the meantime, Adam was wasting time hanging about in Benji’s room.
Adam had agreed to a board game, and Benji was busy setting up the board, something about a kookaburra. As Benji sorted the game pieces and explained the directions to Adam, Adam nodded and hummed in the appropriate spots, only sort of paying attention until Benji decided to abruptly change the subject. Probably as a test to see if Adam was listening.
“What?” Adam asked.
“Still no boyfriend?” Benji repeated.
“No,” Adam said and made a face.
“You’re not very good at this,” Benji observed.
“And you are?” Adam said, he sat up and peered down at the game board now, finally ready to concentrate on the game. It would be better than this.
“Sure,” Benji said and handed Adam a game piece shaped like a kangaroo. “I think so.”
Adam didn’t want to be having this conversation. It was bad enough having it the first time and at least then Tick was there.
“Maybe I’ll just date your daddy,” Adam suggested. “How would you like that?”
“Really?” Benji asked, his face lighting up.
No, no, no. That wasn’t at all the reaction he’d been looking for. Back up.
“Really Adam?” Benji asked again. “That would be perfect.”
“No, it wouldn’t be perfect,” Adam said. “It would be far from perfect and forget I ever said it okay? Now how do I play this game?”
**
Still no boyfriend?
We’ll see about that, Benji, Adam thought as he leaned Felix back on his bed, kissed down his chest. Felix’s hands were at Felicia’s shoulders, then her neck, then the wig, fingers catching in auburn curls. Adam had pinned it well and he felt the pins pull a little on Felix’s fingers, but everything stayed in place.
Adam’s hands settled delicately over the bulge in Felix’s jeans. “You’ll have to remind me,” he said, looking up at Felix through thick eyelashes. “Was this where we left off?”
Felix grunted, laughed, and said, “Yeah, I think that was it.”
His hips moved a little beneath Adam’s hand, pushing up against the denim barrier between them. Felix’s mouth was red with Felicia’s lipstick, and Adam climbed back up his body to kiss him again, his hand lingering over Felix’s cock, teasing him through layers of clothing.
Adam’s heart was pounding a little in his ears so when the knocking first started Adam was able to ignore it, pretty sure it was all in his head anyway.
Eventually Felix broke the kiss and said, “Do you think you should get that?”
Adam paused, listened, and the knocking started again.
“They’ll leave,” Adam said. It wasn’t important. Everyone important to Adam at this moment was already in the room.
They didn’t leave. The knocking came a third time.
“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” Adam groaned. “Go away!”
Someone on the other side called back. It was Tick.
Of course. Again.
“The casino better be on fire,“ Adam grumbled as he stood and adjusted his dress before he crossed the room and threw open the door. “What?”
“I need your help with something,” Tick said. He looked Adam up and down. Adam guessed what he saw. The flush of Felicia’s cheeks, her makeup smudged, the spot on her shoulder where Felix had scraped his teeth, the erection tenting the front of her frock.
“Oh,” Tick said. His face was red and he moved to cover it with his hands, then shook them and pressed them back down at his sides. He peaked past Adam, waved to Felix, then hissed, “Why did you answer the door?! You should have just told me to fuck off.”
“I did tell you to fuck off,” Adam said, made another attempt to straighten himself. “What is it?”
“It’s not important,” Tick said. “You go back to doing - “ the flurry of waving hands returned - “What you were doing.”
Before Adam could insist that Tick just tell him why he was there, Tick was escaping down the hall, pausing just once to grin at Adam, eyebrows raised, hopeful and congratulatory.
“Where were we?” Adam asked once the door was shut again behind him.
Felix looked Felicia up and down and then shrugged, nonchalant about the whole thing, suddenly. That would have to be changed.
Adam crawled back over him, his hands working at Felix’s belt as he resumed their kisses. He was distracted now though. He kissed Felix and caught himself wondering what Tick had needed him for. It was probably something completely Tick, something completely unimportant. He kissed Felix again, tried to concentrate on lips and tongue. It worked for a moment until Adam caught himself remembering the kiss at the bar, caught himself making comparisons now.
It wasn’t that Felix was a bad kisser, not by any stretch. He had a perfectly talented mouth and an ass that was made to have Adam’s hands gripping it, skin that tasted perfect against Adam’s tongue. Tick sat there frozen when Adam first kissed him at the bar, probably wouldn’t have any idea what to do with Adam at all. But Adam remembered the way that Tick’s kiss had teased, the soft hint of tongue right before Tick had pulled away.
He could get off with Felix now. He could get off with Felix and think about Tick. It had been years, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d done this.
“I need your help,” Tick had said. I need you.
Fuck, this was the very last thing that Adam needed right now. He broke away from Felix, untangled himself, and Felix seemed to know immediately.
“It’s Tick, isn‘t it,” Felix said.
“No,” Adam said. “Yes. I have to - he has the worst timing of anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah,” Felix laughed, looked away.
“Rain check?” Adam asked.
“Why bother?” Felix said. “We already know how it’ll end.”
“After the show tonight,” Adam offered. “You can finally get a glimpse of what Felicia Jollygoodfellow has hidden under her skirt.”
“I don’t think so,” Felix said.
Adam could pursue this now, could change his mind and could tell that Felix would still be up for it. He could get fucked, good and thorough. It was what he’d been wanting for the last month. Or he could help Tick with something that even Tick admitted was unimportant, something that would never lead to what Adam was really after. If Adam was smart, he’d choose Felix right now.
Adam wasn’t that smart. He reached out and set a hand on Felix’s shoulder. Felix nodded.
“If things don’t work out with Tick,” Felix said. “You know where to find me.”
Part 2
Pairing: Adam/Tick
Word Count: ~17,800
Rating: NC-17
Notes: Based on the 2011 Broadway production. It differs a bit from the movie (both in tone and plot).
Summary: Adam was starting to think he must have been out of his mind when he agreed to stay in Alice Springs.
Alice
When Tick first told Adam about the show in Alice, three drinks into the night, Adam laughed and laughed.
“Funny, Mitz,” he said and slapped Tick on the back.
Tick wasn’t smiling, was hunched on his stool, back curled toward the bar, clutching his Long Island Tea.
“You should give up the puppets and start a real comedy act,” Adam tried again. He leaned in until his chin rested on Tick’s bare shoulder, thinking that Tick hadn’t heard him, though he was practically shouting over the noise in the pub.
Tick just shrugged, the rise and fall of his shoulders pathetic beneath Adam‘s chin.
“You are fucking joking, aren’t you?” Adam asked, suddenly less sure.
“No,” Tick said, without even an ounce of humour.
“Why?” Adam asked. Aghast, he leaned back away from Tick.
“There’s a show,” Tick repeated.
Adam wasn’t brain dead. Tick had a show here. A miserable show with an even more miserable audience that left Tick feeling miserable afterward about fifty percent of the time, but what could be so much better in Alice Springs of all places?
A show. That was no answer. There was a story here. Adam was going to hear it.
He spun on his stool, crossed his legs and leaned back, elbows propped on the edge of the bar.
“Well, that’s settled then.”
“What?”
“I’m coming with you,” Adam said.
“Really?” Tick asked.
“Really?” Adam repeated, his voice high and pathetic, mocking. “Oh, come off it, Mitzi. You’re not fooling anyone. Madonna. Ayer’s - wait, what the fuck are we calling it now?”
“Uluru.”
“Right.” He reached around Tick, turning Tick’s stool toward him before he continued. “You knew I’d want to go. You wouldn’t have told me if you weren’t hoping I’d come. Come on, fess up.”
Tick sighed heavily, pathetically, and then he turned to Adam and smiled. “I was hoping you’d want to come.”
“Always,” Adam sighed, wistful.
That did it. Tick broke and laughed. Finally. He swatted at Adam and then said, “I’m being serious here.”
“So am I,” Adam said.
“Listen, do you want to come with me or not?” Tick asked.
“I’ll come with you anytime you want, honey.”
“To Alice Springs,” Tick clarified, his tone dry now that he‘d drained the laughter out of it.
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Adam grinned. “When do we leave?”
**
The question had been simple enough.
“Who’s the loser that runs this casino in the middle of nowhere?”
Tick repeated his answer a second time and Adam was still sure he’d misheard, though the words sounded the same.
And the words sounded an awful lot like, “My wife.”
And then Tick tried again, changed the words, and it all started to sink in.
“I’m married.”
Adam had expected Tick to say his mother, a cousin, an ex-boyfriend. His wife. It had to be a joke. Had to be, but Tick wasn’t laughing, wasn’t even looking at them now, was concentrating on a crease in his trousers instead.
It wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t a joke any more than it had been when Tick had first brought up the show in Alice and Adam had laughed it off. They stood there for a long moment, the three of them, just staring at each other, unsure what to do next. Tick’s face looked - he looked terrified, and that was it, Adam had to say something.
“What did you do on your wedding night?” he asked. “The best man?”
Tick’s face twisted and everything was moving again and then Adam was safe and alone and on the bus. Tick didn’t need Adam for this part. That’s what Bernadette was for. She’d always been better at this kind of thing. It was best just to get out of her way.
Adam’s only consolation here was that Bernadette seemed just as surprised by the news. Adam had only known Tick for a little over three years. Tick had been friends with Bernadette for more than five. Turned out that maybe neither of them really knew Tick all that well at all.
Frankly, now that Adam had the space to actually think, he was starting to realize that though it was thoroughly weird, it also explained a lot.
Married.
It finally, after all these years, explained why Tick had been completely oblivious to the fact that Adam had spent the first year of their friendship mercilessly flirting in an attempt to get his hands up Mitzi Mitosis’s skirt. It explained why, as far as Adam knew, Tick had had a few flings in the last couple of years, but never one confirmed relationship, despite the fact that Tick had always struck Adam as a long term relationship kind of girl.
Adam had spent months watching Tick perform back in the beginning, learning from him, dragging Tick to his own performances and asking for critiques. He’d flaunted other men in front of Tick in an attempt to make him jealous, plied him with alcohol, and eventually when all of his efforts failed to reward him with orgasms and instead brought him a real friend, he decided it was perhaps a relationship that wasn’t worth fucking with and gave up entirely.
And now here it was. That whole time. Married.
Later Adam watched Tick move around the bus, the familiar way that he shuffled and held his arms close to his chest to keep from knocking anything over. When Adam stood to get himself a drink - God, Adam needed a drink - Tick slapped his arse, hard, in a way that suggested that for Tick, nothing had changed now that the cat was out of the bag, now that they‘d all gotten over the initial shock of the news.
Even so, when Bernadette had wished them each good night and the bus was quiet and still, Adam noticed the way that Tick stared up at the ceiling, his mouth turned down in that same frown he’d been wearing since he’d first asked Adam if he wanted to come to Alice Springs.
Adam thought about going over there, climbing over Tick, making a big show of it in an attempt to get a smile instead of that same stupid overplayed frown. He stretched his arm out in front of him, turned his hand and extended his fingers, his head cocked as he started singing, quietly.
“You don’t need diamond rings or eighteen karat gold.”
Adam turned on his side, pointed toward Tick and continued, his voice just slightly above a whisper.
“You know they never last, no, no.”
He went on, louder now as he sat up, kicked his legs out, swung around and stood, continued the verse. Madonna knew her shit. What they needed, what Adam needed, was a big strong hand to lift him to a higher ground, make him feel like a queen on a throne. “Make him love you till you can’t come down.”
Bernadette groaned as Adam went into the chorus of ‘Express Yourself.‘ Adam flipped her off, his toes coming to rest on the edge of Tick’s bunk. Tick rolled his eyes, but when Adam held out his hand, Tick took it, allowing Adam to use Tick as leverage until he was up on the bunk, still singing and standing over Tick. He bent quick at the waist, leaning down toward Tick and finally getting that smile he’d been aiming for. He rolled his back and dropped, coming down to sit on Tick‘s thighs. Tick laughed now and sat up to push Adam off.
“Okay, Felicia” Tick said. “We all need our beauty sleep. That’s enough.”
Adam collapsed down beside Tick and laughed as Tick continued to slap at him. His words were no nonsense, but Tick’s demeanor was still playful. Adam fought back eventually, wrestling Tick and then finally letting Tick pin him against the wall.
Tick was laughing now too, breathing heavy, watching Adam close. Adam caught himself, his fingers pressed firm to Tick’s bare shoulder. Now that they were close he realized he was holding his breath. Realized that in his gut he was waiting, hoping that Tick might take some initiative for once in his life, lean in, kiss him. Adam was hard, just a little, and when Tick smiled, his eyes soft, Adam felt something lurch in his chest.
Shit, he thought. Fuck, shit, piss and fuck again.
This stupid fucking bus. This stupid fucking desert.
It’d only been a few days and already Adam was itching to get out there already, to dance and sing and fuck until he screamed.
Adam wasn‘t going to do any of those things. Not now. Instead he reached out, set a dramatic hand to Tick‘s chest, and said the truth, “I know we’re in the middle of nowhere, Mitz, but Jesus. It’s only been two days.”
“What?” Tick asked, blinking, surprised.
“Were you just going to kiss me?” Adam asked, pulling away, turning his head back too fast so that it knocked against a wooden molding.
“No,” Tick said, probably a little more defensive than he should be as he sat up.
“No?” Adam asked, eyes narrowed, offended. ‘”Why not? Am I too much woman for Miss Mitzi Mitosis to handle?”
“Oh, fuck off,” Tick countered and Adam shrugged, stood, and crossed his arms over his chest.
“Or maybe,” Adam said, turning back and raising his eyebrows. “I’m too much man.”
“Or maybe,” Bernadette started up, her voice grating, weary. “You’re too much of a little shit for anyone.”
Tick raised his eyebrows back at Adam now, mocking, and Adam threw himself onto his sleeping pad, his back to Tick.
“Good night, Bernice,” he said, his tone such that ‘Bernice’ could only be heard as ‘Ralph.’
“Good night, Adam,” Bernadette responded with measured civility.
“Good night,” Tick echoed.
The bus was quiet again for a moment and then Bernadette started up once more. Predictable. She always needed to have the last word.
“And girls, it’s just a wife,” she assured them, her voice ringing out in the dark. “A wife is hardly ever the end of the world.”
**
Just a wife. Ha! Oh, it’s hardly the end of the world, Bernice, until Tick springs his adorable secret son on you and you end up passing out on the floor of a casino in Alice Springs with your skirts all twisted up around your waist.
It just kept getting better.
Tick, his best friend, married with child.
Tick tried to make light of it all now, of course. He waved them off, made jokes, but he wasn’t fooling Adam, and if he wasn’t fooling Adam he certainly wasn’t fooling Bernadette. Tick was terrified that first night. Tick had been terrified for weeks.
Tick’s wife, Marion, as it turned out, had a knack for attracting weirdos (it explained a lot about her and Tick) and as a result her casino was full of all sorts and nothing seemed to phase young Benji, not even a father who spent many of his nights in a frock and heels.
Once this became obvious to everyone, once Tick saw that Benji could really know him, Tick had gone full circle, from terrified to optimistic. From optimistic to happy.
And then there was Adam. A little bruised, a little different than he’d been when they left Sydney. A little unfulfilled and itching for a fuck (that part was the same as when they’d left Sydney). And ignoring it all, because here he was. In Alice Springs. Babysitting.
“Are you going to stay here forever?“ Benji asked, closing his eyes as Adam brushed makeup just above his eyelids.
“Not forever,“ Adam said. Can you imagine?
“How come?“ Benji asked.
“Someday, Benji,” Adam said. “You’re going to grow up and when you do, you’re going to realize how scary Alice really is and how much we all must really love you to have stuck around here for so long already.”
“Alice isn’t scary,” Benji laughed. “And you’ve only been here three days!”
Adam shushed him and held his face still. “You’re going to smudge your eyebrows.”
“What are you two doing?“ Tick asked then, interrupting their conversation. He looked nervous and sounded suspicious, as though he’d just caught Adam signing Benji’s deal to work six nights a week on stage at the Cockatoo Club back in Sydney.
Adam rolled his eyes, opened his mouth to voice a retort.
“Adam’s turning me into a super hero!“ Benji exclaimed excitedly.
“Benji the Beautiful,“ Adam agreed.
“Nooo,“ Benji said. “Benji the Avenger!“
“Right, right,“ Adam conceded. “Benji the Avenger.“
“Will you help, Dad?“ Benji asked, looking hopefully at Tick. Adam thought that if Tick’s heart didn’t burst first, Adam’s might.
“Yeah,“ Tick said. “Yeah, of course I’ll help, Benj.“
He pulled his hands from the pockets of his trousers, reached for the brush that Adam held out to him.
“Come on, Mitz,“ Adam said, scooted over on his chair so that Tick could lean on the other half. Tick sat down and smiled at Adam, still a little unsure, but undeniably happy.
“Okay,“ Adam said, crossing his legs and leaning back. “Here’s what I’m envisioning for Benji the Avenger. I was thinking glitter and four-inch purple stilettos.“
“Noooo,” Benji shouted again, giggling from his perch on the table. “Roller blades!”
“Oh, all right,” Adam sighed dramatically. He nudged Tick with his shoulder. “Glitter and roller blades. You see what I’ve been dealing with over here? It‘s like a production of bloody Xanadu.”
“Looks like you’re doing a pretty great job to me,” Tick admitted.
Adam nudged Tick again, then handed him the tin of black grease paint. “You too.”
**
Benji had been telling Bernadette about Benji the Avenger for the last half hour. Bernadette listened carefully, nodding and smiling in all of the right places, eyebrows raised as though she’d never hear enough. It all looked pretty genuine from where Adam sat beside Tick, watching Bernadette in the reflection of his mirror as he pulled off his eyelashes.
“Bernice is loving this,” Adam noted. Then he turned to Tick and said, “Who are we kidding. You’re loving this.”
Tick finished wiping the lipstick from his mouth and then smiled and said, “I am.”
“Hell, even I’m loving this,” Adam admitted.
He said it mostly to get a reaction from Tick, the bright open grin directed right at him. Tick didn’t disappoint.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Tick said. “Both of you.”
“You could have told me, you know,” Adam said.
Tick snorted and turned back to his mirror, began pulling at Mitzi’s eyelashes.
“You don’t regret it then?” Tick asked. “Agreeing to come along?”
Adam watched the bob of Tick’s adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way that his knee bounced with nervous energy, his heel clicking a little against the floor. He thought of Coober Pedy and Tick’s face that night, how heartbroken the whole thing had left them all. Tick peeled the eyelashes off his right eye and then turned to see why Adam had fallen silent.
“You regret it?” Tick asked again. Adam could tell by his face that he was thinking of Coober Pedy too. Adam wanted to slide from his chair, climb over Tick, kiss Tick’s frowning mouth, a little red still from the lipstick that he’d just removed. Jesus, Felicia. Comforting Tick over something that hadn’t even happened to him. He was going to turn into Bernadette if he wasn’t careful.
Adam shook his head. “Nah,” he said, then leaned in closer. “Want me to let you in on a little secret?”
“What?” Tick asked, taking the bait.
“I’m so horny I’m ready to mount this table,” Adam admitted. It was mostly the truth.
“That‘s not a secret,” Tick said.
“No,” Adam agreed. “How about this then. I’m so horny that I’m jealous. Of Bernadette. If I don’t find a good fuck soon I’m going to - “
Tick laughed at that, then seemed to sober up as he said, “Just be careful, Felicia.”
“I’m always careful,” Adam said, brushing Tick off. There was too much Coober Pedy hanging around the room.
“How about you?” Adam asked, tried to get the focus off of himself.
“We can’t all be root rats like you,” Tick said, just as dismissive.
Adam pursed his lips together, took the hint and turned back to his own mirror. “I saw one of those bar boys the other day,” Adam said. “Looked just like your old boyfriend. You and Marion must have the same taste.”
“What old boyfriend?” Tick asked.
“You know, that one that would come into the Cockatoo, sit there right at edge of the stage and drool at the sight of your upper thighs in stockings.”
“That was you, dear,” Bernadette interrupted from across the room.
“Fuck off,” Adam countered, a reflex, then remembered that Benji was in the room. He turned then to find Benji standing right at his shoulder. “Oh, shit Mitz. Sorry.”
Tick rolled his eyes at Adam, then turned to smile at Benji as he said, “Always ignore Felicia, okay, Benji?”
“I can help, you know,” Benji said.
“Help what?”
“Find you boyfriends,” Benji offered.
Adam snorted, laughed, had to turn away.
“Do you need help finding a boyfriend?” Benji pressed. Tick’s mouth was hanging open, unsure how to respond. It seemed that during their conversation Tick had forgotten Benji was still in the room as well. Eventually Benji turned to Adam and said, “Do you need help?”
“I don’t think a boyfriend is what Felicia is after,” Bernadette said from across the room.
“A girlfriend?” Benji asked, confused now.
“No,” Tick said quickly. “Never mind.”
“I’m a big girl, Benji,” Adam assured him, trying to get things back on track before he started cursing in front of the kid again. “I can find someone on my own.”
“I know everyone in the casino,” Benji continued. “I could introduce you if you want.”
“All right,” Tick said, and finished wiping makeup from his cheek.
“What?” Adam and Bernadette asked at the same time.
“Oh, come on,” Tick said. “It’ll be fun, right Benj, finding a boyfriend for Felicia?”
“And you,” Benji corrected.
Tick leaned in toward Benji. “Let’s concentrate on Adam first, okay?”
Adam was pretty sure he saw Benji turn and roll his eyes at Bernadette in the reflection from her mirror. Tick should watch that. The last thing Tick (or well, Adam, mostly) needed was an unholy union forming between those two.
“What do you say?” Tick asked, and Adam realized it was directed at him now.
“You two run along,” Adam said, waved a hand to dismiss them. “I’ll manage on my own.”
“I know secret passages,” Benji offered.
“He knows secret passages,” Tick repeated for Adam.
Bernadette was staring at him through her mirror. When Adam caught her eye she raised her eyebrows and nodded. She thought they’d bonded. They had, she was right. But that didn’t mean Adam needed her giving him silent pushes in the right direction wherever they went. It was enough to make Adam want to continue his refusals right there. He opened his mouth to do just that, but before he could get the words out Tick put a hand on his knee and squeezed and Adam gave in instantly, sighed and said, “Oh, all right.”
He really needed to get back to civilization. Soon.
**
They sat at a table near one of the bars. Benji kneeled on his chair, leaned over the table and rested on his elbows as though he was letting them both in on some big casino conspiracy theory.
“That’s Janet,” Benji said and then pointed so obviously at poor Janet that the rest of Benji’s act became hilarious. “Janet always sings when it’s karaoke night but she’s not very good.”
Benji was still pointing and Janet was staring at them now. Tick lifted his hand and smiled, waved at Janet and then turned back to the table and tucked his hands between his knees.
“Oh, that’s Shep!” Benji said and pointed to the bartender. Shep waved and Benji waved back vigorously. Shep‘s dark hair was graying at the temples, his shirt tight across his broad chest. “Mum says Shep smiles and people give him money.”
Adam believed that. Shep’s dimples were as deep as canyons.
Tick turned to Adam, eyebrows raised. If Benji wasn’t there, Adam knew exactly what Tick would be saying. Shep could smile at him any day. Tick would offer more than money. That dog.
“Why don’t you introduce your Dad to Shep,” Adam suggested.
“Yeah?” Benji asked, twisting his little body on the table to look over at Tick.
“No,” Tick said and then coughed as though he‘d choked on the word. Once his coughing fit had ended he pointed at a young boy, older than Benji by a few years, who definitely looked like he knew his way around the place. “Who’s that? Is he one of the friends you told me about?”
“Oh,” Benji said. “That’s Kent. He’s the one that hid Buzby.”
“Who’s Buzby?” Adam asked.
“His stuffed dog,” Tick supplied.
“Did you find him?” Adam asked.
“No,” Benji sighed.
Tick looked up. “We found him yesterday.”
“Yeah,” Benji said. “But then Kent hid him again.”
“Maybe Benji should introduce us to Kent,” Adam offered, pressing his hands dramatically, cracking his knuckles.
Tick rolled his eyes at Adam, then his face fell, heartbroken, when Benji said, “It’s okay. Buzby’s just a stuffed toy. That stuff’s for babies.”
Tick rubbed a hand across Benji’s back and said, “Did you know that Adam still has a stuffed bear that he sleeps with at night?”
“I do not,” Adam scoffed.
“He doesn’t like to tell anyone,” Tick continued. “He’s afraid Bernadette will hide it on him.”
“What’s his name?” Benji asked.
“Her name,” Adam corrected. “Her name’s Ralph.”
Tick opened his mouth to shush Adam, then must have decided it wasn‘t worth it. Instead he said, “How about this, Benj. We’ll find Buzby and then we’ll hide him from Kent, okay? That way you‘ll always know where he is.”
Adam didn’t hear Benji’s response. Didn’t care about the stuffed dog anymore or Tick’s lies. A waiter had just entered the bar and all Adam cared about was getting his name and getting him back to his room.
“Okay, him,” Adam said then, touched Benji’s shoulder to get his attention. “I want to meet him.”
The waiter was tall, round tight rear end. His calves looked like he spent a lot of time on a his feet, running maybe, or on a bicycle. His hair was dark, the same color as Tick’s, and he had dimples to rival Shep’s. He looked rugged, butch, like he spent a lot of his free time outdoors, but the way he was interacting with the other waiters in the room suggested to Adam that he might just swing in Adam’s direction.
“That’s Felix,” Benji said. “Mum just hired him last month. He’s from Melbourne.”
“Introduce me,” Adam said. He stood and then grabbed Benji from the chair, picked him up and set him on the floor. “Introduce me.” He pointed at Tick. “Stay here.”
Benji took Adam’s hand in his and dragged him over to where Felix stood at the bar. He reached out and tugged at the edge of Felix’s shorts. When Felix turned and found Benji standing there, his face lit up and he said, “Heya, Benj!” and then he turned that smile on Adam.
If Adam hadn’t been prepared for it he would have swooned.
“This is Adam,” Benji said. “He’s my aunt. But not really.”
“Uncle,” Adam corrected, then scrunched up his face. “But not really.”
He held out a hand for Felix to shake and Felix took it in his palm, turned Adam’s hand, and kissed the back of it.
“I saw your show last night,” Felix admitted. “You were fantastic. Really great. You too.”
Adam turned, confused, and found Tick standing behind him, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders scrunched up around his neck. Tick smiled and said, “Thanks,” and when Felix dropped Adam’s hand and reached for Tick’s, Tick slid his hand from his pocket and shook it, firm and manly. No kisses for Mitzi, Adam noted.
“Tick was just going to take Benji to get some lunch,” Adam said.
“No, he -” Benji started, but Tick, bless him, clamped a hand over Benji’s mouth, laughed and said, “That’s right. We have a lunch date with your mother, remember? Say goodbye to Felix and Felicia.”
He didn’t remove his hand from Benji’s mouth, so Benji had no choice but to wave silently as Tick dragged him off.
“I actually have to get moving too,” Felix admitted. He held up the tray he was carrying, a couple empty glasses sitting in the center of it. “On the job and all that.”
“Right,” Adam said. “Right, of course. I - I was just on my way to talk to Shep over here, anyway. He’s the bartender.”
Felix laughed. “I know. So maybe I’ll see you around?”
“Oh,” Adam said with a smile and a wink. “You’ll definitely be seeing me around.”
**
Adam sat at a table and nursed his daiquiri. His eyes followed Felix around the room, laughing with patrons, shouting orders to Shep. Adam was being obvious, he knew, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t slept with Felix yet, so obvious was the order of the day. And Felix didn’t seem to mind. When he had a chance, he came over, smiled at Adam, asked how he was doing.
Doing well, thank you, now that you’re here.
“You’re always here,“ Benji observed, coming up to sit in the empty chair at Adam‘s table.
“You’re always here,” Adam countered, looking past Benji to stare at Felix‘s thighs as he bent to pick up a napkin an older woman had dropped. She‘d dropped it on purpose, Adam could tell. When Felix stood Adam turned his attention back to Benji, who was staring at him as though waiting for something.
He should talk with Tick about this. At Benji’s age, should he really be roaming around a casino alone? What kind of mother was Marion anyway?
“Where’s your mother?”
“Over there,” Benji said and pointed. Adam looked to see Marion peering at the shelves beneath the bar with Shep. Oh. “Where’s the rest of your shirt?”
Adam looked down at himself. Everyone loved this shirt. It hung perfectly from Adam’s shoulders, the missing slices of fabric affording glimpses of his well muscled chest. It was tasteful, no matter what Bernadette had said at breakfast.
“He was attacked by a dingo,” Felix said, coming up behind Adam so that he jumped.
Adam made a face. It was still nicer than what Bernadette had to say. He was somewhat consoled when Felix leaned in close to his ear and added, “Don’t worry, dingo attack looks good on you.” He stood upright again and reached out to knock Benji’s shoulder. “Hey kid,” he said. “What’s going on?”
“Hey,” Benji replied and smiled his stupid miniature Mitzi smile. When he turned toward Adam the smile slid into a grin. “I was going to see if Adam wanted to play a game with me?”
Adam narrowed his eyes. He was starting to get the feeling that they were already playing some sort of game.
“Ah,” Felix said. “Stealing Felicia away from me, I see? Well, you two have fun, okay?”
Adam smiled, waved him off, then downed the bottom of his daiquiri and leaned in toward Benji.
“Don’t you have any little friends to keep you busy?”
“You’re my friend.”
“I’m your father’s friend,” Adam corrected.
“Okay,” Benji said, and then frowned. “Sorry.”
Adam growled in frustration, knew he was being manipulated. He stood and reached for Benji’s hand, felt his heart soften a little as it slipped into his own.
“Let’s go,” he said. “You remind me more of Mitzi every day.”
“Thank you,” Benji said.
“Wasn’t meant to be a compliment, dear.”
**
It was a big casino. It was a big casino considering that this was Alice Springs, anyway. Despite that, Adam couldn’t seem to get a minute alone with Felix. He was beginning to think Felix was just a stupid nice guy, wasn’t actually interested at all. He was beginning to think this was going to turn into Tick all over again. As though Adam really needed another best friend. And when things seemed to be going well, suddenly he would appear. Benji the Avenger. All smiles and sunshine.
Adam was starting to suspect that Benji the Avenger had found his secret power. Adam was starting to suspect that Benji the Avenger could be more appropriately named.
Benji the Cold Shower.
“I think you should look into what Marion has done to your kid,” Adam said. “She’s had six years with him, you know.”
“What do you mean?” Tick asked, but he wasn’t really concerned, wasn’t even paying attention, was smiling too much to fool Adam into thinking he was taking anything that Adam had to say seriously.
Adam ignored Tick’s question. He had good reason - Felix had just started his shift, was already flirting with a young couple sitting by the door. When Felix looked up and caught Adam’s eye, Adam reacted on instinct, knew what he had to do. He grabbed Tick by the shoulders and kissed him.
Tick sat there stunned as Adam tried his hardest to make it appear that the kiss was mutual, and after a moment he released Tick, who leaned back against the bar, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.
Would have been nice if he’d thought to do that during the kiss.
“What was that for?” Tick asked after a long moment of gaping.
“You see that waiter over there?” Adam asked pointing in Felix’s direction.
“Sure,” Tick said. “Felix. I remember.”
“I’m trying to figure out if he’s looking for a fuck.”
“Ah,” Tick said, grinning.
“Does he seem jealous to you?”
“Hard to say based on his back side.”
“It’s a pretty nice back side though, isn’t it?” Adam asked.
“Why don’t you just do what you normally do?”
“Ask him?”
“I meant more like stick your hand down his pants, push him onto the table and mount him.”
“I’ve tried,” Adam sighed. “Every time I’m about to bend him over, this meddling kid shows up and ruins the mood.”
“What meddling kid? That Kent?”
“Yours,” Adam says dryly.
Tick’s face immediately brightened as his mouth stretched into a dopey grin. “He’s so great, isn’t he?”
“Sure,” Adam agreed. Benji actually was pretty great. Tick wasn’t wrong there. “As long as you never plan to get fucked again.”
“Oh, come on,” Tick said. “He loves you. Crazy Aunt Felicia, isn’t that what you wanted?”
“What I want now is someone’s massive dick up my - he’s turning, kiss me.”
He grabbed Tick again, planted their mouths together and tried to keep his eyes on Felix. He was distracted by Tick, however, who was kissing him in the most awkward uncomfortable way imaginable. Tick had his lips pursed comically against Adam’s and was staring at him with eyes wide, eyebrows raised.
Adam almost laughed it was all so ridiculous, but he forced himself to hold back. Tick’s kid was the reason Adam hadn’t fucked anyone in weeks, first on the road, now here. If Benji was going to hinder, than Tick had fucking better help out.
“Jesus, Mitzi,” Adam said, pushed Tick away for a moment. “How’d you spawn a child if this is the first time you ever kissed someone?”
This seemed to annoy Tick just enough for Tick to actually try. He pulled Adam back in, hand wrapping around the back of Adam’s neck.
This time Tick actually kissed him, mouth demanding Adam’s attention so that Adam couldn’t focus on anything anymore except a sudden desire to be kissed by Tick, to kiss back. Tick’s hand was warm against his skin, and Adam reached up to touch the back of Tick’s palm. This seemed to encourage Tick and his kisses became more insistent until Adam was leaning into it, trying to get closer, greedily wanting more. Tick’s thumb brushed the hair at the back of Adam’s neck as his tongue slipped into Adam’s mouth, just once, just for a moment, but it was enough. Adam felt arousal curl through him and wished to hell they weren’t sitting in public at a bar. And then, just as quickly as it had started, Tick’s tongue was gone, then his mouth, then his hand.
Adam sat there stunned for a moment, his mouth hanging open just a little. Tick looked away, cleared his throat.
Finally, Adam managed to regain enough control to say, “Why did you stop?”
“Felix left,” Tick said.
Adam looked around the bar. He’d completely forgotten to keep an eye on Felix. “Did he look jealous?”
Tick was waving Shep over, two fingers in the air to indicate that they needed another round.
“Did he look jealous?” Adam asked again, fingers pulling at Tick’s shirt
“I don’t know,” Tick said. “I was busy.”
“Dammit, Mitz,” Adam cursed. “I need you to help me here.”
“I thought I was helping,” Tick said, grabbed his drink from Shep and took a huge gulp.
Adam rolled his eyes, thought briefly about ways that Tick might really be able to help. He opened his mouth, ready to suggest it, that if Tick could just help him scratch this itch, he’d - Oh, great.
When the hell had Bernadette arrived?
Bernadette was staring at him, mouth open across the room as though someone had just interrupted her in the midst of a blow job. Bob stood behind her, held her arm, and when he saw that Adam had noticed them he gave Adam the ‘thumbs up‘ gesture and began to wave him over.
“Here we go,” Adam said. Tick turned to see what had Adam suddenly abandoning him. He smiled when he saw Bernadette and Bob, waved, but stayed where he was, nice and close to Shep, leaving Adam to approach alone.
“Adam Whitely,” Bernadette said. “is there something you two would like to share?”
Adam crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, don’t go twisting your titties into knots. It isn’t what you think.”
Ten more days. Ten more days and they could fly back to Sydney and get out of this hell hole called Alice Springs. Ten more days and Adam’s life could go back to the way it was before Tick turned it completely upside down.
**
Felix was avoiding him. It was pretty clear. He seemed consistently overworked despite the fact that the casino was no busier than it had been a few days earlier. When he wasn’t working he seemed to completely disappear. Adam lamented this loudly in their dressing room every chance he found until finally Bernadette said, “Is this boy really worth all of this whinging?”
“I’m not whinging,” Adam said, defensive.
“Really?” Bernadette asked. “Oh, I just need to fuck. Oh, if I could just get Felix alone for ten seconds. Ten seconds, Adam? That‘s all it would take? Sad.”
Tick laughed and Adam said “Fuck off,” and turned back toward his table.
“I’m going down to that pub tomorrow,” Bernadette said. “I need to see this Felix for myself.”
Adam groaned. He groaned even louder when he walked into the bar the next day to find Bernadette, Bob, and Tick all huddled around a table. Adam rolled his eyes as he sat down in the last empty chair.
“So that‘s him,” Bernadette said as they watched Felix bustle about. He glanced over toward Adam and waved, then made an apologetic face, so swamped, sorry, no time.
“So what do you think?” Adam asked, because the opinions would come anyway, it was unavoidable.
“He’s attractive,” Bernadette said with a shrug.
“He looks like Tick,” Bob concluded.
Adam must have looked horrified because Tick’s response was an offended shove.
“Thank you, Bob. I wish I looked like that guy,” Tick said, then turned to Adam. “I think you’re right though. He’s avoiding you.”
“Really?” Adam said. “What gave you that impression?”
“No need for sarcasm,” Bernadette said. “It’s a misunderstanding. He thinks you and Tick are a couple.”
“Why would he think that?” Adam asked.
“Probably because of how you were kissing me the other day,” Tick offered.
“How I was kissing you?“ Adam asked. Then shook his head, dismissive. “He doesn’t think we’re a couple.”
“Why else would he be avoiding you?” Bob asked. “Do you think he’s straight?”
“He’s no more straight than Tick over here - oh wait.”
Tick slapped him a little harder than was necessary.
“No,” Adam said. “I don’t think he’s straight.”
“So then he thinks we’re a couple,” Tick concluded. “You know that jealousy thing always backfires. I don’t know why you keep trying it.”
“Okay,” Adam sighed. “Maybe he thinks we’re a couple.”
“Well, that’s easy then,” Bob said jovially as he slapped Adam’s back. “Not too difficult to clear up at all.”
**
Adam only had to bide his time. Eventually Felix would slip up and Adam would catch him and everything would be back on track. Until that happened Adam felt just a little bit like a stalker, but it was worth it when he finally did catch Felix, pulled him aside and said, “Where have you been hiding?”
“I didn’t want to overstep,” Felix said, ducking his head and smiling. Shit, he was fucking adorable.
Of course Bernadette had to be right. Of course. “Tick and I aren’t together.”
“I saw you kissing him,” Felix said, doubtful, as though Adam might be lying and trying to cheat on his boyfriend with a waiter who looked nothing like him except in hair colour.
“I was trying to make you jealous. Did it work?”
“Yes,” Felix admitted.
“Good.” He made a mental note to inform Tick that sometimes the jealous thing did actually work.
Adam thought it over. Felix was lingering, didn’t seem to be in a rush to run off, and if Adam didn’t try this now who knew if he’d have another chance? He’d be headed back to Sydney with nothing to remember Alice Springs by (well, not nothing, obviously, but a good fuck never hurt).
“Come on,” Adam said and reached out to grab Felix’s hand.
“Where are we going?” Felix laughed, but he didn’t resist, followed Adam when Adam pulled.
“I know a couple secret passages in this place. Want to check them out?”
“Secret passages, eh?” Felix asked.
“Let me show you my secret passages,” Adam joked, and it was crude and stupid, but Felix laughed.
He stopped in front of the doorway that Benji had shown him, grinned at Felix and then pushed it open and pulled Felix inside. The hallway was dark and empty just as Adam expected.
“This isn’t a secret passage,” Felix started. “It’s the back hallway between - “
“Shh,” Adam said, slapped a hand over Felix‘s mouth. “Don’t give away the secret.”
Felix rolled his eyes and then kissed Adam’s palm. That was more than enough of a hint for Adam. He removed his hand and replaced it with his mouth. It was about fucking time he thought and pushed at Felix’s shirt, his fingers fumbling with the buttons. Felix pushed his tongue into Adam’s mouth as his hands pushed at Adam’s shoulders, backing them up until Adam hit a table that had been pushed against the wall, sat on the edge of it.
He wasn’t wasting any time, had the front of Felix’s jeans open, his hand inside. Felix groaned, low and encouraging. Adam was about to slide off the table, get on his knees for Felix when he heard a noise and paused.
“What?” Felix asked, his voice breathy.
The doorknob to the hallway rattled.
“Shit,” Adam said. “Shit, get dressed.” The last thing he needed was to be caught like this. It could be anyone. It could be Benji.
“I’ll check the secret passage,” Adam heard Tick say as the door clicked open, light slipping into the hallway, and if he had Benji with him Adam might really die now. Felix had his jeans zipped up at least, but his shirt was still mostly undone.
“This isn’t a secret passage,” Marion’s voice came next.
Felix seemed shocked by the fear in Adam’s earlier tone, probably thought that Marion would fire him. Marion wasn’t the type to fire anyone for having a little fun in a storage cupboard. Marion was the type to laugh and make crude jokes. She’d probably walk away, leave them to it, tell everyone that Adam had ever met what she’d seen. Marion wasn’t why Adam was rushing to pull himself back together.
Adam was just starting to formulate a plan. This was a hallway right? It went somewhere. They could just slip out the other side. But there was no time to put the plan into action before the lights in the hallway clicked on and Tick was standing there gaping at them.
Tick looked frozen for a moment, long enough for Felix to say, “I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend!”
“He’s not,” Adam said.
And then Marion pushed her way around Tick, slapped his arm, and then said, “Well, well. No Buzby, but this is almost just as good.”
“I’m sorry,” Felix was saying to Tick, and for Christ’s sake, this was going to scare him off for good if Tick didn’t fix it.
“No,” Tick said, finally snapping out of it. He laughed now, though it sounded a little manic. “No, we’re sorry. We’re looking - It’s Benji’s - “ He trailed off, then threw up his hands in surrender before letting them flop back down at his sides.
Adam looked around the hall to confirm that there were no toys lying around. There actually was one on the table behind him though and he huffed as he grabbed it and pushed it into Tick’s hand. “Here,” he said.
Instead of just taking the toy and leaving, Tick stared at it stupidly and then said, “This is a hippo.”
“I don’t even think that’s Benji’s,” Marion agreed, but she took the hippo from Tick anyway. “Alright, you two. You can get your jollies when Felix is off the clock. Break’s over. Back to work.”
Felix was still apologizing and he finished buttoning his shirt, then turned to Adam, his smile embarrassed as he rushed off.
“Adam,” Marion said, reaching out to link her arm with Adam’s. “Why don’t you join the search party?”
“Of course, Marion,” Adam said. “Searching for a lost toy was exactly the activity I had in mind this afternoon.”
Tick snorted and pushed at his shoulder.
“This casino is driving me crazy,” Adam muttered.
“Oh,” Marion laughed. “You’ll fit right in then. Didn’t Tick tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Adam asked, turning toward Tick.
Tick grinned, then leaned in close to Adam’s ear. “We’re all mad here.”
**
Adam didn’t manage to catch up with Felix again until the following morning, and then only for a few moments when he wasn’t needed by other patrons. Turned out that Felix hadn’t been scared off completely and he agreed to meet up with Adam after his shift, which happened to fit in perfectly with the few hours that Adam had free between their two shows.
In the meantime, Adam was wasting time hanging about in Benji’s room.
Adam had agreed to a board game, and Benji was busy setting up the board, something about a kookaburra. As Benji sorted the game pieces and explained the directions to Adam, Adam nodded and hummed in the appropriate spots, only sort of paying attention until Benji decided to abruptly change the subject. Probably as a test to see if Adam was listening.
“What?” Adam asked.
“Still no boyfriend?” Benji repeated.
“No,” Adam said and made a face.
“You’re not very good at this,” Benji observed.
“And you are?” Adam said, he sat up and peered down at the game board now, finally ready to concentrate on the game. It would be better than this.
“Sure,” Benji said and handed Adam a game piece shaped like a kangaroo. “I think so.”
Adam didn’t want to be having this conversation. It was bad enough having it the first time and at least then Tick was there.
“Maybe I’ll just date your daddy,” Adam suggested. “How would you like that?”
“Really?” Benji asked, his face lighting up.
No, no, no. That wasn’t at all the reaction he’d been looking for. Back up.
“Really Adam?” Benji asked again. “That would be perfect.”
“No, it wouldn’t be perfect,” Adam said. “It would be far from perfect and forget I ever said it okay? Now how do I play this game?”
**
Still no boyfriend?
We’ll see about that, Benji, Adam thought as he leaned Felix back on his bed, kissed down his chest. Felix’s hands were at Felicia’s shoulders, then her neck, then the wig, fingers catching in auburn curls. Adam had pinned it well and he felt the pins pull a little on Felix’s fingers, but everything stayed in place.
Adam’s hands settled delicately over the bulge in Felix’s jeans. “You’ll have to remind me,” he said, looking up at Felix through thick eyelashes. “Was this where we left off?”
Felix grunted, laughed, and said, “Yeah, I think that was it.”
His hips moved a little beneath Adam’s hand, pushing up against the denim barrier between them. Felix’s mouth was red with Felicia’s lipstick, and Adam climbed back up his body to kiss him again, his hand lingering over Felix’s cock, teasing him through layers of clothing.
Adam’s heart was pounding a little in his ears so when the knocking first started Adam was able to ignore it, pretty sure it was all in his head anyway.
Eventually Felix broke the kiss and said, “Do you think you should get that?”
Adam paused, listened, and the knocking started again.
“They’ll leave,” Adam said. It wasn’t important. Everyone important to Adam at this moment was already in the room.
They didn’t leave. The knocking came a third time.
“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” Adam groaned. “Go away!”
Someone on the other side called back. It was Tick.
Of course. Again.
“The casino better be on fire,“ Adam grumbled as he stood and adjusted his dress before he crossed the room and threw open the door. “What?”
“I need your help with something,” Tick said. He looked Adam up and down. Adam guessed what he saw. The flush of Felicia’s cheeks, her makeup smudged, the spot on her shoulder where Felix had scraped his teeth, the erection tenting the front of her frock.
“Oh,” Tick said. His face was red and he moved to cover it with his hands, then shook them and pressed them back down at his sides. He peaked past Adam, waved to Felix, then hissed, “Why did you answer the door?! You should have just told me to fuck off.”
“I did tell you to fuck off,” Adam said, made another attempt to straighten himself. “What is it?”
“It’s not important,” Tick said. “You go back to doing - “ the flurry of waving hands returned - “What you were doing.”
Before Adam could insist that Tick just tell him why he was there, Tick was escaping down the hall, pausing just once to grin at Adam, eyebrows raised, hopeful and congratulatory.
“Where were we?” Adam asked once the door was shut again behind him.
Felix looked Felicia up and down and then shrugged, nonchalant about the whole thing, suddenly. That would have to be changed.
Adam crawled back over him, his hands working at Felix’s belt as he resumed their kisses. He was distracted now though. He kissed Felix and caught himself wondering what Tick had needed him for. It was probably something completely Tick, something completely unimportant. He kissed Felix again, tried to concentrate on lips and tongue. It worked for a moment until Adam caught himself remembering the kiss at the bar, caught himself making comparisons now.
It wasn’t that Felix was a bad kisser, not by any stretch. He had a perfectly talented mouth and an ass that was made to have Adam’s hands gripping it, skin that tasted perfect against Adam’s tongue. Tick sat there frozen when Adam first kissed him at the bar, probably wouldn’t have any idea what to do with Adam at all. But Adam remembered the way that Tick’s kiss had teased, the soft hint of tongue right before Tick had pulled away.
He could get off with Felix now. He could get off with Felix and think about Tick. It had been years, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d done this.
“I need your help,” Tick had said. I need you.
Fuck, this was the very last thing that Adam needed right now. He broke away from Felix, untangled himself, and Felix seemed to know immediately.
“It’s Tick, isn‘t it,” Felix said.
“No,” Adam said. “Yes. I have to - he has the worst timing of anyone I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah,” Felix laughed, looked away.
“Rain check?” Adam asked.
“Why bother?” Felix said. “We already know how it’ll end.”
“After the show tonight,” Adam offered. “You can finally get a glimpse of what Felicia Jollygoodfellow has hidden under her skirt.”
“I don’t think so,” Felix said.
Adam could pursue this now, could change his mind and could tell that Felix would still be up for it. He could get fucked, good and thorough. It was what he’d been wanting for the last month. Or he could help Tick with something that even Tick admitted was unimportant, something that would never lead to what Adam was really after. If Adam was smart, he’d choose Felix right now.
Adam wasn’t that smart. He reached out and set a hand on Felix’s shoulder. Felix nodded.
“If things don’t work out with Tick,” Felix said. “You know where to find me.”
Part 2