This is the year where hope fails you
Why do I feel this way? Why does no one want me? Why won't I allow people to get close? Why do all my friends have people to love? People who want them? Don't listen to me im just rambling. Another angsty basterd of a teenage whine fuck. Why am i the emotional support? Is this going to be what i do the rest of my miserable blink of an existence. Consatn emotional output with no input. WHy do others problems become mine? Why can't i turn them away? Why must i feel like this? FUCK DAMNIT. I HATE MY FRIENDS I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO CRY! Having secrets about everyone having to act like i dont know a thing. WHy do you think i act the way i do? The stupid fat kid thing.. Becouse if anyone found out all i know. All my friends where tear apart at the seams. They would all leave. MY big fear being alone... i hate this. why do these things bother me. FUCK! i hate this fuck fuck grr.. I just want to be loved. TO have some emotions pumped back into me. I want somone there for me. But that person will never come. Why? Becouse there is none and wont ever be anyone for me. fucking happy couples. fuck you. This was my best day in quite some time. Supposed to be a great time. Alas here comes depression sweeping in like the uncontrolled tide. I just want to cry and have somone pat my head and say it will all be over and fine soon. I DONT FUCKING CARE WHO YOU FUCKED SUCKED MADE OUT WITH OR ANYTHING. FUCK YOU. FUCK THESE DAMN SOCIAL ISSUES. FUCK ALL OF YOU. jealousy...thats another good emotion... Jealousy is pouring out of me like blood from a fresh cut. I dont care about you damn problems. I wish i meant that.. I wish i could jsut be happy. but i cant. I cant stop doing anything becouse if i do this makes something else fuck up. So im stuck. Why do i feel so unloved.. i hate myself. I dont know... Just writing things down. Its not helping just making me seem more like a fucking ideot who relay should ahve nothing to complain about. I wish i couldnt sense emotion or have any emotions for that matter. I never going to stop being depressed. I dont give a flying fuck what the doctors say. I WILL ALWAYS BE DEPRESSED. As long as i have contactwith people and have friends i will always be depressed. COnstantly digging this whole. Surprised i cant ehar people heckling in chinease. why must i be the good kid. The easy way out seems realy good. But im not a selfish basterd. I coudlnt do that to my family. I wish i could would end all thuis pin right now or at least i think.My night ruined by one sentance. WHAT THE FUCK? am i not the saddest person ever. it wasnt even that big of a deal. why must i be like this. i just want somone to love me. "I'll do anything to myself just to have her for myself" WHo is her you ask? No one. Why? beocuse theres no one who wants me. SHe is non existant. FUCK FUCK FUCK. i realy whish i could just cry and move on. Looking forward to another "great" summer.FUCK why cant i do anything.... why am i such a loser bitch whiny fucking asgsty basterd teen