Laura's Levels Of Hell
0. Heaven:
Laura's friends, people who meet her most stringent standards for not sucking, people who figured out how to pass the quiz, and people who like
Susan. 1. Purgatory:
People who pluralize (or possesify) non-plural or possessive establishments, i.e. "Barnes and Noble's," "Costco's" and "Eckerd's," people who refer to kissing or fornicating as "hooking up," people who hate macs, and people who watch too much television.
2. The Boring and Grammatically Incorrect:
Compulsive askers of "whats up?" "what's happening?" "how are you?" "what's your major" and instigators of other small talk, people who misuse object and subject pronouns, people who constantly speak or write in the passive voice, and people who type LOL too much.
3. The Young and Misguided:
People who care where other people buy their clothes and talk about things being "trendy" and "selling out," people who try to be random and talk about squirrels all the time, people who fancy themselves either nerds or avid fans of any or all of the following: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, anime.
4. The Idiots:
Boys who say they like blow jobs and posters of women with big boobs and feel manly for doing so, girls who like those kind of boys, fraternity members, sorority members, people who talk about liking beer or pot too much, people who punctuate with "yo," and the Dave Matthews Band.
5. The Wavering:
Democrats who voted for nader in the 2000 election, Democrats who didn't vote in the 2000 election, people who don't think that Bush is "that bad" or who had no stance on the recent war, yet attest to being 'political' and yet are otherwise politically noncommittal.
6. The Miscellaneous Hates:
Vegans who wear leather, smokers who worry about eating healthy, people who steal their friends' boyfriends or girlfriends, say mean things about their best friends behind their backs, or don't think Laura's funny.
7. The Hipster Fucks:
People who say they like sarcasm and irony. People who are smarmy. People who listen to music they don't really like, watch movies they don't really like, wear trucker hats, say things like "rock out" and "hip" all for the sake of irony.
8. The Immorally-moral:
Republicans, SUV drivers, suburb dwellers, people who homeschool their children, the religious right, other anti-abortionists, including ones who shoot abortion doctors, assholes, people who think that porn is sinful, jerks, and people who think "Taylor" and "Madison" are nice names for babies.
Where will Laura send you? (The first place she's sending you is
mewing.net)