Life, Love, and Consequences - My Response
My good homie Julie Pie recently wrote on Life, Love, and Consequences. I read it and have been wanting to write about the same issues in my life. Of course, we are different people, in different countries, with different expectations of others and ourselves. We also have many things in common including our love of Pit Bulls and all Bully Breeds. Before I begin my response to her blog, I'll post the link to hers so you can read it if you want to:
*edit* It's actually set to private so you can't read it if you're not friends with her. I will later insert snippits of her blog if she grants me permission to do so.
My Response
Now that I think about it, I don't know if I can really say that I have role models in my family. Sure my parents, whom I love dearly, have given me advice or rather told me what I need to do. I'm not trying to, in any way, bash them for not being amazing role models and giving me advice that would help me through my lifes turmoils. I am just realizing who my role models are. They include, but are not limited to, (and I'm sure most of you won't know who I'm talking about) Alt, Zimmerman, Angerstein(C), Wolfie, Wilson, Jenny, and surprise surprise - Ryan. These people have talked to me about things that my parents/family -extended or immediate- have never taught me, like financial responsibilities, self-courage, self-respect, confidence, happiness, discipline, and love. The basic rules of surviving, as Julie put it. Now, I've taken advice from many trusted friends and continue to carry that with me. This is not about who really is my best friend and who isn't. It's about role models. I have been fortunate enough to find people in my life that actually care. Wow, right? People that have NOT known me all my life and still offer their assistance, money, cars, houses, and love. One thing I have to give my family credit for is Back-up! Even if they don't want to talk to me about what's really going on in my life, they've always got my back. ALWAYS. Even if it means they'd have to struggle for me to live comfortably (and I love you for it). ...but strangers? Wow, it's amazing to think of these people who've only been in my life TOPS five-six years, can be such reliable sources. I've also learned that I cannot trust too many people because I'd be let down. Maybe this is where Julie and I start to differ. Yes, through this roller-coaster of life that I've lived and through my mistakes and broken relationships, I have learned that I depend on myself, I trust myself. These role models won't always be there for me. I've realized that too, but I have also learned that I actually have people that I can depend on as well. Not many, but that's okay. Julie, maybe it's our culture, our countries, our particular families, who knows... I'm glad we know we can depend on ourselves! Not a lot of people can say that much.
Opposite of how your heart works, I let love in too easily. I also think I have only really loved one person, and I'm sorry for those exes that may or may not be reading this - please don't be hurt. Unfortunately, he never proved to me that he genuinely loved me. It seems that all too often I fall for the boys who can look me in the eyes and make me feel attractive over the ones who really know themselves and have control of their lives. I'm not saying that if you're down, you're undeserving. Julie and I just happen to love differently and, remember, this is my response. I just wonder if it's foolish. I give, I give, I give, and yes, I can be difficult, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve someone who will truly love me. I want a man who has the same qualities as I - pride in himself, self-respect, handle his own business, manage his affairs, be on top with day to day situations, motivation, high self-esteem, drive, and charisma and can love me and my dog. I do. But I also understand things happen, life happens, and we get knocked off our wagon for a while. So then my list of expectations gets shorter. Is that where I falter? Then, he needs to have self-pride/respect, motivation, drive, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to get back on top, to be able to love me through all his stife, and to be able to love and respect my dog. Is that so bad? Apparently it is. It's not enough for me to be strong and loving. No, I have to be perfect all the time and so does my dog. I can't lose a job, have my car break down, have an imperfect body. Is it not enough to have a girl who's happy with who she is? No, it's too much to ask, even though I've asked for nothing short of the basic fundamentals in life... I've become closed to boys for this reason.
One day, I hope.
Maybe the consequences of my trusting and loving too fast has made me a little closed, a little unapproachable, and a little too aware of peoples motives. Maybe it's caused me to not trust. I also don't see it as a bad thing because if someone really wants to get in my life, they can. I just need to stay closed a little longer, and they need to try harder. I think it's fair.
So, what I am really saying (or we -Julie and I - she's the originator of the topic) is that I am not hard to get to know. However, I don't need to waste my time on people who aren't going to give me what I need, treat me how I should be treated, or not take pride in themselves and who they are, to rise and be phenomenal. Once I let you in, I'll be the greatest thing that ever happened to you. Count on it. Unlike others, I don't fail the people I love.
Just don't let me down.
*edit* It's actually set to private so you can't read it if you're not friends with her. I will later insert snippits of her blog if she grants me permission to do so.
My Response
Now that I think about it, I don't know if I can really say that I have role models in my family. Sure my parents, whom I love dearly, have given me advice or rather told me what I need to do. I'm not trying to, in any way, bash them for not being amazing role models and giving me advice that would help me through my lifes turmoils. I am just realizing who my role models are. They include, but are not limited to, (and I'm sure most of you won't know who I'm talking about) Alt, Zimmerman, Angerstein(C), Wolfie, Wilson, Jenny, and surprise surprise - Ryan. These people have talked to me about things that my parents/family -extended or immediate- have never taught me, like financial responsibilities, self-courage, self-respect, confidence, happiness, discipline, and love. The basic rules of surviving, as Julie put it. Now, I've taken advice from many trusted friends and continue to carry that with me. This is not about who really is my best friend and who isn't. It's about role models. I have been fortunate enough to find people in my life that actually care. Wow, right? People that have NOT known me all my life and still offer their assistance, money, cars, houses, and love. One thing I have to give my family credit for is Back-up! Even if they don't want to talk to me about what's really going on in my life, they've always got my back. ALWAYS. Even if it means they'd have to struggle for me to live comfortably (and I love you for it). ...but strangers? Wow, it's amazing to think of these people who've only been in my life TOPS five-six years, can be such reliable sources. I've also learned that I cannot trust too many people because I'd be let down. Maybe this is where Julie and I start to differ. Yes, through this roller-coaster of life that I've lived and through my mistakes and broken relationships, I have learned that I depend on myself, I trust myself. These role models won't always be there for me. I've realized that too, but I have also learned that I actually have people that I can depend on as well. Not many, but that's okay. Julie, maybe it's our culture, our countries, our particular families, who knows... I'm glad we know we can depend on ourselves! Not a lot of people can say that much.
Opposite of how your heart works, I let love in too easily. I also think I have only really loved one person, and I'm sorry for those exes that may or may not be reading this - please don't be hurt. Unfortunately, he never proved to me that he genuinely loved me. It seems that all too often I fall for the boys who can look me in the eyes and make me feel attractive over the ones who really know themselves and have control of their lives. I'm not saying that if you're down, you're undeserving. Julie and I just happen to love differently and, remember, this is my response. I just wonder if it's foolish. I give, I give, I give, and yes, I can be difficult, but that doesn't mean I don't deserve someone who will truly love me. I want a man who has the same qualities as I - pride in himself, self-respect, handle his own business, manage his affairs, be on top with day to day situations, motivation, high self-esteem, drive, and charisma and can love me and my dog. I do. But I also understand things happen, life happens, and we get knocked off our wagon for a while. So then my list of expectations gets shorter. Is that where I falter? Then, he needs to have self-pride/respect, motivation, drive, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to get back on top, to be able to love me through all his stife, and to be able to love and respect my dog. Is that so bad? Apparently it is. It's not enough for me to be strong and loving. No, I have to be perfect all the time and so does my dog. I can't lose a job, have my car break down, have an imperfect body. Is it not enough to have a girl who's happy with who she is? No, it's too much to ask, even though I've asked for nothing short of the basic fundamentals in life... I've become closed to boys for this reason.
One day, I hope.
Maybe the consequences of my trusting and loving too fast has made me a little closed, a little unapproachable, and a little too aware of peoples motives. Maybe it's caused me to not trust. I also don't see it as a bad thing because if someone really wants to get in my life, they can. I just need to stay closed a little longer, and they need to try harder. I think it's fair.
So, what I am really saying (or we -Julie and I - she's the originator of the topic) is that I am not hard to get to know. However, I don't need to waste my time on people who aren't going to give me what I need, treat me how I should be treated, or not take pride in themselves and who they are, to rise and be phenomenal. Once I let you in, I'll be the greatest thing that ever happened to you. Count on it. Unlike others, I don't fail the people I love.
Just don't let me down.